A promise is a cloud: Fulfillment is rain.
~Arabian Proverb
As difficult as it is to say, I have broken a few promises that I have made throughout my lifetime. Not on purpose, mind you, but mostly by omission. I’d make the promise, diligently work at following through, then be faced with a challenge or something out of my experience or expectations, and in the interest of self preservation or self something, temporarily forget about the promise and go in a different direction. Let me explain.
Let’s start with some of the small ones. “I promise Dad, I’ll study as hard as I can.” Sounds innocent enough doesn’t it? But this promise never took in the fact that I was a teenage boy, and sports, girls and anything but study was what I was about back then. I had no sooner stated that promise than I was on my way out the door. I promised what I. I couldn’t keep.
Ok, how about, “I promise sweetheart, I’ll do that yard work or (insert chore here) on the weekend”. Three months later, it’s still not done. I meant it at the time, but other things became more important… like avoiding it. I promised what I didn’t really want to keep.
The day Shannan, my first beautiful daughter was presented to me by the doctor in the birthing room, I held her, looked into her eyes, and fell head over heels in love with her and promised her that I would never let anything or anyone hurt her. Well, life can often get in the way as they learn to live and to love. Actually, she is much stronger today because I wasn’t always able to keep all of that promise. She has learned to become a strong young woman completely capable of taking care of herself. Actually the same can be said for our other two kids as well. I promised what I had no way of keeping.
We promise for a number of reasons, like self preservation or avoiding a consequence. “I promise I’ll be good” or “I promise I’ll never do that again.” We also make promises because we want to make a change or create a pleasant future state. “I promise to honour, love and cherish…” or to state an intention… “I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth…” Some people promise to manipulate…”Mr. Prospect, this is the best product in the world, you will LOVE it…”
Promises are necessary for connecting and creating accountability, but it’s often the reasons that we make promises that should come under examination. If we take this as a subject for study, we’ll probably find that we often promise things that we are sometimes not able or capable of delivering. Oh, the intention at the time was good, but life got in the way. I’m not making excuses for broken promises; actually, I’m stating the opposite. What I’m saying is, unless you are 100% committed to what it is that you are promising, and you don’t have the evidence, ability and intention to back up your words, then don’t.
In business, some people promise their clients the moon, but once the deal is inked, the moon barely becomes a small foothill because of broken promises. It often happens that once the sale is made, they (salespeople) usually hand off the service of the client to another department, and then forget about it because they feel that they have done their part. It would appear that once the intensity of the moment wanes, so too does the enthusiasm. Then they never follow up until they want to make another sale to that same client. This is one of the reasons that salespeople are so mistrusted today. They have been given a bad name by the “Herb Tarliks’” (WKRP in Cincinnati) of the world who, instead of under promising and over delivering, often over promise and under deliver, leaving customers frustrated and a bit gun shy for the next salesperson who comes along.
To make and keep a promise, we must “sign on” to it. Like writing a vision for our business or our lives, there are three fundamentals we must make to make it come alive and have a life of existence:
- 1. You must create in your minds a successful picture of what making the promise will actually create or do for you. See the results in your mind first, and then create what you see.
- 2. Be committed to the promise by using positive actions every day to follow up on your pledge. Actions create habits.
- 3. Make sure that when making the promise that you use powerful words that you can connect to, to move you and keep you in action.
Just by following these three simple steps, you will find that people will come to trust you more, and you will be winning friends and influencing people.
This week, be the kind of person that, when making a vow or a promise, people will know and have confidence that you are a person of truth and action. They will know because you always deliver on what you say. There are not many truer callings than that.
Make this your best week ever.
Paul
For 22 years, Paul Kearley has thrived in the personal development and coaching business. As a Master Coach for the past 10 years, Paul’s passion is in developing and creating increased potential with both clients and other trainers.
A columnist for two newspapers in Eastern Canada, and editor for his own weekly ezine, Paul writes articles that address the everyday challenges we all have and face in life and in business, and offers suggestions for success.
If you’d like to connect with Paul or subscribe to “E-Motion” his weekly ezine, simply goto the web site at http://www.mustfactor.com or by calling 506 433 4722.