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Private financing accounts for over $100 billion in assets in residential markets alone — growing by $20 billion over the past five years. Factoring in commercial, industrial and agricultural real estate transactions, private real estate notes presently represent over $350 billion in total assets.

This pool of private paper assets offers a great resource for investors and those real estate professionals who understand the advantages and techniques of practical real estate deal structuring.

Knowledgeable professionals have long recognized that there are always more takers in the marketplace with Seller-Financed real estate notes than there are cash buyers!

As one respected real estate professional put it: “There are more than 169 known ways to close a real estate transaction — only one of which is cash!”

Here’s a great real-life example of advantageous deal structuring that took place in Florida some years ago. See if you can follow along.

An elderly gentleman listed 20 rental homes valued at $1,000,000 with his local Realtor who was experienced in practical real estate techniques.

The Realtor approached an equally enlightened Investor who was willing to trade his $250,000 equity in a multifamily project, which the Realtor subsequently sold, for the 20 homes.

The Investor provided the Seller with an escrow reserve for the remaining $750,000 owed. Now the beauty of this is that the Investor got the money by obtaining a new loan secured by the 20 homes.

The Investor then spent the next six months purchasing $833,000 worth of private real estate notes at a 25% discount using the escrow reserve funds to purchase the notes. Upon the Seller’s approval the notes were assigned to the Seller at 90% face value or $750,000.

As a result, the Seller received $833,000 in safe, high-yielding private notes secured by real estate, which only cost the Investor $625,000!

This visionary application of equity exchanging and discounted private real estate notes enabled the Investor to pocket $125,000 in profits, while obtaining ownership of 20 rental homes and completing a transaction with no money down!

The Seller received $83,000 extra out of the deal, while satisfying his objective of achieving a well-secured, low-maintenance, long-term income stream.

The knowledgeable real estate professional sold 20 homes and a $600,000 multifamily project transaction.

As this real life adventure demonstrates, practical real estate techniques offer far more innovative options than simply having a Seller carry back a note or the Realtor simply carrying back a commission.

Regardless of the dollar amount of your next real estate transaction it is extremely important to understand how Seller Financing and advantageous deal structuring can enhance all your real estate deals.

You may reach me at
Trinity Funding Group
Candy Holland
707 White Horse Pike
Suit B-3
Absecon, NJ 08201

Office: 609-677-9200
Cell: 856-278-9567

http://www.cash4cashflows.com/candyholland

candy@gotrinitygroup.com

If you’re like other guys, you might think meeting women is really stressful and not fun. While you might be nervous, displaying this personality trait will kill your chances of success with women.

Here’s why…

In order to become successful with women, you have to put in time and effort. This involves going out to bars, night after night, and approaching dozens of women. After awhile this might seem too repetitive and boring.

As a result, you might think it’s not worth your time to practice approaching and attracting women.

This is especially true if you get rejected many times.

But the important thing to remember is what we feel inside is always shown on the outside. So if you’re not having fun when you go out, then you’ll probably end up looking bored.

If you’re not having fun, then you’ve killed any chance of attracting women.

As you can see, it’s important to enjoy the whole experience and view meeting women like it’s a chore.

So here’s what you should do…

Learn to have fun out there!

If you enjoy other activities while meeting and dating women, you’ll end up looking forward to each night. For instance, you can check out places with good bands, have fun with your buddies or engage women in conversations with the sole purpose of getting to know a cool person.

The more you can do to relax and enjoy yourself, the more you’ll be able to project an aura of positive energy and confidence. When you learn to have fun, you’ll have incredible success with women.

Want to learn 50 different ways to meet, approach and attract women If so, take a look at Scott Patterson’s Free eBook which provides 50 tips for approaching, attracting, and dating ANY woman.

During the pre-qualifying interview, you learn that your client is holding a $125,000 note, secured by a commercial building that he sold along with his auto body business. The note is earning a 10% interest rate payable over 30 years. Although the buyer came in with $50,000 cash, that amount only covered the purchase of the trade fixtures and the business. There was no equity applied toward the building purchase.

Further, his business has been doing well and he has made timely payments ($1,097 per month) for three years now. Today, the remaining balance on the note is $122,690, or 98% Loan-to-Value (LTV). In testing the waters, you learn that $91,832 would be the approximate sales price for your client’s note, a discount of $30,858!

High Loan-to-Value

However, because of the high LTV of 98%, the most your client will be able to sell his note for now is $81,250, which is an Investment-to-Value of 65% (ITV). That’s an additional $10,600 discount, or a total loss of $41,458. Whew!

Your client does not like the sound of that. He only needs $55,000 for his business opportunity and he was counting on some of the monthly note payments to help pay some of his daughter’s college expenses.

Your local note broker suggests a partial purchase arrangement. By selling half of each monthly payment for the next 50 months, your client can get $20,000 cash today. That would leave him with a monthly note income of $547 to help with those college expenses. To get the remaining $35,000 your client needs, your local note broker would sell another 131 full payments, which the investor would begin to receive 50 months from now.

The Solution

From an investor’s standpoint, he put up $57,500 ($2,500 to cover the note broker’s fee), representing only 46% ITV. Because of the equity cushion and payment history, he accepts a lower return than he would otherwise.

By buying only a part of this note, the investor enjoys a 13% yield on a well-secured 15-year investment. In working the numbers, you show that your client receives the $55,000 he needs right now, plus a $547 monthly income ($27,350 total) for the next 4.17 years, to cover his daughter’s college years. He also holds an interest in the note, which will have a balance of $91,460 when he starts receiving the monthly payments again in 15 years.

The three above figures represent $173,810 in cash benefits to your client. Even though your client fully understands the time-value-of-money, the realization that he is receiving $48,810 more than he sold the building for (not counting the $39,490 in monthly payments he has already received) sure sounds a whole lot better than selling the note outright!

No Additional Debt

Another benefit is that your client has avoided taking on any additional debt obligations that would have occurred had he borrowed the money from the bank. In addition, he still has a large asset (the remaining interest in the note, plus the partial monthly income) listed on his balance sheet. This leaves his financial statement much stronger should he have some long-term borrowing needs down the road.

Your client achieves his objectives, you close a sale, and you have created the potential for more business — both with your client and his referrals!

You may reach me at
Trinity Funding Group
Candy Holland
707 White Horse Pike
Suit B-3
Absecon, NJ 08201

Office: 609-677-9200
Cell: 856-278-9567

http://www.cash4cashflows.com/candyholland

candy@gotrinitygroup.com

Should you use a licensed real estate agent in The Woodlands, Texas to help you buy a new home? The answer to that is an emphatic ‘YES!’ you should have a licensed Realtor represent you when purchasing a new construction home. Remember, it doesn’t cost you anything to have a Realtor represent you. The builder will pay the Realtor their commission. The cost of the commission is already built into the price of the home. The builder will not give you a discount if you don’t have a Realtor. Ask them and see what they say. They will tell you that they depend on real estate agents for a large part of their business and if they were to cut Realtors out of commissions by promising you a lower price, it would greatly reduce their sales since the agents would stop bringing their clients to them.

Secondly, the sales agent working in the model home is usually not a Realtor and not qualified to explain real estate terms to a buyer. In the State of Texas you must have a Real Estate License to buy or sell real estate for other people. The State requires all licensees to take classes on real estate on a continuing basis and pass a state licensing exam before being allowed to sell houses. The one exception to this is a corporation that is selling its own property. Anyone that a corporation hires (model home sales agents, for example) can sell their property, licensed or not. Most model home sales agents are nice people and very professional, but most are not qualified to sell real estate. A licensed Real Estate agent in The Woodlands, on the other hand, is a professional who is ready to go to work for you.

Thirdly, the model home sales agent represents the builder, NOT YOU!! They are looking out for the builder’s best interest and best price, not your best interest and the best price for you. The way new build pricing is structured today there are many costs added into the price of new homes in The Woodlands that you might not have to pay and most model home sales people never tell you this. After all, they are looking out for the builder’s bottom line and their own commission. The more you pay for the house, the more they will make in commission. Where’s the incentive for them to help you save money? When you use a licensed Real Estate agent in The Woodlands, Texas you will have someone on your side to reveal these types of things and help negotiate the contract to make sure you get what’s best for you.

Sara Duckett is a professional real estate agent in The Woodlands, Texas. She has over 7 years experience helping families relocate to this beautiful part of Southeast Texas from all over the US and the world. Sara has many satisfied clients and puts the needs and desires of her clients above everything else when helpng them find the perfect home for their family. To learn more about The Woodlands Texas real estate log onto http://www.saraduckett.com

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Plant Origin: Russia, India

Extraction Method: Steam distilled from seeds

Coriander is an ancient herb that has been used in natural healing for many centuries. This therapeutic-grade essential oil is a good choice for a number of ailments and is supportive to many systems of the body, from the digestive system to the circulatory system. It has also been tested for its positive effects on the pancreas.

10 self-healing uses and benefits of coriander therapeutic-grade essential oil .

· Coriander therapeutic-grade essential oil is considered an aperitif. Taken before a meal (it should be diluted in soy milk or another liquid before ingesting) coriander can stimulate digestion.

· It is also thought to help increase blood circulation and eliminate toxins from the body.

· Therapeutic-grade essential oil of coriander is supportive of the immune system and can assist in the healing process with colds, flu and other infections.

· It is said to be beneficial for reducing the level of discomfort associated with gout, rheumatism and arthritis. The oil can be used in a bath or massage oil for this purpose.

· Therapeutic-grade coriander essential oil has compounds that are similar to estrogen, making it supportive to women going through menopause. It may also be an aid in regulating menstrual periods.

· Coriander oil is generally regarded as safe, but if you are pregnant or under a doctor’s care, check with him or her before using coriander or any other therapeutic-grade essential oil.

· Coriander is generally thought to be non-irritating, but if you have sensitive skin you might want to test a patch before you use it on a large area.

· Coriander oil can also be used to treat headaches, insomnia, fear and dizziness, and is thought to be particularly beneficial for those suffering from nervous exhaustion. It is considered a mental stimulant.

· It is also thought to help alleviate the appearance of scars and stretch marks.

· Coriander therapeutic-grade essential oil is a good deodorant choice and fungicide, so it is a popular ingredient in many all-natural deodorants. Its strong, sweet, spicy herbal smell is great for elimating odors, on your body or in a smelly room.

Recommendations:

Always wash and rinse your hands thoroughly, before and after working with essential oils and avoid getting the oil in your eyes. Keep all therapeutic-grade essential oils out of the reach of children.

–

This entire article is available for reprint electronically or in print, for free, as long as it is done in its entirety, and the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated. E-mail to: ghgs@youngliving.org.

Emma Sanford is a Registered Professional Nurse, Founder and Wellness Consultant of Good Health - Good Scents, a distributoship of chemical free edible wellness products, located in Atlatna Ga.

Ms. Sanford writes and publishes a FREE weekly ezine ” Good Health -Good Scents Wellness Tools.” Safe subscribe for a FREE copy. Visit, http://www.goodhealth-goodscents.com and http://www.ultimatewellness.blogspot.com

A new 10 minute test to determine whether a patient has Alzheimer’s disease is the CANTAB Paired Associates Learning Test or PAL. This test is opening new doors of possibilities for the treatment of Alzheimer’s by pinpointing with 98% accuracy whether a person has Alzheimer’s disease.

An early concrete diagnosis of this dreaded disease may open the door for new drugs that can be tested on live subjects. The test is said to be able to make a distinction between those patients who are suffering from Alzheimer’s and those individuals who have no neuropsychiatric disorder.

The accuracy of this test is said to be higher than any of the other Alzheimer’s test like the FAST, or MME results. The CANTAB PAL test is reported at a 98% accuracy rate compared to the other test whose accuracy is 90%. Professor Robbins and Dr. Barbara Sahakian are the developers of the test.

“This test is more specific to Alzheimer’s patients”, states Dr. Sahakia, “The CANTAB PAL can test those areas of the brain that are first affected by Alzheimer’s disease”.

Since there is no cure for Alzheimer’s disease, the only alternative is for the patient to receive an early diagnosis in hopes that the disease can be treated.

It is estimated that 2-5% of people over 65 years of age and up to 20% of those over 85 years of age suffer from Alzheimer’s disease.

Early detection and diagnosis are critical factors for the effective treatment of Alzheimer’s Disease. This new test may someday provide the link from early detection to total cure. If there is a 98% accuracy rate, then pharmacological evaluations of victims of the disease will be more reliable.

Early detection of Alzheimer’s can also speed up the research on preventive therapies. Whether those therapies are drug therapies, diet, or other techniques, Scientist will now have living subjects who can undergo stringent test to determine the true effects of these therapies.

The results of the study suggests that impaired performance on one neuropsychological test, CANTAB Paired Associates Learning (PAL), might serve as a marker for pre-clinical Alzheimer’s disease. PAL is a stringent test for episodic memory.

This PAL test assesses visual memory and the ability of the patient to learn new things. This test will prove a useful tool for assessing and making determinations on whether a patient with questionable dementia is suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, age-related memory loss or another types of dementia.

Overview of the PAL Test

1. The test is administered on computer screens.
2. There are boxes that are displayed on the screen.
3. These boxes are opened in a random order.
4. One or more of the boxes will display a pattern.
5. The patterns are then displayed in the middle of the screen, one at a time
6. The patient is asked to touch the box where the pattern was originally located.

If the subject makes an error, the patterns are presented again to remind the subject of the locations. The difficulty level increases throughout the test. In the clinical mode, the number of patterns increases from one to eight. At the eighth level, test providers admit that it is a challenge even for those individuals who show no signs of dementia to achieve a perfect score.

For more information on alzheimers statistics, treatment, caregiving, and support resources, please visit http://www.alzheimersdiseasetips.com for helpful tips. Be sure to read the article on alzheimers disease early symptom detection.

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Being aware of these old deal-making techniques, and using them daily in your real estate activities will increase the volume of your sales, and build your referral base. The end result - more profits!

Simultaneous closings are powerful tools that offer a great deal of flexibility and a notable advantage to the serious dealsmith. They can facilitate closings where traditional financing alternatives are not available. Using this maneuver, the Realtor creates an owner carryback purchase mortgage, while simultaneously working with a note broker to sell the note to an investor at the closing of the purchase transaction.

Several variations of the simultaneous closing technique have been used over the years. However, fueled by an upsurge in the development of mixed-use office/light industrial office parks, R & D facilities, and ministorage complexes throughout the country, there has been an explosion in simultaneous closings during the past five years.

The problem in the past was how to finance all the potential sales. A number of these projects are planned-unit developments, being built with the idea that small businesses can own their own spaces. But, over the past decade, limited options, onerous terms, and stringent qualifying criteria have made it difficult to obtain palatable long-term commercial real estate financing through traditional channels, particularly for loans under $500,000.

The Solution

Simultaneous closings! More real estate agents are becoming familiar with this approach and aware of the advantages that such expanded thinking brings to their closing ratios. This deal-making technique has become a common solution in increasing sales volume for a variety of real property transactions.

Typically, the Seller or his/her Realtor will structure a seller carryback purchase money mortgage. By establishing a relationship with a note broker ahead of time, the agent can gain the basic knowledge necessary for structuring a note that is attractive to a note buyer, while creating a sale that meets both the Seller’s and Buyer’s needs. Once the Seller and Buyer have agreed to the terms of the note, a note buyer can provide a quote reflecting what s/he would pay for the note after closing.

The paperwork for evaluating a note purchase is similar to underwriting a traditional mortgage. The note broker needs copies of the purchase contract, a completed credit application, income documentation for the Payor, and a current appraisal. It has become common to use a basic credit application form rather than a loan application (1003) form, to ensure that the parties are clear that the note purchase is NOT a loan transaction.

A commitment to purchase the newly created note at closing is then obtained from a note buyer, generally at a discount. From that point, the deal proceeds through escrow. Shortly after closing, the Seller’s note is then sold to the investor, and the seller receives the cash in a second closing. In this manner, the Seller is able to get his/her equity much the same as s/he would with a typical financed closing.

Voila! The knowledgeable Realtor just injected new cash into a transaction where traditional financing didn’t meet the need, and closed a deal that wouldn’t have happened otherwise! Simultaneous closings can be used to fund a wide variety of purchases where a good credit buyer can’t qualify for traditional financing.

You may reach me at
Trinity Funding Group
Candy Holland
707 White Horse Pike
Suit B-3
Absecon, NJ 08201

Office: 609-677-9200
Cell: 856-278-9567

http://www.cash4cashflows.com

candy@gotrinitygroup.com

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The biggest players, including some large banks and insurance companies, are losing tremendous sums of money at the sub-prime game.

Over the past several months, most major sub-prime lending companies, including the biggest and oldest in the business, experienced some difficulty in one way or another. Many have either struggled to keep their doors open or have actually decided to file for bankruptcy.

Those still standing have had their investment ratings downgraded due to the industry’s legal and political risks, not to mention the financial realities of doling out money to high risk borrowers, secured only by high risk, high loan-to-low-equity-value properties.

The strategy of aggressively creating loans and then selling them off in pools of securities, known as “securitization”, has given fuel to this multi-billion dollar industry, at the expense of profits.

Equity Is Still King

Spending money to make money might make sense in the right business platform - but giving it away tends to spill red ink all over the place.

Consolidation in sub-prime lending markets will likely make equity king again - forcing deal-makers to return to “practical solutions” for real estate financing options, and not always just for sub-prime borrowers.

How This Affects You

Okay, it’s time to think of new ways to help your clients. Creative solutions for everyone.

For many of you it will be a whole new educational process. Fortunately, you don’t have to look far - I am a quick phone call away. And the time to get started is sooner rather than later.

Remember, every deal is different and I can always give you some basics so you’ll have a complete understanding, and the ammunition, for counseling your clients on closing deals in a less fluid environment. For example, did you know that table funding (otherwise known as simultaneous closings) has become one of the hottest techniques in real estate transactions over the past eight years - making up an estimated 20% of all private note sales? Several issues ago, I explained how Sellers needing cash could sell a newly created note simultaneously with the sale of their property.

Installment Sale

Additionally, in the last issue, I pointed out that most Sellers assume that they need all the cash at closing. However as I explained, an installment sale can often be a better alternative, both from a tax and a reinvestment standpoint.

Also in the last issue, I illustrated how a client holding existing paper can use that paper as collateral to secure more assets, while continuing to enjoy higher returns and more tax benefits.

The Best Strategy

If you or your clients are disposing of real estate assets or need to liquidate existing notes, feel free to give me a call ahead of time. I am happy to help you determine which strategy might work best.

What I am proposing is that you use one of the many alternative-financing techniques, providing a broad range of options so your clients can complete transactions in a manner that is acceptable to them.

More Options

Here are a handful of options you can choose from: 1. Private seller carryback purchase mortgages; 2. Table funding; 3. Trading equities; 4. Exchanging; 5. Substituting collateral; 6. Bartering; 7. Using land contracts; 8. Converting existing notes to cash; and 9. Structuring lease options. All of these deal-making strategies have been used for decades and are valid, viable, and valuable techniques.

Problem Solving

Professionals such as Realtors, attorneys, CPAs, and mortgage brokers have used these techniques reliably for years - knowing that they offer practical solutions for their clients.

You may reach me at
Trinity Funding Group
Candy Holland
707 White Horse Pike
Suit B-3
Absecon, NJ 08201

Office: 609-677-9200
Cell: 856-278-9567

http://www.cash4cashflows.com

candy@gotrinitygroup.com

We have one person in our office that must have been born with the skills, talent, and ability to be a total extrovert and give a speech or presentation at the drop of a hat. However, according to a human resource survey reported in 2005, approximately 15% of employed persons are highly apprehensive about communicating orally in organizational settings. Practically everyone - about 85% of the population, in fact - experiences “stage fright” when they give a speech.

Another person in our office, we’ll have to call him “Joe,” was pretty near the bottom of that 85%. He was probably one of the 5% of us who have an excessive and debilitating fear of speaking in public.

Realizing this could affect his career from moving forward, he decided he needed to do something. Shakespeare wrote, “All the world’s a stage. And all the men and women merely players,” but if we’re not pretty good players, then we may face missed business opportunities, lost clients, being passed over for promotions. Any of these occurrences can cost us tens, even hundreds of thousands of dollars over a career. So, our “Joe” went for help to acting professionals who teach transferring performance skills to the business arena, and it really made a difference.

I know of two places in Houston, Texas where they have acting classes to help the business person; “Joe” went to the Houston Academy of Dramatic Arts (www.hadaedu.org) and Lasater Training (www.barbaralasater.com). Most cities of any size have acting schools which also offer lessons for business people who do presenting or any public speaking. Hopefully, you can find someone in your city if you need this type of training. Until then, the following tips should help improve your presentation skills:

Practice: Okay it’s just like learning to play the piano, practice, practice, practice, but it’s surprising how many people don’t practice in front of a mirror or in front of friends.

Visualize: See yourself successfully presenting to a pleased audience, and visualize your audience as just people no different than you. That’s who they are.

Know your material: This one should be obvious, but many people simply don’t prepare their material and then have stage fright because they feel unprepared. Go figure.

Focus on one idea that’s usable: All your audience really wants is to walk away with something they can use.

Relax: If you are at ease your audience will be at ease.

Use resources: A good Flash or PowerPoint presentation can make your presentation more interesting and make your job easier.

What will, of course, do the most good is real training, at an acting school or somewhere else, that incorporates practice before class audiences and develops skills such as voice control and body movement. “Joe” is now able to present at work and at networking events with the poise of Tom Cruise.

Vickie Adair is the senior technical writer at Media A-Team (http://www.mediaateam.com) and also publishes as a freelance writer. She writes for several websites such as http://www.houstonmanufacturers.com, an online directory and news site for the Houston manufacturing community, http://www.booksisters.com, a website for readers of self-help books, and http://www.natural-products-directory.com, a directory of online business that sell or manufacture organic and/or natural products.

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In the 2003 motion picture, Anger Management, Jack Nicholson plays Dr. Buddy Rydell who is assigned to help Dave Buznik (Adam Sandler) control his anger. In one scene, Nicholson tries to tempt Sandler into hitting-on a girl at a bar. Sandler who already has a girlfriend responds with “Flirting is cheating’s first cousin, Buddy!” But is it?

What constitutes cheating?

Is cheating kissing or sleeping with someone? What are the boundaries? And is cheating only physical or can there also be, “emotional cheating”?

Take the quiz and then compare your answers with mine and my explanations and reasoning.

IS IT CHEATING? YES or NO

1. You French kiss a co-worker at an office party?

2. You kiss the stripper at your bachelor party?

3. You (the woman) kiss another woman?

4. You watch adult movies on your own?

5. You go out for dinner with someone who you know is interested in you?

6. If you have phone sex?

7. If you excessively use MySpace, talking to people of the opposite sex?

8. If you have sex while on a break from a relationship?

9. If you are in a casual but sexually exclusive relationship and you date other people but don’t have sex?

10. You secretly talk to your EX?

11. You undress and put to bed your drunk friend?

12. You hang out with a friend topless on beach?

13. You go to a nude beach?

14. You dirty dance with a friend or stranger - touching and grinding each other?

For most people, the term cheating refers to being sexually unfaithful but the dictionary also defines cheating as deceiving someone. In a committed relationship, the definition of cheating needs to be clearly determined and defined by each partner, and acceptable to both. For example, some couples are OK with a partner flirting and even kissing someone else - of either sex. In some of the scenarios in the quiz above, it may not be a case of clear cheating but it might still be wrong and hurtful!

Now let’s explore each of the above questions in detail:

1. You French kiss a co-worker at an office party?
Yes, this is cheating - kissing is not just a physical act, it also creates an emotional response, particularly in women.

2. You kiss the stripper at your bachelor party?
The same applies here. Also, a bachelor party does not grant free license to do anything you want because you justify it as your last fling. Commitment begins when you commit to the other person, not just when you sign the marriage papers or move-in.

3. You (the woman) kiss another woman?
In my book, “What a woman wants!” (WOW Media)I explain that for most women, they will decide if they will sleep with you based on how you kiss. In other words, the kiss has great significance and meaning for a woman, so, yes, it is cheating.

4. You watch adult movies on your own?
Men will argue that sex is sex and it has no meaning for them beyond the physical feelings or attraction. However, repeated fantasizing about someone else, and repeated exposure to the adult movie world, creates false expectations of one’s partner. In other words, the sexual fantasy can be just as damaging to the relationship as the real sexual act. Beware also of how often you are watching these movies. If it is on a regular basis and you are doing it instead of being with your partner - you may need help. Yes, it is cheating -if you do it on a regular basis.

5. You go out for dinner with someone who you know is interested in you?
It seems harmless and maybe your intentions are sincere but it can easily lead to cheating when you need a shoulder to cry-on, you are vulnerable or your partner has hurt you and you want to get him/her back. Remember, spending time with someone and doing things together leads to bonding and thus you are building a relationship - even if it is not at first, a romantic one. Also, if you know that the other person is seriously interested in you beware that you do not hurt the other person by leading them on. And guys: beware that if a woman wants you, she may use a variety of deceptive practices to win you over - even if you are taken!

6. If you have phone sex?
Yes, it is cheating. You are speaking with a real person even if you may have not met them and you are fantasizing and connecting with them - not your partner. You are giving that person energy and attention and taking it away from your partner.

7. If you excessively use MySpace, talking to people of the opposite sex?
Why do you need to spend so much time talking to other people online? What are you talking about? It is obvious that something is missing in your relationship. It may not begin as cheating but will most likely lead to physical cheating. Also, it is a form of emotional cheating.

8. If you have sex while on a break from a relationship?
Both of you must decide upfront what you expect from each other during the break and the purpose of the break/time apart. If one partner says to the other, “I want to” or “We need to see other people” then it is not cheating.

9. If you are in a casual but sexually exclusive relationship and you date other people but don’t have sex?
If you both agree to this action, then it is fine, otherwise, yes, it is cheating. You are still looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right and seeking to establish the emotional connection first.

10. You secretly talk to your EX?
Yes, it is cheating because you are deceiving your partner.

11. You undress and put to bed your drunk friend?
It is not cheating as long as all you did is put your friend to bed - and you didn’t climb in with her. (Most guys don’t care about sleeping fully dressed, on the floor, when they are drunk, so this situation usually only applies to women!)

12. You hang out with a friend topless on the beach?
This is a cultural issue. In Europe, most women sunbathe topless. In America, being topless is a big issue - to women. It is not cheating, unless the both of you begin to drink and party together on the beach and she asks you to rub suntan lotion on her chest…and you oblige!

13. You go to a nude beach?
Most guys don’t go to a nude beach - except to watch women naked, so yes, for men, the intention is cheating. In other words, it would be a rare sight to see a group of straight guys naked at a nude beach, just hanging around having a beer or two, and throwing the Frisbee to each other!

14. You dirty dance with a friend or stranger - touching and grinding each other?
Women express themselves via body language more than men do. Thus, dancing can be a real turn-on for women, particularly when the dancing becomes sexual, so yes, it is cheating. If you are still not sure, ask yourself, “Would you dirty dance with your mother or mother-in-law?”

The final word

Yes, there is sexual and emotional cheating and either one can be hurtful. There are five core emotions that drive our behavior: love, hate, fear, lust and pleasure. In other words, we will at one time or another be tempted to do something based on the above emotions such as express physical anger or hatred or, respond to feelings of lust. And if we gave into every feeling or impulse we were to have, anarchy would rule the world. Decide clearly if you want to be in a relationship with this person or not. If not, walk away. Don’t do things that are selfish and extremely hurtful to the other person. You always have the power to say, “No.” Discuss with your partner what is missing in the relationship rather than look outside to fulfill it. Finally, a committed relationship is about love, honor, respect, honesty and trust. Anything that you do that goes against that type of commitment can be defined as cheating!

Originally from Australia, Patrick Wanis is a Celebrity Life-Coach, Author and an Expert in Human Behavior and Relationships. He is a Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner, Clinical Hypnotherapist with degrees in Communication, Human Behavior and Journalism. Wanis is the Human Behavior & Relationship Expert for Date.com, Matchmaker.com & American Media, and a regular contributor to FOX News. Wanis coaches and works with various celebrities. WGN Chicago and Syndicated TV show, “The Daily Buzz” anointed him “The Woman Expert” and FOX News pronounced him “A voice for women.” Over four million people have read Wanis’ books in English and Spanish including: “Soul Mates”, “Finding God”, “Get What You Want!”, “Get the man you WANT!” “How to Get Over It”, and; “What a Woman Wants.” He recently coached and hypnotized Hulk Hogan and family for relaxation and healing as part of the VH1 series, Hogan Knows Best. Visit him on-line at http://www.patrickwanis.com