I’ve heard it so many times: “we just don’t have any time for each other,” or “we had so much fun together when we first started dating, and now it’s a big night if we go to bed at the same time.” So many couples get bogged down in daily life, and forget that relationships should be fun! We should enjoy our time with our significant other. There will always be daily hassles to deal with – you can’t avoid it. So it’s important to create that special time for your relationship, where you can re-connect and bring back that lovin’ feeling. And even though your relationship probably won’t include that overall feeling of excitement that it did in the beginning, there are a few things you can do to re- create those feelings from the early days when you couldn’t stop smiling:
1. Think about how you felt when you first started dating your significant other. Did you get butterflies in your stomach? Did you lie awake at night thinking about their cute little smile? Take yourself back to the days when they didn’t have any faults, when everything was brand new and the possibilities for your relationship were limitless. Just remembering this stage of your relationship will help bring you back to that “puppy love” frame of mind.
2. Schedule at least one “date night” during the week when you and your honey can have some alone time. Set aside an hour or two every week where certain topics are off limits: chores, work stress, ongoing relationship issues, etc. Use this time to talk about your plans for the future or to re-connect after a busy week. Don’t worry about where the date is – have a glass of wine together in the living room after the kids fall asleep, or schedule breakfast early on the weekends. The point is to make some time in your weekly routine for the positive things in your relationship.
3. Do something together that neither of you have done before. Go skydiving, explore a nearby town, go for a bike ride in a new area. Just doing something fresh and different wakes up your spirit in a way that your normal routine can’t. And experiencing this new event with your partner will help you associate excitement and fun with them.
The bottom line: don’t take your relationship for granted, and get creative. Every relationship goes through stages, and after the initial rush wears off, we just have to get a little resourceful when it comes to putting the magic back into our relationship. But it is possible to get those initial feelings of love and tenderness back - and it’s usually pretty fun! And it’s something that every happy couple needs to keep going. Good luck and have fun!
About the author: Sarah M. Schultz, MA, CPC is a certified
Personal Development Coach in Park City, UT. Sarah coaches
quarterlifers (adults in their 20s and 30s) who want to create
meaning and passion in their lives by building lasting committed
relationships, creating a fulfilling work/life balance, and
managing the stress of major life transitions. Receive your
free copy of her Special Report: “Five Steps to Creating a Life
You Love!” on her website at:
http://www.newheightslifecoaching.com.