We like to spring clean and open up windows to let the fresh air in after everything has been closed up all winter, sort of like a bear in hibernation. Speaking of hibernation, oh I’m sure we all have some pack rats in the house too. Like me, I guess I am a pack rat. I save everything even if I haven’t used it or worn it in-how many years? Yes, I’m guilty. I know that one day I’ll be looking for that pair of jeans that has been to tight for years now, I’ll loose the weight. Right! What about that pair of shoes that I got on sale-”I only wore them once but I may want to wear them again some day”. “That sweatshirt is too small but I love the color”.

Maybe we should save that light fixture, who knows when we might need it. Can you figure why we replaced it? Why would we use it again? “Oh, and save those telephone wires, we may get 10 more phones that we will need lines for.” “Do you think you have enough candles?” “I’ll need them when the power goes off.” And all those screws, nails, hooks, buttons. They might come in handy even though you just found them after looking for something else. They’ve been waiting to be used for the past five years.

One of my favorites is food. Saving food in case-. In case of what? In case we get snowed in for a week. In case of an earthquake or in case of what ever. “Oh, I got this on sale and it’s a good thing to save in case.” My cupboards are full in case. My back bedroom has food in boxes and on top of the dresser, in case. Not saying it isn’t a good idea to have supplies and food on hand in case but some of us are ridiculous.

I’m afraid to open my closets. I have so many blankets, Afghans, sleeping bags, pillows, and sheets. Everything is packed in like sardines and the slightest move of an item could topple the whole thing. In the other closet the boxes of stuff, like Christmas decoration (at one time I had five big boxes, just of decorations) car racing souvenirs dishes and coffee mugs. The empty boxes, wrapping paper, and tags for next year. The clothes have no place to hang. Wouldn’t you think if I got rid of some of the clothes that both closets are filled with, I’d have room for the boxes? Or should I get rid of some of the boxes? See, hard choice.

Now this brings me to why I am so much of a pack rat. I think back to when I was a child growing up. We were dirt poor, the poorest family in our town. We got most of our clothes from other people when they or their kids out grew them or got tired of them. We wore them until we out grew them or they fell off us, which ever came first. We were cold in the winter in our little house with only a small wood stove that kept the house from freezing in the night. We had one wool blanket each to cover us in the night. We ate berries that we picked in the summer and food from welfare to help us get by. We were always hungry.

When I was placed in my first foster home, I left my brothers and sister; also leaving what toys, clothing and other personal things behind. Through the years, I was in abusive relationships and never was able to keep the things that I worked for. I always had to leave them behind when I left an abuser. I never was in a real stable relationship to have anything to call my very own.

So you see this is probably why I am such a pack rat. I now have a stable life with a stable husband and home. We have two wonderful dogs. I find it very hard to throw or give away what I think I may need in case. I never want to be hungry or cold so I have plenty of food and blankets in case. I want to have plenty of clothes to wear because once I had none of my own.

I know why I am a pack rat but why are you?

I wrote a book and had it published in 2006. The name of it is “Living Nightmares of Abuse”. In this book it tells of my family and my life of being abused. My book has helped many that are or have been in abusive relationships.

My book Living Nightmares of Abuse is available at http://www.publishamerica.com Also available at any on line book store. ISBN number 1-4137-9156-5. For more information about my book or about the author, please visit my websites at http://www.pdbenton.org/ or http://www.freewebs.com/dianesfantasy/