Preserve Memories Via Scrapbooking

Let’s face it, many women are just so sentimental about a lot of things in their life. They cherish both memorable events involving their loved ones and personal things they receive from special people. Photos and souvenirs are among their most treasured possessions because they are things that remind them of their journey in life.

Now when it comes to preserving these memoirs, nothing beats scrapbooking - a hobby which has become so popular among many women of all ages around the world. Countless young women including housewives, mothers and professionals to even the golden girls are engaged in this paper craft hobby these days. What makes this popular is the fact that scrapbooking can bring out the creativity of women in preserving photos and souvenirs instead of just the usual stuff of pasting or slipping your photos in the traditional album. With scrapbooking, women can let their imagination run wild. They can design each of their album pages in the most unique way they can think of using a wide range of materials. It can truly be fun, too, especially when they can get together and share ideas as well as paper materials.

In fact, scrapbooking has also become high-tech nowadays. It has evolved from the traditional practice of using different types of paper, trimmings and markers for journaling to the latest computer software that lets hobbyists create and design album pages on their PCs. The software normally contains numerous templates, fonts and other tools for computer scrapbooking. After creating your pages on your PC, all you need is to just print them out and compile them together and voila! Your personalized scrapbook is done.

In the U.S., scrapbooking events and conventions for hobbyists and manufacturers of papercrafts are being held every now and then. The yearly MemoryTrends Conference and Expo is said to be the most comprehensive event on scrapbooking and papercrafts in the world. This event which features exhibits involves companies that sell, make, market or promote scrapbooking and papercrafts products and services. The 2006 conference led to the creation of a magazine especially geared toward the scrapbooking retailer and manufacturer.

Across the U.S., weekend scrapbooking retreats are also being held on a regular basis offering an outlet for women to have fun, meet friends and express their creativity. Normally, these events include free demonstrations on starting and enhancing your projects. Organizers also provide the venue and some of the basic materials which attendees can use during the entire duration of the event. Booths selling paper products and other craft materials are also available. Some of these weekend retreats offer all-inclusive packages complete with food and accommodation. The others provide more exciting perks like on-sight spa treatments that include massages and manicures for those joining the workshops.

Meanwhile, for those who enjoy digital scrapbooking via the computer, you can avail of free tutorials from various sites on this papercraft. Scrapbooking sites like Scrapjazz.com, Scraptutor.com and CreativeMemories.com provide information on the latest products and techniques for hobbyists. Plus, they have online contests on a monthly basis that offer fun and exciting prizes. Sometimes, they also have special promotions that give exclusive discounts to loyal subscribers. So join in the fun and expand your creativity via scrapbooking.

Podcastblaster is a site specializing in all aspect of podcasting supplying podcast software and provides an extensive podcast directory covering many topics including games & hobbies podcasts

Grief - Things To Avoid When Comforting The Grieving


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Grief & Mourning Manners
The Don’ts

–Do not be overly sensitive to the words or actions of someone in the midst of grief. When people hurt, things are often said and done that later are regretted. Focus on keeping the past where it belongs - in the past. Keep in mind that choosing to be compassionate is choosing to suffer with someone in great pain. Often, that means it is a painful experience for the comforter as well.

–Do not ask for specific details about the death. Most often the grieving will share details when and if they are ready. Otherwise, it can be very painful to feel pressured into sharing the particulars of a loved one’s death, divorce, or disease.

–Do not pretend that their loved one never existed. Hurting people have said to me, “Please don’t ignore the fact my loved one lived”. Grieving people want you to remember that the deceased was a part of their lives.

–Do not say God took their loved one. Sometimes well meaning people want to help make sense of tragedy. In that intense moment of pain, most grieving and broken-hearted people cannot find comfort in thinking that a loving God would allow such sorrow. It takes time for the loss to be processed.

–Do not compare past losses with present sorrow. Grieving people are overwhelmed in their present grief and processing their own loss and comparing your past losses is not always comforting.

–Do not give advice unless asked. Although motives might be well meaning and sincere rarely are grieving people at a place where they can process opinions. Hurting souls just want someone willing to listen.

–Do not change your home. Families have shared that it is often upsetting, after months of grief, to walk into another family member’s home and see a memorial set up in the living room. Also, it is very painful to walk into a family member’s home and see that all evidence of the loved one has been removed, as if they never lived.

–Do not refuse someone their loss, whether the loss was a beloved grandparent, spouse, or a divorce. These are all losses and whether the comforter loved the one who is now gone or not, it does not make the loss to the grieving person any less significant.

–Do not forget the grieving. Their lives have changed forever.

–Do not speak where God has not spoken. Sometimes it is better to be silent.

Marsha Johnson is a writer, speaker and the author of Emerald’s Garden - How to grieve, mourn and recover from loss. See www.marshajohnson.net to sign up for your Grief Recovery e-newsletter.

Marsha Johnson is a writer, speaker and the author of Emerald’s Garden - How to grieve, mourn and recover from loss. See http://www.marshajohnson.net to sign up for your free Grief Recovery e-newsletter.

Wireless Communications - Your Computer Security Tip


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I have repeated countless times never to shop online or give sensitive, personal information from a public computer. Not ever. No matter what security precautions you think you have taken. I stand by that advice.

But what if you are using your own laptop at a wireless hot spot? This is somewhat better, but there are still dangers. Follow these minimum steps:

1. Make sure all your security programs are up to date, including Windows (especially including Vista). You do have a full suite of security programs, right? If not, get them!

At a minimum, you should have an anti-virus program, a firewall, and two anti-spyware programs. A spyware blocker tool is also very useful, since it is always better to prevent a problem, rather than have to deal with it later.

A custom HOSTS file is good to have as well, since it will keep you away from known bad and dangerous sites, and help protect you from spyware. Do a search at a search engine for a good one.

If you have never used one before, it may seem complicated at first glance. It is not. Take the time to read and understand it.

It is a good idea to update and run all your security scans before going to the hot spot, so you know your laptop is clean to begin with.

2. Before giving sensitive info online, check that you are on a site that begins with https://… and you see a gold padlock on the lower right of your screen (upper right in IE7).

The s means secure and encrypted, although this is not foolproof. Criminal sites can be encrypted also, but this is rare.

When you want to go to the site of your bank, PayPal, broker, utility company, credit card company, etc. you must type the address in your browser yourself. Do not simply click on a link in an email; you could end up at a phishing (fake) site. Do not even copy and paste an address from an email. For that matter, email is not secure at all, so never send sensitive information in an email.

3. Disable file sharing, so no one can peek into your shared folders. Click Start, Control Panel, Network Connections. Right-click your connection and click Properties.

Select the Networking tab and clear the checkbox marked File and Printer Sharing for Microsoft Networks. Click OK and restart your computer.

4. Change your passwords every month or two. Use a combination of letters, numbers, and special characters, if you can.

Do not use anything that can easily be guessed, such as your favorite restaurant, nearby college, the name of your dog, your name, birth date, street where you live, etc. Do not use the same password for all your sites.

5. Finally, here are some low-tech but important tips. Watch behind and around you! Before entering IDs or passwords, look around and make sure no one is watching you.

Check your bank and credit card statements carefully, as soon as they arrive. If anything looks wrong or unusual, contact the company immediately.

Restrict the number of people who use your laptop at home and at the office. The more people who use it, the less control you have over it, and the greater the chance that something bad will happen.

Give other users limited or guest accounts. This will restrict their activities on your machine, and prevent them from downloading anything. To set up additional accounts, click Start, Control Panel, User Accounts.

If you often connect at wireless hot spots, print out this article, and slip it into your laptop carrying case. Review it regularly. Happy (and safe!) surfing.

Syd Tash is a noted computer security consultant and author of How to Protect Your Computer Online - A Complete Guide. He has been keeping surfers safe since the last century. Find more popular href="http://mypcsecuritysite.com">free Daily Tips and info right here: => href="http://mypcsecuritysite.com">http://mypcsecuritysite.com

Grief: The Importance of Grief


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Webster’s dictionary defines grief as “the intense emotional suffering caused by a loss”. Loss of any type is a life altering experience. The intense emotional suffering is often too great for words. The reality is that one day we too will wake up. The alarm clock will sound. We will wake, shower and dress for the day’s work. As the day moves along, the phone will ring or the doorbell will sound. The news will be received that the child has died, the cancer has returned or the divorce papers have been filed. As hard as one might try to avoid it and as righteously as one might live, tragedy and loss are unavoidable.

Just as tragedy is inevitable, grieving, the emotional suffering which follows tragedy, is inevitable as well. I learned these lessons of tragedy and loss in the same manner I learned my other lessons - through the school of experience.

As a young child the institutions of family, school and church prepared me for life and the world in which I live. I was taught good manners and the importance of getting along with others. I acquired necessary job skills enabling me to function in the workplace. I also learned about religion and the significant role my faith would hold in my life. However, in all of life’s preparations, I either was not taught or I missed the lesson on how to deal with tragedy and loss. As a matter of fact, I was unaware that, one day, I would need to know how to grieve. It was not until the death of my four-year-old niece, when I was in my thirties, that I decided to educate myself on the subject of grieving.

Of all I have learned in life, my lessons in grieving are some of the most practical and valuable lessons I have acquired. Over the years, my children and I have used the practical aspects of grieving many times over. We have grieved the loss of pets, family, relationships and material possessions. As time passes, I have noticed that I continue to experience heartbreak and disappointment. Therefore, grieving is an important subject with which to be familiar.

The stages of grief listed below, serve as a guideline of what can be expected after experiencing a loss. These steps help to gauge the progress being made on the journey through grief. However, one note of caution - the guidelines are not hard and fast rules. Granger E. Westberg in his book, Good Grief, referring to the stages of grief says, “Remember that every person does not necessarily go through all these stages, nor does a person necessarily go through them in this order. Moreover, it is impossible to differentiate clearly between each of these stages, for a person never moves neatly from one stage to the other”. Therefore, it is important to remember that grieving is as unique to the individual as it is to the loss and no two people grieve in the same way.

During my research, I found the website http://fl.essortment.com helpful. It lists the Eight Stages of Grief as follows:

–Shock

–Emotional Release

–Panic

–Guilt

–Hostility

–Inability to Resume Business - As - Usual Activities

–Reconciliation of Grief

–Hope

Marsha Johnson is a writer, speaker and the author of Emerald’s Garden - How to grieve, mourn and recover from loss. See http://www.marshajohnson.net to sign up for your free Grief Recovery e-newsletter.

Credit Card Debt Is At Record levels


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A recent study done by the credit bureau, Experian, shows U.S. consumers are relying on their credit cards more than ever. According to their latest National Score Index, compiled from a random sampling of 3 million consumers in the credit bureau’s database, 51 percent of the U.S. population has at least two credit cards and 14 percent have 10 or more cards.

The results “tend to suggest, on average, people in the last couple of years are accumulating more debt and are utilizing credit cards more than in the past,” said Pete Bolin, manager of analytics for Experian. The study also shows that consumers are using their credit cards as an “overall financial vehicle” rather than just an emergency tool, he said.

Dave Capra “The Debtonator” says the Experian study seems pretty accurate. “The people that I interview average eight cards,” Capra said. “People seem to be using their available credit to help with their everyday cost of living and are even using one card to pay down others. Credit card debt is quickly becoming a modern day epidemic, threatening our society.”
The study also shows that people aren’t saving, Capra said. “Saving is what you have to do so you don’t turn to your credit cards.”

The Debtonator is a weekly radio show that is returning to Chicago airways in April whose prime focus is Credit and Debt Education. Capra is petitioning Illinois legislators to include courses in debt management and credit cards as required curriculum for graduating high school students and is of the opinion that children as young as grammar school age need to be taught about finances. He is planning to walk his petition 184 miles, from Chicago to Springfield this coming fall and has made it his cause to change financial illiteracy among future credit card holders.

Credit cards can be a very useful tool if you use them responsibly. IF you pay off your balance in full each month. Credit cards can also be used for emergency purposes that can cover a temporary financial shortfall. But make sure you pay off the balance as quickly as possible to avoid escalating interest charges. Using credit cards in a disciplined fashion is the key.

According to the Federal Reserve, U.S. credit-card debt totaled $876.2 billion as of December2006.
The figures show that the consumer debt burden continues to grow, and credit cards represent a lot of that additional debt. Credit card debt represents a very high cost debt for many households. Interest rates are in the double digits with fees and punitive interest rates lurking should you slip up. Consumers need to be as disciplined about using their credit cards and paying their bills on time as they are with their mortgages or car payments. If you miss a payment or two on your credit card, exceed your limit or even miss a payment with another creditor, your interest rate can climb as high as 27 or 28 percent, or even higher.

Bolin, with Experian, says that to keep your credit history healthy, you need to pay your bills on time, try to keep your debt to income ratio as low as possible and apply for credit only when you need it.

Dave Capra is author of “Your Guide to Perfect Credit” and his radio show “The Debtonator” can be heard in Chicago on WJJG-AM 1530 every Saturday starting in mid April.

He is a Debt Relief Consultant for Franklin Debt Relief and can be reached at dcapra@franklindebtrelief.com or call 312.674.4861.

For more information about Franklin Debt Relief, visit them online at www.franklindebtrelief.com

Dave Capra “The Debtonator” is author of “Your Guide To Perfect Credit”, a radio show host, columnist and certified debt consultant. For information contact The Debtonator at 312.674.4861 or email dcapra@franklindebtrelief.com

http://www.franklindebtrelief.com

How To Choose The Right Shingle For Your House


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Differences between Fiberglass and Organic Asphalt Shingles

The most popular choice in roofing material is the asphalt shingles. They are very popular because of many reasons. According to the research carried out, asphalt shingles are used by 75% of house owners in America. These shingles are so very popular because they are available in various price ranges and are also available in variety of sizes. The warranty period is real extended. It is 20-40 years!

Asphalt roofing shingles are available in various types. One of them is the fiberglass based, mat based roof shingles and the other type is the organic based, mat based shingles.

Fiberglass shingles

Fiber glass shingles are light weight. They appear thinner too. It is so because their backing has been made from fiberglass which is a light and thin martial. A typical asphalt shingle bundle can weigh anything between 70 to 140lbs. There are usually 3 bundles of shingles for each square, i.e. 100 sq feet of each square. Thus the lightweight fiberglass shingles are easier for the roofer to carry up the ladder. Another added benefit is that they are more fire resistant and the warranty offered is also for a longer period as compared to organic shingles.

Organic shingles

The organic based, mat based shingles are very heavy and their finish is not as smooth as fiber based shingles. The mat of the organic based shingles is made from asphalt and felt paper. They become heavier because in a fiber glass shingle, less asphalt is used whereas in organic shingles more asphalt is used, and asphalt makes them heavy. On the other hand organic based shingles are more flexible but they are more water absorbing in nature and thus have a tendency to wrap after a certain period. Because of these reasons, fiberglass shingles are more popular in the central and southern parts of the USA. The organic shingles are more popular in the northern part of the USA.

If you are using organic shingles for your home then you must take the precaution that they comply with the ASTM D 3452 standards and also notice that they comply with ASTM D 225 standards too. It is becoming increasingly mandatory by municipalities that the shingles meet these compliances. Hence you should read the label on the shingles and check that these standards are met with. The shingles, both fiberglass and organic can be anywhere in the price range of $25 and $ 80 per square.

Most commonly shingles these days are the 3D shingles. They have been prevalent since quite a long time but there is a growing trend for architectural shingles too. The home owners are moving towards these shingles because although the architectural shingles are a little expensive, they are easy to install and you don’t need much maintenance either. The lines appear straight and neat. Thus these shingles have a longer warranty period too.

On the other hand great care is to be taken by the roofer when he is installing 3D shingles to see that they are installed in straight lines. It is much easier to install architectural shingles. They are so designed that they give an effect of shadows and designs, so slight imperfection in laying down the design is not visible. They cost more than the 3D shingles but they make up the increased cost in low installation cost.

Hence you must select the proper shingles for your house with utmost care. If they are not properly installed they can cause sever water damage and subsequent high repairing and maintaining costs.

As Long Island, LI Roofing Contractors, and Northern Virginia Roofing contractors we take great pride in maintaining customer satisfaction for all types of new roof installation and roof repair work for residential and commercial roofing accounts.

Manhattan Clam Chowder Recipe

The name “Manhattan” comes to us from the word manna-hata, which means “island of many hills” in the language of the Lenape Native Americans. The island was purchased in 1626 from the Lenape by Peter Minuit, the third director of New Netherland, the territory discovered by the Dutch East India Company. The island was acquired for 60 guilders worth of trade goods, which has historically been translated to about $24, but is said to be about the equivalent of $500-$700 in today’s United States currency.

In the late 1800’s Manhattan clam chowder was called “Coney Island clam chowder” and sometimes”Fulton Fish Market clam chowder” (named after the Fulton Fish Market established in New York in 1822). The name “Manhattan clam chowder” became popular in the early 1900’s. In contrast with New England clam chowder, Manhattan clam chowder is characterized by a transparent broth of a reddish color from one of its most important ingredients: tomatoes!

Here is a delicious recipe for Manhattan clam chowder that I have developed:

Ingredients:

4 6.5 oz. cans minced clams in clam juice

1 medium onion

2 cloves minced garlic

4 medium spuds, peeled and diced

2 medium carrots, chopped

3 large stalks celery, chopped

8 slices thick cut bacon, diced

1 10.75 oz. can condensed tomato soup

2 11.5 oz. cans V-8® vegetable juice

3 14.5 oz. cans diced tomatoes

1.5 tsp. dried thyme

2 tbsp. dried parsley flakes

1 bay leaf

1 tsp. Lawry’s® seasoned pepper (or ground black pepper)

Instructions:

Fry bacon in an 8 quart kettle. Add the fresh veggies and lightly saute in the bacon grease for about 10 minutes. Add the canned items (except for clams) and simmer for about 3 hours. Add the clams, including the clam juice, and simmer for ½ hour or until ready to eat. Serves 10 to 14. Just freeze the leftovers and have again!

I love New York!

Copyright © 2007 Lee Griffith. All rights reserved.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Lee Griffith, a.k.a. “Griff” is the author of several blogs. Griff describes himself as a “former kitchen klutz” who now has a passion for cooking and developing great recipes. Griff would like to send you a FREE E-BOOK with 32 great chili recipes, along with a free recipe every week via email. To receive, simply click on http://optin2.griffsrecipes.com Check out “Griff’s Recipe Report” at http://GriffsRecipeReport.com

Can You Really Be ‘Friends With Benefits’


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I just received this letter from a reader:

I had physical relationship with a guy a few months ago, and we both agreed that it’s just ‘physical,’ but now I have strong feelings about him spiritually; I don’t know how to tell him because he seems to avoid me sometimes, and he may move to another state in a few months. I am in a terrible situation now and suffering. I would appreciate it if you can give me some suggestions. Thank you very much.

Here’s my answer:

This is a great question because so many people have been in your position. You’re definitely not alone! The best advice I can give you is to let things lie. If the guy is avoiding you, avoid him.

Don’t call him, ‘bump into’ him, email him, or try to contact him in any way. I know this is painful, but contacting him will only push him farther away at this point. You cannot make somebody love
you, despite what we’ve heard in pop songs. Furthermore, explore the possibility that you only developed feelings for this guy because you had a physical relationship with him. Are you really hooked on him, or on something else?

Whatever you do, do not be ‘physical’ with him again, no matter how tempting that may be (and I know it’s tempting). Your best bet is to push all thoughts of him out of him out of your mind. Do not mentally relive your fun times together.

Absence will either make his heart grow fonder, or he’ll keep doing what he was doing, which was moving on. Whatever happens, you’ll have kept your dignity. If he doesn’t come back to you for more
than a physical relationship, keep your head up and hold out for a guy who’ll love you the way you deserve to be loved.

I know it’s not easy, but it definitely is worth it.

This reader has clearly fallen into the ‘friends with benefits’ trap. It’s liberating to think that we can enjoy physical relationships without getting emotionally involved, but unfortunately for too many women (and for a lot of men), this just isn’t true. Somebody gets hurt.

It’s gut-wrenching to fall in love with some guy you fooled around with, only to find out that he has no interest in changing the original terms of the relationship, or worse, to run into him with another woman he’s clearly more passionate about.

If you’re in this situation, please consider the advice I gave this reader. I have been there. I did all sorts of dopey and humiliating things to get the guy’s attention, and all I ended up doing was looking (and feeling) pathetic.

There’s something powerful about letting go. Yes, it hurts at first, but eventually you feel stronger. You start to feel good about yourself. Sometimes the guy comes back around for something ‘physical,’ and it feels just gorgeous to reject him. You’re back in the driver’s seat.

You run into him several years later, and he’s rounder-shouldered, balder, and sneezing uncontrollably from allergies. You give him a polite kiss and introduce him to your successful, loving, loyal, fun,
husband, and stride away feeling like a million bucks. (You see, I’ve been there, too!)

Let your friend-with-benefits do what he’s going to do, whether it’s to return your feelings, or to move out of state. Ride it out.
You’ll be happier in the long run.

Terry MacDonald is the happily married author of “How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams.” Sign up for free dating tips at http://www.marrysmart.com Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com

Leadership Matters - Hiring - Winning At The Game


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Hiring is like a game of strategy. If you don’t play this game well, with the right strategy, you might as well be rolling dice or spinning a roulette wheel. The ball goes just round and round. . .

Peter Cappelli, a professor of management at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, said once that most companies are so bad at finding the right person for a job that they have no idea whether their hiring process is even effective.

A study performed at Michigan State said that with all positions, from entry level to chairman, the typical employment interview is in the neighborhood of between seven and eleven percent more accurate than flipping a coin.

Upping Your Level of Strategy at the Game

O.K., so most of us don’t want to trust the hiring of talent in the organization if it is just a hair better than a coin flip, but that is what is happening in many companies. For example, just because a person was a good systems analyst or building projects manager, doesn’t mean that he or she understands the hiring process.

Also, just because someone invented Post It notes or a new way to wire your computers, doesn’t mean that he or she has the right skills for your job opening.

Yet, with today’s hyper growth demands in the face of an increasingly tight market for skilled employees, it is hard to find a balance between getting in the hiring game quickly, regardless of strategy, and developing a process that will increase your chances of winning highly qualified talent.

So how do you answer the burning hiring needs of an organization in a world that demands both “fast” and “right”?

Getting Your Team Prepared with Game-Winning Strategy

Some employers have hiring schemes that are formal, while other organizations hire informally. Regardless of which approach that your managers and team leaders take, they need to be trained on the following game winning strategies:

Defining what you’re looking for through the position description, job competencies and questioning strategies
Planning the interview through sourcing, resume screening, the interview team and identifying the great reasons to work at your organization
Conducting the interview in an appropriate climate and being able to respond to challenging interviewee questions
Making the selection using a set of decision- making guidelines and evaluating and communicating with candidates
Training Can Impact your Strategy

Giving your managers the understanding and the tools they need to hire right the first time is truly the only way to approach hiring. Otherwise, your ability for the ball to land on the winning number or to select the right people is hit or miss. If you are lucky you’ll win or select the right person most of the time, but what if you’re not lucky? Isn’t it better to have the right strategy? That strategy has to include clear, well- defined processes that are justified.

When you have a candidate who turns out to be a productive, happy and positive employee, you’ve won. Hiring Winning Talent (HWT) is the program that provides your managers with the tools needed to master the art of identifying and winning new employees who will perform in the top 20%.

Quote for the Week

If you hire mediocre people, they will hire mediocre people. - Tom Murphy, American Businessman

Dave Erdman joined Vital Learning in July of 2003, to begin a revitalization of a company that had long been a leader in Leadership, Sales, Service and Productivity training.

Prior to joining Vital Learning, Dave was President of BT.Novations (1998 to 2003) a member of the Provant family of training and development organizations.

Dave is an experienced executive in the Training and Development field having led several organizations through major growth and strategic transitions. Organizations Dave has worked with include; VP of Product Development for Deltak, Inc. (1981 to 1985), President/CEO of Kaset International (1986 to 1994), President of Learning International (1994 to 1997), and President of Conceptual Systems (1997 to 1998).

Prior to 1981, Dave enjoyed a successful career in Public Television as an award-winning Producer/Director and Production Manager. He has produced and directed programs for PBS and HBO. Dave has a Bach

Grief - The 8 Stages Of Grief


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The Stages of Dealing with Grief states, “Two simple definitions of grief are

1) the conflicting feelings by the end or change in a familiar pattern or behavior, and

2) a normal, natural and painful emotional reaction to loss.”

When lives are altered, be it good or bad, conflicts arise from the change and a period of adjustment follows. When it comes to adjusting to any type of loss, grieving is a process which requires time.

In various cultures it is traditional and customary to take many days off work after the loss of a loved one or other traumatic event. Grieving people are encouraged and even required to grieve losses over an extended amount of time. Most Americans take only the afternoon off, perhaps a weekend. In the rush to restore life back to normal, the grieving process, which is necessary for a healthy recovery from loss, is often overlooked.

Understanding the Stages of Grief provides reassurance that the wide ranges of emotions being experienced are common. I have summarized the stages as follows:

1.-Shock. Shock can last a few minutes to a few days. Often those who have experienced the death of a loved one make funeral arrangements and phone calls as if nothing traumatic has happened. This is a typical reaction to tragedy of any kind. Shock is the body’s way of physically functioning those first few hours, or even days, after tragedy.

2.-Emotional release. More often than not, when the initial shock wears off the emotions begin to take over. This most generally happens about the time reality sets in confirming the enormity of the loss. A flood of emotions might occur after the funeral or the signing of the divorce papers. It is important to remember that emotions are not confined to tears alone. Experiencing other emotions, such as anger or guilt, is normal as well.

3.-Panic. The feeling of panic is common when a loved one dies, a job is lost or a marriage ends. Sometimes physical symptoms accompany panic such as headaches and upset stomachs. These are physical symptoms of distress. It is not uncommon to forget things and be unable to concentrate on everyday tasks. The stage of panic can come and go and often times may be repeated throughout the grieving process. As the grieving process progresses the feelings of alarm will occur in decreasing intensity.

4.-Guilt is often a result of questioning if something more could have been done to save the marriage, the job or the life. It is expected to question if loss could have been avoided. Feelings of guilt are normal. However, be careful to not live too long in the stage of guilt. At some point, in order to move through to recovery, the guilt must be released.

5.-Hostility. Some individuals feel angry and resentful over a loss. Perhaps there were circumstances that quite possibly could have prevented the death, accident or divorce. If this is so, feelings of hostility are normal as well. Avoid living too long in the grieving stage of hostility. Hostility can easily turn to bitterness.

6.-Inability to Resume Business-As-Usual Activities. It takes time to return to the daily routine after tragedy. Remember that grieving is a journey, not a pit stop. Tragedy changes lives forever and alters daily routines. Although the desire is to resume life as soon as possible, it is important to allow the grief process to run its painful course. And though it is wise to stick to normal routines it also is wise to be flexible. In time, the ability to remember things and resume normal and regular activities will return. In the interim, keeping a notepad, pen and calendar nearby to keep track of important dates and appointments will help ease the burden through this challenging phase.

7.-Reconciliation of Grief. At some point in the grief process the decision must be made to come to terms with the fact that the loved one is gone and that life has changed. The span of time between the moments of intense grief will lengthen. As this happens grief will be reconciled. As grief is reconciled, the loss will be dealt with and a balance to life will be restored.

8.-Hope. Eventually, the mind and the body come to terms with the loss. Though the grieving process continues the moments are not as intense as they once were. Better yet, as grief is reconciled new things begin to happen. At this stage, life begins to become joyful again. Life begins to look hopeful. The future, once dreaded, is now anticipated.

Marsha Johnson is a writer, speaker and the author of Emerald’s Garden - How to grieve, mourn and recover from loss. See http://www.marshajohnson.net to sign up for your free Grief Recovery e-newsletter.