Want to do something about lowering child support or gaining
custody of your kids’ or, maybe improving visitation rights?

Well, we’ve all thought about it from time to time, but often don’t
take action because we as men are much more the procrastinators than
our women counterparts. We also think that the costs are prohibitive
and that we’re screwed in family court anyway, so what’s the use?

These are pretty much the same thoughts that go through every father
mind every time their hand shakes writing that child support check, or
argue with the X about visitation.

So what do you do? Out of total frustration most consult with
attorney’s or seek advice from well-meaning friends. But you don’t
need sympathy and high legal costs. You need a mentor, a person that’s
been there and can relate to your situation. Someone who can guide
you, step by step, through the legal maze.

After many unsuccessful attempts, most guys come to the conclusion
that if anything’s going to get done that they’d have to do themselves
and get personally involved. After all, who knows more about your
situation than you do?

If you don’t know what to do, get some good information by finding out
what other Fathers have done in similar situations. Then, mimic what
they have done successfully…This is called the “mirroring principle.”

Follow success to a “T”. Use all guidelines that you can and keep
trying to work in more options. Have a trusted friend look over your
work and ask for objective opinions. This is the true method for
knowing that you’ve got a killer case - that’s worked before and will
gain you more rights.

Dennis Gac is widely known as “The World’s #1 Fathers Rights
Consultant!” But what do you care? Well, if you rush over to my
site… I think you’ll come to your own conclusion that I’m the real
deal, and you see how much FREE (yet extremely valuable!) Fathers
Rights Winning information I’m giving away. Check it out now at:

http://www.fathershelphotline.com

Dennis Gac

National Brotherhoodf of Fathers Rights

Preschool is an excellent time to introduce children to the concepts of the calendar, days of the week and months of the year, and what better way to learn about these concepts than through games and activities! The most common and simple of these preschool calendar activities is to chart the month’s progress on a large paper calendar posted on the wall.

At the beginning of every month, gather everyone around the large paper calendar on the wall to label it with the important days of the month, such as any special holidays or birthdays occurring within the month. At the end of the day, one special child gets the important job of crossing the day off to get ready for the next day. This can be a reward for cleaning up fastest after a craft, winning a game, or anything else that seems fit.

“Just another Manic Monday…”

Other preschool calendar activities can focus on learning the days of the week. For example, designate one special activity, game, or song for each day of the week. This will help children get accustomed to a routine, which in turn helps them to learn about the weekly routines that will prevail throughout the remainder of their lives. These activities can change monthly so that children don’t get too bored with them.

Lesser-Known Celebrations

The calendar can also serve as a skeletal structure for the preschool curriculum, since it’s easiest to teach concepts to children when they are happening all around them. After all, it wouldn’t really make much sense to teach kids about Christmas in the middle of spring, would it? Sometimes it can be fun to partake in preschool calendar activities to learn about some of the lesser-known celebrations of each month. This way, children are exposed to more than just the usual “Christmas, Valentine’s Day and Easter” triumvirate of holiday celebrations.

For example, more preschools are learning about February as Black History Month. However, February is also Library Lovers Month, Children’s Dental Month, and National Hobby Month. All three of these themes can provide a wealth of fun activities and games for preschoolers.

For example, Library Lovers Month can be celebrated with a special field trip to the school or local public library to meet the children’s librarian and for a storytelling afternoon. In Children’s Dental Month, the focus can be on proper oral hygiene by learning the proper ways to brush and floss. This could include a visit from a dentist, if possible. National Hobby Month gives children the chance to bring in an item that showcases one of their hobbies and present it to the class in a show-and-tell format.

When looking for celebrations or holidays from the calendar to bring into the classroom for preschool calendar activities, the emphasis should be on fun and enrichment to the curriculum in general. Though some holidays may seem downright silly, they’re still a great opportunity to learn new things about the calendar.

Did you know that the 4th Thursday of January is known as “Clashing Clothes Day”? Challenge the kids to come to class in their most clashing outfits as a way of learning about opposites and things that just don’t match.

Mary Robinson has been teaching preschool for well over a decade. You can get instant access to her preschool activities, crafts, and lesson plans by visiting her website:

http://www.preschoolwhiz.com

For a limited time, all visitors to Mary’s site will also get a free copy of her special report: “The 7 Biggest Mistakes Preschool Teachers and Parents Make”. Go get your free copy today!

Good speakers become great speakers with the proper training. Investing in professional speaker training can greatly improve your bottom line.

There is no downside to improving your speaking skills.

The key to effective speaking boils down to one thing: The ability to be able to tell a compelling story. I was taught years ago that effective advertising was reduced down to the acronym A-I-D-A, which stands for 1.) Attract their ATTENTION. 2.) Stimulate their INTEREST 3.) Create DESIRE and 4.) Move them to ACTION.

Creating an effective speaking presentation is not much different than those guidelines. When we speak, we are actually selling. We are trying to communicate or get someone to adopt truths, facts, inspire action, etc. How many times has someone in your life said to you, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it”? Most of us have heard that. We have all worked with very accomplished, well-educated people who are absolutely brilliant in their field, but when they spoke, they almost put us to sleep. How many of us have listened to an individual who was charismatic, compelling, and attractive and then when it was all done, you ask yourself, “What did they just say?” or you don’t remember a thing they said. It was all show with no substance. To get on the road to more effective speaking, you must master what you say AND how you say it. The best way is in a story-type format. In my sales training over twenty years ago I was taught that “facts tell, stories sell”.

Stories or story-type speaking bring a message to the heart and mind of the audience. One such method is what I call the PSOx3 speaking template. It is a no-brainer method for creating compelling speeches. This stands for presenting a Problem, Solution, and Outcome and doing it three times during the presentation. This humanizes the presentation and it allows the listener to relate to the issue presented. It creates a mental picture which makes the topic more memorable. Here’s an example. Let’s use a motivational topic that goes like this; “John Smith had only twenty dollars in his pocket. He was laid off with no possibility of being rehired. His position was outsourced overseas. He had two kids in private school and a baby at home. His wife worked part-time three days a week.

They could not make it on her income alone. They only had enough financial cushion to pay their bills for about three months. He knew he had to make something happen, and do it quickly. One day after paying his bills he actually had to make a decision whether to fill up his gas tank or buy groceries. This was the turning point in his life. It was either cave in to the desperation and depression or rise to the occasion and go into business for himself. He felt no one was going to hire an over-40 professional like him at the salary he had been accustomed to. One day while reading newspaper, he read a story about how a large percentage of attorneys were not getting the clientele they desired. He spotted a need. Problem leads to profit. He was skilled in writing marketing materials for a large company for the past twenty years. Why couldn’t he do it for another industry?, he asked himself.

This lead him to make his first phone call to a local attorney who confessed that his business was slow and he was at odds in how to get more clientele and increasing his referrals. John made an appointment with that attorney. He became John’s first client. That was 250 clients and three years ago. John’s now has three employees that all work as independent contractors from their homes. He also works out of his home. He and his staff meet in person once a week for brainstorming sessions to give the virtual company a more human feel.”

Now when you read the story of John, in a very short period of time, you are pulled in to his plight, feel his despair, and experience the hope he has with the advent of his new business. When this story is told, as opposed to just telling facts, you feel for John. When it is presented with pauses, increases and decreases in speech volume, and the appropriate body gestures, you are well on your way to creating a memorable speech. As in a good TV screenplay, you can clearly identify the problem, solution, and the outcome. The story of John is one you remember and isn’t that the reason why we do presentations at our work, places of worship, and service organizations?

George Bruno has been speaking in the private and public sectors for 25 years. He has been a guest and host on various talk radio programs in New York and Pennsylvania. In the early 80’s, he traveled on a drama team for three years performing in churches, prisons, and schools. In the late 80’s and early 90’s, he performed as an improv comedian in comedy clubs, cafe’s and fund raising shows in cities on the East Coast, including the renown Bonkers Comedy Club and the Chestnut Street Cabaret in Philadelphia.

When not working, he enjoys writing, cooking, facilitating a entrepreneurs group, and of course…fishing.

He resides in Bucks County, PA

At the most fundamental psychological level, there are, essentially, three kinds of people: Those that see the glass as half-empty, those that view the glass as half-full and those that will argue for hours as to whether it’s a glass at all!

Now ask yourself, which category do you fall into? Do you inflate and encourage - or are you more like a human vortex, a steady drain on emotional resources? Are you a courage-builder or a spirit-sucker? Do your colleagues view you as a burst of upbeat energy - or as a vitality-vampire, sucking the positive lifeblood out of your co-workers? Are you an ego-booster or an ego-buster?

When you truly begin to embrace the fact that your words and actions contribute to the overall energy and happiness in your life and the lives of your co-workers, you’ll make a radical decision to positively reframe your outlook, speech and actions. Now, let’s look at the seven top ego-busting behaviors - How we can help those who use these destructive communication patterns, and how we can change these behaviors in our own speech.

1.-Overwhelmingly Negative Speech - In order for an organization to flourish, and not flounder or experience flat growth, they need to pump up their positive speech. Quite often, these are people who suffer from the ball-and-chain syndrome - where every task (no matter how small) - is a crushing chore, an insurmountable burden.

–You: If most of your day-to-day dialogue is negative, pessimistic, sarcastic, hurtful, harmful, blame-ridden, guilt-inducing and filled with, “I can’ts augmented with extra doses of, “poor-poor-pitiful-me,” it may be time for you to make a healthy change to the positive. Try to strike a better balance by choosing positive, optimistic, reassuring, encouraging, morale-building, forward-thinking, “I can” words.

–Others: If you hear others engaged in negative dialogue, first acknowledge them by saying, “Gee, it sounds like you are really unhappy,” or “I can tell by what you are saying that you are frustrated.” Then ask them, “Share with me something that is going right.” You can also offer a comment such as, “Do you realize that when you complain/are negative about ________ that it really has a negative impact on my morale - and what I need from you is to hear you offer up some of the positive things that are going on around here.”

2.-”I Didn’t Do It!” - Truth be told, no one really cares about what you are unwilling to do or can’t do. They’re only interested in finding out what you have done, are willing to do, or can do. Experts agree that if every person involved in a task took a mere 10 percent responsibility in a project’s outcome (negative or positive), the work responsibility could be evenly distributed and shared.

Folks that play the “blame game” lose on all accounts: They fail to function as a team player and lose their co-workers’ respect. Playing the “blame game” is a career-killing move.

–You: If you are blaming another, and the task truly wasn’t your responsibility, then give the person who needs the task completed very specific and helpful information. Without this, you will seem lazy, uncooperative and a non-team player. If you continue playing the “blame game,” no one will approach you with any new tasks. Task assigning = trust.

–Others: If someone is blaming another, you can ask them: “What can you do and what are you willing to do in this situation?” In these situations, blaming-throwing can go on indefinitely, so oftentimes, eliciting some information is better than none.

3.-Grapevine Gossipers - If you think that you’ll have nothing to talk about if you omit all of the gossip in your everyday speech - You need to reassess your communications! Gossip is damaging, especially in a work environment. Just how far will employers go to stop gossip? Two years ago, municipal workers in Cascavel, Brazil, were banned from gossiping during working hours under a new law. Any public employee caught spreading rumors or gossip about their colleague ran the risk of being fired. The city claimed that civil servants have the right to work in a professional environment and said the new law promotes integrity.

In 2001, a nationwide study conducted by a UK group, Industrial Society, claimed that, on average, American men gossip more than women. The idea that gossip is largely a women’s thing is deeply ingrained; saying that men gossip more than women is like saying that men have more shoes than women!

How do you define gossip? The authors of the study described true gossip as meeting five essential criteria:

–The person being talking about is not present;

–The people having the conversation have an established relationship with the subject;

–The information has no direct impact on the lives of the people conducting the conversation;

–The conversation is generally negative in tone, and

–The conversation is morality-based in its implications.

The study concedes, however, that men and women gossip quite differently. While women gossip primarily to bond with one another, and men do it to bolster their self-esteem.

–You: If you’re the department’s “gossip grapevine,” try to cut your gossip by 10 percent. You’ll soon find that it’s easy to cut back on the time you spend “sharing news & views” about co-workers and managers. You want to feel included and embraced in your group, but what you’re really doing is serving as the “enabler” of negative relationships.

–Others: When someone tries to share gossip with you, ask them, “Why are you sharing this information with me? I would prefer not to talk about ____ without him/her being here.” Defend others in their absence, just as you’d wish for others to defend you. And remember, if a person gossips with you, they’ll gossip about you!

4.-”I’m Okay, But You’re Not Okay” - Perhaps the most difficult behavioral pattern to deal with, passive-aggressive behavior plays an insidious role in interpersonal communications. This “I’m okay, but you’re not okay” (but I’m not going to verbalize this, I’ll just subtly undermine you) conduct can prove frustrating.

–You: If you’re the culprit in passive-aggressive conduct, you need to more carefully identify your needs. Don’t expect positive responses from your negative innuendos and sarcastic “off-the-cuff” comments. Try to more articulately, concise and clearly state your needs.

–Others: Those that fall into passive-aggressive behavior tend to take negative jabs in their speech and then follow it up with comments like: “Gosh, I was just joking,” or, “Lighten up!” and “Can’t you take a joke?” remarks. In order to deal with this type of conduct, you can ask the person to repeat any necessary information, deadlines, agreements, etc., and (face-to-face) agree to specified terms. Whatever you do, don’t be sarcastic or attempt to “even the playing field” with similar negative comments, this will only serve to further “fuel the fire” in passive-aggressive individuals.

Controllers & Micro-Managers - This is, at its primal level, a form of controlling behavior.

–You: If you find yourself micro-managing your employees and co-workers, your core issue is trust. You don’t trust people. As a result, people will not trust you. Let people set their own deadlines - typically, they’ll set shorter deadlines than you would and, as a result, they’ll have a better attitude about their project and their own abilities.

–Others: When you find yourself working for a micro-manager, you need to start a positive communication campaign. Push a constant stream of communication out to your manager. Use phrases like: “This is where I am on this project, and unless I hear from you otherwise, I’ll move forward to [Step B].” Send out a copious flow of updates and information, allowing the person to (slowly but surely) develop trust in your working relationship.

5.-”Poor Me” Victim Mentality - This very damaging ego-busting behavior can spell “disaster” for a budding career.

–You: If you indulge yourself in “victim mentality,” realize that you can badly (sometimes irretrievably) damage your career. Using the “poor me” excuse in professional environs can make you seem ill equipped in handling undemanding situations, thereby allowing others to deem you completely incapable of managing more stressful and challenging ones. Realize that it serves no positive purpose to whine and moan, “The other department got all of the new computers… We never get any of the good stuff,” type of speech. It merely brands you as the department’s top grumbler, grouch and complainer.

–Others: If you work with a person who continually views the half-full glass as half-empty, you’ll need to assist them in moving their communications in a more positive direction.

6.-Cyclops Syndrome - Diagnosing “Cyclops Syndrome” is easy. People who have it, have one big “eye”- that is focused solely on themselves. This self-centered behavior stems from egocentric mentality - “It’s all about me . . .enough about you . . .now let’s talk about me!” I also call this “one-upmanship” communication or “OOPS,” syndrome - or Our Own Personal Story (OOPS) syndrome.

–You: If you find yourself using “I”-focused dialogue, it’s time to reassess your focus on others. If you find you don’t congratulate others on their victories, but rather use them as (yet another) opportunity to build yourself up: “Oh, I already got a raise” rather than, “Congratulations on your raise!” - stop your egocentric speech patterns.

–Others: People suffering from the “Cyclops Syndrome” don’t allow others a moment “in the spotlight.” Completely unaware of other’s needs, they always have a better story, a bigger win or a more impressive development than anyone else (or OOPS - Our Own Personal Story). Self-centered Cyclops-sighted folks will always shift and bring the focus back on themselves: “Oh, you think you’re having trouble on your ward, just wait until you hear mine,” and “If you think your child is doing well in school, mine is doing better…”

Susanne Gaddis, PhD, known as the Communications Doctor, is an acknowledged communications expert who has been speaking and teaching the art of effective and positive communication through workshops, seminars, and keynote presentations across the United States since 1989. Past clients include: NASA, Oracle, Schlumberger, and the American Nurses Association. For free articles written by Dr. Gaddis, or to purchase her book Communication Booster Shots: Prescriptions for Effective Communication visit http://www.CommunicationDoctor.com or call 919-933-3237.