Psychological research shows a mere three things are crucial to human happiness, and one of them is love.*

Gods and goddesses of love, passion, fertility, and even marital fidelity appear in the earliest historic writings, and many of the stories that have endured best feature male and female heroes’ passionate love affairs. Famous examples include Chretien de Troyes’ tale of Queen Guenevere’s love affair with Lancelot (c. 1170); Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet (1597); and Charles Perrault’s Sleeping Beauty (1697).

This basic human need for romantic, sexual, and marital connections is reflected in Carl Jung’s anima/animus archetype. In essence, Jung believed there is a psychological construct in males (the anima) that creates a strong draw to the feminine as it’s embodied in real women, and a matching construct in females (the animus) that draws them to men. One of the best visual metaphors for the concept is the yin-yang; each of the contrasting halves, one of which refers (in part) to the female and the other to the male, is embedded with a disc of the opposite sex’s color.

Losing and Finding One’s “Other Half”

“Chemistry,” as we now call it, has long been thought of as the need for and recognition of your “other half,” and as Jung saw it, this recognition was prompted by the anima or animus. Plato’s Symposium, written in 360 BC, provides an explanation for how the need initially developed.

“The original human nature was not like the present, but different. The primeval man was round, his back and sides forming a circle; and he had four hands and four feet, one head with two faces, looking opposite. He could walk upright as men now do, backwards or forwards as he pleased, and he could also roll over and over at a great pace, turning on his four hands and four feet, eight in all, like tumblers going over and over with their legs in the air; this was when he wanted to run fast… [The sexes were not two as they are now, but originally three in number; there was man (made of 2 male parts), woman (made of 2 female parts), and the union of the two (one male and one female part). But the primeval humans] made an attack upon the gods [and Zeus said]: “Methinks I have a plan which will humble their pride and improve their manners; men shall continue to exist, but I will cut them in two. [Apollo] gave a turn to the face and pulled the skin from the sides all over that which in our language is called the belly, which he fastened in a knot (the same which is called the navel).

“After the division the two parts of man, each desiring his other half, came together, and throwing their arms about one another, entwined in mutual embraces, longing to grow into one. Each of us when separated is always looking for his other half.And when one meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and would not be out of the other’s sight, as I may say, even for a moment: these are the people who pass their whole lives together. And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called love.”

What all of this means is that, just like in real life, your characters should be attracted to their love interests for a reason. The potential love interest’s traits and behavior must resonate with your hero because they somehow make him or her more whole.

Many writers create love interests that reflect their own ideas of the “perfect” man or woman; the danger is that sometimes we’re actually creating love interests for ourselves rather than for our characters. We may assume that everyone would be attracted to the same things we are, and that little explanation is needed to justify why our heroes and heroines would fall for each other. But if your hero or heroine is so universally appealing, 1) Why hasn’t s/he been snatched up yet and 2) Why has s/he fallen for this love interest? If the answer to 1 is that s/he’s been waiting for the “right one” to come along, 2 is even more important. Also remember that in real life, the people we’re most drawn to aren’t always the ones who are best for us–sometimes we’re so focused on a bad choice that we don’t even see Mr. or Ms. Soulmate when s/he wanders by. Scarlett O’Hara’s obsession with Ashley is doomed to failure because he can never be what she needs.

And of course, sometimes the people we’re most drawn to won’t have us, because while they could meet our needs, we don’t or can’t meet theirs. In the film Gladiator, Commodus is drawn to his sister Lucilla because she represents the purity and kindness he lacks, but he is too flawed for her to truly love in return, even as a brother.

The Anima, the Animus, and the Double

Because Jung didn’t address gay and lesbian relationships in the way that the Plato did, the anima/animus archetype is difficult to apply to gay/lesbian relationships. Some modern theorists argue that an archetype they call the Double is responsible for committed same-sex partnerships.

The Double draws us into all relationships with individuals of the same sex, which can range from platonic friendships to love relationships. In other words, the Double helps us find our best same-sex friends as well as love our brothers and fathers (if we’re male) and our sisters and mothers (if we’re female). Meanwhile, the anima (for men) and the animus (for women) help us find our opposite-sex mates. For those people who were metaphorically cut apart from a same-sex other half, the Double takes over this responsibility as well.

Three Influences on the Anima/Animus

Both the anima and animus are influenced by three things: biology, sociocultural environment, and personal experience.

Biology

Reams of paper have been used to argue which sex is superior to the other, but research demonstrates that men and women are actually equal in terms of their psychological and cognitive (thinking, intelligence) skills–except for one thing. Men significantly outperform women on spatial ability ( i.e. they conceptualize distance, speed, spin, direction, and area better than women, which is believed to have developed because men needed to be able to hit exactly what they aimed at when they threw spears at prey).

From an evolutionary perspective, the differences men and women do have developed because they faced different adaptive problems. The principle of natural selection says that any genetically-influenced characteristic or behavior that contributes to the survival of oneself and one’s offspring will eventually become more common in the general population.

For example, imagine all of the dangers our ancestors faced: predators, disease, famine, and long cold winters, just to name a few. Now let’s pretend that there are four types of men in this ancient world: men who are fast, men who are strong, men who are smart, and men who have none of these characteristics. When faced with a natural predator like a bear, the fast men may be able to outrun it, the strong men may be able to fight it off, the smart men may be able to outwit it, and the men with none of these characteristics probably don’t have a prayer.

Since the men who are fast, smart, or strong live longer, they have more years to produce offspring; they also are better able to hunt down and kill deer, buffalo, and other animals that provide food and furs. Men who then took these food and furs to their wives and children were more likely to have families that survived cold winters, thereby insuring that the man’s genetic material stayed in the gene pool. Men who had two or more of the above characteristics (fast, smart, or strong) were more likely to become renowned warriors who led tribes and were therefore able not only to protect, feed, and warm their families, but who also received additional resources and protection from the warriors who served under them.

Now think about the women in this same tribe. The women were often unable to hunt or fight off predators alone, so they needed men to protect them and bring them resources to aid survival. (Imagine a woman who’s 8 months pregnant chasing down a deer or fighting off a cougar and you’ll see what I mean–feminism works much better in a world that equalizes physical differences.) If these women were attracted to men who had neither strength nor speed nor intelligence, they were more likely to be left unprotected and without food and warmth; therefore, they and their children were more likely to die prematurely. Likewise, women who were uninterested in caring for their offspring were likely to lose those children, thereby removing their own genetic material from the gene pool. (With our modern perspective, we tend to want to imagine these women and children getting assistance from the rest of the tribe, but when food was so scarce survival was in question, each family would have had to put its own needs first.)

Because men’s hunting and fighting ability was so important, men convert energy to muscle more easily than women, experience faster healing of wounds and bruises, have fewer nerve endings in their skin (which makes their bodies less sensitive to touch and pain), and have excellent spatial skills (ability to think in three dimensions) that helped them shoot arrows and throw spears. Since they could never be absolutely sure that the children their partners carried were theirs, jealousy made them protect their wives from other men’s sexual access. Because only young, healthy women can have babies, men who were attracted to these kinds of women were more likely to pass on their genetic material than men who were attracted infertile diseased women!

Women convert energy into stored fat, which is necessary to carry healthy offspring (women who are very thin often lose the ability to have children; some scientists believe that industrialized nations have higher infertility rates because women strive to keep their body fat and weight so low). They also have a stronger resistance to infection, have more acute senses of vision, hearing, smell, and taste so they can take better care of their children and find dangers like rotten food.

Women are better at reading body language and emotional expressions, which helped them figure out which men were truthful about being committed (this is actually why women analyze their relationships to death and men don’t). They also have stronger verbal skills, which helped them get along in the community with other women, and better verbalize the need for help or medicinal remedies. Women also tend to be attracted to strong, masculine men who are of high status and have plenty of resources. This is why young, attractive women often end up with rich older men.

These differences have been encoded into our genes at the physical level, but Jung lived decades before David Buss’ extensive research into this kind of evolutionary psychology. What that means is that Jung probably would have believed the idealized “masculine” or “feminine” was imprinted on the “psychic DNA” of the collective unconscious rather than the literal, physical DNA of our bodies.

Rather than seeing that as negation of the anima/animus archetype, we have to remember that the archetypes are psychological echoes of different parts of human nature, many of which are influenced by biology. The persona (putting on a “face” others will like) is underlain by a social instinct that led our ancestors to develop “packs” to fight off predators; the shadow is underlain by aggressive and often sexual instincts; and the anima and animus are psychic manifestations of biological attraction and mating instincts.

Sociocultural Environment

Different cultures value different things. Growing up, we’re indoctrinated into our culture by learning that, for example, N is for Nurse (who’s female), D is for Doctor (who’s male), and T is for teacher (who’s female). And just try finding an advertisement that has a little boy using a toy vacuum or a little girl in a room with footballs on her sheets.

Some people argue that gender is a social construction–that is, the greatest differences between men and women exist because we act like they’re there. Myths, fairy tales, religion, art, and all of the other cultural images to which we’re exposed help us build our understanding of what is male and what is female.

For example, Cinderella, the Virgin Mary, Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe, Katherine Hepburn, and Angelina Jolie all teach us different things about what it means to be feminine. Likewise, King Arthur, James Dean, Steve McQueen, Al Pacino, and Adam Sandler all teach us different things about what it means to be masculine.

Individual Experience

Both anima and animus are affected by the relationships we saw between our primary caregivers (traditionally the mother and father), and the interactions we have with the same and opposite sex. As we grow, each of us forms a kind of blueprint of how the world works. We incorporate things like our parents’ relationships and values, and their beliefs about relationships and sex.

These caregivers serve as doorways to the masculine and feminine in the collective unconscious. We come to understand what it means to be masculine (information contained in the animus) through our male caregivers and what it means to be feminine (information stored in the anima) through the feminine qualities embodied by our female caregivers.

Notes

* The other two are a/ satisfying work and b/ personality, most notably the qualities of high self-esteem, extraversion, and optimism.

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TEASER for ANIMA/ANIMUS PART II: When we write, we often focus on watching our characters fall in love without thinking about what happens after the “happily ever after.” Given the 50% divorce rate in the United States, a lot of us like to leave our characters in a blissful state and pretend they’ll never face the struggles we do in our real-life partnerships. But research shows that there are a few very specific behaviors that will make or break a marriage; by focusing on these things alone, researchers can predict whether a marriage will last with 96% accuracy!

Dr. Carolyn Kaufman is a clinical psychologist who teaches at Columbus State Community College in Columbus, Ohio. A published writer, she recently launched Archetype Writing: Psychology for Fiction Writers (http://www.archetypewriting.com). Visitors will find not only articles about psychology tailored to their needs, but they can ask Dr. K their writing/psychology questions. She is often quoted by the media as an expert resource.

When thinking of coffee beans and the environment they grow in, most people automatically think of sprawling, commercial coffee crop plantations in the middle of nowhere. They may believe sunlight is the main nutrient for all types of coffee. However, different coffee crops share different growth and harvesting procedures. The two main types of coffee growth: shade grown (organic coffee) and direct sunlight (traditional coffee) are on the opposite sides of the spectrum when it comes to production.

In the past, all coffee was shade grown and bore some resemblance to organic coffee. Most kinds of coffee refuse to sprout majestically under direct sunlight and thrive best under sun blocking trees. Shade grown coffee benefited from fallen leaves which help to mulch the soil to retain moisture. In addition, shade trees provide homes for birds, which act as pest control. With few fertilizers and pesticides used as recently as 30 years ago, coffee was a hallmark of healthy production.

In the 1970’s, new hybrids of coffee crop began to sprout. Farmers began to learn new ways of producing more coffee beans, slowing down the harvesting rate, and use direct sunlight to raise crops. In order to make room for non-organic coffee, many farmers even chopped down their trees to create plantation room. In the United States, approximately 2 million acres of lands dedicated to organic and non-organic coffee had its shade trees removed. The only farmers who spared their shade trees for organic coffee were the ones too poor to afford fertilizers and pesticides needed for production.

With the transition from organic coffee to “sun coffee” growing coffee began to sacrifice the environment. Soil erosion and nutrient depletion became the norm as more chemical fertilizers were sprayed onto the ground. In addition, producers were adamant at removing rainforest land in the search for non-organic coffee soil. Today, there are only a few countries that are making the switch to producing full time organic coffee, including Ethiopia, Panama, Mexico, and El Salvador. Bigger countries like Costa Rica and Brazil continue to be mainly non-organic coffee producers. All in all, organic coffee has derived its history from the spoiled environment its non-organic counterpart specializes in creating.

Scott Wilson has been a importer and roaster of organic coffee for over a decade. He is also the owner of Stonehill Manor Organic Coffee

Traditional coffee like Folders and the popular Spanish brand Nescafe have maintained that familiar, consistent great taste over the years. Despite pesticides and fertilizers harvested in the large, commercial coffee plantations they grow on, it manages to suit an average person’s tastes as evident by its sales. In justifying the high prices for organic coffee, many people point to its tastes as one of the main reasons. Does organic coffee taste better than traditional coffee?

To begin, organic coffee tastes better than traditional coffee because of the growing methods farmers use. Factors that weigh heavily with improved taste include shade grown and organic farming methods that are in force today that promote healthier soil, clean water, and habitats for birds that provide pest control. As an added bonus, organic coffee receives a taste boost if it is high-grown. Organic coffee under shade trees are the definition of “premium” in that fewer coffee cherries are produces unlike traditional coffee that grow under the sun. Because of this, organic coffee cherries grow slower and finer, and the difference is passed on to your I Love New York mug.

Another reason why organic coffee tastes better is because of the incentives farmers receive for producing it. With an average of 15 cents more per pound, producers are more inclined to keep their trees in top shape and harvest them better. Organic coffee producers also place a higher emphasis on harvesting, many of which is done by hand to assure the best beans are processed. This is a must, considering coffee trees have cherries going through different development cycles. The harvesting process also separates regular beans from the finer ones. All in all, because of the more intricate care placed with growing organic coffee, taste is improved tenfold.

Scott Wilson has been a importer and roaster of organic coffee for over a decade. He is also the owner of Stonehill Manor Organic Coffee

Cover Letters

Cover letters that grab your attention

Normally, when sending a cover letter to apply for a published job, you face a daunting task. The boss may have hundreds of similar letters piled on his desk. Your letter will get just a few seconds to pass the screening. Otherwise, you will be filed in the Drawer of Death in the Human Resources office–or the trash. What can you say that will make a difference, anyway? As an aside, this is why I recommend a networking approach to job hunting. Often, my clients are able to uncover positions that haven’t been advertised yet-or have jobs created especially for them because they can handle unmet needs in the company. They don’t face such massive competition. Still, it is important NOT to ignore published job openings, as many good opportunities do appear.

Cover Letters: should be clear and easy to read

Cover Letters: need to focus on the value you bring

Cover Letters: should be specific with a target in mind

Cover Letters: need to be brief and to the point

Cover Letters: should be proactive, letting them know you will follow up

When sending a cover letter to a published opening, it is key to grab the employer’s attention right away. Unfortunately, many people send letters with uninspired opening paragraphs like this one: “I am writing to apply for the Sales Rep position you advertised in the Daily News. I have five years of experience in sales, and am sure that I am the perfect person to meet your needs.” Others hit the employer with a bunch of job-hunting drivel: “I am a results-oriented, bottom-line driven, team player with eight years of progressive experience in the field.” Don’t waste your first paragraph telling the employer that you’re applying for the job. Instead, write on its own line between the date and the employer’s address (or in the subject line of the email), then grab their attention by talking about how you can contribute. Like this:

Today’s date “Re: Sales Rep Position” Wellness Products International
2354 Main Street
Granite City, MO

Distinguish yourself from other applicants. For example, you might start the letter like this:

“Wherever I have worked, I have quickly and thoroughly grasped complex product knowledge, opened major new accounts, and established myself as a resource for other sales reps.”

Next, provide details about your professional and/or academic qualifications, stressing accomplishments. Relate how your experience and skills relate to the needs of the company. In the last paragraph, be proactive. End the letter by saying that you will call to follow up to set up a meeting. Visit http://www.activ8careers.com to read about how to organize your resume.

The T-Letter There is more than one way to write a good cover letter, but here’s one dynamite method: the T-letter. They can’t be used in every situation, but they are spectacularly effective when you are a really good fit for the job. After a short and compelling opening paragraph, make a table with two columns: “Your Requirements” and “My Experience.” Select a few of the most important things the employer is looking for, and put them in the first column. Then, show how your experience perfectly matches what they want. Don’t just parrot back what they say, but showing real accomplishment in the “My Experience” column:

Bad Example 5 years of successful sales experience I have 6 years of successful sales experience

Good Example 5 years of successful sales experienceDuring my six years in sales, I have effectively opened new territories for two companies, earning a president’s club membership four times, and winning several other sales awards, including “Rookie of the Year.”

Bad Example Familiarity with K-12 Educational Administration and Management.I have seven years experience working with schools, and am familiar with their administration and management.

Good Example Familiarity with K-12 Educational Administration and Management.As a teacher and a sales representative to schools, I understand the chain of command and how to establish productive relationships within it. I recently negotiated the statewide adoption of our product in Iowa, resulting in a $1 million sale. As in all phases of the job search, the key to writing a great cover letters is your internal work in which you find what you do best and articulate your accomplishments.

David Hults author of the book “From Cornered To Corner Office” Overcoming the most unexpected obstacles that stand between you and your career dreams. http://www.fromcorneredtocorneroffice.com

Mary Sue’s Always Been Out There:
The Perfect Hero and the Perfect Heroine

Every archetype has a positive and a negative side. As we saw in the Three-Dimensional Villains article, the villain is the negative aspect of the shadow, while creativity is the positive. To further complicate things, everyone has both anima and animus–the anima is just more evident in the male and the animus in the female.

The Influence of the Animus: Women’s Heroes and Heroines

It’s easy to create an ideal man or woman for your stories. If you’re female, your ideal woman is usually a Mary Sue (your idea of the perfect woman–usually smart, sexy, hyper-competent, and of course devastatingly gorgeous), while your idealized love interest takes the shape of your animus. If he’s dark and dangerous, you’re projecting negative animus; if he’s sensitive and committed, you’re projecting positive animus. In most cases, you’ll probably see both. (Please note that many if not most writers avoid using their ideals in pure form, and recognizing them is not the same thing as falling prey to them.)

Animus

The positive animus is assertive, thoughtful, rational, powerful, courageous, objective, honorable, and wise, qualities embodied by characters like King Arthur, Prince Charming, Robin Hood, Zorro, and modern superheroes like Superman.

Female characters with strong animuses are usually quite feminine, but rather than drawing strength from seduction or manipulation, they draw it from something inside, like Lois Lane (Superman), Princess Leia (Star Wars) or Ellen Ripley (Alien).

The negative animus also carries shadow qualities in that it’s ruthless, opinionated, destructive, brutal, reckless, and cold in the way Bluebeard, Harry Potter’s Voldemort, and Superman’s Lex Luthor are. Female villains like Cruella deVil, Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and the Wicked Witch of the West all have strong negative animuses.

According to Jungian scholar Marie-Louise Von Franz:

The male personification of the unconscious in the woman — the animus — exhibits both good and bad aspects, as does the anima in man. But the animus does not so often appear in the form of an erotic fantasy or mood [as the anima often does to men]…even in a woman who is outwardly very feminine the animus can be an equally hard and inexorable power. One may suddenly find oneself up against something in a woman that is obstinate, cold and completely inaccessible.

The Influence of the Anima: Men’s Heroes and Heroines

If you’re male, your ideal man is usually a Marty Stu (your idea of the perfect male–clever, powerful, handsome, and super-capable) and your idealized love interest is your anima. If she’s a femme fatale, you’re projecting negative anima; if she’s lady, you’re projecting positive anima.

Anima

The positive anima provides guidance and is patient, compassionate, tender, nurturing, intuitive, life-giving, loving, and considerate, embodied by mythological priestesses and sibyls as well as characters like Snow White, the Virgin Mary, Peter Pan’s Wendy, Beatrice in Dante’s Paradiso, and Belle in Beauty and the Beast. In stories, anima figures teach heroes to recognize these qualities in themselves: think Maria in the Sound of Music, Cosette in Les Miserables, and Arwen in The Lord of the Rings. Male characters with positive animas have heart without being weak, like Christian from Moulin Rouge, Cameron from 10 Things I Hate About You, and Wesley from the Princess Bride.

The negative anima carries shadow qualities in that it’s moody, uncertain, vain, catty, dangerously tempting, insecure, overbearing, and hypersensitive, embodied by characters like the Greek Sirens, the German Lorelei or the Slavonic Ruskala, wicked witches and wicked stepmothers, the vain Queen in Snow White, or Maleficent in Disney’s Sleeping Beauty. In stories, these women are often difficult or dangerous but often alluring, like Mystique in the X-Men films or the Dark Phoenix in the X-Men comics. Male characters with negative animas are moody, unpredictable, and dangerous like Commodus in the film Gladiator.

Antiheroes

Some characters have both positive and negative aspects of the anima or animus, creating anti-heroes, flawed heroes, and sympathetic villains.

In the film Terminator 2, Sarah Connor’s positive animus is evident in her heroic determination to save her son and the world, but her negative animus is also strong in that her methods are often brutal and heartless.

In Gladiator, as noted above, Commodus displays a strong negative anima in that he’s petulant and emotional, but he’s also drawn strongly to the kind of positive anima he can’t find in himself, embodied by his sister Lucilla.

Gone with the Wind’s Scarlett O’Hara has a strong positive animus that displays determination, independence, and protectiveness, but she also has a lot of unpleasant anima qualities–she’s given to histrionics and manipulative ploys.

Falling in Love is Easier than Making it Last

The anima and animus may help us find passionate relationships, but research shows that there are a lot of things that can destroy them. From a Jungian perspective, a relationship is doomed to crumble when you’re real-life lover can’t live up to the idealized image of the anima or animus you’ve projected.

Story characters who fall in love with a fantasy–like Scarlett O’Hara’s infatuation with the undeserving Ashley–are doomed to be disappointed when the real, flawed person shows through. Sometimes falling in love with one’s anima or animus isn’t what’s really best for us. As Scarlett learns when she meets Rhett Butler, sometimes what we need most is what infuriates us the most.

The Three Essential Parts of Love

Attraction is an interesting thing, and it comes in different flavors. According to Robert Sternberg, all types of love and attraction can be arranged in a triangular shape. The points are:

1. Liking (intimacy and sharing - alone, this is “friendship”)
2. Passion (strong emotions and sexual attraction; alone, this is “infatuation”)
3. Commitment (intentions to stay in spite of difficulties; alone, this is “empty love”)

Between liking and passion is romantic love; between liking and commitment is companionate love; between commitment and passion is fatuous love.

Anima/animus attractions usually start with passion–they’re that jaw-dropping desire for someone you don’t know well, but who just “does it” for you. The danger of anima/animus attractions is that they’re actually projections of our own anima/animus. As we get to know the other person, we are either disillusioned because they don’t fit the idealized image we’re projecting onto them, or we come to know them as people and fall in love with them because we also like them.

Love that includes liking, passion, and commitment is what Sternberg calls “consummate” or perfect love. But while it’s solid and makes us feel whole, it’s not effortless. Psychologist John Gottman researches what makes relationships last or fail, and he can predict whether a couple will divorce with 96% accuracy.

The Four Horsemen of a Doomed Relationship

Gottman has demonstrated that the four behaviors, which he calls the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” endanger any relationship, and when combined with an inability to “make successful repair attempts,” they doom it.

The horsemen are expressed through body language as much as through verbal behavior; when they appear often, they predict divorce in the 80% range.

1. Criticism - This goes beyond complaining about an action or behavior and becomes an attack on the other person; the word “you” coupled with “never” or “always” is usually an indicator. “Why don’t/can’t you ever…?” or “Why do you always…?” or “You never…”
2. Contempt - Disdain, disgust, sneering, contempt, demeaning mocking, name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, and hostile humor.
3. Defensiveness - Refusal to accept some responsibility, defensiveness amounts to “The problem isn’t me, it’s all you.”
4. Stonewalling - Usually known as “the silent treatment, facing a stonewaller is like talking to a brick wall. It doesn’t budge, and it doesn’t discuss. 85% of the time, men are the stonewallers. Women are more likely to criticize.

About 85% of couples who are able to make successful repair attempts by using humor or taking a break to deescalate and regain perspective stay married.

As uncomfortable as conflict usually is, it’s necessary for a healthy relationship. People who don’t argue aren’t communicating, and when their relationships begin to fall apart, there’s nothing available to patch them back together.

Interestingly, the breakdown of traditional relationships has contributed to the conflict that causes so many divorces. When men and women had strictly defined roles, society disdained attempts to cross the gender boundaries in real life–for example, the only way to get your fill of “feminine” if you were male was to spend a lot of time with your wife. Modern society is still reconciling the blurring of the gender lines, sometimes more smoothly than others, and the resulting confusion can only really be addressed through healthy communication.

The Syzygy: Pulling it All Together

When the anima and animus come together, they create Syzygy, a term that represents the same kind of cohesive whole Plato described when the two halves of sundered humans wrap their arms around one another once again become one.

In real life, finding and getting along with your “other half” is difficult. Have you ever read a story in which the characters constantly misunderstand, insult, and stonewall each other, yet by the last page you’re to believe that they will live happily ever after with none of the conflict that filled every page before the last? In real life, it doesn’t work that way, and it shouldn’t in fiction, either. Conflict is the engine that keeps every story going, and the love relationships between your characters are one of the most important parts of that engine.

Think about it this way: There’s no way Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler would settle down without ever arguing again, but what fun would they be if they did?

Notes, References, and Further Reading

• A nice discussion of the Double is available at http://www.aislingmagazine.com/aislingmagazine/articles/TAM24/TheDouble.html
• Plato’s Symposium is available in multiple places online, but I usually use http://classics.mit.edu/Plato/symposium.html

• Buss, David. (2003). Evolutionary Psychology: The New Science of the Mind, Second Edition. Allyn & Bacon
• Buss, David.(2003). The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating. Basic Books.
• Gottman, John. Various. Forget those other books, Gottman’s are the real deal. His research is some of the most compelling in couples and marital therapy and is often used by therapists.
• Von Franz, M. L. (1964). The Process of Individuation. In (Ed.) Carl Jung, Man and His Symbols, p. 198. New York: Laurel

Dr. Carolyn Kaufman is a clinical psychologist who teaches at Columbus State Community College in Columbus, Ohio. A published writer, she recently launched Archetype Writing: Psychology for Fiction Writers (http://www.archetypewriting.com). Visitors will find not only articles about psychology tailored to their needs, but they can ask Dr. K their writing/psychology questions. She is often quoted by the media as an expert resource.

A heaping of organic coffee powder being tossed into your steaming hot milk in the mornings is an experience in itself. That’s not knocking traditional coffee, which also turns tired bodies to life in a matter of minutes. Today, many consumers have switched to organic fruits and vegetables in an attempt to fend off pesticides, live healthier, and to stay environmentally conscious. As a result, the more serious coffee enthusiasts have been forced to pay premium prices for organic coffee as a result of Fair Trade and the complexity of its production. Just how is organic coffee produced that justifies this expense?

To begin, organic coffee production differs from traditional company in that organic coffee plants grow under shade trees, which serve to purify the soil and prevent water contamination. Given the limited number of shade trees, many coffee growers have opted to produce bigger crops in the middle of pesticide and fertilizer infested territory given the larger surface area. Unfortunately, there is no way to produce non-organic coffee without the use of synthetic chemicals that have been known to harm the environment. Since pesticides pollute the soil, much question has been raised over the declining taste of coffee and its effects on health.

In addition to nurturing organic coffee beans, shade trees also double as habitats for birds that prevent pests from touching organic coffee crops. In essence, they are nature’s replacement for pesticides. Today, an ideal plot of land for organic coffee is a small farm with plenty of shade trees and a sizable bird population for pest control. Organic coffee thrives so much in these conditions that the United States requires all of its organic farmers to use this type of land.

In conclusion, organic coffee is grown under better and more stable conditions than traditional coffee. With smaller farms and its shade trees replacing large coffee plantations soaked with pesticides, organic coffee is your best bet towards a better environment and a salute to your health.

Scott Wilson has been a importer and roaster of organic coffee for over a decade. He is also the owner of Stonehill Manor Organic Coffee

When you choose a host for your web site do you look for a low monthly cost, low domain registration costs, high monthly bandwidth or large storage capacity? If your attention is on any of these typically heavily advertised website hosting features you may be missing out on a key benefit that could be much more important to the success of your internet business. Before you let your thinking get railroaded down the track a web host wants to take you, perhaps you should first ask them: do they host unlimited domains?

If you only have one website, hosting unlimited domains may not seem that important to you. Be assured, if you are serious about your internet business you will almost certainly be wanting to register and host multiple domains quite soon.

There are a lot of reasons why your internet business may soon expand over several websites and domain names. As the internet becomes more competitive, success is rarely to be found in broad general websites. Search engines now give a higher ranking to websites that give very specific information that is directly relevant to the exact enquiry made by a searcher. It is all about improving the quality of an internet user’s experience and the value a user gains from a search engine. Closely targeted niche websites are proving to be more successful at gaining a higher search engine ranking. Many internet businesses find they get better results by operating their business through several websites, each targeting a specific market niche, rather than trying to cover all of their business through one website.

You may also find it advantageous to approach each of your business niches from several directions in different websites. Perhaps each website targets a different demographic group, with different graphics, content and a unique style in each site. They all may be selling the same product or service, but they each focus on different user benefits and values. Suppose you are selling life insurance. One funky website might target younger people with the benefit of lower premiums when they start their policy at a young age and have more disposable income. Another more conservative website may target families with an emphasis on the security benefits for the children when their parents have life insurance cover.

Some internet users like to experiment, testing the effects of different approaches to their market with different websites. Testing and continuous improvement is a powerful way to grow your business and to strengthen your competitive position.

Domain names have also become a speculative asset, and substantial returns have been made from buying distinctive domain names and either just holding or parking them, or building their page rank to add value to them.

Cost and capacity differences between web hosts that offer hosting for just one domain name are becoming minor in the very competitive web hosting business. But a host that will permit you to host unlimited domains on your account has a game changing offer that can give you powerful flexibility in growing your internet business, and the ability to slash your average hosting costs per website.

Discover more about the important economic and strategic benefits for your internet business from hosting unlimited domains on your web host, and learn where you can get unlimited domains hosting with big savings by using a special discount coupon.

This is the information age where technology is ruling not only minds but also the business. And if you are following the IT trend then you must have heard the drone around embedded software design. Embedded software design is not new to the world but with the changing time it has gained a lot of importance and also popularity. Prior knowing what is embedded software design, it is wise to know what exactly embedded system is.

Embedded system is a system wherein the normal computer is purposely encapsulated by the device it controls. Moreover, it is like a general-purpose computer which can be your personal computer. Above all an embedded system usually performs one or a few pre-defined tasks and that too with very specific requirements. Being dedicated to precise tasks the design engineers have got the freedom to optimize it by significantly reducing the size and cost of the product. Seeing its importance, now embedded systems are often mass-produced, so the cost savings may be multiplied.

There are various companies offering embedded software design services but only few are able to sustain in this competition and Softage is one of them. Softage is a complete IT company offering all the services falling in the bracket of IT. Having years of experience, Softage makes sure that it provides best and professional services to its clients. While going for embedded software design debugging plays a vital role.

According to the software experts, debugging is one of the most difficult parts of embedded software design.Debugging is usually done to test the software before it is passed on to testing. Ones it has been cleared of all the bugs, the next task on hand is testing. Testing is the most crucial phase or stage wherein the software goes under various rigorous tests to check its validity and functionality. Being the last and decisive stage herein software undergoes a lot of testing just to ensure it is functioning properly and also free from any bugs. Ones the software has passed this phase it is ready to deliver to the client.

Softage is one of the best and leading IT companies in Russia providing embedded software design services to the world. And if you have such kind of requirement then simply outsource it to them.

Thus, for more information on embedded software design, embedded systems programming, or embedded firmware programming, please visit http://www.softage.ru

Kirill writes for http://www.softage.ru

The presentation of this story in my Wednesday daily newspaper is dramatic.

A smaller headline in color above the main headline says “Digital Job Searches Gain Ground”.

The main headline says “Straight to the Waste Basket” and shows a picture up top of a resume folded like a paper airplane headed presumably for a wastebasket (if you are wondering, wastebasket is one word, not two).

Is it really true? Well, I guess that depends on who you are talking to and what advice you choose to believe.

The story-and I use the word story rather than article because I believe most of the story is make believe-makes some observations and assumptions that are without substance in fact.

“Instead of reading your resume,” says Daine Stafford of The Kansas City Star, “an employer might ask you to fill out an online form or take an online test that measures how well you fit the job, based on responses from successful workers.”

That is an observation and the first part of it is correct, that more and more employers are asking for an email version of a resume rather than the traditional hard copy (printed) version we have used in recent decades.

Stafford says “Google, for example, uses a screening program to measure applicants’ attitudes, behaviors, personality and biographical details. Answers are scrunched in a formula that creates a score, indicating how well the candidate is likely to fare on the job.”

Fair enough, Google probably does so if Stafford says so.

I have often wondered what a screening question like “Which would you rather be: 1) a monkey, 2) a bear, 3) a tiger, or 4) a kangaroo?” actually tells human resources about a person’s personality that they could not find out better by interviewing them.

If you get the impression that interviewers are personnel types who are lazy in the hiring process, you might be right. Anything to get them to the point where they have nothing to do but push paper around and look important and arrogant in the process (like I have mine, screw you).

Stafford continues: “It’s all electronic,” said Michael Doyle, a 60-year-old job seeker from Prairie Village, Kan. (sic), who recently landed a job through personal contacts. In nine months, Doyle said, he’s spoken to exactly two interviewers as a result of online postings.”

My guess is that Doyle may have submitted an email version of his resume to dozens, if not hundreds, of online destinations.

I could have told Doyle that probably 60% of all hiring is contacts, knowing people in the workplace or knowing people who know people in the workplace. Yes, it helps to have qualifications, but it helps more to have qualifications and know someone who wants to help you.

Reading about Doyle’s experience might lead me to conclude that online posting is not the best method to proceed here given the results. No wonder hiring is so screwed up.

From this and another example, Stafford then draws the conclusion that the applicants “discovered that resumes have gone digital.”

She goes on to say “In some cases, resumes have disappeared from the hiring process completely. Some employers don’t even want them in digitized format. They prefer customized online forms, tailor-made to cull the applicant field.”

Again, anything to make it easier on personnel types, we certainly would not want to put them out for even a minute of their precious time.

From the input of experiences of two applicants this conclusion comes bursting forth as implied truth that a new paradigm has taken place in the America business of hiring.

(Editor’s note: This is Part 1 of a 4-part article.)

Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley

Ed Bagley is the Author of Ed Bagley’s Blog, which he Publishes Daily with Fresh, Original Articles on Lessons in Life, Jobs and Careers, Movie Reviews, Sports and Recreation, and Internet Marketing intended to Delight, Inform, Educate and Motivate Readers. He also operates an upscale resume writing service for executives and professionals that is part of his Blog. Visit Ed at . . .
http://www.edbagleyblog.com
and check out this main article section at . . .
http://www.edbagleyblog.com/LessonsinLifeArticles.html

Integrity
Who you are
When nobody is watching
I know the concept
Can be quite frightening
At times disheartening
But always enlightening.
As you gradually become
Increasingly self-aware
The probing question
Is how much do you care?
Are you willing to be honest
Truthful and confrontational
Concerning character flaws
That need to be addressed
Harnessed and corrected
Or will you contrarily
Be wayward and infected
By your stubbornness
And self-righteousness
By which you live in denial
Plateau, discredit, and file
Your skeletons in the closet
Bury them beneath the shelf
Conceal them from all else
Though privately you know
Your life is a vain show
Your heart within sinks low
As you feel a failure
Unable to arise and grow
Above deadly tendencies
Painful behavioral patterns
Which you wish to unlearn
Forget, remove, and overturn
Your heart does deeply yearn
To scorn, scratch, and sever
These demons that forever
Snare and entrap your soul
You want to be made whole
Fortified and strengthened
Empowered and equipped
Develop an inner hatred within
Victoriously confront and win
Collide with, correct, and conquer
The impurities within that linger
Break the seduction of immoral
People, things, and circumstances
With your precious personhood
Don’t gamble and take chances
Don’t be hasty to make advances
By cutting corners crookedly
Which is only followed painfully
By serpents eager to bite thee
Poison, beguile, and destroy
Maneuver, woo, tantalize, and toy
Employ you to be the devil’s boy
So your integrity, he can destroy
Publicly revile, wreck, and ruin
Get it right now and wisely clue in
Be an example in all that you’re doing
Integrity and character will keep you
Anything less will break and befall you
Many are ready to deceive and trick
Don’t be charmed to cheat and risk
Your reputation, character, and name
Be honorable, discipline, and tame
Your appetites, lusts, and urges
Which if yielded to lead to dirges
A premature death, as you self-destruct
Hear this warning well and wisely deduct
Adhering to principles does preserve
Certainly your family and friends deserve

You to continue forward into the future
Rebellion and disobedience seeks to swerve
Downplay, redirect, deviate, and diminish
To err and ignorantly succumb is skittish
Get a grip and refuse to be restless
Uphold your person and progress
To wayward ones and fun reluct
Integrity and character construct.

Paul Davis is a FL real estate professional, life coach (relational & professional), worldwide minister, and change master.

Paul is the author of several books including Breakthrough for a Broken Heart; Adultery: 101 Reasons Not to Cheat; Are You Ready for True Love; Stop Lusting & Start Living; Waves of God; Supernatural Fire; Poems that Propel the Planet; and God vs. Religion.

Paul’s compassion for people & passion to travel has taken him to over 50 countries of the world where he has had a tremendous impact. Paul has served in many war-torn, impoverished and tsunami stricken regions of the earth. His Dream-Maker Inc. is building dreams, breaking limitations & reviving nations.

Paul’s Breakthrough Seminars inspire, revive, awaken, impregnate with purpose, impart the fire of desire, catapult people into a new level of self-awareness, facilitate destiny discovery and dream fulfillment.

Contact Paul to minister, speak at your event or for life coaching: RevivingNations@yahoo.com, 407-284-1705.

For additional info:
www.DreamMakerMinistries.com
www.CreativeCommunications.TV