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Habits really do rule our lives.
Our mental habits are supremely powerful in dictating which physical habits we develop and practise, if we humans were computers our mental habits would be our personal inner software that control our bodies and their habits (hardware). As I continue my blog examination of how we can change any aspect of our lives and habits, I will show you how you can change your personal software to function as you want it to and not allow your software to control you.
Before we do that we need to address the real bad boy (or girl) of our mental habits and possibly one of the most damaging, controlling, limiting and negative mental habits we can allow. That is our bling’ed up, bad mouthed and notorious inner voice, that little voice that is constantly in our head trying to control what we do, how much we believe in ourselves or how we view our selves.
If our mental habits are our own personal software, then our negative inner voice that we struggle with, is a powerful virus that we have acquired. It wants you to see and focus on certain things (like the negativity and failure) and tries to prevent you from focusing on other more positive things (like your accomplishments or potential). It is constantly reaffirming any mistakes or setbacks you experience (’told you that you would fail at that’) and belittles your success (’why you so happy? anyone can do what you just did!’).
Ok, if we suffer from a little negative voice from time to time why not just disregard it and carry on regardless? In reality it can be more complicated than that. We can tend to think that our inner voice comes from some deep shadowy place called soul, it is always, without doubt, unquestionably and unequivocally right because it is some magical, ethereal, all knowing oracle that speaks the ‘true reality’ from deep down in our psyche. (I mean, it’s not of course, there is nothing magical about our inner voices at all, just the opposite in fact it’s just a part of our sub conscious mind)
Another aspect of our inner voice which makes it so effective is, it never shuts up! It is constantly in our ears morning, noon and evening, like a demented rapper; it never decides to strike for better working conditions, never goes on holiday and never ever gives us the silent treatment. If for some reason you can not sleep one time it will happily sit up with you all night telling you where your life is going wrong and why you will never improve it.
But by far the factor that gives our inner voice the most power over us is the fact that we all believe we can deal with it or just ignore it. For example the night before some big life event for us, say a new job interview our inner voice could go into negative meltdown (’you aren’t going to get this job fool, you can’t do this kind of job, you have not got the talent, why are you even putting yourself through this only to get rejected?’ etc).
Instead of dealing with our voice we try to ignore it or limit its influence on our state of mind but secretly we believe it a little. We decide we do feel a little negative about our chances but in the morning we will ‘act’ all confident and no one will ever know about our inner doubts.
The truth is acting positive when you do not feel it is impossible! If you doubt what I am saying take the iPod challenge. Get a song you know on your iPod and play it loud, then think of another song you know the words to and try to sing it as accurately and in tune as you can while listening to the iPod in your ears. If you have doubts as to how awful the results are tape yourself! (I think there should be’ iPod challenge’ parties, the results are brilliant).
It is no different with your inner voice and you. If you allow your inner voice to influence you and you decide to ‘pretend’ to the world you are confident the results will be laughable. You will give away your real inner state in a million different ways, by the words you use, eye contact, body language, timbre in your voice or your facial expressions etc.
So how do you take control of that irksome inner voice? How can you turn it to a positive force for change, how can you use it to help you change any aspect of your habits you want?
Check out more details at 21ksa.co.uk for more answers.
Louie Burns is a direct sales expert with over 23 years experience from selling, to managing for some of the biggest direct sales companies in the UK to training for them. His passion is bringing direct sales into the 21st century and become successful again. Is passion is the inner game of selling and you can find out more about him at http://www.21ksa.co.uk and see many more free articles.