THE INCREDIBLE, AWESOME YOU

Who decides how lovable we are or how valuable we are?

One answer would be our friends and family. Another answer would be ourselves. Unfortunately, some of us allow others to define us, and we tend to value other people’s opinions of us over our own.

In researching self-worth and self-esteem in women, I learned a very important fact. I learned that a woman’s spouse or boyfriend contributes to over 80% of what she thinks about herself. Her self-esteem is defined by how he relates to her and treats her. That places a woman’s significant other in an ultra powerful position.

I am inclined to believe that women are born with an innate need for a man’s love. Why else would I have remained in unsatisfying relationships time after time? I am also led to believe that just because a woman is born with such an innate need doesn’t mean she can’t change things around.

Who says someone else has to define our worth?

Why can’t we define our own self-worth? The answer is: We can! The key is for women to realize that they can, indeed, define their own self-worth without the approval of a man or anyone else.

Any woman, at any time, has the power today to decide for herself that she is beautiful, lovable and worthy of everything life has to offer and not because she says so or because I say so, but because it is so.

For those women interested in building their self-esteem and self-worth, I offer one major suggestion to get you started:

Avoid or limit contact with people who make you feel bad about who you are or who just make you feel bad (on a scale from 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, my self-esteem shot up from 5 to 12, off the chart, just by divorcing my husband).

Your assignment for this week is to make a list of everything you have accomplished in your life, everything you are good at and the one thing about you that makes you special. It can be your smile, your excellent cooking, or your great hair.

And finally, learn to sing yourself praises. Because I promise you, if you show the world how much you love and adore yourself (without coming off as conceited), they will follow suit. And, you can write that one down.

My accomplishments:

What I’m good at:

One thing that makes me special:

by Jessie Jamie Coleman

Jessie Jamie Coleman is an author, screenwriter, freelance writer and a self-esteem expert. She is the author of two self-discovery journals, “The Incredible, Awesome You” and “Where Will You Be in Two Years.” For more information, visit her website: http://www.autumngirlpress.com and http://www.jessiejamiecoleman.com