It’s been nearly 3 months since I left my long-term boyfriend, my puppy, my job and my home in Boston to move to Park City, UT. After years of trying to make a life that wasn’t mine fit like a square peg in a round hole, I finally decided to seek out a more fulfilling and authentic existence. I took a chance, left everything I knew, and have been trying to create a whole new life ever since. Has my experience (so far) changed me? Definitely. Has it been difficult? Absolutely. Would I do it all over again? In a heartbeat. And here’s why….
What I’ve Learned From Living an Unsettled Life:
1) It’s okay to receive help from others. Being an incredibly independent and self-sufficient person has its benefits. You feel like you have control over your life. You can do what you want. You feel confident that if need be, you can survive on your own…. But here’s the downside: that “I can do it myself” attitude doesn’t allow you to experience the connection that comes from simply receiving goodwill from someone else. Actually allowing someone to help you requires a little humility, which I’ve never really been all that comfortable with. To me, it’s always seemed easier to appear strong and capable, and to just do everything myself. But what I’ve learned is that humans are generally very generous people. It makes us feel good to lend a helping hand. And something I’ve missed over the years, as an Independent Wo-Man, was feeling that appreciation and gratitude when someone else helped me, just make my life a little easier. Receiving that sort of kindness from someone else has softened me in a good way.
2) You can’t always plan everything. You may remember an article I wrote a few months ago, entitled “Planners vs. Doers”. In that article, I described my need to make plans and organize my life down to every last detail. Making so many big changes all at once has actually taught me to “go with the flow” a little more. My natural inclination is to plan everything out, so I know what to expect. But lately the more I’ve tried to plan, the more my plans have failed miserably. So instead, I’ve been practicing just letting things unfold naturally, and responding to each moment as it comes up. I listen to my instincts a little more these days. As a result, my life is evolving in ways I never would have imagined.
3) It’s okay to be scared. There’s an excitement to re-creating your life. All of a sudden, anything is possible and the world is full of new opportunities. However, I’ve certainly had my share of days where I’ve wondered, “what was I thinking?!” Not knowing what’s going to happen next can be exciting at times, but it can also bring up a lot of fears. At first, I resisted feeling scared. I told myself to snap out of it and go do something productive to feel better. But one day I just decided to embrace the fear. I stopped trying to fix it, or talk myself out of it, or ignore it. I just allowed myself to be really scared. I accepted what I was feeling, and within a day or two, the excitement returned and I felt okay. I’m sure I’ll have more “off” days, but I’ve come to really appreciate the “off” days just as much as the “good” days. Those raw feelings indicate that I’m on a life-changing journey; one that is unpredictable, real and pure.
Would I like to be settled again one day? Sure… that sounds pretty nice, especially these days. But I’m also trying to appreciate this experience for what it is: a chance to explore who I really am and what I really want; a chance to test my limits a little; a chance to carve out a life for myself that makes me truly happy. We all have the ability to make great changes in our lives. The question is: how will you feel when you actually do it?
About the author: Sarah M. Schultz, MA, CPC is a certified
Personal Development Coach in Park City, UT. Sarah coaches
quarterlifers (adults in their 20s and 30s) who want to create
meaning and passion in their lives by building lasting committed
relationships, creating a fulfilling work/life balance, and
managing the stress of major life transitions. Receive your
free copy of her Special Report: “Five Steps to Creating a Life
You Love!” on her website at:
http://www.newheightslifecoaching.com