I never thought I would be a GRG, a grandparent raising grandkids. But three months ago my twin grandkids, who just turned 16, moved in with us. The adjustment has been hard on me, my husband, and my grandkids. Fixing meals for our family turned out to be a challenge.

My husband and I eat a healthy — lots of fresh fruit, lots of veggies, whole grains, lean meat (and less of it), fish twice a week, and occasional desserts. Our diet is low in fat, sugar, and salt. We want to continue this diet, but the kids don\’t like it. I needed more information, so I logged onto the US Government Web site mypyramid. According to the site, teens need to eat lots of calcium for growing bones. They also need to get vitamins from fruits and vegetables, and eat whole grains. For more information on whole grains I printed out the “Get on the Grain Train” brochure.

The brochure says whole grains are important because they contain vitamins, minerals, and complex carbohydrates. Whole grains also contain fiber, which is necessary for good health and may protect the body against chronic disease. Could I fix healthy meals for my grandkids and us? I decided I was up to the challenge. The twins eat more than we do and I needed a system to fix healthy meals. Here\’s my system.

I MAKE OUT MENUS. The twins\’ schedule is erratic and, since I never know how many of us are going to be home for dinner, I make out menus for four days only. I cook extra food because the twins may have invited a friend for dinner.

I SHOP OFTEN. Minnesotans crave fresh produce in the winter, but it gets picked over quickly. To get fresh produce I shop late on Monday morning, after the trucks have delivered produce. Because I read food labels (which takes time) I shop every other day. I buy milk in bags at a local gas station.

I PUSH FRUITS AND VEGGIES. After I discovered the twins love fruit I put it in every dinner menu. I serve slightly warm, unsweetened applesauce with chunks of fresh apples in it, and a little cinnamon. I serve refrigerated pink grapefruit or grapefruit and orange sections. Refrigerated fruit is pricey, but worth the money. The kids also love green pears and grapes.

I TALK ABOUT SERVING SIZES. According to the US Government brochure, “How much are you eating?” a serving of spaghetti is only half a cup. Many servings are smaller than we think. I give the twins a cup of spaghetti (a double serving) and point this out to them. I also tell them to stop eating the instant they feel full.

I EMPHASIZE NUTRITION. Fats, oils, and sweets are at the top of the food pyramid. In other words, they should be eaten sparingly. The kids know I buy low-sugar, low-sat, and low-fat foods. They also
know I read food labels and are starting to read them, too.

Cooking for two generations is a challenge and I welcome it. Part of my job as a GRG is to feed my grandkids healthy, balanced, tasty meals. Every meal has a secret ingredient. That ingredient is love.

Copyright 2008 by Harriet Hodgson

http://www.harriethodgson.com

Harriet Hodgson has been a freelance nonfiction writer for 29 years. She is a member of the Association of Health Care Journalists and th Association for Death Education and Counseling. Her 24th book, “Smiling Through Your Tears: Anticipating Grief,” written with Lois Krahn, MD, is available from http://www.amazon.com - A five-star review of the book is posted on Amazon. You will find other reviews on the American Hospice Foundation Web site and the Health Ministries Association Web site.

Please visit Harriet Hodgson\’s Web site and learn more about this busy author and grandmother.

Grandparents have a very special role to play in the parenting equation and can be extraordinarily helpful, but they can also place parents in the position of feeling a little bit like middle management with all the problems that this can bring. So how do you ensure that you and your children receive all of the good things which grandparents can bring to your lives while at the same time minimizing the difficulties that they can also bring to the parenting mix?

Grandparents have the advantage of wisdom which they have acquired over long years of experience and many of the seemingly major problems which you face as new parents will have a simple solution to a grandparent who has seen the problem before. Being able to turn to grandparents as a first port of call when faced with a problem can be both extremely helpful and comforting.

Many parents also lead extremely busy lives these days and frequently both parents will be working and have careers of their own. Being able to call on grandparents to help with many of the practical day to day problems that this poses can also be extremely valuable.

Most of the problems that arise will do so because grandparents can find it difficult to accept that their job as your parents is essentially done and that, having brought you up and set you on the right path, it is now time to step back and let you get on with leading your own life. They are still your parents of course and will love you just as they have always done and will always be there for you if you need them, but their role now is to take a back seat and to step in when and only when you ask for their help. For many grandparents this presents more than a little difficulty.

In some cases dealing with ‘interfering’ grandparents is not too difficult and all that is needed is to sit down quietly with them and to have a ‘diplomatic’ word in their ear. At other times however the temptation for them to interfere is simply too strong and no matter how many diplomatic words you have with them you simply can’t stop them from throwing in their two cents worth and lending a hand.

In this latter case it’s often a good idea to take a moment to examine the situation carefully before getting too worked up.

In the vast majority of cases grandparents simply want what is best for their grandchildren and, while it is often quite a natural reaction to see their advice as interference, more often than not if you stop to think about it you’ll find that their advice does have some, if not considerable, merit.

It is also quite natural for your annoyance at their interference to overwhelm your normal sense of objectivity. As a result, minor and inconsequential issues can quickly assume an importance which they simply don’t warrant.

Grandparents are individuals in their own right with their own thoughts, views, opinions and wishes and while these won’t always coincide with your own they need to be respected. When grandparents want to do something that you would prefer them not to do, take a moment to consider whether or not this is really going to do any harm or is something that you honestly feel strongly about. If it’s something that you yourself wouldn’t have done but which nonetheless won’t do any harm or cause a problem then is it really worth getting worked up about it?

Even in cases where you believe the actions of grandparents might cause a problem it is usually possible to find a compromise that everybody is happy with. Suppose, for example, that they want to give your son a bicycle for his birthday but that you feel that he is still too young. Rather than simply reject this idea, the secret is to steer them in another direction. In this case you might suggest that what your son really needs is an activity center you’ve seen which would not only give him endless hours of fun but would also help him to develop his reading skills. Simply planting this idea in their minds and leaving them with the option to buy your son a bicycle at a later date will probably do the trick.

From time to time you may run into problems which initial probing indicates are not going to be quite so easy to resolve. When this happens the solution lies, as it does with most problems in life, in finding common ground and this is simple when it comes to disagreements between parents and grandparents. Whatever individual issues you may have or differences of opinion there may be both of you will have the best interests of the grandchildren uppermost in your minds. As long as both parties are reminded of this fact it is usually quite easy to resolve most issues.

Parenting4Dummies.com covers a wide range of topics and provides advice on child parenting, only child parenting, parenting teenagers, step parenting, adoptive parenting divorced parenting and understanding the science of parenting.

Is there anything better than dropping the kids off at your parent’s house for a well-deserved night off? They’re happy, your parents are happy, and you are definitely happy. It’s a win-win situation for all.

Far from just being reliable, free babysitters, however, grandparents can play a vital role in the upbringing of your children. The role of the grandparent is vastly different from your role as a parent, and to a child it helps complete the circle of a well-rounded life.

So why are grandparents so important? What do they offer that you can’t?

Take a minute to think back to your own childhood. How did you feel when you found out you’d be spending the afternoon at Grandma’s house? Ecstatically wild with joy? You knew there would be cookies and games and hours of imaginary tea parties. All that time spent at her home would be focused on you, playing whatever you wanted to play. Made you feel pretty special, right?

The reason you were so ecstatic might be because your grandparents had the ability to completely concentrate on you. They didn’t have to go to work, or go buy groceries or do laundry or pay bills or do the other 9 million myriad tasks that can eat up any busy mom’s day. Grandparents are pure play, and to a child there is nothing better.

It’s also important to realize that as your own parents get older they become more like children themselves. Their sense of fun and imagination are coming full circle, and your children especially pick up on that magic and respond in very powerful, positive ways. For them it’s like have a best friend, only one who has the ability to drive and buy candy and milkshakes! Grandparents can offer your child experiences that, as a mom, you might not have time to do, like spending an afternoon fishing or a whole day walking through a forest collecting leaves. Of course you play with your child, but sometimes you just can’t do it for an entire day, every day. Grandparents can and do help shape your child’s memories growing up, and as they grow older those memories become rich with love and experience.

Grandparents also help pass on important family history. How many times has your dad told your son about his experience growing up during World War II or about the student strikes during the Vietnam war? Or how many times has your daughter begged your own mom to recount the tale of when you set the living room rug on fire? Grandparents can weave tales of magic for your kids and pass along family history at the same time. This enables your children to realize that they are part of something bigger than themselves, part of a history that goes back generations. Grandparents can allow your children to discover their roots.

They also can reinforce the values you’re trying to teach them. Important characteristics you learned growing up such as honesty, fairness, and integrity had to come from somewhere, right? Grandparents help pass along these important lessons to your children just as they were passed along to you while you were growing up.

As you can see, grandparents can help shape your children in thousands of major and minor ways. They have come full circle in their own lives and now see the world in many ways as a child sees it. That kind of unity and connectedness is something that can’t be duplicated anywhere else, just as nothing can replace your role as a parent and the bond you share with your kids. It’s a magical relationship that your children will never forget.

Karen Fusco is co-founder of SilkBow.com which supports Busy Moms with free gift ideas and helpful tips to meet the challenges of motherhood. She is also co-founder of WellnessArticles.net, a directory of articles covering many areas of wellness. Karen can be reached directly at: karen@SilkBow.com