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There are few things in life that give us as much satisfaction as when we are loved and appreciated. When we know that we are important to someone else and that we are on their minds, we have a deep sense of worth and purpose.

Sadly, there is an increasing number of people in society who never enjoy being the object of another’s attention or interest. For one reason or another they live unto themselves. They may be shy or self-conscious, or they may have developed a distrusting spirit for people. Whatever the reason, aside from work and shopping, they have become virtual hermits in society.

Such circumstances do not eliminate the basic need we all have to feel that we are loved and needed. Whether our loner status is the result of being shunned by society or a self-imposed moratorium toward gregarious behavior, the need to feel important remains and there needs to be an accommodation of this need in our lives.

Enter the beloved pet. For those who cannot or will not develop human bonds, there is the alternative of pet friendship. Of course, keeping a pet is something anyone can enjoy. Great relationships with pets are enjoyed by everyone. Still, somehow for those who are lonely for human companionship, it seems they cling more closely to their pets than those of us who balance our lives with both human and animal friends. The pet is all they have. All of their social need is vested in their relationship with that pet.

In all probability, we all know someone like this. To some they may seem odd, almost anti-social. However, it is nothing more than someone trying to fill the basic desire they have for friendship or companionship. No doubt they would prefer to also have human relationships, but again, for whatever reasons, this just is not likely.

A young lady who worked for me while I was on active duty is a good example of this. She was relatively attractive and a nice person. She was a hard worker and did a good job. She was well-liked and friendly. However, she just could not seem to forge a relationship with others. She did not date and she did not have friends outside of work.

She funneled her need for companionship into her pets. She kept cats. In fact, she had nine of them. Her whole life apart from work centered on her animal friends. Her time and money was spent making their lives comfortable. In turn, they made her feel that she was needed and appreciated.

Although one of my majors was Psychology, I am not a licensed practitioner and I do not suppose to have all the answers to anti-social behavior. Still, common sense and experience tells me that people who have difficulty relating to people seldom will change their outlook without professional guidance.

For these people and really for the rest of us too, those animals we label “pets” are God-sends. Much has been written about the courageous and valor of these wonderful creatures who have graced us by walking alongside us through history. There are stories of heroism and bravery, of perseverance and strength. We immortalize our pets with statues and memorials and capture their contributions in song and literature.

They are marvelous creatures at those celebrated levels, but they also fill the gaps and voids in uncelebrated ways. They companion the unwanted. They befriend those that no one else wants. They are everywhere, silently doing their jobs, making those who feel unloved, loved and adding importance to their lives.

The author is a retired Coast Guard Officer with over 32 years of service. He is also a Baptist Preacher and Bible Teacher. He helps those grieving the loss of a pet to understand the Biblical evidence that proves they live on. His most popular book, “Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates” delivers hope and comfort to the reader in a very gentle, yet convincing way. Visit at http://www.coldnosesbook.com for more information or write to petgate@aol.com.

In a recent poll, I discovered that 100% of those who voted stated that the first thing they did when they went online was to check their email.

There were also some comments.

**********

“yes - it’s usually the first thing that I do.”

“Yes, email is the first thing I check when I get on my computer.

Every time!!! I have a ‘thing’ about mail. I’m not able to drive past my snail mailbox either! I pick up snail mail and then check my email!!”

“and then it’s “which email account do I check first?”

“Of course, because I have to look for your mail! :)”

**********

Of all the comments received however, Mitch had the best since he shared the secret of how your email should be read.

**********

“I check it, skim it actually, but only for a message from someone who may be on my list. Everything else is put on hold until I finish my work pertaining to my sites, etc.

Trying to read all that mail is a huge time waster. I think it’s why many folks never make it on-line. They get distracted joining one new thing after another and never have the time to implement any of it. They kill their own success. Any mail after a couple of days should be deleted. It takes away any attempt to ‘catch up’ which isn’t going to happen.

There is no doubt, another one covering the same thing that just came in.”
Mitch

**********

Now I want you to read the last comment again and this time pay close attention to the second paragraph because Mitch is right on target.

Breaking the habit of reading your email first is hard since we adopt the misconception at a very early age that we must check our mail immediately or we’ll miss out on something important. As a child we ran to our parent’s mailbox to get the mail in the hope that someone had sent us something.

As adults, however, you know that your mail consists of bills, advertising and occasionally a personal card or letter. You learn to collect it, sort it and fill it accordingly.

Then you go online, get an email account and revert back to your child like dream that someone is going to send you something good and you must read everything immediately. This is especially true when you get your first email account and not much email.

When you’re only getting 10 or fewer emails a day it doesn’t take much time to read them all and it may even give you some pleasure knowing that at least 10 people know your email address and want to send you something.

But soon hundreds of people know your email address and all of them want to send you something. Some of them may even be sending you multiple emails every day. Suddenly you realize that your inbox is filling up and you need to keep it cleaned out. Nobody wants a cluttered inbox!

At this point it’s time to apply your snail mail method of checking and filing your mail to your email inbox. Like Mitch, you need to see if there’s an email from a subscriber or a customer that requires an immediate response and then leave the rest of them alone until you’ve finished your assigned business task for the day.

To help you sort and file your email you may want to set up some folders and have your email sorted automatically. Most email readers allow you to create sub-folders and will automatically sort your incoming email.

If possible, you should create a folder just for your subscribers, customers, affiliates and jv partners. This will help you identify the email that requires an immediate response.

You may want to create 1 or more folders for some ezine mailings since you always want to read them. Others may be routed to a generic type of “read when there’s time” folder since these senders only send “good stuff” occasionally.

As for the rest of your email, these can wait until you “really” have nothing else to do since you’re probably just going to delete them anyway.

Once your email is sorted you must learn to only read the “really important” ones at the beginning of your work day. The “really important” ones are those from your subscribers, customers, affiliates and joint venture partners because they are the ones helping you with your business.

As for the rest of your email, read them according to the priority you have given the folder where it’s been filed and only after you have finished your planned task.

After a few days you may find that you’re getting a large backlog of email in some of your folders and unsorted email. Then, again at the end of your work day, you should spend a couple of minutes to do some massive deleting since you will never have the time to read it all. Sure you can skim the headlines and check some of it. If you find something good then keep it but I am betting that 99.99% of it will go straight to the trash.

Here are a couple of questions to help emphasize how important it is to not read all your email when you first logon.

1. When are you the most productive, at the beginning of your workday, the middle of your workday or at the end of your workday?

2. Of all the email you check when you first logon, how much of it was worth reading and how much went straight to the trash after you’d wasted your time checking it out?

3. How hard is it for you to stop reading your email before you’ve looked at all of them?

Many find that reading email is like an addiction because once they have read one they want to read another and then another and then another until there are none left.

So as much as I hate to say it, if reading your email is the first thing you do when you go online, stop!

Stop wasting your most productive time with the mindless activity of reading all your email and undermining yourself and your business.

——–

Susan Carroll owner of http://www.friendswhocare.us has formed a global community of online business people through her weekly newsletter.

Susan recently created a free advertising site to help those doing internet marketing. It’s open to everyone at: http://www.friendswhocare.us/freeadvertising

You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.

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Too many of us are reluctant to really engage our clients. Fearful that clients are demanding, needy, mercurial, edgy and under enough management pressure that they could snap at any moment we forget that they actually hired us, use our products and services and generally have ideas about what’s good, bad or ugly.

My Granny always said, “If you don’t ask you don’t get.” So now you are officially on notice — ask your clients what they think and how you can do better. You’ll be surprised at what brand loyalists and advocates the people who break your balls each day actually can be.

After the initial sale, which often requires the imprimatur of an economic buyer, the day-to-day users and technical buyers drive the bus. Working with you they determine the need for add-ons and upsells much more than any salesperson ever will. In many cases your client power users know your product or your system as well or better than you do. Its an insight and a perspective you are not ignore because they generally can cue you about the next product or service needed and can objectively see, beyond your internal politics, who should do what to whom.

Clients also care more than you think. Once they are working with you happily, they are invested in your success since your failure means they’ll have to explain, change, scramble and adjust; things everyone hates to do. Ask them how they’d position, message or sell your product or service. Ask them how they made the buying decision. Ask them how they do on-going competitive assessments and evaluations. Ask them if the value you think you are providing is the value they are receiving. Sometimes this alternate perspective is enough to rock your world.

Then ask them if they’d like to talk with other clients and peers. Almost every client is dying to know how other non-competitive buyers are using your stuff. There’s a ton of practical things your clients can learn from each other and in some cases your clients sell your product or service sets to each other faster and easier than you can because they share common interests, needs and processes.

So don’t be bashful or reticent with your clients. Ask them early and often. Don’t be thin-skinned or defensive. They are eager to tell you.

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As the author of several pet loss books, I frequently receive letters and e-mail from people thanking me for my work. Along with their kind and generous words, people often give me kudos that I do not deserve. Somehow people feel the need to thank me for helping animals. The truth is I don’t do as much for our animal friends as people imagine. I do help support scores of shelters by providing books for their fundraisers, making financial donations and helping out in any other way that I am asked to, but my work, my goal is to help the people that help animals.

Dogs and cats do not read my books. People do; and many of them have a sad story to share. In the past decade I have received no less than 5,000 such stories. It is heart-wrenching to read of their losses and the grief they feel. I am so thankful to be able to offer soothing words and advice and to correspond with them for as long as they feel they need my assistance.

They are not the only ones to benefit from our communication however. I have acquired a wealth of knowledge from them; in particular on the dangers that face our pets and how to avoid exposing them to those dangers. Most of what I have learned is common sense, but it would surprise you to know how many people are born without that commodity. I won’t go into the sad details, but generally speaking, many people lose their beloved best friends through circumstances that just did not have to be. From swimming pools to open gates, to exposure to the elements, most “accidents”, and therefore grief, can be avoided.

I have been affectionately labeled a “worry wart” by those who know me simply because I try to think ahead and imagine what dangers there might be for my pets when I am away from them. Admittedly, I do sometimes go a little overboard. For instance, when we are traveling and cannot take our pets with us, we have someone stay with them in our home rather than boarding them at a kennel. It is more expensive, but it comforts me to know that they are in a safe environment that I created for them.

If that is not bad enough, I hand the person staying in our home a small book of rules and information about the animals. I know that no one reads them, but it eases my concern to know the information is available to them should they need it. To my shame, there is still more to my confession. I also call my pet’s babysitter several times each day to ensure my buddies are okay.

I suppose the label of worry wart fits, so I will wear it proudly. I would rather look silly erring on the side of safety than to bury my head in my hands in grief for having overlooked a potential danger

“Oversight” is the word I want to emphasize. It is the one common denominator that I find present in each sad story that is shared with me. When tragedy comes the catalyst is usually someone not perceiving that a danger existed. I am not blaming anyone. Indeed, there is no blame to assign. I am merely pointing out that sometimes people are not aware that certain conditions or situations might present a danger to their pets.

Let me use myself as an example. I have three dogs, all rescued from shelters. Two of them sometimes have “discussions” because the smaller of the two is dominant and pushes the larger one (twice her size) around. I was aware that there was some occasional squaring off, but these always amounted to nothing more than grumbling at each other with a low growl and icy stare. They usually got along splendidly, and on those rare occasions where they had a small confrontation over a rawhide or toy, it usually was settled by the dominant one having her way.

Returning home one day from shopping, we were greeted by a frantic neighbor who told us that these two dogs had gotten into a real scrap while we were gone. Fortunately, we had made a way for the dogs to go outside into the fenced yard whenever nature calls and the incident took place in the yard. Had it happened in the house, it is doubtful my neighbor would have been aware of it and the story might have ended tragically different than it did.

He told us that he immediately ran over to the fence and yelled for them to stop, but they would not listen. He ultimately had to jump the fence and separate them because he was sure that the larger dog was going to kill the smaller one if they remained together. My initial thought was that he was exaggerating a bit, but when I saw the gashes and cuts on the bloodied smaller dog, I knew there was a real problem.

As a consequence of that episode, our home is now divided in our absence, as is the yard. The two problem “children” have separate doors that they can use to access and exit the yard. They can still be together, but they are divided by a fence. That doesn’t stop the neighbor’s dog from jumping over into either side of the yard (which we are still working on), but it keeps my two rascals from mixing it up.

My point is that while we need to guard against dangers, there is a limit to what we can anticipate and guard against. Sometimes even worry warts miss things. Still, when we accept the responsibility of caring for an animal, we need to be vigilant and proactive in their care and safety. There are just so many potential dangers. With a little thought and perhaps a little study on the internet, we can gain critical knowledge that we can easily apply to our pet’s environment to ensure their safety.

For instance, how many of us give tennis balls to our dogs? They are fine for smaller dogs, but pose a real choke hazard to larger dogs. Tennis balls are a disaster waiting to happen, one that has happened far too many times. Swimming pools are another problem. Fortunately for me, my dogs detest the water and won’t go near it. Most dogs enjoy the water, however, and an exposed swimming pool is an open invitation to fun.

While you are at home and they are swimming with you, there is little danger. When you are gone however, if they purposely or accidentally enter the pool, they often cannot find their way out, if indeed there is one. You may not realize that when you are with them, YOU are their way out of the pool. When you are gone, the whole dynamic changes.

I have had so many readers share their pool tragedies with me, that I felt compelled to find a solution and make it available to pet owners on my website. I found a company who offers a flotation device that allows dogs of any size to exit pools without assistance. I feel that this is such an important product that I advertise it on my website without charge. I do not make any profit from sales of this product. The only benefit to me is the satisfaction of knowing that another tragedy will be avoided when someone purchases it and uses it.

There are so many dangers, too many to mention here. So please do some research and educate yourself. It is important that we be vigilant. Those trusting faces depend upon us to look out for them. If there is a way for our cats and dogs (and other animals) to get themselves into trouble, they will find it. We need to find it first and eliminate it as a threat.

Be a worry wart. It will pay big dividends.

The author is a retired Coast Guard Officer with over 32 years of service. He is also a Baptist Preacher and Bible Teacher. He helps those grieving the loss of a pet to understand the Biblical evidence that proves they live on. His most popular book, “Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates” delivers hope and comfort to the reader in a very gentle, yet convincing way. Visit at http://www.coldnosesbook.com for more information or write to

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Most people think that bisexuality is a state of confusion, that it’s a straight person on his or her way to being gay or vice versa. The truth is, bisexuality is a valid sexual orientation on its own.

Bisexuality is different from bi-curiosity. Bi-curious people are usually heterosexuals who are interested in “experimentation” with homosexuality. They are merely looking to try it and nothing more. Although some bi-curious people do end up bisexual, bi-curiosity doesn’t exactly equate to bisexuality. There are also bi-permissive people. These people are generally heterosexual, but they claim to be open to pursuing a relationship with members of the same-sex.

Unlike homosexuality, bisexuality doesn’t seem so disreputable in the eyes of society. There are even ancient cultures wherein bisexuality was the norm, and it wasn’t seen as a problem as long as they eventually married someone of the opposite sex. Although bisexuality doesn’t seem so disreputable in the eyes of most heterosexuals, the gay and lesbian community sees it differently. Most (not all) gays and lesbians view bisexuality as a stage of indecision. Sometimes, they even see bisexuals as people who are in denial of their own homosexuality. In fact, there’s a joke that goes “Bi now, gay later.” Even if some bisexuals do end up being homosexual, this isn’t a common occurrence.

Usually, both homosexuals and heterosexuals have problems going out with bisexuals. They seem to fear that if they date a bisexual, they will be abandoned when the bisexual “switches sides”. Because of prevalent biphobia, most bisexuals have problems or issues when dating. However, because of the invention of the internet, bisexuals can go to online dating sites to find other bisexuals or people who wouldn’t mind dating bisexuals.

According to Alfred Kinsey, a famous researcher on human sexual behavior, sexuality isn’t exclusively homosexual or heterosexual. Kinsey said the sexuality was actually a continuum between these two extremes, and that it is only the human mind that labels human sexuality so rigidly. Most bisexuals definitely agree with this philosophy, saying that they fall in love with the person and not the gender.

Because of the studies of Kinsey and other researchers, there are usually two theories on the subject of bisexuality. Some people believe that there’s no such thing as bisexuality, while others believe that everyone is bisexual in one way or another. Again, this is seen mostly in Alfred Kinsey’s theroy of a “continuum” on which he created the following scale:

Rating Description
0 Exclusively heterosexual experience
1 Predominantly heterosexual experience, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual experience, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual experience
4 Predominantly homosexual experience, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual experience, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual experience

Usually, bisexuals are said to be within the range of 2 - 4 rating on the Kinsey scale. A stricter definition would be that they belong to the 3rd rating.

Because of the social stigma that bisexuals face, they are hardly represented well in the media. However, there are several groups in which bisexuals can gain support such as The Bisexual Foundation.

Brian McDonald, 34 from Kansas is a featured writer at DrDating.com. Visit DrDating.com for sex advice and tips. Further educational reading on sexual positions from DrDating

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Facebook, MySpace, Xanga, Friendster, Flickr and other social networks are creating a generation of self-branding experts who will see, hear and filter messages differently than ever before.

Millions of young people are creating, maintaining and manipulating their personal brands everyday online. They decide which images to show, which friends to feature, which notes to post, which people to exclude and shape the ways others perceive them. In a perpetual digital high school environment where clicks rule and people are conscious of how, when and why they are sorted into segments (jocks, nerds, freaks, sorority girls), managing and protecting your brand becomes a daily task like brushing your teeth or checking your e-mail.

People with profiles on social networks also understand that they are routinely being scrutinized and evaluated as potential friends, dates, interns, employees, audience members or sales prospects. So they consciously present themselves in ways that influence which things they are sorted into and which they are sorted out of. On top of their usual online moxie, profile managers are looking shape how they are sorted, filtered and segmented. They are simultaneously selling and persuading while they evade and escape those seeking to sell them. Add this hands-on brand management experience to the existing well-developed opt-in mentality and you are looking at a generation extremely marketing savvy civilians able to filter and discriminate between marketing messages with ease across multiple channels.

Talking to the seasoned, skeptical Facebook crowd requires a marketing agility and an understanding of segmentation that is exponentially richer than the expectations we have today. Putting up one video on YouTube will probably not appeal to a mass audience. In fact, before you place anything on these networks you need to forecast who will rally to it and who will reject it. Establishing a product or brand driven group will empower some segments and repulse others.

If you are lucky enough to capture the imagination of online activists, you could have one friend send your message to 500 others. The prospect of a low-cost, highly targeted viral effect will bring many consumer brands into this space. Yet the number of misses will surely exceed the number of hits.

The number and variety of segments and messages we prepare for in a typical campaign must dramatically increase because a brand has to consider its voice, tone and manner as it addresses many discrete and discriminating customer segments. Brands have to think harder, get closer to their customers and respect the conventions and sensibilities of each network. MySpace makes micro-targeting of messages and media a mandate.

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Two concepts that are commonly confused when it comes to search engine optimization are page rank and link popularity. Page rank focuses only on the quantity and popularity of your links in the search engines. Link popularity however refers to the “quality” of your links. These are not interchangeable turns as Pagerank is actually a term that is part of the definition of Link Popularity.

All of the major search engines’ algorithms do assess link popularity in one way or another. The two main types of links that seem best to boost your link popularity are links form relevant categories in big Internet directories and links from similar sites to your own that are focused on the same keyword phrases that your site is. These sites are considered to be high quality sites.

If you want to avoid sabotaging yourself then stay away from links that the search engines might consider to be low quality such as Free For All Sites. You are particularly cautioned against using one of those “Link to 1000 Targeted Sites for Free” type programs as they will only serve to lower your link popularity in the eyes of the search engine. Although they might increase your page rank temporarily (maybe for just a few days) this type of link farming might actually completely sabotage your link popularity. It’s just not worth it. Never do anything to sacrifice your link popularity which is much more crucial to your website’s overall success.

Usually there is no need to sweat over you link popularity if you have not done anything that the search engines may not like such as hire a company that specializes in link farming to enhance your SEO. Offering a quality product or service at a reasonable cost is usually the best way to get other quality sites to link to you.

Anthony Gregory is a SEO and Website Marketer. He can be contacted at: Sales (at) Brilliantseo.com

Church’s Slipper
Car Insurance
Book Printing

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Project management excellence goes beyond producing project charters, detailed schedules and colourful status reports. Today’s project managers must acquire the skills necessary to combat a myriad of modern challenges. Factors such as downsizing, merger mania, restricted finances, an accelerated business pace, a multidisciplinary world, rising competition and seemingly ceaseless change, acting singly and in concert, demand much more.

Learning to manage time, costs, quality, scope, risks and other traditional practices is a vital foundation of good project management.. However, to achieve excellence and smoother-sailing successes, there’s a dozen other competencies you need:

1. Negotiation - Negotiation is a vital part of every project manager’s existence … often moment by moment. Whether you’re dealing with suppliers, managing employees or contractors, you’re negotiating. The quality and success of your project can be directly affected by your ability (or inability) to negotiate.

2. Marketing - Project marketing methods sustain your project against competing against swarms of other initiatives that jostle for higher priorities, management’s attention and valuable resources.

3. Selling - Project managers reluctant to sell may soon find their projects failing. You can never stop selling yourself and your project.

4. Customer Service - Without customers, we’d all be hanging a “for sale” sign on our careers. With good customer service, project managers keep customers happy, satisfied and loyal.

5. Boss Management - Wise project managers engage good boss management strategies. Boss support, guidance, mentoring and influence will be your reward. After all, bosses are human beings with special roles and authority, as well as the requisite levels of human weaknesses, problems and pressures.

6. Nurturing Staff - Hiring the perfect person is not a job that ends with a handshake or a signature on the dotted line. The selection represents but the first step in nurturing your staff.

7. Accounting - Your project inevitably entangles itself with accounting. It needs to account for consuming financial, staff and equipment resources while understanding how project results contribute to the interrelated components of financial statements such as bottom-line profits, revenue generation, expense reduction and increased cash flows.

8. Ethics - Ethical dilemmas are often most severe in projects on tight time and money budgets. Yet, properly applied, ethics fuel and support the vital element of trust with team members, clients, suppliers and other stakeholders.

9. Culture - Organizational culture consists of shared beliefs and values which produce norms for your team’s behaviour. You are responsible for your project’s culture. You need to understand the nature of that culture, how it is created, and how it can be changed to fuel high performance.

10. Stress Management - Shouldering the pressures of entrepreneurial fast-paced initiatives can send stress levels to dangerous heights. High blood pressure, insomnia and chronic fatigue insidiously affect project managers and staff. Although there is no “magic bullet” for every situation, learning to manage stress is the answer.

11. Innovation - Creativity and innovation are magic wands. They endow projects with enhanced performance and success by allowing the team to eliminate obstacles and hurdle barriers.

12. Managing Change - These days, change pounds on corporate doors with disturbing regularity. Disregard for its realities, provokes troublesome and costly consequences. Fostering change to initiate and maintain worthy initiatives, is an art and science.

Shakespeare’s insight “we know what we are, but know not what we may be” eloquently endorses the potential for you to enrich your project management excellence. Empower yourself with the right skills. Cultivate high performance. Delight in the results.

Harry Mingail strives to address the specific needs for an individuals Professional Development Making a positive difference for each and every seminar participant and applying the most current adult learning techniques.

http://www.cmctraining.org/toolkit_pm.asp

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Scientists have long documented a condition known as “phantom limb”, which occurs in about 80 percent of amputees and a smaller percentage of people born without limbs. Phantom limb is the sensation that a missing limb is still attached to one’s body and that it is functional. Reports of feeling pain in the missing limb are also common with this condition.

Although not all amputees report pain, most do acknowledge that they feel as if their missing limb itches, twitches or causes them occasional discomfort. Not being able to actually scratch, rub or move the imaginary limb, patients develop a great sense of frustration and anxiety. It some cases the frustration is chronic.

An innovative scientist came up with a very clever and creative therapy. He created a simple mirror box where those who had lost a hand or arm could put their remaining arm in the box and see both that arm and a reflection of it on the opposite side of the box. The result was that patients saw two normal arms and hands.

The patient was told to move the hand and fingers on the real arm while also imagining that they were moving the hand and fingers on the missing limb. Of course, as soon as the real arm was moved, the reflected image also moved and the patient actually felt the sensation of both arms moving. The psychological impact was immediate and phenomenal. Relief from the frustration of not being able to move the missing limb subsided.

In a sense, a similar therapy can be applied to believers who are suffering from frustration. A believer who is being unfaithful to their savior, either in church attendance or their calling, also suffers from frustrations. Most believers will not admit this. They will attribute frustration in their life to work, finances or other problems. However, when a believer is living a life less than what the Lord wants it to be, the result is usually spiritual frustration. As the flesh battles against the spirit, the Christian “feels” that something is missing and they are unfulfilled.

A young man, who had departed from faithful attendance at church and Godly living, found himself in great distress over the type of life he had come to live. One morning he awoke from yet another drunken stupor, lying half naked on the ground under a small tree. With his head pounding in pain from the effects of the liquor, he looked up toward the heavens and asked “Why don’t you care about me and the way I live?”

Certain that God would not answer him, he angrily grabbed onto the tree to pull himself up off the ground. As he did so, he dislodged an old, uninhabited bird nest that fell to the ground at his feet. A piece of yellow paper was entwined in the nest, apparently put there by the previous occupants to strengthen the nest walls.

Drawn to the paper for some unknown reason, the young man reached down and pulled it from the nest and dusted it off. As he looked at the paper he began to tremble uncontrollably. There in his hand was a sheet of music he had used in Sunday school as a young child many years earlier when he attended the country church a few blocks away. It was torn and weathered, but it still had his name on it and a few of the words from the song were also readable. As he read them, he recalled his railing accusation toward God just moments earlier and began to weep. God had indeed answered, for the paper read “his eye is on the sparrow and I know he cares for me!”

Not all of our questions and problems will be remedied as miraculously as this young man’s were, but we can be sure that God is ever present and ready to work in our lives when we come to him in earnest. Believers need to be proactive in being faithful to the Lord. We can only do that by spending time with him in his word.

The Bible is many things to many people, but perhaps believers need to view it as a spiritual mirror box. If something is missing from our lives, we can look into this wonderful and miraculous book and see the reflection of what we should be, a replica of the Lord Jesus Christ. Being like him is the remedy for our spiritual frustrations.

The author is a retired Coast Guard Officer with over 32 years of service. He is also a Baptist Preacher and Bible Teacher. He helps those grieving the loss of a pet to understand the Biblical evidence that proves they live on. His most popular book, “Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates” delivers hope and comfort to the reader in a very gentle, yet convincing way. Visit at http://www.coldnosesbook.com for more information or write to petgate@aol.com.

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When I was a young adult starting out in life I was afraid of many things.

• Would I be able to earn my daily bread, which means, get a job and have money enough to rent a place to live and to buy food to eat?
• Then I wanted friends. Would I have interesting people to be with and discuss life’s daily problems with?
• I was not yet good at dating and sexual relationships, another hardship on me.
• Sometimes I did not want to get out of bed in the morning because of the things I had to succeed at.

Naked Honesty means that you reveal yourself as you are.

Naked Honesty means that you are just what you are and you live by that.

What is the alternative to Naked Honesty?

LIVING FROM FEAR CONSTRICTS AND EVEN RUINS US

The alternative is that you live by fear, by being afraid of what is happening to you and could happen to you.

You live from fear and this damages you.

Here is a great key to life. Live from fear as your primary motivation and what you are afraid of will mostly happen to you.

No matter how hurt and damaged you feel you have been in life to live from fear damages you even more.

Why? Because it contracts you, makes you hesitate in the face of opportunity, makes you weak with the fear that you won’t succeed in getting what you want.

Naked honesty means that instead of playing at who you are not you live fully who you are.

If you are rich use that money well to give you a fair advantage in life, while spending also your resources in a substantial way to help others.

The rich live in fear of losing their money. I have found the rich I have known really afraid to lose money, and therefore super stingy with what they have.

Only one millionaire, Hy Sobiloff, was generous with his money, taking us to great restaurants when we visited with him, and giving money for college. He was not afraid of life. In fact he bought failing companies and took risks in making them successful.

But the others, the ones who could have been generous and helped others? Their greed made them earn more and more money like Bill Gates so greedy that he charges high prices for his software when he is already the richest man in the world. Then he makes gestures of giving some of his billions away to AIDS research while not lowering his prices.

What is the fear there?

Naked honesty is not in evidence.

The poor have their fears as well. Where is next month’s rent coming from? How will we survive? How will we do better than we are?

Fear contracts us if we let it.

Instead of fear do everything possible to be your real self in life.

I had to and it worked for me.

Instead of being in a relationship that was draining my energy, but playing the good guy, I realized that I was afraid of losing the relationship, or not finding another one at least as good.

I gave up this fear of losing a relationship, of being rejected, and instead asserted my real presence, love and needs in my relating.

It went far better for me. Instead of being rejected people wanted to relate to me even if I was the one saying No to the relationship.

Maybe I had become interesting at last?

Certainly with my confidence in myself I was confident about life also.

My naked honesty made me real. I knew who I was and what I could do. I did not try to be other than I was. I did not try to please the person or persons I was relating to. I was simply myself, take it or leave it.

I applied the same tactic in work situations.

NAKED HONESTY AT WORK IN THE WORLD

Instead of being afraid that I would be fired I worked effectively. I produced results and let my employer know what I was accomplishing for her. I stood my ground in doing what was best for the job I was assigned. I did not just follow the boss’s orders because he or she was not on the scene like I was. This led to heavy discussion sometimes, but I was the expert in my own territory and let those above me know what I was doing and what the results were.

Since I was nakedly honest I had to produce real results of value. I had to solve problems, create value and income. I was not bull-shitting anyone. I had to be real and real meant being successful at what I do.

Naked honesty means that you do what you need to do to succeed, and if you are not succeeding you go somewhere else where your talent, experience and confidence tells you you can succeed.

If they fire you let them fire you because you did a good job, not because you played a game of always agreeing and making yourself look good with false reports and images to cover your ass.

Look good when you are good. When you fail also reveal that as part of your involvement in life.

If you don’t reveal your weaknesses and failures how then can you improve them?

I learned to ask for help. I need help, I would say. I cannot do this alone. How important to you is it?

The boss still directs the organization but you, the worker, carry out the tasks to the best of your ability.

Of course I was fired, and even hired back again. But I gave the best goods I had when in service to someone else.

Eventually, of course, I learned that the best road in life was not to work for others after your apprenticeship has been served but to work for yourself.

In business you succeed or fail based on your reality function, your naked honesty to see things as they are.

If you see yourself as you nakedly are then you will see the reality around you as it really is as well.

You will be nakedly honest in appraising others and the situations you find yourself in.

You will no longer live from fear as a motivation but from positive attitude.

You will indeed have a better life because you will go towards opportunity and not shrink away from it.

SEE YOURSELF AS YOU REALLY ARE

See yourself naked before the world in your whole being. This means how you look. Maybe not a perfect face by movie-star standards. Not a perfect body either. Perhaps not an Einstein intelligence but good enough to still succeed in life.

Assess your real stature, your talents and liabilities. Don’t be like the stupid current President of the USA (2007) who strives for a role he is ill-equipped for and so makes poor decisions that cause immense suffering and creates economic waste in the staggering billions.

They should have some sort of test, some training process, that evaluates you for the roles you aspire to in life. Then let you know with naked honesty when you have the skills and equipment to manage a role well or not.

Imagine that the ‘most powerful country in the world’ has such poor leadership.

Imagine that its people do not practice Naked Honesty and see their political system and their Presidents for what they are: job-qualified or job-unqualified.

What if a culture itself practiced naked honesty?

Imagine how effective that culture would be in today’s world?

In summary, get over living from fear in life. Live from Naked Honesty.

Strephon has lived much of his adult life as a psycho-therapist and teacher and has written many books about his experiences. He has been a paid consultant to organizations and so knows the problems organizations get into when they do not face honestly their own situations. Be sure to visit his sites, including listening to his podcasts on various life subjects done with naked honesty.


dreamwork2000.com


strephonsays.com


creativewritingandwriters.com