Why Do Some People Succeed When Others Don’t Even Though They ALL Start The Same Way?

Have you noticed the funny occurrence that takes place in virtually every society and amongst all classes of people? By this I refer to the fact, for instance, that:

a. some people attend the same classes/seminars and listen to the same lectures, get the same handouts from the same lecturers and yet perform differently from each other in the final tests and exams. But later on in life, when working jobs, you will hear some complain thus: “How come s/he got chosen to start with that big a salary(or that high a position)? – after all, we both have the same degree from the same school!”

b. Certain employees working in companies/at jobs where they EACH have a PC at their OWN desks - solely dedicated to their daily use – cannot use the PC as well as those who have to share one PC with many others daily in their workplaces.

c. There are certain people who always complain that the reason why they have been unable to achieve similar outputs as their colleagues(who do the exact same kind of job they do) is that they don’t have “time”. Yet when they are closely studied in terms of how they spend THEIR time at work and/or away from it, a distinct trend of poor allocation of priorities on the part of these “excuse-givers” is easily and clearly established.

d. Some other people are always eager to learn to do what they see/hear a colleague or friend do so well(e.g. speak a foreign language like French)… that is UNTIL s/he tells them how many night classes/late reading they may have to do like s/he did - while still working the same 8 to 5 job they all do!

Yeah, this last one I can relate well to. Agh! There seem to be many people who want to be able to do what another person does so well - without putting in the needed time and effort! This kind of people often KNOW they have what it takes to do it, and typically point out to anyone who cares to listen that “I can do what s/he does - there’s really nothing to it. You know we both finished from the same school, and I did better in class - so it’s not like s/he’s better than me or anything”.

BUT these same people who claim they CAN, are often NEVER willing to apply the sustained effort or make the kinds of personal sacrifices the other person had to make to become ABLE to do it as well as s/he now does: Funny enough, despite being unwilling to do what is needed to achieve the same results, they still want to be able to do it just as well as the person who has paid his/her dues…What a paradox!

To Achieve A Fulfilling Existence, You Must Convince Yourself To Work HARD For It

The reason why those people described above continually let themselves down by achieving well below their true potential is that they have not convinced themselves of the need to strive daily to become better in every facet of their lives so as to achieve a fulfilling existence. Most times, they have the erroneous impression that being just “OK”, living from day to day, enjoying life’s pleasures is enough. Some feel the fact that they already have some material and financial success means there is nothing else left to do. In certain ways, they would be right - as this is mostly a personal thing. After all each of us must ultimately decide for him/herself what goal is truly important and worthwhile to pursue.

The only time when it stops being a personal thing is when a person COMPLAINS or PROTESTS that someone else or others are getting ahead of him/her or getting a better deal from life than s/he is. Once a person begins to question “life” about the fairness and impartiality with which it dispenses rewards to him/her compared to others around, s/he immediately becomes subject to the rules relating to the improvement of oneself in order to achieve valued life goals - the rules guiding the use of Self-Development As A Tool For Achieving Personal Advancement.

In essence I am saying that if you - or someone you know - have ever asked “Why am I not succeeding like other people?” or “How come s/he always gets chosen to do this or that and I don’t?”, then it just could be time you did some soul-searching to find out just how much and how WELL you have been working to IMPROVE yourself.

There is, going by my experiences from many years of CONSCIOUSLY practicing Self-Development to achieve very important goals, a positive and direct correlation between the amount of intelligent Self-Development efforts that you expend and your achievement of ANY important goals or objectives you set for yourself. I also believe that - to a very great extent - this significantly positive correlation is maintained no matter how old or young a person is.

If the truth be said therefore, it means that anyone who wishes to live life to the point where s/he NEVER has to ask the two questions above, stands a good chance of doing so by practising diligent Self-Development. Below I offer a few ideas you may find useful.

Experience-Based Ideas For Practicing Self-Development That Works

1. Develop Long-Range Vision. This is crucial. You need to know where are going. And if your ultimate aim is to achieve fulfillment in life, you need to be able to “paint a mental picture” of what that “looks like” - or what it would mean - for yourself. Visualising in this manner, will make it easier for you to put in the needed effort and make the required sacrifices till your purpose is attained.

2. Find A Role Model(s). Look around you - carefully. Within your workplace or outside; in your family, neighbourhood etc, there may be one or two people who have done similar things to what you wish to achieve. Some may even have chosen to write about how they did it. Make one or more of such persons your role model(s) – ask them(or read) about and/or study their methods - modifying where appropriate - to suit your self/purpose.

3. BREAK(Or Avoid) The Bad Habit Of Idolising Paper Qualifications. Don’t rush - like some others - to acquire the latest qualification or certification unless you’re sure it can really help you improve towards achievfing your intended purpose. Don’t feel inferior to another person for any reason – especially not because s/he has an MBA or PhD when you only have an M.Sc or “less”.

Ask yourself: “Do I really need this qualification to achieve my set goals – NOW or in the future?”

Examples from real-life may help drive this point home: How many PhDs did Nelson Mandela acquire before he could lead his country back to respectable reckoning among other nations in the world? What about Mahatma Ghandi? These two men achieved success in one of the most difficult areas anyone could have chosen to pursue it: Leading an entire nation of people to act with UNITY of mind and purpose to work towards the same goal.

They did not have to go back to school - they simply began taking PERSONAL ACTION driven by their beliefs. That of course does not say that there may not be need for you to acquire more “learning”. I am only saying that your inability to get it through conventional channels like formal “schooling”(e.g. you may not be able to afford the fees) need not mean the end of your dream. Take action inspite of your lack, and ANOTHER way will reveal itself to you.

4. Change Your Thinking. About What Constitutes Learning And HOW It Should Happen. Stop begin afraid to stoop to learn – ask yourself who do you live or work with(or next door to) that you have no idea what s/he does. Begin to show interest in understanding what your subordinate at work does for instance and how s/he does it. You WILL learn a lot and MIGHT have some useful ideas on improvement to pass on to him/her.

5. Always Strive To See The Bigger Picture. If you are employed, constantly ask yourself for instance, how can YOU add value to the company. Keep this FACT in mind at ALL times: “If you are busy looking good while the company is not doing well, you would still have failed”. Sometimes you might need to walk across to the next department while the ISO certification auditors are with them and assist with running around to close out non-conformities raised instead of gloating over the fact that none were raised in your department :-). Incidentally, your company would only get the certification if all the departments pass - which is why you would be better off helping others!

6. Start Knowing A Little About Everything. Show interest in other things outside your area of “acknowledged expertise” or preference. At work, you could for example show interest in knowing how the Production department did last week, what their problems were and how they resolved them.

Before long you would actually know a bit about what goes on there. Better still, THAT department’s members would begin to see you in a positive light. At a point, managers not as close to the Production department as you are, will begin to regard you as a reliable source of information about that department. Don’t be fooled, all these will be noticed/eventually filter to the decision-makers at the top and they will take note of it for the future in taking decisions that benefit you in terms of career advancement.

Even if you’re not in paid employement, using this idea still helps: Those who benefit from your input to their lives will tell others close to them - gaining you goodwill in places you would probably never have imagined possible otherwise. But even before that happens, you would have grown in YOUR knowledge of what the other person(s) do, and be able to apply it usefully in your future interactions and actions.

7. Read, Read, Read and Read! Build a personal library. Buy books that teach you what you want to know/do. Apply what you learn from the books.

8. Develop The Right Attitude Towards Problem-solving/Be A Change Agent. Always seek ways to improve the way things are done. Never avoid problems. Problems are challenges that present us with an opportunity to learn “a little more”(in addition to what we already know) by trying to solve them.

9. Become A Deep Thinker. Be reflective. I do not mean that you should “worry”. Start doing the little things that others never seem to think matter - but which you KNOW do. You must have depth. People who come to you should come away feeling that you have a lot to offer them. They should feel that you have revealed something new about what they thought they knew to them. Your TRUE friends and colleagues will enjoy rubbing minds with you because they will get nourishment from you. Never be superficial. Never lose interest in detail. It might appear fashionable, but it can be quite costly too.

10. Always Finish What You Start - Else Don’t Start It. Build a reputation for being thorough. In managing your time using the time management quadrant, you can delay or put off a job you started, but ensure you go back and finish it. It does not pay to have someone else discover and/or point out to you - or indeed others - that you left your work unfinished. You would look very bad, and lose the trust, confidence and respect of those who know and work with you.

11. Always Learn From EVERY Experience – Be It Failure Or Success. Do not fear failure – use it as a stepping stone instead. To do this, you need to remember that there are two sides to a coin. What you see depends on which side of the coin(the situation) you choose to look at. If you want to succeed like others - or even better - I urge you to see the side of the coin that says “Every adversity carries with it the seed of equivalent benefit”, THEN find and USE that hidden benefit.

12. Be A Coach/People Developer. In the process you will come to know a lot more about -and understand better the things you teach them. At the same time you will build loyalty/friendships with those who benefit from your coaching.

13. Stay In The Line Of Action. Always try to get in the thick of the action - even if you are the “boss”. Be ready to take risks. Some people will tell you to avoid being too far out in the open, but you will gain absolutely nothing by doing nothing. Confidence only comes from doing. Only when you have been a member of a problem-solving or project team, do you begin to understand the problem being tackled BETTER. The knowledge/skill you pick up in the process will eventually serve you well if you get re-deployed or seconded in the future to an area where it has potential application.

Same applies to starting a business. You cannot do it WELL without going out on a limb at some point. If you find the courage to do it, you will emerge stronger and better able to succeed in that business.

14. Believe In Yourself. Think Positive ALWAYS. Free yourself from the discouraging limitations that nay sayers try to impose. That it has never been done before – or that they tried it and it did not work - does not mean you cannot do it. What’s the point of saying “Its been tried before and it did not work” anyway? We learn nothing by giving up. Conversely we learn a lot by persevering through determination till we succeed.

15. Avoid Re-Inventing The Wheel. Ask those who have been there and done it before, then modify to suit the present. Use the Internet to discover what is already known or available that might be of use to you. The Internet is bursting - literally speaking(though you may need to sieve the “wheat” out from the “chaff”) - with various tools and resources that can make it easier for people like YOU all over the world to achieve their goals quicker and more efficiently. If you use it intelligently, you will find that you save yourself many hours of work, plenty of money AND become more efficient/effective in the process.

Your Success Will Depend On How Willing You Are To Take DILIGENT Personal Goal-Focussed Actions Every Single Day!

The keys to unlocking the rewards you want from life are tied to your willingness to take DILIGENT PERSONAL ACTION repeatedly and consistently in the pursuit of your set goals.

How many times have we seen people who buy the latest textbook which their less fortunate classmates cannot afford to buy - only for the former to fail the exam for which they bought the book while others who don’t even have the book pass! The point is that it is one thing to begin buying the self-help books, but developing the discipline to consistently READ, UNDERSTAND and PRACTISE the teachings in the books is another thing entirely.

This is what really tends to hold many people back. If you want to enjoy the rewards listed above, you MUST put in the requisite effort, or to put it another way, you need to PAY YOUR DUES! Once you do that, for long enough, you will no longer have to ask yourself this painful question: “Why Don’t I Succeed Like Others?”

FINAL WORDS - You Do Not Need To Succeed In A Manner That Is “Fashionable”

Just before I go, I feel it is important to add that I am not, by referring to the question “Why Don’t I Succeed Like Others?”, suggesting that you must aim to “succeed like others do”. I am NOT saying that you have to succeed in a manner that is fashionable or in vogue. Come to think of it, there really is no particular way of succeeding that could correctly be said to be “fashionable”.

So, if/when you do ask yourself THAT question, remember that your personal situation and the challenges you encounter may be so unique that you will have to find YOUR OWN way to succeed in spite of them. Sometimes the situation you find yourself in might be quite humbling - possibly in contrast to those your chosen “role models” recorded as being what they experienced.

If you really want YOUR success, you will have to ignore all of that and get on with the business of succeeding - no matter how many people laugh at you, tell you you can’t do it etc. Read my article tilted “There Is Nothing Wrong With A Humble Beginning: Achieve YOUR Success With Honour & Integrity”.

Self-Development/Performance Enhancement Specialist – Tayo Solagbade - devotes his time to exploring new frontiers of Self-Development Education, especially as it relates to showing people what they can do by themselves, for themselves to achieve their set goals - DESPITE the limitations of their circumstances or environment.

To get more useful Tips, Information And News that can help you do what you do more successfully, visit http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/news/sdacn_current.htm to subscribe to Tayo’s “Performance Enhancement Newsletter”.