The range of network marketing and direct sales business options is huge. From candles, beef jerky, vitamins, healthy juices, & beauty; there is something for most every interest.

When choosing a network marketing company, often the focus is on questions such as: what is your passion? or what are your interests?

There is yet another thing to consider in choosing a home based business. You must know and understand, the company’s compensation plan. All network marketing companies are not built the same.

When you are considering a network marketing company, be sure to understand their residual income compensation plan. Some can get quite complicated with the requirements. Be sure to ask what the requirements for each level are.

-Do you understand it?
-Is it simple?
-Can you explain it to others?

Take Caution:
1) If you don’t understand it, how are you going to know what you should be earning.
2) If you can’t explain it, how are you going to train the members of your downline team.
3) If it is not simple, be forewarned, it may deter people from joining your organization.

Build your network marketing business from the start by having a strong understanding of the foundation for your company’s payment plan.

There are a few ‘key formulas’ that network marketing companies use for developing their residual income plan. The summary below simply shows a ‘baseline’ of that type of plan. The variations even within these plans is what makes each company model unique.

-Stairstep Plan. In this option, there is some sort of a stairstep model. The distributor goes up the stairs per say as she reaches new levels of sales&/or team building status. Each level may have a different commission structure and there may be different group or individual sales requirements. Companies vary in terms of the percentage and bonus’ earned at each level.

-Simple Matrix Plan. This type of plan involves the openness to build a network of distributors at varying levels. Typically a distributor adds people to their first line, then the first line adds people to their line. This creates a 2nd line for the first distributor. An open matrix plan does not limit the number of people in each line. The number of lines and the commission earned for each member below a distributor varies with each company. This candle business is an example of an open simple matrix plan. It is one of the easiest plans to understand.

-Forced Matrix Plan. This typically involves some sort of limit on the number of people in a group. When this happens, new distributors are put into the downline structure underneath another distributor who did not initially sponsor them. This can build teamwork or it may promote some lax business practices, while others do the work’. This type of plan rewards the long term network marketer, but at the same time, there is a continuous building process needed to replace people in the first line who may not be productive or who have quit.

-Binary plan. This plan focus’ on a distributor with only two legs in her organization. Commisions are paid when one of the two legs meets a certain sales volume. Depending on the company, sometimes a distributor is paid on the ‘weakest’ leg. There can be other variables and twists as well, so if you are getting involved in a binary plan, be sure to ask for a clear explanation and ask what the group sales level requirements are.

Another tip: Be sure to join a company that allows you to retail your products. Some companies are more of a wholesale buyers club, only with a monthly commitment to purchase. To make the most money, you will want to be able to sell your products, not just the business opportunity.

Make a smart business decision when choosing your company and it’s business plan!
Understand the plan so that you can explain it.

Sarah enjoys sharing how to go green with simple, eco-friendly natural cleaners. Visit http://www.greencleaningkits.com for green cleaning tips and kits.

The longer I am in the Recruiting/Staff Augmentation business the more jaded I become. It is very hard not to get a “doom and gloom” attitude. Very seldom does an ERP project work out the way you intend. Why is that? From our perspective, we see most of our clients and potential clients repeatedly fall into the same trap. You can hear it in their voices and see it in their written responses: They are tired of empty promises.

Implementing a tier one ERP system is not an easy project. In fact, a recent Meta Group report indicates that the average ERP implementation takes 23 months, has a total cost of ownership of $15 million and results in a negative ROI of $1.5 million. According to a report from the Financial Executives Institute, 33% of ERP implementations were “somewhat longer” than expected and 26% were “significantly longer.” The same survey showed that 35% of implementation budgets were “somewhat higher” than expected while 20% where “significantly higher.” There are many ERP disaster stories, which reveal that even some of the largest and most successful companies are not immune to ERP failure. Why is that?

Simply stated, the organizations put too much trust and give too much of the responsibility to the implementation partner. Companies believe that bigger is always better. However, this is not my experience. In fact, I would say that usually a smaller, specialized partner will deliver a better product and a better solution. When you are dealing with a large company that keeps a “bench”, they are going to assign a consultant to your project from their bench. They are more concerned with keeping those people busy, than finding the best consultant for your company. In addition a BIG company means BIG overhead which means a BIG rate charged to YOU!

When we contact potential clients, we are told over and over again that anyone can deliver the services that we offer. Oh really? It is true that any company can deliver stacks of unqualified resumes from the same old job boards. But, how about 2-3 qualified resumes delivered in 3 days? The truth is that our prospective customers don’t even hold out hope for a better way and so continue to tolerate the “service providers” that don’t provide anything, especially not service.

Here are five things to consider when upgrading or implementing ERP systems.

1.-Begin with the end in mind. At the end of your project, you own and will live with the system. You need to control the temporary help you bring in to complete this task.

2.-Don’t hand the keys to the implementation partner and walk away. If you do, you may be surprised when you arrive at a destination very different than what you expected. You are paying for it, not them and you must stay involved every step of the way to ensure that the project stays on track.

3.-Use a customer solutions oriented provider. In other words, use a provider that will listen to what you want and advise on the pros and cons, but ultimately you are the customer.

4.-Find a partner that will extend knowledge transfer to key employees throughout the whole project.

5.-Don’t be afraid to make a change in personnel at anytime during the implementation. Often,
companies tolerate an ineffective consultant because they are afraid that making a change will slip the project timeline. Remember, that no one is bigger than the game. Fixing a personnel problem may be that critical step to keeping your project on time.

In part II of My ERP implementation was a failure, Now what? we will discuss how to accomplish this daunting task.

©2007 Don’t even think about reproducing this material without the permission of Cedrela Consulting, Inc.

For more information, please go to our website at http://www.cedrelaconsulting.com/

You love the look of real wood and have always dreamed of owning
a home with beautiful wood floors. But, is hardwood the best
choice for you? Have you considered a very attractive alternative
laminate wood flooring?

Laminate wood flooring is much less expensive than hardwood
flooring, it’s very durable, and it comes in almost endless colors
and patterns. Laminate flooring can fool the most finicky of
friends. Your friends may very well compliment you on your
beautiful wood floors! You’ll have to decide whether or not to
confess that your floors are laminate.

Most often, friends will be very curious about your laminate
floor and its installation. They will be impressed when they find
out just how easy it is to install a laminate floor — and that
you did it yourself!

Here are five simple steps to follow when installing your new
laminate floor:

1. Prepare the Sub Floor

Since laminate flooring is a “floating” floor your preparations
will be minimal. The “sub floor” is the floor you are installing
the laminate flooring on. You can install laminate flooring over
tile, vinyl, concrete, natural stone, etc. The main point to
ensure is that the floor is level and flat. Make sure that you
remove any old carpet nails or lumps of glue that are ¼ inch high
or higher. Any holes that are larger than three inches should be
filled in. Be sure to clean the sub floor — remove debris,
dirt, dust, etc before beginning your project.

2. Determine the Amount of Flooring Needed

Measure the length and width of the room where the new floor will
be installed. Multiply the width times the length to get the
square footage of the room.

For example, a room that is 12 ft wide and 14 ft long would be
168 square feet. To simplify, round off the number to 170 square
feet. If the brand of laminate flooring you are using comes in
planks in a box of approximately 17 square feet, you will need
about 10 boxes of flooring. You will need to add 5-10% more
flooring due to waste when the boards are cut or for the few
mistakes that may occur as you are learning. To be sure you will
have enough, and extra is always better than running out, you need
to buy about 20 boxes of laminate flooring for the 12 ft by 14 ft
room.

Don’t forget to buy the under layment - a 1/8 inch thick
cushioned plastic that goes under the laminate and works as a
moisture barrier and a sound barrier. The under layment comes in
rolls about three feet wide by about 150 feet long. You will need
the same number of square feet of flooring and under layment.

3. Determine Which Direction to Lay the Floor

Generally, you will want to lay the floor planks parallel to the
light that enters the room.

4. Start Laying Your New Laminate Floor

Roll out the under layment across the length of the room in the
direction you will be laying your floor. Cut the under layment
to fit all the way across the floor with an overlap of about an
inch on each end.

Lay out a row of planks to determine how many will fit.
Beginning in the corner, lay the first plank on top of the under
layment. Place ¼ inch spacers between the plank and the wall on
the end and sides of the plank. Make sure that the under layment
comes up higher along the wall than the laminate plank. Lay the
second plank along the short side of the first plank and snap them
together. Continue this until you can no longer place a whole
plank on the floor.

At this point, you will need to measure how long of a plank you
will need to fill the remaining spot. Using an electric handsaw,
you can easily cut the plank. Snap that piece into place and your
first row is completed.

Use the cut piece as the first plank in the second row. On this
row and continuing rows, you will snap the plank onto the long
side of the previous row. The subsequent planks will be snapped
into place on the long side of the previous row but than also must
be snapped into the short side of the new row. You will need to
use a hammer and a special block to gently move the new plank into
position. Continue this process until all rows are complete.

5. Finish the Edges

Now all you need is to finish the edges. Add baseboards or ¼
round trim to the edges of the room to create a finished look.
Also, install door jams to separate your new laminate flooring
from other types of flooring.

At this point, your floor should look fabulous. Congratulate
yourself on a job well done. Replace your furniture and invite a
few friends over to enjoy your new floor with you. Chances are
you will receive many compliments.

Don’t choose your new laminate wood floor, or any other flooring, without taking a few miniutes to find out what’s available and what will fit your lifestyle and budget the best. Learn more tips for href="http://www.makinghomeimprovements.com">making home improvements and learn more about href="http://www.makinghomeimprovements.com/laminate-flooring.html">laminate wood flooring.

This one is just for my copywriting colleagues. If you’re not one of us, you may be able to glean some good info from this article, but the truth of it is, if you’re not a copywriter, I didn’t write this for you.

I used article marketing to build my copywriting business into a strong brand that got me exposure across the United States and even in some other countries such as England and Australia. Clients were coming from several different sources and my fledgling business writing business took off.

Here’s how I did it:

1. I started to publish an e-mail newsletter. I learned about these things when I was still in the working world. I did an article on a company that used these newsletters to boost their business. When I started my own firm I decided to use ezines to promote myself. Fax newsletters were just too expensive, unreliable and tough to track. Ezines were the exact opposite.

2. I started writing articles for each issue of the ezine. These articles were directed toward a specific audience - small business owners and/or home-based businesses. I wanted to show them I knew what I was talking about when it came to writing. Pretty soon I developed a dedicated following.

3. I began to publish articles online. Once I published my articles on directories things really took off. I saw so much traffic flowing into my Web site. It was incredible. I just checked my stats the other day and the steady stream of dedicated, targeted traffic is still coming to my site.

Client Streaming System in a Nutshell

To get that steady stream of clients, follow this system: Create an ezine, write an article and publish that article online. The results you’ll get are:

• targeted traffic to your Web site

• more of the “right”clients

• a steady stream of clients for your copywriting company.

If you’re a copywriter worth your salt you already know how to adapt templates and article formats so that they fit your message. So what are you waiting for, start taking a few hours out of your day to start an ezine, write a few articles and send them out to your list of clients.

This will bring you:

• repeat clients

• new business (those “dream clients” who pay on time and are eager to give you more work), and

• More media exposure.

A quick word on media exposure: As a result of my efforts in article marketing I was published in two major books in marketing and copywriting, one 99 Cows by Seth Godin (big time marketing guru) and The Well-Fed Writer: Back for Seconds by Peter Bowerman (copywriting expert and the guy who inspired me to start my own firm).

This all came from the system I developed using my Web site, ezines and articles.

My final piece of advice: Start today - get a Web site or blog right now. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. You may be doing just fine without a site or blog, but one fine day that stream of business that you thought would never go away may just shrink in size. Plus your blog or Web site could be the deciding factor for a client who’s considering hiring you.

You can get a blog at no cost by visiting www.blogger.com

Lisa Sparks is a veteran of the article marketing world, having published several hundred articles and authored an acclaimed book on the subject entitled, “Power Words.” Her follow-up to that book, “Article Secrets Revealed” is now a step-by-step home study course. Visit http://www.articlesecretsrevealed.com for more details.

Credit is essential these days. A person needs credit to be able to do almost everything, from buying a car to getting a utility turned on. Bad credit can be quite costly. That is why debt management is so important. Debt management is the way you acquire and handle your debt so that you can afford it.

The key to debt management is understanding your finances. You have to have a budget and you have to know what you can and can not afford. That may seem simple, but credit is actually designed to help you get what you can not afford and that is why many people end up with credit problems.

The whole idea of credit is to offer you a loan so you can buy something you would otherwise not be able to afford. You are borrowing money. The simplest way to avoid debt is to not borrow at all, but then you would not be building your credit, which, as mentioned is very important. You have to learn how to borrow responsibly.

You have to be smart about credit and debt. Part of good debt management is setting limits for yourself. Do not let your debt get out of control. You can use credit cards or get loans as long as you can afford them. Most people get some type of loan during their life. A good example is an auto loan. Most people can not afford to pay upfront for a car, so they get a loan.

For someone who is careful about their debt, they will make sure they can afford the loan. They will figure it into their expenses and if they can not afford it they will pass it up and try a different option. Someone who is not managing their debt would simply take the loan and figure out how they could afford it later. This is what leads to debt problems.

Debt management involves going through your finances. You have to list all of your expenses and you income. Your expenses should never be more than your income. If this is the case then you need to learn how to manage your debt. You may have to cut expenses, if at all possible to get them lower than your debt.

Once you understand your debt you can then manage it. Lets say your expenses per month are $1000 and your income is $1500. You would have $500 extra each month. You have some options of what you can do with that money. You could put it into a savings account where it will build interest.

You could pay extra on some of outstanding debt to help pay it off sooner or you could take on more debt. The chose is yours, but always keep in mind that you should never spend more than you make or you will fall victim to bad credit and debt.

By conducting good debt management you will find yourself enjoying a good credit rating. This will open many doors for you and allow you more financial freedom.

James Copper writes on all areas of finance and investment. He works for Any Loans who offer debt consolidation solutions to UK residents. James has helped many hundreds of people over the years become debt free and get their finances back on track. He recommends a secured loan or remortgage as the best solution if possible.

Speech writing is a talent, and like playing basketball, it is a fact that some people will do it better naturally than others. However, exactly like playing sports of any kind, it is also something that that you can get better at with practice. In this article I am going to explore several techniques as to how you can improve your speech writing abilities, and also how to approach writing a speech for ceratin different circumstances. Whether it be for a wedding, where perhaps you are the best man, or for an important business meeting where you really need to impress.

First though the good news!

The good news is that you are already a ’speech writer’. You just don’t know it yet! Ok. What do I mean? Simple. The truth is that you have already spoken to people before. You have already been constructing dialogue long before the harrowing thought of having to write it down and deliver it came into the equation. You speak to your friends, family and work colleagues (though maybe not your boss!) without having to pre-plan everything you say. You just react. Well, the good news is that writing a speech is not really any different from that. It simply takes the process one step further along and has you writing it down.

Where the panic sometimes comes in is that to write a great speech there are three further elements that are useful to consider. The first of these is empathy. Speech writing is an empathetic medium. It is concerned both with connecting with yourself, but also with your audience. In a sense it is all about building bridges. And the best speeches are always going to be where the audience empathise with you or your message. In a way it is a bit like being a surfer. As you deliver a great speech it is as though you are riding a wave of emotions, both internally, but also in the mind of your listeners. And the more engaged they are with the message and sentiment of your speech, the more they will connect with it and get benefit from it.

Empathy is something however that can be taught. The ‘trick’ is trigger points. And no, I don’t mean that you should shoot your audience to make them like you! No. What you have to realise is that every great speech has trigger points. Moments where the speech builds to a crescendo, and a memorable line or sentiment is delivered. What this means for your speech writing is that you should tailor the speech so that every so often the speech has these points. It could be a moment of great passion. Like in Martin Luther Kings ‘I Have a Dream’ speech where he uttered those lines. Or moments of comedy perhaps if you are delivering a best mans speech. Remember to write them in.

The second element of a great speech that you must have is momentum. Speeches are defined by the momentum they create. In the same way that a good book has a beginning, a middle and an end, a great speech is one where the tension is building until the end before being released. The audience should never feel this lapse, because it is in the building of this tension that you create the momentum that drives the speech forward and keeps people interested. This is one of the key failings with most speeches, namely that they lack direction. They end up being a convoluted collection of anecdotes, but without a driving momentum. Every speech must have a message.

The third key element is Practice. Never underestimate the value of repetition. Drill that speech so far into your head that you could deliver it under any pressure. It was said of the Romans - ‘Their drills were like bloody wars. And their wars were like bloody drills’. The point is that they practiced! They didn’t control an empire for over 1000 years for nothing. And the same is true of your speech writing.

So, get busy. Get writing. Speak with Passion. Empathise with your audience. Draw them in. Deliver trigger points throughout. Build to a crescendo, and remember to practice. It makes perfect.

Want more information about writing a KILLER speech? Then read our speech writinghow to guide at http://www.anecdote.org Where we have a world of writing resources at your fingertips, including Topics for Persuasive Writing information.

There are many things you may do on the internet at home to make a
living. Working from home has a number of advantages, including:

- Spend more time with your family

- Be less stressed

- Be your own boss

- Create your own flexible schedule

- Find time to take care of all those extra errands without sneaking away from the office

- Enjoy the relaxed environment of working out of your home

These advantages are available to anyone that’s willing to put in some time and effort to make their online, home-based businesses work for them. As with any job, you get back what you put in, and not having a boss checking up on your every move can give you the freedom to put in your best quality work, since you’re doing it for yourself.

One popular line of work that can be done from home is website designing. Though this requires some creativity, it mostly requires the knowledge of computer programming and design software. Anyone doing business on the internet needs an eye-catching website and the truth is that many people that start online businesses don’t have these skills.

Another creative and fun way to make money from home is writing. With the internet, opportunities for writers are virtually limitless now. Companies seek writers to communicate their product offerings to potential customers or to write creative advertising to draw traffic to their sites. Informational writing is also a great way to make money from home. Everyone wants to find exactly what they want right away on the internet, and that information doesn’t just magically appear. Someone is getting paid to write that, and that person is most likely working from home.

Multi level marketing is also one of the easy home worker ideas. This can be a bit tricky so make sure are choosing the right one. Choose one that sells proper products and provides good plans. If you have a knack for selling this one is for you. You should also have people skills and be able to work with a lot of different people everyday.

Some people say they do not have any start up capital to start an online business and they do not have any internet marketing skills. They hate selling products to people. They just want to make some part time money online but they did not know how to do it. But right now there is one more business opportunity for you to make money online. It is email marketing. All you need to do is to purchase a affiliate program of your choice and rent emails from a reputable email website and start sending emails to them and in 24 hours you will start to see results.

These are just a few home worker ideas. The fact is that thousands upon thousands of people are making their living working at home. With a little hard work, anyone can make a lot of money working from home, and the best part is that you can start today.

Winson Lim is an Internet Home Business Expert who specializes in Online Businesses. He is with a team of enthusiastic online entrepreneurs who are experiences growth in their home business and recently made a sales of $10,045 in only 24hrs just by sending 5 emails without a list and a website. Find out how you can get into the action NOW at this web site http://www.success-online-secrets.com

Is DayDreaming Being Brain Dead?

Did your 3rd grade teacher ever call you out as a DayDreamer? Would you be insulted if today, one of your peers, supervisor or partner accused you of daydreaming?

Researchers at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro call it Wandering
Mind. Would you believe college students tested appear to daydream up to
33% of their waking hours? This study appears in the journal of the Association
for Psychological Science July, 2007.

Professor Michael Kane of UNCG believes, if you want to understand the human mind and its activities, neuroscientists must discover the secrets of attention and
concentration. Two Questions: why does our attention wander, and how come some
people daydream only 10% of the time while others more than 40%?

There appears to be a link between Working-Memory Capacity (WMC), a form of
intelligence test, and how often we stop to daydream about extraneous subjects.

The better your memory, the less your mind wanders. It appears that studying,
being interactive in class or participating in corporate meetings require attention and concentration. Folks with higher WMC also ace producing innovative results
when working in a team setting.

Attention And Concentration

Successful speed reading requires the use of a Pacer in the form of a handheld laser
pen, an ordinary pen, and finally using your computer cursor to underline and chunk (separate) groups of words in each sentence.

The use of a pacer activates a human instinct; using your peripheral vision. We call it the principle of our eyes following a moving object, in this case the underlining by
one of your three pacers. The fancy scientific name for the secret of speed reading is Vestibulo-Ocular-Reflex Also/Known/As Fresh Pursuit Tracking. It is the ability
of our mind to focus and fix our attention and concentration on a single task.

Concentration inhibits daydreaming. The most powerful strategy to avoid mind-wandering and focusing your concentration is being interactive with the material
you are reading or listening to. Ask yourself these magical four questions while learning: Why? How? Which? and What-if?

We tested three thousand graduates who used a pacer while searching for the answers to these four questions while listening to lectures or studying. Their results in learning improved up to 35%; mind wandering reduced up to 33%. They paid more attention and concentrated better using a pacer, and focusing on discovering the answers to these four powerful questions.

Are DayDreamers Dumb?

The average untrained college graduate reads at an average of 250 words per minute with a comprehension of up to 70%. A lecturer delivers his ideas to a class at an average of 150 words per minute.

Neuroscientists suggest the average college student comprehends language he reads and hears at up to 500 words per minute. There is an excess mental capacity of 50%.

Seriously, the reason for a massive 33% of daydreaming is because you are too smart. Your mind wanders because it gets bored by not being fully occupied.

If you desire to use up to 100% of your mind during learning and studying and avoid daydreaming, use your pacer to focus attention, and ask yourself questions to trigger your concentration. You will release your inner brilliance and frighten your competition.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

There are three major systems to permanently acquire new skills.

a)-Observation and apprenticeship. Humans are natural copycats and quickly learn and remember what they see in action.

b) Trail-and-error: negative feedback is a powerful tool for learning. When we try something new and make a mistake, our higher executive-brain, (pre-frontal cortex) extracts and remembers the error for future comparison. The next time we attempt the new skill, we remember to avoid the original error. Learning to drive a car, ride a bike, and using your computer, are examples of trial-and-error producing new permanent skills. You are already an expert in successfully using this learning method.

c) Listening to a description of how to learn the new skill. Very few learn to drive a car by hearing a lecture or reading a book;trail-and-error is a requirement. Did you learn to drive by your parents telling you how to do it?

Is there a law that requires we use only one of these methods? Thousands of speed readers successfully combine a), b), and c) methods.

Imitative Learning

A recent study on imitative learning by Dr. Sekuler at Brandeis University appeared in the Journal of Vision March 20, 2007. It focuses on non-verbal learning and suggests merely seeing the new skill executed by another is enough to imprint it on your brain.

Examples of learning through imitation include tying your shoes, feeding yourself,
producing a knot for your tie, and holding a pen. Watching and imitating what you saw your parent or sibling doing is a major factor in learning new skills. How did you get good at surfing the Internet? First you discovered the moves, tested them through trial-and-error, and finally practiced until it was captured by your auto- pilot brain structure (hippocampus).

The Big Secret

Attention and concentration is the secret of imitative learning. We mentally break down each new motor skill into specific chunks. A chunk is an isolated step in organizing a new skill. Integrating the steps produces the specific strategy to access your new skill in the future. Is that how you learned to use a microwave?

Point-and-click on your computer is now automatic and a habit. You had to learn it originally step-by-step until it entered your Dentate Gyrus located in your
hippocampus for long-term memory. Today it operates on auto-pilot, right?

Reading

The average college graduate learns to read in the 3rd grade and spends the rest of
his/her life reinforcing the skill of mentally hearing just one multi-syllable word at a time. Naturally, they become experts at it and almost impervious to reading faster.

Random spacing is reading wherever you eye falls without a particular strategy; it
limits your reading to snailing up to 250 words per minute. Specific-Guidance is
used by speed readers who are trained to chunk (read groups) of words in each sentence. It requires the use of your peripheral-vision and a pacer to guide your eyes to chunk (group) multiple words in each sentence.

For Brilliant Stars

You may want to remember you have a horizontal ability to read up to six-words
simultaneously. Graduates triple their original reading speed for life, and read and
remember three-books, articles and reports in the time others can hardly finish one.

We have a vertical (up-and-down) reading skill of 130 degrees, and a horizontal view of 180 degrees. A speed reading graduate reads up to 1,000 words per minute with
a comprehension of up to 80%. Imagine tripling your reading skills and doubling your memory. Would it put you in the fast-lane at school and career?

See ya,

copyright © 2007
H. Bernard Wechsler

Author of Speed Learning for Professionals, published by Barron’s; partner of
Evelyn Wood, creator of speed reading, graduating two million, including the
White House staffs of four U.S. Presidents.

Interviewed by the Wall Street Journal and fortune Magazine for major articles.

http://www.speedlearning.org
hbw@speedlearning.org

Women will occasionally find themselves in heated arguments. Sometimes, people’s views and opinions will come in conflict and create drama. Every now and then these conversations can lead to more difficult situations. Knowing how to be assertive in a nice way can prevent an argument from blowing up and may even help one win an argument.

Learning how to be an assertive woman consists of two things: one is the tendency towards a positive attitude, and the other is audacity. Assertiveness means that you possess a kind of boldness; the boldness to let your views and opinions be heard.

At the root of audacity is the confidence that your views and opinions are true. Having confidence in your beliefs causes you to have the boldness to disclose or pass on to others what you have to say. And, conversely, you will have the courage to defend and stand up for your views against people who may disagree of feel differently than you do.

An assertive woman’s assertiveness is also joined by a positive outlook. She speaks with an attitude that is positive despite a subject that may be about things that are negative. The reason for this is because a person who has a negative attitude runs the risk of loosing his or her composure and possibly saying things that could either be regretted later, or not support the argument’s merits. Be sure to think carefully about the words you use and don’t just ramble on. More words is not a sign of assertiveness. It will not help you win the person you are speaking with and may be considered rude.

An assertive person is not one who tries to find the balance between passivity and aggressiveness; but is a different idea all together. It simply means that when you are in an argument, that you will not be bullied to compromise your beliefs or values. It means that you will stand your ground. It is conveying every thought and every word with grace and elegance in order to expose the truth that you hold. This means there is no need to belittle or insult, but, because you have the power of truth on your side, grace, elegance, and poise are yours to wield.

Be sure you have thought through your facts. Be able to back up the things you want to say. Know in advance, if possible, the counter arguments that might come and be prepared to answer them. Look at it is from the point of view of the other person. Step into their shoes and try to understand why they are taking the position that they are. This can allow you to see flaws in the other person’s argument, or, possibly, cause you to change your own opinion if that is what the truth dictates.

Learning how to be an assertive woman is the skill of learning to convey the truth. The truth brings with it confidence. Assertive confidence has nothing to do with changing the mind of your opponent, but has everything to do with ensuring that your opinions, beliefs, and feelings are heard. This is assertiveness.

Oprah Winfrey calls it “the disease to please.” Learn the cure here:
How To Be An Assertive Woman

One of the greatest gifts of love is the act of listening. In order to become a better listener, you must first acknowledge and become aware of patterns that prevent you from being in the present moment. As Phil McGraw says, “You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge.”

I acknowledge that I am a rescuer. I love to help people “fix” their problems. Ironically, the same skills that make me a good speaker or business person can prevent me from being a good listener.

The gifts that give me my wit, such as being a quick thinker and fast talker can burden my relationships as I interrupt, finish sentences and completely control the conversation of those who speak and think more slowly than I do.

Becoming aware of patterns is painful but it can be the truth that sets you free. Two things are clear to me: Excellent listening promotes better relationships both personally and professionally and very few of us are self-aware enough to change our listening patterns.

Not long ago I witnessed a stellar example of good listening and an example of inferior listening. I’m proud to say the good listener was my mother and I regret to say the inferior listener was I.

My mom and I were attending a social event and entered into conversation with a woman, who I will call Mary. Mary was going through some personal distress including making medical decisions for her aging mother who was in the hospital with no hope of recovering and with health issues too sever to consider home care.

Mary was obviously distraught as she shared her sorrow and frustrations of accepting the doctor’s recommendation to put her loved one in a nursing home. Mary talked about how she longed to please her mother, who still had all her mental faculties, and how difficult it was to make this decision as she reversed roles with her mother and how the daunting task of finding the best nursing home and how dealing with the financial issues was overwhelming.

Another person joined in giving her two cents worth with suggestions beginning with phrases such as, “What you really need to do,” and “If I were you…”

In contrast, I observed my mother listening without interrupting, nodding occasionally without offering any advice. She gave complete attention to the woman who was speaking. She avoided the temptation to say, “I know how you feel,” or “I’ve been there too,” or “I just lost my own mother two months ago.”

As I observed, I knew my mom must have been feeling like she was hearing her own story repeated: Mom had just buried her own mother, my grandmother only a few months earlier and had dealt with some of the same issues that Mary was now facing.

I found myself wanting to comfort Mary, give advice, tell her where she could find the best nursing home and what she should expect as things progressed. I even said, “Well you are talking to someone who has just been through what you are going through,” referring to my mother. “You two need to exchange phone numbers,” I said again, giving more unwanted advice.

My mom finally spoke: “Mary, the best thing you can do is to do your research and look at as many nursing homes as you possibly can, and ask questions so that you can be sure in your own mind that you made the right decision for you, because every one’s situation is different.”

Later, when we were in the car going home, I told my mother that I thought she was a good listener. We discussed the fact that no one ever really knows how another person feels and it’s impossible to put yourself in someone’s shoes.

Good listening means we put our own agenda’s aside, be in the present moment and ask ourselves the question: “What does the listener need from me right now,” instead of “how can I become the hero and have all the answers?”

Marlene Chism works with people who want to stop the drama and take charge of their lives.
To learn more about life purpose, the Karpman Triangle or the Three Life Tragedies go to http://www.stopyourdrama.com Marlene is available for speaking engagements by calling 1. 888.434.9085.