Getting back in the dating world after a divorce can be difficult and downright scary. Unfortunately, divorce can leave you emotionally scarred and feeling less than desirable to the opposite sex. It is important to take a step back and evaluate what you want and what you are ready before jumping into the dating scene once again.

You don’t have to rush back into a serious relationship. Enjoy dating and just getting out there to meet new people. You need to take the time to discover who you are now and what you really want in a relationship. Getting too serious too fast after a divorce can lead into some major problems. Date many different types of women before you settle down again.

Your self esteem has probably taken a big hit, so it is best to take some “me” time to work on yourself physically and emotionally. It is an excellent time to join a gym or take up a new sport or hobby. Until you face the emotional baggage you have from your past relationship, you cannot have a healthy relationship. Take the time to figure out your past mistakes to make sure you do not repeat them with your future relationships. If you need professional help to get over emotional issues, seek it out before you move forward with someone else. You will be a better partner and you will feel better yourself.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable or you won’t be able to give 100% to your next relationship. Love can hurt, but you can’t let it make you bitter inside or you will miss out on so much in life. Just because you have been hurt in the past doesn’t mean the next relationship you have will end in the same way. Most importantly, don’t make your future relationships suffer for your past. It is not fair to assume all women are the same.

If you are ready for a new beginning, then online dating is a great way to get started after a divorce because you don’t have to find a single social circle. If you have been out of the game for several years, you can’t possibly know what to expect. Online dating makes it easy to meet single people of any age.

Chet Rowland is the author of several courses and dvds on online dating for men. For more information and a free course on meeting women visit http://www.chetsdatingsystem.com

In my profession of reviewing Georgia Golf Courses, mainly in the Atlanta area golf market, I have the unique ability to add a special twist to my golf course reviews. My readers get the added benefit of golf course reviews for women, by a woman.

One of my pet peeves is a golf course that isn’t truly set up for the woman golfer.

For example, have you ever played a golf course where the forward tees (aka, the “ladies tees”) seem to have been added as after-thought? A cut down patch of fairway, or the tee box markers just “tossed” somewhere in front of the men’s forward tees, are just two examples of a golf course that doesn’t take into consideration the power of the woman golfing market.

Women golfers now represent over 25% of the golfing market as a whole. Also, an important statistic to take into account is that the fastest growing segment of women golfers is the 18-29 year old bracket. Let alone the fact that one-third of all “new golfers” are women.

Add to these statistics the simple fact that golf is a “game for a lifetime” and golfers over 50 play more rounds than their younger counter-parts, it is very difficult for me to see, from a pure business angle, how this market isn’t given very serious consideration at EVERY golf course. Will this take some extra effort? Of course, but the long-term benefits far outweigh the original investment.

The average woman golfer carries a USGA index of about 28. The forward/ladies tees should be set up with that market in mind. Currently, I carry a USGA index that puts me in the top 7% of US amateur women golfers. I know that if a course has a negative effect on me, it will certainly cause a negative effect on the target market of women golfers.

I have seen definite improvement in golf course set-up in relation to the woman golfer in the past few years, but there are still courses that need a “touch up”. Being that the golf industry is a male-dominated field, I believe it would benefit each course to enlist some women golfers of varying playing abilities to review their course. More importantly, listen to their feedback.

I feel certain that golf courses that are reviewed by women for women will see a definite impact on their business interaction with that target market. It’s not so much about a course being “woman friendly”, it’s about a course making a wise business decision to be “golfer friendly” and cater to all playing ability levels.

Ms Ledbetter and her husband are the founders of GeorgiaGolfCourse Reviews.com

Ms Ledbetter has 15+ years in the golf and customer service industry. GeorgiaGolfCourse Reviews.com brings a unique twist to reviews of Atlanta area golf courses. Mr and Mrs Ledbetter play each course together then review each course separately for the male golfer and the female golfer, and throw in an over-all couples golf experience. We love golf. If it’s about golf, it’s at GeorgiaGolfCourse Reviews.com

If you’re always getting a “no” and you find rejection after rejection on your sales calls trying to sell in the ‘dog’ territory you were assigned and you always have a problem with the product you sell because it doesn’t meet the needs of your clients then I will tell you now; you are starving and will continue to starve unless you are prepared to make personal changes.

First, the problem isn’t your territory or your product. The problem is you. What have you done to continue your learning of how to sell? Even if you haven’t taken any courses or seminars, there are many great sales gurus online who offer free sales tips and techniques with daily to weekly newsletters. You should be spending at least 30 minutes a day reading to improve yourself.

Secondly, there is a buyer for every product. If you are ‘throwing up’ on the customer with all the great features of your product without finding out what they need then how can you sell the benefits of the product. Most buyers want to know ‘what’s in it for me (them)’. In most cases, the speed of a skill saw means nothing unless you can put it in the context of their needs. For example; the prospect says to you “…that they have never used a skill saw before and want something that is easy and safe to use”. Your response then is “…the multiple speed settings allow ease of use for a variety of materials and with the safety guards built right in you are protected with all the saw dusts falling to the floor or to a shop vac. In addition we have built in an emergency shut off in the rare case of a jam in sawing.”

I had been one of the first in Canada in the mid 1990’s to be Certified as a New Home Sales Professional, CSP. During the training we had a Condo Builder talking about the last unit in a new building that they just couldn’t sell. The building and units were built for a very upscale market and priced accordingly. The problem with this unit is the focal point window was only a few feet away from a large brick wall. There was no view. One rejection after another then one day it sold. The person who bought the apartment unit loved everything about the apartment from its size, to its location downtown with easy access to the transit system, the concierge, etc. You see, the window with a brick wall view was not a problem…he was blind.

Ray MacNeil writes in his Blog daily for New Entrepreneurs and those people considering the move into Self-Employment. His blog can be found at: http://franchisefun.blogspot.com

The first step to having a wine tasting party is deciding the theme. Will it be a general survey of wines? Will it be a “vertical tasting,” featuring several vintages of the same wine, such as Château Mouton-Rothschild from 1970-1982? Or will it be a “horizontal tasting,” with wines of a single vintage from several wineries, such as 1990 Barolos? There’s nothing wrong with setting up a tasting any way you want, but the more structured it is, the more the participants are likely to learn. Wine tasting parties are a wonderful way to experience several wines without bearing a great financial burden. Have each guest bring a bottle and you’re ready to go.

If you’re up for just tasting some different wines, remember these rules:

White wine before red wine.
Light wine before heavy wine.
Dry wine before sweet wine.
Simple wine before complex, rich wine.

For all wine tastings, remember the 7 S’s to help you achieve a full experience.

See-Look at the wine. Is it light, dark, clear, opaque?
Swirl-Rotate the glass, either on the table or in your hand. This helps aerate it and release the flavors and aromas.
Sniff-Put your nose in the glass and inhale. What do you notice? What aromas? Bouquet?
Sip-Take a mouthful and hold it in your mouth. “Chew” on it. What is the mouth feel?
Slurp- Suck some air into your mouth while holding the wine. This often releases subtle aromas detected in your retronasal cavity.
Swish-Move it around in your mouth. What is the body of the wine?
Swallow or Spit-Then exhale slowly through the nose.
Sniff again-Often you will notice something you didn’t the first time.

What is the finish? How long do the flavors linger? Talk about it with your fellow tasters. Remember, nobody is wrong when it comes to tasting wine. As stated in the Choosing Wine article, genetic variation in the human palate is very broad. Some people taste and smell what others don’t.

After you taste the wines, you’ll want to discuss them with your friends. Americans tend to describe wines based on olfactory words such as: fruity, flowery, spicy, earthy, woody, grassy, tobacco. These sensations come from compounds in the wine that are identical or similar to those very things. Many British writers use adjectives such as vigor, power, youthfulness, ripeness, silkiness, dullness, and harshness when describing wines.

The “nose” of the wine referes to the aromas, or individual smells, and the “bouquet” refers to the collection of smells.

The “taste” of the wine reveals itself in the mouth from front to back. Sweet is the first to be detected on the tip of the tongue. While dry may be considered the opposite of sweet, Master of Wine Tim Hanni, suggests using “not sweet” as the opposite of sweet. This is because tannins and astringent compounds that cause physical drying in the mouth can actually be present in a sweet wine, and not present in a wine that lacks sweetness. Thus, sweet wines may have a drying effect while so-called dry wines may have no drying effect at all.

Acidity is sensed on the sides of the tongue. White wines have more acidity than reds and rely on it for structure. Acidity can be described as tart, crisp or soft. Acidity can be distinguished from tannins because it makes you salivate in response while tannins don’t.

Tannins are bitter compounds found in the skins of grapes. Giving structure to red wines as acidity does to whites, the drying effects of tannins can be detected on the back of the tongue and the inside of the cheeks. Words to describe tannins in wine are bitter, firm and soft.

Body refers to the feel of the wine in your mouth. Some wines feel fuller in the mouth than others. They have more “weight.” Wines can be light, medium or full-bodied.

Becoming educated in wine requires tasting many wines. Wine tasting parties and festivals are ideal because you can sample numerous wines without having to buy numerous bottles. Often, you will meet people who know about wine and are happy to share their experience with you.
Happy tasting!

VinoWineOnline.com is dedicated to providing the finest wines and up-to-date information on wine and food. http://www.VinoWineOnline.com

Anne Bonney: My Pirate Story
by Jeffery S. Williams with Katherine Williams
iUniverse (2006)
ISBN 9780595373048
Reviewed by Debra Gaynor for Reader Views (12/06)

Anne Bonney was born out of wedlock in 1700 to Peg Brannan, a maid, and her employer William McCormac. She lived with her mother and her Uncle Edward. He was kind to her and she loved him. When the schoolmaster thrashed her for beating up the school bully, she learned the hard way that “silence in violence and violence in silence. It left my enemies adrift with uncertainty.” Her unswerving defiance unnerved the schoolmaster. Anne had learned a life lesson, “most people do not have the stomach for direct confrontation.”

At ten years of age Anne and her mother and father left Ireland for the Carolinas. She cherished the sea. She’d found her destiny, on a ship.

Anne came to despise her father. She saw him as a brutal master to the slaves and yet spineless. Her father picked suitors for her but she would have none of them. When James Bonney asked her to marry him she agreed despite her father’s objections. Her father knew that Bonney was a penniless indentured servant out to get the family’s money. Her father disowned her.

James was working for the government accusing men of being pirates. Anne had respect for most of the pirates and despised her husband for betraying them. When Anne set eyes on Calico Jack Rackham he lingered in her mind. She felt he was a man she could respect.

Anne took to wearing James’ clothing and secretly visited the taverns which the pirates frequented. When the opportunity arose Anne joined Rackham on his ship. By day she dressed as a male pirate and by night she lay in his bed. When a shipmate attacked her she killed him. She now had the respect of the crew but they still believed she was male. But their respect didn’t stop her from being arrested for piracy.

Jeffery S. Williams is a talented writer; his perspective on Anne Bonney’s story is fascinating. He captures the feminine viewpoint perfectly. The plot flows smoothly, yet has twists and turns that I wasn’t expecting. I eagerly turned the pages reading this book in one setting. I had to see what adventure Anne would face next. The cover is beautifully done. The ship with the beautiful sunset sets the tone of the story. This story contains fiction and nonfiction, action, adventure and romance. I love the ending. I highly recommend “Anne Bonney: My Pirate Story” to those who enjoy historical fiction and nonfiction.

http://www.readerviews.com/

Some smart fast-talking folks who incidentally have never managed to make any serious money on the Internet, usually laugh whenever anybody mentions viral marketing. They will never really take viral marketing or any body who talks about it, seriously.

Yet the truth is that the World Wide Web is what it is today because of viral marketing and viral growth. It all started with one computer being linked to another, and then a few, mainly for sharing research data and information. Then a few more computers wanted in and they shared with others how useful it was to link to each other. Within no time the few computers had grown to billions of computers all over the planet forming the World Wide Web we know today, which incidentally is still growing at breakneck speed. Another famous example is Hotmail, the free email service. Hotmail grew from a cold start to millions of users in a few weeks of rapid viral activity driven only by a very tiny, brief signature statement at the bottom of each email that went out from users, inviting folks to click at it and open their own free hotmail accounts.

There are numerous other examples that we can give here. But the point is that your best bet to grow your business rapidly and make some serious money online is viral marketing. In other words all you need to do is find an online expert in viral marketing ready to spill all the beans and divulge all the insider secrets. Actually there is an amazing no frills ebook that does just that.

In my humble view anybody who is able to grasp just a little knowledge on how to use viral marketing to make money online will revolutionize their fortunes on the web.

Review this recent detailed article on a viral approach to making cash on the Internet. It is also terribly important that you discover the two main make money online alternatives.

Golf shoes are an important part of golf for both the game and the player.

On a Game Level, different golf shoes and their respective spikes cause daily damage to the course. The traditional metal spike was the major offender and has been banned from most courses. The introduction of softspikes in the early 1980s has helped reduce wear and tear on the fairways and greens. The most promising shoe is the new generation spikeless golf shoe which minimizes damage to all playing surfaces.

For the average player, course damage is key for a couple of reasons. First, the resulting maintenance adds to the golfers playing fees. Second, it affects the playing quality of the turf and respectively the golfer’s score for the money paid to play. Neither is a good thing.

USGA.COM reports that “golf is one of the few games, perhaps the only one, where the player’s own equipment - [specifically] spiked shoes — directly, undeniably, and significantly affects the most critical playing surface of the game - the putting green”.

The growing market trend is to promote spikeless golf shoes and there are some very good reasons why. From a Player Level there are no residual maintenance fees for spikes. Additionally, the shoes offer the same if not better technology related to comfort and play. Finally, they are kind to the course.

GolfIllustrated.com reports that there are a few primary players that make up the market for noncleated golf shoes. That is “good news … [since] they are focused on bringing golfers the best products possible, including incredible technology, fantastic fashions, comfort never imagined possible just 10 years ago and [with] game-enhancing designs”.

While each manufacturer has done special research and testing to enhance their respective golf products all have tried to improve shoes in a number of key areas: outsoles - durability and traction; insole comfort related to fit and feel AKA athletic last; and, materials related to endurance and flexibility. GolfDigest.com and the websites of the manufacturers highlight the following:

Adidas Golf Shoes: Adidas spikeless golf shoes are known for their unconventional coloring, styles and technologies. One of Adidas main features is the Clima Cool system that keeps the foot cool and dry through their waterproof technologies. They also feature Z-Traxion technology with lateral and linear design to maximize grip on surface areas. And, the manufacturer’s patented torsion system helps to control excess movement and maintain stability for the golfer through play.

Etonic Golf Shoes: Etonic offers a durable spikeless mens golf shoe that is innovative in providing comfort and traction. Its new G-SOK features a wide-platform outsole made from a high-abrasion Goodyear rubber that’s 20 times more durable than conventional rubber. This makes the gripping nubs super strong, and since they don’t require receptacles, the shoe is even more lightweight and flexible. Etonic also offers a spikeless womens golf shoe with the same quality features.

FootJoy Golf Shoes:The FootJoy offers spikeless mens golf shoes in a variety of styles and colors. Most are of leather construction with a durable rubber outsole. They feature the EVA Fit-Bed®, a lightweight removable insole that does not set, so the cushioning will remain the same for the life of the shoe. FootJoy spikeless shoes also feature “Slip Last Construction.” - a technique often used in running shoes. This technique offers more contour and flexibility for comfort in the shoe. FootJoy also offers spikeless womens golf shoes with the same quality features.

Nike Golf Shoes: Nike goes “From Air to Zoom”. Nike spikeless mens golf shoes combines a deep heel Air-Sole unit together with cushioned forefront Air unit to provide lightweight comfort with enhanced feel and performance through your weight shift. Their ultra-flexibleT@C4 (Traction at Contact) Spikeless outsole technology provides maximum traction, stability and flexibility. The Nike spikeless shoe has an athletic last built for well-rounded toe and fuller forefoot area for room to waggle and a standard instep. Nike also offers a spikeless womens golf shoe with the same quality features.

Whatever you choose to wear, golf shoes are the most basic part of your equipment. Spiked or spikeless, your shoes will make the difference in how you play and the condition of the course. If you are in pain and leaving tread marks all over the turf it’s probably time for a new shoe. Visit the many golf websites on the internet research your option and put your best foot forward to improve your game!

Dedicated to the casual golfer who takes the game seriously, http://www.ruagolfer.net is designed to offer top golf products that perform well yet fit the average golfer’s budget. The company promotes the belief that, “equipment is everything”!

We have partnered with key golf suppliers in the USA to bring the consumer great products at great prices. We do not offer restocks or closeouts with limited selections and buying options. Our product catalog is based on the best products for best performance at the best value for its customers. We bring buyers the most competitive pricing discounts available on the top products in the market today.

Product selection includes one of the widest ranges of men’s and women’s golf shoes and golf balls on the web. Additionally we offer a varied selection of golf bags, push golf carts and golf accessories. We will be introducing golf apparel and Junior Gear within the next few months. Brand names include Adidas, Callaway, Cleveland, Etonic, Nike, TaylorMade, Titleist, TopFlite, Wilson and more.

It’s not hard to imagine Henry David Thoreau living in utter simplicity on his land at Walden Pond in Concord, Massachusetts. Spending only $28.12 on a 10×15 square foot home and living a Spartan lifestyle, he went to the woods to live deliberately, learn life’s lessons and feel a sense of “having lived” when he died.

Nobody wants to go to the grave feeling as if life was wasted. We all want to live completely, fully. But for most of us, living like Thoreau is more of a fantasy. We’re busy earning a living, keeping family responsibilities and saving for retirement.

So here’s the question for those of us fully immersed in a typical 21st century day: rather than retreating to the woods, can we live deliberately, here and now, in the circumstances we currently find ourselves?

The answer is a conditional yes. Yes because the essentials, by definition, are always present. The most essential is your indivisible essence, the core of who you are. It’s impossible to be separated from it. The ‘yes’ is conditional, though, because we need more vigilance to stay focused on the essentials when our busy lives pull and push us off course.

Yoga cultivates that focused awareness to keep our minds here in the present moment. Rather than just a series of postures to open your hips, a yoga mindset can open your heart. By integrating principles of yoga into life on a daily basis, and not just in a weekly Hatha yoga class, a new world of opportunities can be found.

With the knowledge that this moment is inherently whole, relaxation appears. Just trust that where you are now has what you’re looking for. This is yoga. And with this definition, everything is yoga.

Taking Yoga “Off the Mat”

There’s a simple four-step process you can use to cultivate a yoga focus in everyday life. That process is called EASE, an acronym that stands for Experience, Awareness, Self-Reflection and Elect.

Step One: Experience

By watching your own experience closely, you can see the truth of the ever-changing nature of the world. During a in Hatha yoga class, the teacher instructs you to notice your feet connecting with the floor in Tadasana, or to see where your breath resides in Trikonasana. This same level of attention can be brought to everyday circumstances.
Try this exercise. While you are feeling angry, sad, happy or excited about the anticipation of something, notice the answers to these questions:

·-What emotion is present?
·-How is my breathing?
·-What am I saying to myself?
·-How am I behaving?
·-What am I feeling in my body?
·-What is my energy level?

The simple step of noticing your experience while it’s happening, or reflecting upon it later, can immediately illuminate where needless tension is being generated.

Step Two: Awareness

Awareness is the ability we have to broaden our perspective in a given moment. The interpretation of an event comes not from the experience itself, but from where attention is placed. Expanding awareness provides numerous choices for directing attention.
Notice yourself reading these words. What are you aware of? Now turn your attention to your big toe. Notice where it is and how it feels. Is it hot or cold? How does your sock feel against your toe? Can you feel your shoe pushing against it? Can you feel the contact with the adjoining toe?

A moment ago, you were probably oblivious to your big toe. The simple act of bringing your attention to it, however, has expanded your current experience to include these new sensations.

Ask yourself the question, “what else is there in this moment?” Then, relax. Soften your edges, let go of your grip on the rope slightly. Slow down. Step away from the problem.
Awareness holds infinite possibilities.

Step Three: Self-reflection

Self-reflection answers the question, “How do you want to be in this world?” We’re misled when continually asked, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” Regardless of age, some of us still struggle with what we want to do for a living, which implicitly implies that some distant point in the future holds the key to our happiness. A much more present-oriented (and easier) question to answer is how we want to be, which of course could be lived in this very moment.

Answering the question of how we want to be focuses on the values we deem important. Do you want to be loving, courageous, compassionate, or adventurous? Pick one or two ways of being that resonate with you and then use your everyday life as the practice ground for bringing them to life.

Step Four: Elect

The last step of the EASE process is to elect or choose, in a given moment, to act consciously and in accordance with your values. Saying what we value is much easier than actually living it. Life is the testing ground for understanding at a very deep level what these values mean. What does it mean to be patient when your son comes home drunk? What does it mean to be loving when your boss is being demanding and arrogant? What does it mean to be courageous when the fear of rejection is paralyzing?
The practice of life gives us unlimited opportunities to explore the implications of our chosen values.

Life is messy. At times we feel lost, as if we’re wondering hopelessly through an impossible maze, stuck in a confining box. Life, though, is more like a labyrinth. We may feel disoriented, but there is only one path-the one we are on. And the path leads to the center every time, without exception.

Adapted from the book Infinity in a Box: Using Yoga to Live with Ease (http://www.yogawithmegan.net/infinity.html ) by Megan McDonough. Megan helps you get clear in body, mind and spirit so you can get the results you want. Along with teaching yoga, she’s an award-winning writer, consultant and corporate trainer. She’s taught at the famed Kripalu Center, the largest site for yoga and holistic health in the United States and is on the faculty of the Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy Advanced Training.

This article may be freely reprinted or distributed in its entirety in any ezine, newsletter, blog, or website. The author’s name, bio and website links must remain intact and be included with every reproduction.

Movies that were coming from the other side of the planet (US) in late 80s beginning of 90s were not kind of movies that would flow together with your feelings, or open up your mind widely, they were rather: “Cobra”, “Comando”, “Bloodsport” etc.. - not that many Hollywood movies were translated to Russian and available for the general audience (USSR) to watch. So we were not too spoiled with Hollywood classics, so to speak..

Later on, in mid 90s, when I first saw “Billy Madison”, “Happy Gilmore” and, then later on, “The Waterboy”, they were translated so poorly, that seemed extremely dull and stupid - and that was my take on Adam Sandler, and that what I took with me to the 21st century…

Things have changed a lot when “Hollywood doors” opened up to a boundless flow of thousands of new and old movies from US to the former USSR, and, of course, when I got to know English a little better. I watched movie after movie, and little by little everything started to make sense - I learned to see and appreciate the beauty that was always there, that before I’ve never got a chance to see, or the language to understand. That was phenomenal! (well, for me it was).

And I did re-discovered Adam Sandler and his work, it finally got to me after a decade. “The Wedding Singer”, “Big Daddy”, “Mr. Deeds”, “Spanglish” - they all “appeared naked” in front of me, and I could feel their kindness, sincerity, and a big and honest heart!

“Reign over me” shows Adam in slightly different angle. While his character (Charlie Fineman) is sort of a combination of “Punch-Drunk Love”, “Big Daddy” and “Mr.Deeds”, it reveals a new inner perception of the world around him. In the movie Charlie “pairs up” with a successful dentist, his former college roommate, Alan Johnson (Don Cheadle), which creates a bridge between Charlie’s insularity and Alan’s overall life unhappiness. During the movie Alan is trying to help Charlie get through an awful tragedy that lives inside Charlie’s mind and soaked with his whole essence. By helping him, Alan comes to realize that Charlie, in spite of his problems has something that such successful dentist as himself does not have - Charlie is free!

Movie is witty, funny and very sad at the same time. It has this unbelievable power, when you’re watching it, you know it is long, but every 5 minutes, closer to the end, you are alert and constantly worried that it is going to end, when you really want it to be “just a little longer”.

As most of the previous work of Adam Sandler “Reign over me” has a big, kind and honest heart! There are certain people in our world who have this unique talent, and are able to see and feel “This Heart” - others just go to see comedy or call themselves “critics”.

original article: http://blog.dotkam.com/index.php/2007/04/02/the-big-heart-of-the-reign-over-me/

article’s home: http://blog.dotkam.com

Scientific research at Tufts-New England Medical Center has provided evidence that all popular diets work if you can stick to them. Atkins - low carb; The Zone - low glycemic index; Ornish - low fat; Weight Watchers - low calorie.

But researchers have also proven beyond a doubt that very few people can stick to their diet because their appetite is out of control. So to be successful with a diet, hypnosis for weight loss can be quite helpful.

Webster’s Dictionary defines “Appetite” as: “The desire for gratification of some want, craving, or passion.” So “appetite” is eating and drinking for relaxation and pleasure.

Many people confuse hunger with appetite. Hunger is defined as “The body’s call for nourishment.” In other words, when the body needs energy, that’s when you feel bona fide hunger. By that differentiation, it is impossible for you to actually be hungry if you are overweight.

However, it is possible for you to have feelings that you interpret as “hunger.” And the stomach contracting in expectation of being fed causes those feelings.

When you were an infant and you became cranky, your mother would put a bottle into your mouth to distract you from that upset. You would get distracted, become more relaxed and often fall asleep. That sequence was repeated dozens of times so that your unconscious mind was programmed: When something goes into your mouth, you get relaxation and pleasure from it. Now that you are fully grown, if you feel agitated, you crave something in your mouth for relaxation and pleasure - food!

PEOPLE ALSO GET CRAVINGS AND URGES BECAUSE OF CONDITIONING.

When you connect eating with any other action, the other behavior will trigger cravings for food and a strong compulsion to eat. This is called a conditioned response. For example: If you eat when you talk on the phone, you will get an urge to eat every time that you talk on the phone.

WHAT ABOUT COMPULSIVE OVEREATERS WHO EAT BECAUSE OF EMOTIONAL REASONS?

We define a compulsion as an “irresistible impulse.” One of the presuppositions of NLP is: There is a positive intention behind all behaviors. In other words, our mind will only motivate us into behaviors that benefit or protect us in some way. So in NLP terms, being fat is a behavior when it provides a positive outcome for us.

By now you are probably wondering what the possible positive outcomes of being fat just might be. The list of possibilities is as long as the list of people who are grossly overweight. But I’ll give you a classic example: A person gets their heart broken in a relationship. So to protect the self from getting the heart broken again, the unconscious motivates the self to gain weight to keep the self out of relationships and prevent another broken heart.

A big secret to eliminating your appetite is reframing. With an NLP reframe, we respect the fact that the mind is motivating us to consume extra food for relaxation and pleasure. And if we are eating compulsively because being fat is protecting us, we respect that also.

In a neuro-linguistic programming six-step reframe we compromise with our unconscious mind. In the scenario of eating for relaxation and pleasure, we ask our subconscious to assume the responsibility for substituting some new behaviors. The new behaviors must be as effective and available at providing the same relaxation and pleasure. But they must also be more acceptable to us on a conscious level. When the mind is motivating us into alternate behaviors that provide the relaxation and pleasure that we require - we lose our appetite on this score.

If you are a compulsive eater we do an additional reframe. We ask your unconscious to accept responsibility for finding and substituting new behaviors in place of being heavy. These new behaviors must be as effective and available at providing the same positive outcomes. But they must be activities that are more consciously acceptable to you. When your unconscious mind is motivating you into alternate behaviors that provide the same benefits that you require, you lose the feeling of urgency to overeat.

As far as feeling cravings because of conditioning (conditioned responses), we utilize various hypnotic and NLP techniques that erase or “extinguish” those conditioned responses. That breaks the connection between the behaviors, and eliminates the urges and cravings. When your appetite has been obliterated and all of your compulsions to overeat have been dealt with, you can easily stick to any type of healthful diet indefinitely so that it becomes a permanent lifestyle change. Compulsive eating and appetite suppression is a complex topic. I can only broach the surface of it in this article. You can locate several additional articles on this topic in my hypnosis article library on my website.

Alan B. Densky, CH started his practice since 1978. He specializes in the use of Ericksonian hypnosis CD’s for appetite suppression, and Video NLP/hypnosis for weight loss. He also provides a broad range of hypnosis & NLP CD’s for a broad range of other topics and can be reached through his Neuro-VISION Video Hypnosis website.