To many people in those years leading up to retirement also have to be of assistance to aging parents and you see the realistic side of the golden years as well. So that changes how you think about retirement and how to prepare for it. On the darker side of thinking ahead to retirement and the years of decline, there is one dread that outweighs all the others pretty much universally. That is the dread of ever having to go to a nursing home.

The concept of the horror of a nursing home has not been helped in our modern times by stories of nursing home abuse and horrible experiences older people have in those institutions. So the idea that we all might end up in such a place can be quite terrifying and create a lot of anxiety about ever retiring and letting someone take over your care that might put you in a nursing home.

Many of the terrors of nursing home life are the result of myth and stories and the media who love to portray nursing homes as torture chambers, But if the fear of a nursing home gets you in the mode to prepare for retirement and start doing your research well in advance, then that is a good fear because it is mobilizing you for doing something good for you and your family.

The good news is that a lot has changed maybe even since you had to deal with nursing homes when your own parents were aging. There are a lot of new formats for where an elderly person might go live once continuing to live alone in their house stops being an option. It is no doubt the surge of elderly people into the system caused by the graying of the baby boomer generation that has fueled a revolution in elderly car. Now there are all kinds of levels of care and the kinds of places you can look forward to spending your golden years in may resemble an apartment complex or resort more than a nursing home.

You can do a lot to reduce your anxiety about retirement by starting now and going to visit some of these retirement apartment complexes, assisted living centers and senior centers. You will be pleasantly surprised at how nice and comfortable the options are out there that you can look forward to taking advantage of in your retirement years.

But there is another important change in how you view retirement that looking into alternatives to nursing homes will bring about as well. That is the area of planning to finance these kinds of retirement options. There are many forms of retirement insurance and you may already have started paying on a policy that would provide care for you in a nursing home or a place where medical care was available in the event you had a medical decline in your golden years.

By getting a good idea what kind of facility you might prefer once it is no longer feasible or desirable for you to keep a full house going, you can anticipate preparing for that move financially as well. You can check on your insurance and if the funding you have set aside for retirement will not help out with assisted living centers, make those changes now so that insurance can accumulate value for you.

The administrators at assisted living centers can help you prepare for your move to their facility. They will be thrilled to meet someone thinking that far in advance about your future needs and because these folks are in the business of helping people like you and I move comfortably into retirement, they can help you know about programs, financing and other ways you can prepare so you are fully ready to go to a wonderful future.

Wayne Miller has written two e-books and has traded serious money inside different stock and commodity markets. One is called The US Financial Crisis of 2007-2008 and the other e-book is called Opportunity of a Lifetime. Top Ten Books and
Money Secrets.

Blog for Top Ten Book.

I am a retired expert financial advisor who for several years put out a private high end newsletter that did sell for $6k per subscriber. It was that good of information. In addition has been a trader of the markets for more than 20 years. These financial e-books are for both everyday people and both novice and experienced traders alike who desire to learn how I can predict the future inside these markets. You can you know if you know how within the stock and commodity markets worldwide and by doing so, you can learn how to obtain serious wealth and make your own retirement dreams come true.

Inside “The Financial Crisis of 2007-2008″ e-book I do reveal certain secrets on how I was able to spot major trend reversals (before these events happen).

DEATH INTRUDES, LIFE IS SHORT!

My older brother, my Protector, my good friend, passed away on Sunday, April 25, 2007.

He had lived with me for the past 3 years. He was very sick and suffered a lot at the end. He was ready to meet his Maker, so I guess I should be thankful for that, but there is a blank spot in my life now.

The house is very quiet, except for Tiger my kitty. No other TV is going, no music in his room, no one to eat dinner with. I miss him.

I am including the tribute I wrote and read at his funeral. Some say they were very touched by it. I didn’t know what was happening in the church, because if I looked up at them, I probably wouldn’t have been able to finish reading it to them.

If you have a brother or sister, or a mother or father or other relative you love very much, tell them you love them. You won’t know until they pass away, how much you really cared for them. Life is short!

MY BROTHER
By Pat Hubbard

My brother Joseph Richard, McKown was a carpenter, a plumber, a mechanic, a sign builder, an artist, a jack-of-all-trades and a Patsy Cline lover.

He had a DARK, green thumb and could have been a world class baseball pitcher, but fate would not allow it.

During our young years, he was a sister agitator-meaning me. He’d tease and then claim innocence.

When I was about 3 years old, that agitation got him into some serious soul searching. Our mom told him to wash my face and hands, but he whispered menacingly, “I’m going to put you in the sink and give you a bath!”

Naturally I protested, which revolved into an argument. My father came to question the disagreement between us. I told my side and he told his. Since daddy couldn’t figure out who was lying, he put us both out on the back porch in the dark and said, “The devil gets people who lie. When you decide to tell the truth you can come in.”

Unknown to us, dad had slipped out of the front door and around to the side of the house. He had put a glove on the end of a broomstick and wiggled it just in the path of our vision. My brother thinking the devil had come to take the liar, screamed, “I did it, daddy I did it!” I was taken into the house and held in my dad’s arms and my brother left outside. I, fearing for his fate, pleaded his case and begged my father to bring him in so the devil wouldn’t take him away.

I am sure that today psychiatrists would say that was bad, bad, bad parenting, but it made an impression on both of us. He learned it’s bad to lie and I learned I loved my brother in spite of his teasing me all of the time.

When he was 17 years old, he was involved in a horrible accident where a drunken driver pushed him and his motorbike into an oncoming car. The prognosis was that he probably would die or would be an invalid for the rest of his life. After 9 days in a coma he returned to consciousness. Only to learn his optic nerve had been severed and that he was badly disfigured.

Finally, being sent home to fully recover, I learned some great lessons from my brother. Rather than going into seclusion, he rejoined his friends and lived as if nothing much had changed in his life. He never used his disability as a crutch for sympathy. He continued to have many friends, both male and female.

Dick learned a lot of his working skills under the capable instruction of our father. He was my dad’s right hand man, whether it was on a plumbing job or helping in dad’s home deconstruction business, many times missing out on some social experiences with his friends.

He was such a protector, my brother. After I became a teenager I developed a healthy interest in some of his male friends. But somehow even though they liked me, they never asked me out. I didn’t understand that. Some years later, I overheard him say he had warned them that I was “off limits.” Maybe he knew something I didn’t.

Dick fathered 4 children of his own and later adopted our younger brother’s three-year-old daughter when her father was killed.

His generosity was identified many times in our lives. After my first marriage of 19 years failed, he took a week off from his job, rented a U haul and helped move me and my 4 children from Beaufort South Carolina to Virginia. Whenever I have needed help with household or auto repairs he was there for my assistance. I cannot ever remember asking him for help that he didn’t respond, except, he wouldn’t do dishes.

In our mom’s final years of ill health, he lived with and cared for her needs, allowing my sister and I to get some relief.

Wherever he went, Dick tried to make people smile, even strangers, like the grocery cashier. Once while setting a bag of ice on the counter, he asked her, “Is this ice guaranteed?”
She looked at him in a quizzical manner. Then he added, “If this ice melts, can I bring it back?”

Needless to say, she looked at him in wonderment…then realized it was a joke. Making people laugh was his great joy.

In his final weeks, his goal was to live long enough to plant his garden. It was his driving force, his goal for the immediate future. 4 Days before he passed, he planted some of his tomato seeds in a little container in his room. That was 8 days ago. Today, the seedlings are about 3 inches tall and still reaching for the sky. Perhaps, they are trying to follow him into THE LIGHT.

For more tips and tools to on how to survive divorce and loss and make healthy relationship choices you are invited to visit http://www.Butterflyintonewlife.com or upathubbard@gmail.com Please make a comment on this article and I will respond.
Patricia Hubbard has Facilitated a Support Group for Separated, Divorced and Widowed people for the past 11 years.

A few years ago Bill Moyers created an excellent program that focused on how our culture responds to people at the end of life, often making the quality of death a lower priority than the quality of life. With that program and a few others, there is finally emerging the very beginnings of the willingness to look at what has been a taboo topic. But if we don’t embrace the end of life with love when our parents and friends are dying, who will there be to teach our children and friends to comfort us with love when we, too, must approach our own end?

In other words, can our society learn to face the reality of human mortality and provide greater support for a dignified death? Moyers asks, “How can we built a system that will help us tackle the social, financial, spiritual, and physical challenges of dying so that we can have confidence that our experience of it will be on our terms and will reflect the values we hold most dear?”

I believe we can change our way of looking at death the same way we have been able to affect change for many problems in society - one family and one person at a time. I hope I will be an agent of change. Will you?

We can begin by being willing to talk about topics that are often hard for both children and parents to initiate. Yet these discussions can smooth out the rough spots associated with the dying process. And here are some of the things you can talk about, according to a good friend of mine who is the chaplain in a retirement community.

• Talk, talk, talk about what you want done at the end of life, especially when you are incapacitated. For example, what does “life support” mean to you? Hospitals love feeding tubes and if you don’t want a feeding tube, be clear about it.
• Be sure to sign a document, such as Five Wishes, and let your family know where you keep the paper.
• Since older parents often don’t question the orders of a doctor, even though they would like something different, be sure you know what your parents really want and make sure others know what you want.
• Remember that a Durable Power of Attorney may be seen as having precedent over a Durable Power of Health Care, so be certain the person to whom you give the rights to make legal and financial decisions is someone who agrees with your views on medical issues.
• If you have a “do not resuscitate” card or other information about your durable power of health care, carry that card with you at all times. You never know when you may need it. Keep this important information behind the driver’s license because paramedics will look there.

In the magazine Aging and Spirituality, Rev. Donna Schaper wrote an article entitled, “Parents and Children: The Last, Best Gift.” This “gift” is the willingness of parents to discuss with their grown children topics that have often been taboo, often for no other reason than that they are simply uncomfortable. But as she points out, discussions about money, estate planning, and health care can either be done when it is convenient and the decision-making process can be collaborative, or when parents are feeble and ailing, time has run out, and children are scrambling to pull together pieces of information that are hard to uncover.

Jung said that we ourselves should become whatever we want our children to become, a statement that summed up his ideas on child-rearing. If parents want children to become fully mature adults, parents themselves need to be fully mature adults throughout their lives - including in their final years when, predictably, their health will fail and they will die.

Parents who give the gift of final preparations and directions to their children give a gift beyond those of childhood. Parents who take charge of their own aging and dying will produce children who can do the same. When we take care of ourselves, we prepare the way for others to take care of themselves. That kind of care is adult. It is mature. It is the kind of care that the ancient sage Maimonides referred to when he decreed nine ethical laws, in descending order of importance. The first law? Take care of yourself so as not to become a burden to others.

What happens when parents wait until their health fails before making decisions that must be made by someone? At the very least, they force their children to make difficult decisions that are not the children’s sole responsibility. However, in making those decisions, children may unintentionally decide to do something the parents would not have wanted.

Further, making decisions early is especially critical when without the specific instructions from the parents, siblings resurrect their old rivalries in the process of trying to sort out their parents’ wishes. The quarrels that result from an estranged child suddenly coming in to demand certain “rights” (including the right to continue medical interventions beyond the time his siblings believe the parent would have wanted, to say nothing of demanding certain possessions) can go on for years after the parent’s death.

Is that what you want as a legacy? How much better to talk now with calm deliberation about what is in your will, how you want your possessions distributed, how you’ve planned your estate to avoid taxation, whom you’d like notified in case of illness or death and how, what will happen if one parent precedes another in death, and what you’d like done for a funeral, burial or cremation. Most of all, by talking about “delicate” subjects now, you can collaborate with your children and get their input, demonstrating your willingness to encompass their wishes, including those of estranged children if possible.

Just as love was the gift you gave your children when you brought them into the world, love can be a vital part of leaving them when the end of your life draws near.

©2002, Arlene Harder, MA, MFT

Arlene F. Harder, MA, MFT is Founder and Editor-in Chief of the websites http://www.Support4Change.com and http://www.ChildhoodAffirmations.com
She has been a licensed psychotherapist for more than 20 years. Her speacialty is using healing imagery and reflective meditation techniques, and is certified by the Academy for Guided Imagery. She is a co-founder of The Wellness Community-Foothills in Pasadena, California, and the author of the book Letting Go of Our Adult Children: When What We Do is Never Enough.
Arlene can be contacted at arlene@support4change.com and found at her blog, support4change.squarespace.com

Stress management works on two levels. The first is about maintaining an harmonious lifestyle so that stress does not get out of control. This involves having outlets that allow you to release the stress. The second strategy involves learning how to relax yourself or change your mood if stress is having a negative impact on your life. The first strategy is about prevention. The second is more to do with the cure for stress. This article will look at these two strategies and how they can be applied to stress management for the elderly.

There are no great secrets about preventing stress from being a serious issue in your life. If you want to prevent stress then you have to engage in life.

Stay active. Many older people go to the gym these days and there are a variety of low impact activities like water aerobics or classes aimed at older people. If the gym is not your thing then any kind of sport or physical activity is good. Walking, bowls or golf provide exercise without putting too much physical stress on the body.

Stay involved in the community. As people get older they may feel out of touch with the mainstream. They may not see their friends so often and it is easy to suddenly find yourself isolated.

It is important to have an outlet to express your feelings and thoughts about the world and your life. Many people see their children and grandchildren as a focal point and outlet for their thoughts and feelings but it is also important to have a life outside of the family. Look for community activities that you can become engaged in. Many charitable organisations like Rotary run events for seniors. Make friends with people you meet at these events as this will lead to more opportunities to socialise.

Establish a new purpose in life. Retirement should open up a new freedom in your life to try things you never had time to do before because you were working. This doesn’t mean a cruise round the world (but it could do) rather taking a hobby or pursuing something that you have always been interested in. This could involve gardening, photography, hang gliding or whatever you can think of. It is important to have something to focus your mind and body on.

The cure of stress is effectively about changing the state of your body. The body responds in a certain way if it believes that it is experiencing stress. This can lead to ill-health over time and a feeling of anxiety or depression. If you find that you are becoming stressed out or suffering from anxiety or depression it is advisable to see your doctor but other techniques can be combined with your doctors advice. These techniques are ways of telling the body to calm down. Three common techniques are meditation, yoga and deep breathing. Meditation and yoga can be learned through classes or by reading books/watching videos. Deep breathing is fairly straightforward and serves to slow the body down and take more oxygen into the body.

Prevention is often better than cure. Stay active and engaged in life and you will find that you have ways to deal with potential stressful events. This does not mean you are running a marathon every month but having an outlet for your energies, thoughts and feelings.

Managing stress is often easier than you think. Many simple methods that you can use today can help you relieve stress and lead a healthier life. Find out more about these simple stress management techniques by visiting http://stressmanagementreview.com. Adrian Whittle writes on a number of stress related topics including how stress affects health and common stress symptoms at work.

Elderly care is an event that most children do not wish to think about. No one wants to think about his or her parent growing old. We look to our parents for guidance and support, but there comes a time when the parenting roles reverse.

It is important to discuss future events with your loved ones and develop a long-term plan for their care for when they become unable to care for themselves. Developing an Eldercare checklist is a proactive way to ensure your loved ones whether parents or grandparents receive the level of care they need and services they want, or, in the case of artificial nutrition, they may not want.

There are several key points and strategies you will want to include on your Eldercare checklist:

1. What level of eldercare is needed, and where will this care be given?

2. How will you pay for the eldercare? The medical costs of eldercare.

3. What will be done with your parents’ or grandparents’ assets while they are receiving eldercare?

4. Are all legal documents including the Will and Living Will current? Have your parents’ or grandparents’ Wills and Living Wills been reviewed recently by an Attorney? What is an Advanced Financial Directive? What is an Advanced Medical Directive in eldercare estate planning?

5. Have your parents or grandparents designated a Durable Power of Attorney?

Making sure you have answers to these questions for your parents or grandparents eldercare early on will avoid confusion and distress later. Don’t wait until there is a tragedy to make plans that will affect how your loved one spends the rest of their life. For the purposes of this article we will assume “loved one” to mean a parent or grandparent.

Where will eldercare be given, and by whom?

1. CAREGIVING AND ELDERCARE

INFORMAL CAREGIVER

There are two types of caregivers: informal and formal. An informal caregiver might be a spouse or child, and these caregivers do not receive direct payment for their services. Usually payment is made through services exchanged such as food or housing at no charge while caring for your parent.

FORMAL CAREGIVER

A formal caregiver is usually employed by an agency to provide quality care in the comfort of your home. If the formal caregiver is not associated with an agency, it is important to conduct a thorough check of references to ensure you are hiring a quality professional.

It is important to inform all formal caregivers of the responsibilities associated with your parent’s needs. If your parent needs assistance in and out of a wheelchair, a hired caregiver should be able to perform this task without harm to your parent or to him/herself. To avoid injury to all persons involved, informal and formal caregivers should receive training on proper techniques for lifting and moving, proper use of bedpans, and how to maintain good hygiene for a parent confined to bed.

LOCATION OF ELDERCARE FOR YOUR PARENTS

There are many options for the location of care provided. Most people would agree that living our their remaining years in the comfort of home is more appealing than living in a state facility. If your parent wishes to receive care in their home you can make home modifications, such as a wheelchair ramp or seat in the shower, to accommodate their changing needs. You can also hire a formal caregiver to come and assist your parent with daily activities such as bathing, eating, taking medications, or regular exercise.

CONSIDERATIONS OF ASSISTED LIVING HOUSES OR NURSING HOMES

If it is not possible for your parent to remain at home, you can choose to place them in assisted living houses or a nursing home. Before placing your loved one in a facility, you should thoroughly check both the location and the staff. Make yourself familiar with required paperwork ahead of time to prevent delays when it comes time to move in, and, if possible, make several unannounced visits to oversee daily activities.

You should check if the facility is regulated by the state, and request to see any licenses they have for providing eldercare. Find out how the staff is trained and if they are required to have certification to work there. You should consider the cost of the facility and the living accommodations your parent will be provided.

Additional considerations when choosing a facility might be types of activities offered to residents and the quality and type of food provided. While no place will be perfect, you should choose a facility that makes your parent feel as comfortable as possible away from home.

2. MEDICAL COSTS OF ELDERCARE AND MEDICAID

Not many insurance companies are willing to pay for long-term care. It is important to check the details of your parent’s policy and read the fine print for restrictions. For example, Medicare will not pay for long-term care but it will pay a very short-term benefit. However, Medicaid will pay for long-term care but only if your parent receives care in a Medicaid facility.

If you plan far enough ahead, you can begin setting aside money so you can afford to provide long-term care to your parent at home. You should consult a financial advisor or estate planner to go over your parent’s bank statements and assets to determine how long their current funds will be able to provide medical care, and based on this assessment you can establish a savings plan to make up the difference needed for long-term eldercare. When figuring in additional savings you need, keep in mind that you will also need to continue paying any current bills your parent might have.

3. WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR PARENTS’ ASSETS DURING ELDERCARE

Before you rush off and put your parent’s house on the market, make sure you have discussed where they want to receive their long-term care. It would be quite devastating for your parent to come home from a hospital stay to discover you had sold the house and moved their belongings into a nursing home.

You should also ask your estate planner or financial advisor which of your parent’s accounts you should withdraw money from to help offset costs. Some accounts, such as annuities, carry penalties for early withdrawal and may require you to pay taxes on income earned through these accounts. Also, once you begin withdrawing money from an annuity you cannot stop payments.

LEGAL ISSUES OF ELDERCARE

Hopefully, your parent has written a will and made you aware of its location. A Will should be reassessed by an Attorney every few years to make sure all the people listed as beneficiaries are still alive, and that your parent still wants them to receive a portion of their estate.

Moreover, your parents should have an irrevocable trust as part of their estate planning eldercare needs which will avoid the high expenses of probate, reduce estate taxes and possibly eliminate some earned income and your parents will gain the benefits of asset protection. Speak with a qualified and good estate planner such as Estate Street Partners who can guide you through this complex process.

4. IMPORTANCE OF LIVING WILL, ADVANCED FINANCIAL DIRECTIVE AND MEDICAL DIRECTIVE IN ELDERCARE ESTATE PLANNING

You should also council your parents on drafting a Living Will in the event they are unable to speak for themselves. Learn more about Living Wills and Advanced Financial Directives and Advanced Medical Directives by going to our website. The Advanced Financial Directives and Advanced Medical Directives are extremely important in eldercare estate planning when your parents cannot speak for themselves and will protect their financial and medical wishes.

5. DURABLE POWER OF ATTORNEY (DPOA) AND ELDERCARE ESTATE PLANNING

You should know ahead of time where these documents are before an emergency arises to ensure that your parent’s wishes are followed. Having a DPOA allows someone your parents trust to act on their behalf and make legal and financial decisions for them, including the transfer of valuable assets, if they become incapacitated.

Author bio - Rocco Beatrice, CPA, MST, MBA
Award-winning estate planning & trust expert
MS - Taxation, Master of Science Taxation
MBA - Management / Taxation
BSBA - Management / Accounting
CPA - Certified Public Accountant
—–
Asset Protection Irrevocable Trust, Estate Planning
Medicaid Nursing Home Program
71 Commercial Street #150, Boston, MA 02109
tel: +1.508.429.0011 fax: +1.508.429.3034

When your parents reach the age and the stage of life where they would be happier in senior housing you may be skeptical and a bit anxious to start the search. That’s because it is especially hard to think of your parents needing care from someone other than themselves. Also, seeing them move to another home and selling your childhood home can be stressful and sad. But, just imagine how your parents are feeling. They never thought the day would come that they wouldn’t be able to properly care for themselves or would need stair lifts to go up and down the stairs. We all know we are going to grow old one day, it’s just hard to accept sometimes when that day actually comes. So, as your parents reach this stage you need to be understanding, loving, and as caring as possible. Put their needs first and yours second. That way when you are looking for senior housing you will find the best home.

One thing to look for is wheelchair lifts if your parents are in wheelchairs or vertical lifts that will help them get around in their wheelchair. Many older individuals end up needing a wheelchair, walker, or cane at some point in their lives, which means stair lifts, vertical lifts, and wheelchair lifts are all important things to look for. You should also consider a home that is only one level so that your aging parents won’t need to go up and down stairs. It could be that they are able to walk fairly well now, but as they age going up and down stairs may be more difficult or they may end up in a wheelchair. As a result you should look for senior housing that fits your parents now, but that also fits them in the future should certain things happen. It really is difficult considering these types of things, but it must be done to ensure your parents end up in the best living arrangements possible.

The best senior housing is housing that works for your aging parents now as well as into the future. Consider whether or not there is personal care, maid services, meal service, and any other necessities your parents might need should the become unable to do them for themselves. When you consider these things you will surely be able to find the best housing for your senior parents and rest assured knowing they are taken care of.

Natalie Aranda is a freelance writer. For senior housing, 0ne thing to look for is dumbwaiters if your parents are in wheelchairs or vertical lifts that will help them get around in their wheelchair. Many older individuals end up needing a wheelchair, walker, or cane at some point in their lives, which means stair lifts, vertical lifts, and wheelchair lifts are all important things to look for.

We are all so accustomed to our parents caring for us that it is so very hard when the roles reverse. We see our parents as young, strong, and invincible. But, as they age we notice how weak they have become and how much they rely on their children to help them now. Life has started changing and no longer do the parents care for the children, but the children are beginning to care for the parents. One of the things that goes along with caring for aging parents is how to handle the mobility problems that ensue when a parent begins using a walker, cane, wheelchair, or is bedridden for months at a time. Fortunately, there are wheelchair lifts, vertical lifts, dumbwaiters, and even residential elevators that assist with these problems and allow individuals to help their parents through the aging process and allow them their mobility even if it is in a different fashion than before.

It might seem difficult to make the decision to purchase a wheelchair lift or even a residential elevator for your aging parents; however these decisions have positive benefits for your parents. For example, if you have a wheelchair lift then your parents can go up and down stairs themselves without additional help. That means you don’t have to be there every single moment to ensure that your parents are ok and that their needs are met. Things like dumbwaiters are also important for aging individuals because food, newspapers, or other items may be placed inside the mini elevator and then it delivers these items to the appointed room.

Dealing with your aging parents is not easy and while it is hard to see your parents grow old and need assistance you don’t have to despair too much because there are so many options available. Your parents can stay mobile through the many devices available and you won’t have to worry about them being stuck in a single room with no way to get around.

Check into the different things that are available and the ones that would be of the most use to your aging parents. You will find that they are affordable enough to purchase and they will make life significantly easier for your parents. So, go ahead and look into vertical lifts, residential elevators, and the like to see if they will help your parents get their mobility back.

Natalie Aranda is a freelance writer. One of the things that goes along with caring for aging parents is how to handle the mobility problems that ensue when a parent begins using a walker, cane, wheelchair, or is bedridden for months at a time. Fortunately, there are vertical lifts, wheelchair lifts, dumbwaiters, and even residential elevators that assist with these problems and allow individuals to help their parents through the aging process and allow them their mobility even if it is in a different fashion than before.

As you age you start having to make some choices you might prefer to never have to make. An example is picking out your burial plot, maybe even your casket, and making a will. These are hard decisions to make, but so are the decisions that go along with the aging process. One of these is a stair lift. Nobody wants to have to use a stair lift, but it becomes important for many individuals to do so at some point in their life. So, finding the right stair lift is important and something that everyone should be aware of because it could become necessary for you at any time.

Stair lifts, for those of you who don’t know, are simply lifts that will take you up the stairs without you having to exert any effort. It is really hard for individuals to lose their mobility and be required to use vertical lifts, but fortunately it is an option so individuals don’t have to move into a new home that is only one level. This is especially true for individuals who end up having to use a wheelchair. Wheelchair lifts installed in a home allow individuals the freedom of mobility they are so accustomed to even though it is not the same freedom of mobility they had before.

Growing old is certainly a challenge and having to install stair lifts in your home may seem too much to bear. But, it is reality and you should face it. The following tips will help you find the best stair lift. First, consider whether you need a stair lift or a wheelchair lift. Will more than one individual need to use the lift? How much can you afford to spend? Style and coloring are also important because you want a lift that matches your home. When you keep this in mind you should be able to find an appropriate stair lift without too many problems. If you want some advice then ask friends and family members what stair lifts they have used and which ones they would recommend. Having a little bit of family advice never hurt and it might make you feel better, too.

Natalie Aranda is a freelance writer. The following tips will help you find the best stair lifts. First, consider whether you need a stair lift or a wheelchair lift. Will more than one individual need to use the lift? How much can you afford to spend? Style and coloring are also important because you want a lift that matches your home. Wheelchair lifts installed in a home allow individuals the freedom of mobility they are so accustomed to even though it is not the same freedom of mobility they had before.

My grandmother could not sell her house or any of Pap’s belongings for many years after my grandfather died. She just wasn’t ready to let go of the memories they had shared. No one in our family pushed her even when she let his 1971 Datsun pickup truck sit in the yard until it literally rusted and dry rotted. It wouldn’t crank so no one could move it.

The neighborhood was going down in value and crime was increasing as renters took over the 50 year old homes. Then, one day Nanny came to my mother and said, “Doris, it’s time. I’m ready to sell and get out of this neighborhood. Pap isn’t coming back. He’s not in that house or his truck. He lives in my memories and I can take them with me no matter where I live.”

My mother lived next door. She and Dad had wanted to sell for years, but they waited for Nanny to make up her mind. Once they got the okay from Nanny, Mom and Dad put their house up for sale along with Nanny’s house and the vacant lot between them that we had used as a garden plot for nearly 30 years. All three properties sold within a month at a price much higher than they expected.

Then, they found the perfect one-story house that backs up to the lake for all three of them to live together, each having their privacy in a split bedroom floor plan. It all worked out so smoothly, even the closing of the loan (HA!) we knew it was divinely guided. Mom added a glassed-in porch a few years ago with windows that open to let in the fresh air. Nanny has a place to sit outside just like she used to in the old house.

Everyone is happy with the arrangement and my grandmother doesn’t have to live alone any more. She is 90 now and truly enjoying her life.

I visited my family over the Easter weekend. I know my grandmother is nearing the end of her life, but there are few lessons she has taught me.

• Do what you want and don’t let others influence you to change your mind.
• Stand for what you believe in, even when it goes against popular opinion.
• Live each day to the fullest; give it all you’ve got and you can rest when it is over.
• Keep on going even when you feel you can’t. Life is a journey and each step counts.
• Love without expecting anything in return. Unconditional love is God working within us.
• Let others help you. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance.
• Be kind to the strangers your kids bring home. Let them eat at your table.
• Let others do as they please and do not judge them for having values different than your own.

My grandmother has had more influence that I thought. She is a remarkable woman. If you’ve ever met her, you would agree that she is at least a saint; more likely she’s an angel in human flesh!

Yvonne Perry is a metaphysical freelance writer, author and keynote speaker with a gift for assisting people who are afraid of dying or are grieving the death of a loved one. Her open style of writing is lovingly controversial and challenges people’s belief systems in order to help them grow spiritually. Get a complimentary copy of Yvonne’s E-book More Than Meets the Eye: True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife when you subscribe to her F*REE monthly newsletter. Read more about death, dying, afterlife, spirit communication, euthanasia and suicide on Yvonne’s Books page.

“My mother, who is a widow, has no savings but owns a home, valued at $200,000, and just entered a nursing home. The cost is $6,000 a month! The only way she can afford that is if we sell her house…If we don’t sell her house, the state will take it anyway when she dies, right? So what difference does it make?”

My client was in a panic, and while selling the home seemed like the only solution, I suggested the following alternative: Don’t sell the house, but instead apply for Medicaid immediately. If mom’s only asset is her home, she will definitely qualify (assuming her income isn’t unusually high).

“But if the state will take her home after her death, why not just sell it now?” my client persisted.

First of all, the state doesn’t “take” a person’s home, either during their lifetime or following their death. What happens, as a general rule, is that following the Medicaid recipient’s death, the state will make a claim against the estate of the deceased recipient, for the total amount of Medicaid benefits paid out for their care, during their lifetime. (Note that a couple of states still do not seek reimbursement following a recipient’s death, even though federal law requires it.)

Thus, if mom only lives for one year after being in the nursing home, and the Medicaid “bill” for her stay in the nursing home for that one year is, say, $50,000, then the family has a choice: keep the house and come up with the $50,000 themselves, or sell the house, pay the state the $50,000, and then divide up the balance of the sale proceeds among the family members, as provided by mom’s will.

What if mom lives for many years in the nursing home, so that the bill from Medicaid exceeds the value of the house? In that case, the state is stuck—the most it can get is the net sales proceeds from the sale of the house. It can’t go after the children for the balance.

Another reason not to sell the house: If mom applies for Medicaid now, and qualifies, the nursing home will be paid the state “Medicaid reimbursement” rate, which is always a good bit lower than the private pay rate. The actual amount the nursing home must accept varies from nursing home to nursing home, so there is no general guideline. However, assume the Medicaid rate is only $4,500/month, instead of $6,000/month. If mom dies after one year, the family may indeed have to sell the house to raise the money to reimburse the state, but it will only owe 12 x $4,500 ($54,000) vs. what it would have paid had it sold the house and paid the nursing home privately, i.e., 12 x $6,000 ($72,000). Thus, the family saved $18,000 by NOT selling the house! And that savings would increase for every additional month mom lives.

So the longer mom lives in the nursing home, the more the family will save by doing this. However, there is an upper limit: If mom lives long enough, so that the Medicaid bill exceeds the full value of the house, then in effect it will have made no difference whether the house was sold and she paid privately, or kept the house and got on Medicaid. In either case the house will have to be sold to pay for her care, leaving nothing for the family. So her age, health, and life expectancy enter into the equation.

As you can see, some careful thought must be given to this decision. What I did not discuss is the possibility of selling the house, gifting a portion of the proceeds, purchasing an annuity with some of the proceeds, adding a child’s name to the deed, transferring a remainder interest in the house to a child, transferring the house (or a remainder interest in the house) to an irrevocable trust, the interaction of the spousal protection rules if mom is married, the limitation on the amount of equity mom can protect in her house, etc., etc. To explore these possibilities, consult an experienced elder law attorney in your locale. To get a running start, however, see my book, “How to Protect Your Family’s Assets from Devastating Nursing Home Costs: Medicaid Secrets,” which discusses all of these issues and more.

© 2007 by K. Gabriel Heiser

Attorney K. Gabriel Heiser has devoted his legal practice to Medicaid planning, elder law, and estate planning for the last 23 years.
NOTE: For more information on this topic and other Medicaid planning techniques, see http://www.MedicaidSecrets.com, which describes an exciting new 256-page book written by attorney Heiser, “How to Protect Your Family’s Assets from Devastating Nursing Home Costs: Medicaid Secrets.” You don’t have to go broke to get Medicaid to pay your nursing home bills, you just have to know the rules and planning techniques. For the first time ever, you can learn the inside secrets of high-priced estate planning and elder law attorneys, in attorney Heiser’s new book.