How can you be an awesome dad? Don’t be afraid to show affection, your children will thrive on it. As a dad, one of your main roles is protector. What’s your favorite Saturday activity with the kids? What separates the good dad from the true “Super Dad” is patience, humor, honesty and other critical virtues. It should be a lifelong goal to be the best dad possible, and if you are a father already there are probably many ways to improve because there are no perfect fathers. How do you rate yourself as a dad.

Kids

Kids are simple, but are really intuitive. The thing kids want most from their dads is their time and they will not understand if they are last on your priority list. Kids need physical contact, and not just from their moms but from their fathers also. Be sure to hug them at least once a day. Also take care of your health - eat healthy, exercise - because 1) you can’t take care of your kids if you’re sickly, 2) you are teaching your kids how to be healthy for life, and 3) you want to enjoy those grandkids someday.

Family

It’s part of your responsibility to keep your family healthy and fit. Your own kids are going to be members of your family for life. In the grand scheme of your family there can be no greater opportunity to become an awesome dad than to sure your feelings honestly and sincerely with them. If you’re weaving the fabric of your family’s life, make sure you thread in honesty. The world could benefit from having the mind set to take care of your family (including Mom) and yourself. Fathers’ time and support are uniquely related to fewer behavioural problems in children (aged 5 to 18) . Alone time vs Wife time vs family time vs Kid time where do you place the most important? These are not easy questions to answer, but the answers will form the foundation for helping your family grow in ways that will help them lead a healthy, helpful life.

Dads
New Fathers should help out as much as they can, sharing all types of duties equally if possible with their partners. It will build a lasting bond between not only their children but with their wife. Essentially, babies and toddlers not only listen when dads talk, they are intrigued by it, even if we don’t speak in sweet, though sometimes saccharine, Motherese . All the regular everyday dads that simply love fatherhood and everything that comes with it are the foundation of the family. Children need the differing ideas and opinions of both father and mother to make up a balance and build lasting healthy character. Kids love dads who don’t let their wife prevent the kids from going the “wrong way” on the slide.

Baby

Adjusting to life with a new baby in the house is rewarding. Be sure to take every opportunity to cherish time spent with your baby. And in fact, if you’re a dad of a baby, this is the perfect time to bond with your child. Framing the childcare fathers do as “babysitting” perpetuates the idea that women are the primary caretakers of children and begins the process of eliminating an important aspect of the childs development. It is important to spend some time every day (apart from TV, Internet, work, outside commitments, etc ) looking into the eyes, and listening to the coos, of your baby. To call it babysitting makes this supervision time a service, rather than a natural activity of parenting. But babysitting is what is done by a non parent for other people’s kids.

Don’t

You don’t want your child to go into the world knowing as little as you did, do you. Encourage you child to experience different things by sharing the experiences with them. Not only the things that interested you as a child but the things they show an interest in. Encourage learning of all types, mental, physical and spiritual. Praise and encourage, don’t reprimand and discourage. To add to your list: show affection to mother in front of kids so that they know you love her, control your temper and don’t scream at them, help them become who they truly are (not who you want them to be). Don’t contradict their mother in front of them, don’t fight with her in front of them, and most definitely don’t ever abuse her. For Pete’s sake, don’t respond by ignoring them. Don’t let them scan your brain and find it empty. Share your intelligence with them. I don’t know if it’s healthy, but it certainly is fun. I don’t feel I’ve made any big mistakes - at every turn in my life, I’ve chosen my family over my work, it hasn’t always been easy but in every case it has been the wisest decision.

Just by thinking about how to be a great dad greatly increases your odds of being one. I want to make sure that my kids can never use the excuse that they are lazy couch slugs because their dad was never a good role model. It is in those moments, no matter what life throws at you, you instinctively know that being an involved, responsible, and committed dad is living life to the fullest. Daddy isn’t grumpy all the time anymore and his patience as grown. What does this have to do with parenting and being a good dad? Everything, your kids love you no matter who you are or what the world thinks of you. Love them in the same way. Dads don’t usually talk about parenting with each other we like to pretend we have all the answers and we have everything under control. I wonder what idiot thought that up. It is not a crime not to have all the answers to all the questions but it would be nice if we knew some of the questions.

Discover ways to find your Awesome Dad Dad by visiting http://www.ghcrinfo.com a popular website that provides tips,
advice and resources on Teaching your children self esteem

Shock, horror, you wouldn’t dream of teaching a tiny baby! And yet you do. Every waking moment. You teach him to recognise everything in his nursery, home and, as his world widens , his environment. As this powerful bonding between you and your baby grows, so does his knowledge. As you teach, he learns.

“But,” you argue, “That’s not teaching. That’s just being with my baby.”

Be assured, it is teaching. It is as valid as the teaching in any Nursery, Playgroup or Pre-School. You are your child’s first and finest teacher. You know him better than any teacher ever will and, importantly, he is having one to one tutoring in the safest place on earth.

Now, accepting that you do teach your baby, why do you think it’s wrong to teach him or her that ‘this a picture is an a’ but proactive to say ‘this picture is a puppy.’ Why is a colourful kite good but a colourful kite bad?

Babies are spontaneous learners and this period of brilliant potential is constantly undervalued and lost.

WHY TEACH A BABY?

For forty years I have witnessed the crippling damage wrought by ‘Look and Guess’ reading methods. For forty years I have gathered one damaged child after another. All were emotionally scarred from having been expected to commit to memory every word in every book they read. New words could only be guessed at. Their reading aloud was hesitant and meaningless, while silent reading was like trying to decipher a foreign language. By age 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 and onward they constantly bombed out at comprehension of any text, no matter how simple. These children had no effective catalyst to turn a hotch-potch of letters and words into meaningful information.
Ridiculed daily by peer groups - and might I say frequently by teachers - they are marked as remedial. At best they drift into dead end jobs, forever intimidated and fearing rejection. At worst, though never overcoming their inhibitions, they develop a truculent resilience to authority and end up before the Courts. These were not dumb, stupid or slow children, they were all bright but those vital early years were never harnessed - they were never taught to read and so never developed the skills of thinking, comprehension or critical analysis. Every ’slow’ child I have rescued has turned out to be a very bright child who had been living in a totally incomprehensible world.

HOW DOES THIS AFFECT YOUR CHILD?

In spite of the fact that our children in the UK start school earlier than in any other country in Europe and are tested ad nauseam a huge percentage cannot read or can read only haltingly. Whilst denying the blatant evidence that standards have been dumbed down, our Government has, at last, recognized the cause of the UK’s literacy problems and has recommended the teaching of phonics. Sadly it is a watered down middle-of-the-road system called ‘analytic phonics’ where phonic sounds are learned but the same old damaging guesswork texts are still used.

Still, as a specialist in phonics I applaud the fact that children are at least learning that words are made up of sounds, a small step in the right direction.

There are, however, many teachers and Heads of Schools who refuse to embrace the phonic system. In the face of all the evidence to prove that phonics - the system by which I was taught and by which my 96 year old mother was taught - is the only successful way to teach all children to read. ‘Look and Guess’ is easy and, though it fails a chunk of the population, it’s fast and simple and that is why these people refuse to switch.

And here is where your baby takes centre stage.

Just one teacher who encourages him or her to guess at words, whether by searching the picture for clues , by memorising it from another lesson or contextually, ie fitting a suitable word into the sentence, will do years of damage to your child and its future.
By age 14 he will read ‘biblical’ for ‘biographical’ ‘lands’ for ‘lends’ ‘banker’ for ‘embankment’. To escape this damage you can start in your baby’s nursery.

Place the letters of the alphabet around the nursery and then bid a cheery “good morning” to ‘a’ or ‘b’ on the walls or ‘c’ on the floor or ‘d’ sitting on teddy’s nose. This tiny beginning is the start of your child becoming a super reader.

Synthetic phonics, which I have taught continuously since Training College in New Zealand in the fifties, is simply fast phonics to fabulous reading. Babies and pre-schoolers can have a painless path to early literacy with fun and laughter.

For those who have decided on home schooling, your child’s successful reading is vital to achieving an excellent standard in every subject. Children don’t come with operating instructions, parenting, though wonderful is a course with many obstacles. Your child’s reading need not be one of them.

MY NEXT ARTICLE

Commercial alphabets have for many years been the subject of huge controversy between me and shopkeepers. I have approached them in Australia, New Zealand and here in the UK over disastrous alphabet charts. I have found ‘w for whale’, ‘i for ice-cream’, ‘x for x-ray’, ‘x for xylophone’ and ‘c for city’ to mention just a few. All wrong and totally detrimental to the new reader.

In my next article I shall give you the perfect alphabet which leads your child straight into reading.

MY TOP ADVICE

Never push your child, play games that will have him laughing and learning at the same time.

Robyn Dalby-Stockwell is a teacher, writer, reading consultant and Director of Alonah Reading Cambridge http://www.alonahreadingcambridge.com which gives reading support to children and their parents.

We worry about our kids: their well-being and happy future are our main concerns in life. We long for them to be content and successful at whatever they choose to do. We hope that we’ll be able to provide them with the same kind of help that many of us have received from our own parents. But how can we ensure that we’re doing everything in our power to make all of this come to pass?

We can, but there’s a process. First, take a few steps back and consider what we truly want for our kids. For example, when I asked a client of mine recently to think carefully of the three things she wished for her children, who range from 16 to 9 years of age, she responded “I want them to be loving, compassionate and responsible adults.” There was no mention of rich, famous or powerful. This mother really got to the root of what she knew to be the crucial characteristics necessary for her children to live happy and fulfilling lives.

Once we have this kind of clarity about the things we really want for our kids, we can then move forward towards instilling those traits in them. But first we must be completely clear. Here what to do:

1. Make a list of what you want for your kids. Be sure your list is unselfishly motivated! Financial security, love, happiness…even for them to be blessed with kids just like them! That’s what my Mother wished for me and it came true.

Once you have come up with a list of perhaps ten items, start from the top and compare the first two items. Which is most important? Take that choice and compare it to the next item on the list. Again, which is most important? Continue doing this until you have gone through your list and the item that remains is your number one choice.

Repeat the process for your number two, three, four and five choices. This is a list of the five most important things that you want for your kids. Having prioritized, now you can do your best to assist in creating a wonderful future for your kids.

2. Important rule: You are not making decisions about your children’s personal future. That’s their responsibility and their right to determine. However, as a parent, you are certainly able to influence their future.

3. As an example, let’s say that Financial Security is on your list. Do you know what it takes to create financial security? Think of people who have managed to achieve financial security on their own. What traits do they share? Perhaps you determine that responsibility is one of those traits.

How do you create responsibility? What do you know to be true about responsible adults? My own personal opinion is that these adults were taught early on about responsibility through actual experience. For instance, most of them probably had specific chores they did at home. Several probably worked in the summers. Many of them may have learned early on to take responsibility for their own lives and not place blame on others nor make excuses. At an appropriate age, the majority were undoubtedly taught to make decisions on their own and suffer the consequences. They learned not by being told what to do but in the actual doing.

Responsibility, coupled with other strong traits you might identify, will assist your kids in taking charge of their lives.

Be forewarned: It is so much easier to just let them do what they want versus being a watchdog. Teaching a child responsibility, or anything else for that matter, takes patience, determination and commitment.

4. Be a role model. Our kids model themselves after their childhood experiences and especially as they saw their parents. As much as we said we would never be like our own parents, how many of us can see our parents in ourselves? If you want your son or daughter to be responsible, be responsible. By being a true and consistent role model, you can have the most profound influence on your children.

5. Who is this child? I love the story a friend told me recently. Her son in New York City had a visitor, a young woman in her third year of college. After spending a week together, the student admitted that her major, biology, was not what she wanted to pursue but rather what her Mother suggested. She wanted to be a fashion stylist! How could her Mother have missed that?

Do you know what excites your kid? What moves them? What they love to do? Who they really are at their core? Honoring them for who and what they truly are is the greatest gift you can give your son or daughter. Take the time to connect with them and really listen. Listen on a level where you really are hearing them.

6. Praise the positive and attempt to minimize the negative. Of course you establish consequences for unacceptable behavior. But positive reinforcement is a much more powerful tool. It’s Pavlovian conditioning and it works.

7. I love this quote: “Expectations are predetermined resentments.” Don’t set yourself up for disappointment. If you are looking for fulfillment, look to yourself, not to your children. Don’t attempt to live vicariously through them. It will only end in unhappiness for everyone involved.

8. Try to remember what really ticked you off about your own parents when you were their age. Not that it was valid. Remember we were just kids and reacted in a childish manner much of the time. But it will help to empathize with how your own children are feeling, to understand their frustrations and to be able to communicate in a more effectual way.

Almost all of us find our way in life but it is so much easier if we have the necessary tools. You know now what you wish your parents had said or done back when. Break the chain! You are the most important person in your child’s life; you can provide those tools. That is how we ensure that their future is bright.

You can live a life that truly works and you can achieve peak performance in all areas of your life. You can not only survive life’s unexpected changes and transitions but also thrive. Powerful change is possible. You are fully capable of creating a life that you choose.

Life Coaching is a proven, powerful, one-on-one professional relationship that promises to improve the quality of your life!

Learn how to create positive change in your life. Visit http://www.changecoachshelley.com and take your free customized Life Quiz and also Shelley’s Blog at http://shelleyblog.changecoachshelley.com for more tools for personal growth and power.
Contact Shelley Stile at shelleystile@changecoachshelley.com today!

A week ago, my good friend and personal life coach, visited me from out of town. It was an exciting time for us because we have been coaching each other for over two years, but we had never met face to face. We enjoyed a wonderful time together at the Hearts at Home mom’s conference, and even had time to spend an evening at home with my family. Once Debbie was settled back at home, we had a conversation about her experience with my family. She made a comment about my teenager that took me by surprise.

Debbie said, “Kai is very perceptive. He is listening to everything that is going on.” I thought about the time she interacted with Kai and remembered that the majority of the time, Kai was in a different room on the computer. The rest of us were in the family room talking and watching our wedding video. I know that Debbie is highly intuitive so I certainly did not discount her perception. It got me thinking about how closely are children are watching and listening to us. So listen up and stay alert. It’s not always the words we say to our children that communicate our most powerful messages.

Our most basic form of communicating with our children is in the words we say to them. “Suzi, please turn off the TV and do your homework now.” “Hey, great job on your spelling test!” “How’s your friend Tommy doing?” What we say to our children is important, and no doubt necessary, if we are going to have a relationship with them. Sometimes we say just the right words like “I love you”, but others times we don’t. Out of anger or frustration, we make hurtful comments that stick like glue to our children. Out of haste and business, we fall into a pattern of not communicating enough positive words. Our focus becomes about issuing commands or reprimands. We lecture with too many words and our children turn us off. For one week, try to notice all the great behaviors your children are displaying, and use your words to praise them.

How we say our words communicates much to our children. The same words said in a playful and loving tone can mean something very different when said in an angry or irritated tone. Sometimes when I am talking to my teenager, I am trying to communicate helpful words. But when my undertone is laced with fear or frustration, he does not feel encouraged. As a matter of fact, he feels criticized.

This is why it is important to realize when we say our words is critical to our communication with our children. Timing is everything. Communicating when you do not have control of your emotions is an example of poor timing. Hold your tongue, count to 10, and wait until you are calm. Sometimes as parents, we are calm, but our children are not. Maybe they’ve had a bad day or they are in the middle of a frustrating moment. Ask yourself whether this is the best time to say what you want to say. Sometimes waiting until the storm blows over can make a world of difference in how are words are received.

Have you ever been on the phone with a friend sharing something about your day? You forget that Joey is in the next room listening to every word you say. In the next moment, Joey chimes into the conversation, asking for clarification on what or who you’re talking about. Now, you can use this form of communication as a positive reinforcement for your child. When talking to Grandma, tell her what a great job Maggie is doing with potty training. Believe me, Maggie will hear you. However, if you don’t want your children to receive your words, be careful when you are talking to other people and your children are within earshot.

The things we don’t say are powerful communicators to our children. Sometimes we don’t say enough positive and encouraging words to our children. What is this telling our children? Other times we don’t communicate something important to our children, like letting a judgmental comment they make pass us by. What are we teaching our children in this moment? The things we don’t say can work in a positive way as well. If our children make a mistake, and you see the effects if has on them, sometimes saying nothing at all is the best way to handle things. By choosing not to lecture them, you allow your children to feel and suffer the natural consequences that come from making this mistake. Often times, we want to rescue our children and save them from feeling pain, but this does not teach them valuable lessons they sometimes need to learn.

The actions we take and the choices we make say a lot to our children. Whether it’s a sigh, a roll of the eyes, or a lie we tell a stranger on the phone, our children are watching and listening. You know the saying, “Actions speak louder than words”. I was born and raised in Missouri - the Show Me State. Words mean nothing if they are not backed by actions. Show your children how you want them to behave. Show your children that you love them. Show your children what you want them to value in life. By being their role model, you are communicating your expectations to them.

The other night my five year old was lying down in bed with me. He knows my routine by my actions. He asked me how much longer I was going to read. I told him I was finishing up the last two pages of a chapter and then I was going to turn off the light. He said to me, “Okay, I am going to fall asleep after you say your prayers”. In a very subtle, but powerful way, I have communicated to my child that God and prayer are important.

What do you want to communicate to your children? Think about what you say, how you say it, when you communicate, the words you don’t say, and your behaviors. These are all ways you can send heartfelt and encouraging messages to your children.

Lori Radun, CEC - The Mom Coach, is a certified life coach, speaker and author for moms. To receive her FREE e-newsletter and the special report “155 Things Moms Can Do to Raise Great Children”, visit her website at http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com

Maids and More

When you leave your child in the care of a maid, you need to realize that all your parenting ideals are essentially sent for a toss.

All parents want the best for their child, and they often take pains reading parenting books or going through parenting websites such as these, to ensure their child turns out to be confident and well-mannered, and armed with all the tools they need to be happy and successful.

When we entrust our child to the care of a maid, we are entrusting her not only with just to feed our child and make sure he stays away from harm, but we are also inadvertently leaving a large part of our child’s upbringing in the hands of this maid.

As a parent you have certain parenting beliefs. Some parents rush to pick up a child whenever he cries, because they don’t want their child to develop insecurities. Other parents let a child cry it out as they don’t want to spoil him. Similarly, some parents make it a point not to say no to their child, and would rather distract him.

However, when you leave your child in the care of a maid, no matter what your reason, you need to realize that all your parenting ideals are essentially sent for a toss. Just because you rush to pick up your child every time he cries doesn’t mean your maid does the same.

Mala was very happy with her maid, and her child was with the maid all the time. Once the maid took Mala’s son Vishal to another child, Aditi’s house, and Aditi’s mother was shocked at the way the maid looked after the child. This is not to say that the maid was mean to the child, but she certainly did shatter every parenting rule most parents abide by. The child was literally commanded to sit in one corner. If he tried to run around, the maid would shout at him and make him sit. She hit him, gently though, because he took a biscuit offered to him by his hostess, as it would soon be his dinnertime. A parent may have distracted his attention or let him eat half a biscuit, but the maid did not bother. He would try to run into another room, and the maid would grab him and sternly tell him to behave. A parent would have explained gently. Vishal has already started displaying streaks of bad behaviour. Every child is beautiful and unique in his or her own way, and it is up to the parent or caretaker to bring out the best in each child.

So what does one do?

Daycare

If you have a full-time job, you may want to consider sending your child to daycare. If you can find a good and reliable day-care, it may be a better option than leaving your child in the care of a maid. A daycare will have other children, they will all play together, and this will stimulate your child. In addition, people who run daycare centers are generally trained and educated. They will be able to read to your child, and will respect your parenting beliefs.

Camera

If daycare is not an option, keep a camera to monitor your maid. Correct her a couple of times, and if she doesn’t improve, don’t hesitate before replacing her. Your child is more important than the inconvenience you may have to go through looking for a replacement.

Get more href="http://www.indiaparenting.com/">parenting tips, from http://www.indiaparenting.com

Every parent wants a child whom they can be very proud of. It pays to be able to raise a child who can contribute a lot to the community. Thus, if you think that you want your child to be a gifted one, then it is best to learn how to develop the child’s genius.

There are many parents who will aim at improving the talents of their kids. They can enroll in classes and clinics that will enhance the innate skills discovered. This is a good way to make sure that your child get to develop his or her potential. However, many studies by expert reveal that it is better to aim for this while the baby is still in the womb of the mother. There may be many possible ways on how to develop your child’s genius. What matters most is that you know the options so that you can properly aim for the goal.

How to Develop Your Child’s Genius

Many things can be explored to develop the child’s genius. Here are some of the points to keep in mind to ensure that same goal to your own kid.

1. Encourage the Child. One good way to develop child’s genius is to have reinforcement from the parents. Words of encouragement and praise will definitely inculcate in the child the feeling of worthiness. This is the key to make sure that the child aim for more.

2. Train the Skills and Talents. It is best to observe your child constantly. Give your child the chance to explore different things that a kid will enjoy or be interested in. Look for the skills and talents your child will display. If you find that your child is natural in a certain sport, skill or art, then make sure that he or she gets to hone it. Enrolling in a clinic or class will make sure that your child’s genius will not go to waste. Support your kid all throughout and this will definitely improve the talent and potential.

3. Caring for the Baby in the Womb. It is best to develop the child’s genius while he or she is still in the womb of the mother. Research shows that the baby at this stage can be very sensitive to the environment. Thus, providing an encouraging and stimulating atmosphere can develop the child’s genius early on. The mother must have a calm and happy environment to ensure the good disposition of the baby in the womb.

At the same time, there are certain things that the mother can do to stimulate the brain and senses of the child. It is helpful to listen to Classical music that is believed to aid in the development of the potentials of the child in the womb.

4. Talk Often to the Baby. Another good thing that can stimulate the child’s genius is to talk to the baby often. The senses of a child can be developed faster if these are constantly trained by the day-to-day activities initiated by the parents.

These points will help you to learn the possible ways on how to develop your child’s genius. Make sure you get to maximize the potential of your kid. This is not only for your own pride. The development will definitely contribute in the self-fulfillment of your child, especially when he or she grows up.

Would you like your child to be brilliant, gifted, a genius? Your child, too, can be a genius. Imagine how successful your child can be with a brilliant mind, lightning-fast learning skills, an accurate, lasting memory, creativity and problem solving skills of a genius. Discover how to develop your child’s genius visit How To Develop Your Child’s Genius at All About Home and Family

Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including The Best Way to Develop Your Child’s Genius. You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author’s name, bio and website links must remain intact and included with every reproduction.

Recently, I wrote on virtues and wasn’t quite sure where it would go. But, it ignited an underlying passion that I hadn’t felt in a while, so I’ve decided to make it a series. Virtues fit so well with the concepts in my book Zooch the Pooch, My best Friend, how we treat each other, how we raise our children and how we see ourselves in this very interesting world.

I covered three virtues in the previous article: politeness, fidelity and gratitude. I’m going to examine only one this month…humility and being humble.

According to Mr. Webster, to be humble is to: not be proud, haughty, arrogant or assertive. Synonyms were lowly, meek or modest. Not to be proud caught my eye. Webster said proud meant showing or feeling superiority over others.

I felt a stab in my stomach when I read how proud was described. I had always been taught to be proud of my accomplishments, not rub them in the face of others or be showy or arrogant about them, but to be pleased and develop confidence from it.

Many of the self-help and motivational books out today tell you to acknowledge your successes and celebrate them so you become accustomed to being successful. I agree with the descriptions of haughty, arrogant or too assertive, but pride, at least in today’s world, and to me, needs to be a part of our lives even if only a small part.

When it comes to children I think it’s hard not to be proud. We take pride in their accomplishments as they learn, is that considered wrong? Not if you don’t hold it over another child or parent. We take pride in our local sports teams, is that also wrong? To the sports fanatic no, but to the rest of us who observe over-the-top enthusiasm which destroys property, public drunkenness and the foul language that often goes with it, then yes, I think it is wrong.

How do we share these differences with children? Parents need to take time to point out the behavior which is acceptable and that, which is not. Children will take your lead if you are giving them life’s lessons from the heart. If adults are the one’s who act inappropriately their children will emulate that behavior, resulting with a child who will in all likelihood repeat your mistakes instead of avoiding them.

I feel that we can take great pride in different things in life and still be humble. It is when we become too assertive, over-bearing or disdainful that we exhibit traits that beg for some discipline and virtue.

Our media and entertainment industries today have led young people to believe that the more extreme you are the more “cool” you are. More extreme sports, language, music, and lurid public displays are deemed “in” and encourage our kids to outdo each other with even more outrageous acts. Outrageous has become the name of the game.

This attitude is leading kids toward a big let down as they discover that it may be cool when you are still in school, but that in the outside world it won’t get you very far. Unfortunately, it results in a poor overall education, leads to less than desirable jobs, relationships and experiences.

Instead of raising our standards in America, we are lowering them to a level of the uncouth, uneducated and unprepared, combined with mean and ordinary. That’s not the America I want…do you?

So, how would a modern person display humility or humbleness?

They would be a person who was strong of character and integrity, living life to it’s fullest, but not flaunting it, one who carries no conceit, yet receives everyone with equality and benevolence. He or she would be honest, happy, confident, friendly, accepting, and focused.

Teaching ourselves to live in this manner, as well as our children, will result in a society that sees itself as unassuming, yet polished, proud, yet, unpretentious.

Virtues are interesting when you look at them this way. We can see how, by some simple changes in our actions, we can improve the lives of our children and ourselves. Pick one day in which you will watch yourself to see if you are living your life in a virtuous manner or if you need some adjustment too. Many of us do, we aren’t perfect, but we can shoot for it, right?

Anyway you look at it; it’s one man’s opinion, mine.

Keith E. Renninson is a motivational speaker and co-author of the popular parenting tool and illustrated storybook for children, “Zooch the Pooch, My Best Friend”. Through the 1990’s with much self-examination, academic study, bicycle racing, and mountain climbing, he discovered a renewed zest of life, which included a love of metaphysics, philosophy, humor, and writing and speaking. As Keith says, “Some days you’re the pigeon and some days you’re the statue…it’s all in what you make of it.” You can read more about “Zooch the Pooch” or his new book “101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life” or to contact Keith go to: http://www.zoochthepooch.com

It is a universal fact that all parents want their children to be happy and healthy. It is also widely accepted that positive emotional development will play a big role in how healthy and happy your youngster really is. Encouraging your child’s emotional development will begin about the day that you bring that precious bundle home from the hospital, and will not end until the day you send him off to college. However, the toddler years are a key time for encouraging your child’s emotional development so that he will grow into a happy and well-adjusted child and adult.

The Importance of Identifying Emotions

Imagine that you are at a play date with your two-year-old, and you see your child swipe a toy out of the hands of another tot. That child screams in anger and hits your child in the arm with his rounded fist. What just happened? Children at this stage are beginning to learn how to communicate with one another, but the vocabulary is not there to support their need for communication. This leads to frustration, which results in a scenario like this one much of the time. This is the perfect opportunity to begin to teach your child how to identify emotions and needs and communicate them effectively to the world around them, which will encourage your child’s emotional development.

This process will begin with a parent’s example of stating needs and feelings and acting upon them appropriately. You can explain how you feel in various situations, so that your child can begin to associate a particular word like “happy” or “angry” with certain emotions that he is feeling. This will also teach your child that feelings are legitimate, but the way we express them needs to be acceptable. Your child can learn to say things like, “When you took that toy from me, it made me angry.” This gives your child an outlet for his feelings without needing to resort to a physical response like hitting, and will encourage your child’s emotional development in a positive way.

When your child does communicate a feeling to you, make sure that you acknowledge his emotion as well. If you see him looking angry, tell him that he seems angry, and ask him what is wrong. Allow him to express his feelings and the cause of them to you, and this process will become a healthy habit in his life. You can take his communication to the next step by asking what he thinks will make him feel better. This will teach your child valuable problem solving skills that he will carry with him throughout life.

Handling Tantrums and Building Independence

Another method of encouraging your child’s emotional development is through the method with which you decide to handle his tantrums. It is generally not a matter of “if” tantrums will be thrown but “when”, and the “when” usually begins around the age of eighteen months. Many experts agree that the best way to deal with a tantrum is to ignore it until the child wears himself out and regains self control. The height of a fit is not the time to try to exercise parental authority, since this will generally only serve to escalate the situation. Once your child is calm, you can talk to him about the appropriate ways to voice his displeasure or frustration over a particular issue.

Building independence is another way to encourage your child’s emotional development, since learning to complete tasks on his own will build his self-esteem and confidence. A confident, independent child is usually a happy one, so allow your child to begin to dress himself and help with basic chores around the house when he is ready and able to do so. Most children will love to feel like they are a productive and contributing member of the family, and these tasks will encourage your child’s emotional development in very positive ways.

Copyright 2007, More4kids Inc.

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Parents! Do you know what your children are doing online? Do you really know? When your son or daughter says they are doing homework on the computer, are they in an area where this can be verified? Or are they locked away in their bedroom, using the computer to do who knows what?

Millions of Americans were riveted to their television screens during the series “To Catch a Predator” that Dateline NBC aired showing dozens of predators who were attempting to meet up with people they thought were teenagers. In most of the cases, the men caught on tape on Dateline NBC thought they were going to the home of a 13 year old whose parents were out of town. 13 years old!!

These people were folks from every walk of life. There was a teacher, a rabbi (!), a busdriver. What was really shocking was that many of these folks already were working with children in their jobs every day.

YouTube ran a spot that showed what a chatroom would look like if the people involved were actually in a room together. You might wonder “what is that 50-something, married bald man doing talking to the 14 year old girl?” Of course he told the girl that he was 15. And who is the ‘Psycho’ guy who’s obviously mad at the world and everyone in it? And who are those two single guys over in the corner having a private conversation? Except for the twist at the end, this YouTube spot was pretty true to life about what chatrooms are like and the type of people who frequent them.

Chatrooms are extremely popular among teens and young adults. Chatrooms are also targeted by predators trying to get with these kids for sex. This was obvious in To Catch a Predator and is inferred in the YouTube spot I mentioned. Social networking sites are also common among the young.

MySpace has been in the news lately because of the predators on that site looking for young people to victimize. MySpace and Facebook are the two top sites known as ‘networking’ sites for people to make friends. However, because of the relative ‘anonymity’ of the Internet, these are places that predators frequent looking for children to victimize. Many parents are wary of letting their children have a MySpace account at all; however, quite a few teachers and school personnel are reporting that kids as young as 5th grade claim to have profiles on MySpace.

On a forum that I like to frequent (which has a large number of users who are parents), one of the posters reported that some strange words had come up during searches. Words like “sex”, “boobs”, etc. This poster has several children; among them a son who is 11. However, shockingly enough, it wasn’t the 11 year old who had been searching for these terms online. It was her six year old and his friends!! Six years old!! Now, I know kids will be curious and boys will give in to their curiosities. This is a normal part of growing up. But if I were the parent, I’d want my child’s curiosities NOT abused by an online predator, looking to make a victim out of my kid.

What can parents do to ensure the safety of their children? First of all, parents need to talk to their children often about what types of things their children are interested in. Not only is this good communication, this can ensure the safety of a child. Second, parents can warn their children about online predators and how they often appear to be a friend at first. Third, parents must warn their children NOT to EVER give personal information out on the internet. No real names, phone numbers, addresses, or whatever. Fourth, parents must create a line of communication that allows their children to come to them and talk about it if they have been frightened or disturbed by someone online.

The FBI and law enforcement have been working toward making the internet a safer place for people in general. It is easier today than it was even six months ago to catch and prosectute an online stalker. This is an evolving subject for law enforcement, but great strides have already been made. If you feel your child was threatened, contact law enforement.

I have included a link to the actual YouTube chatroom spot on my website, which is dedicated to the safety of young people online. Like I said earlier, this “chatroom” is pretty true-to-life, but it shows what it would be like if the people were actually sitting in a room together. My site can be found here:

http://www.geocities.com/questionmarque/parents_peace_of_mind.html

I’ve been a single father of a 3 ½ year old for a while now, and have noticed that in many ways my daughter was sent to this earth to teach me humility. And it’s funny, because although humility’s the last thing that I thought I needed, it’s the one thing that I’ve surely received, and I’m most definitely glad I have a little bit now. Saint Augustine said of humility, “Humility is the foundation of all the other virtues hence, in the soul in which this virtue does not exist there cannot be any other virtue except in mere appearance.”

Before my daughter got here, it seems that all dad was concerned about was making money, fishing, and drinking. Now, dad doesn’t care about making money or actually getting to go fishing, and doesn’t drink even a drop of alcohol. Now dad cares about such things as love, peace, and his daughter. I’m sure you’ve heard it said that God works in mysterious ways…well as someone who doesn’t believe in or practice any religion, I would have to agree totally. God most certainly works in mysterious ways.

I didn’t even want to be a parent. Or at least that’s what I thought. Had you asked me 5 years ago if I wanted children, I would have told you something like, “I don’t even like kids, how could I want children.” I find it interesting, because I still don’t care for other peoples kids, but mine is a different ball game.

Is it possible that without my daughter incarnating into this world, that I would have never learned of humility? I suppose that’s a question that can’t be answered, but I have to doubt it. Looking back it’s obvious that I was entirely too concerned with myself and what I could get. I feel as if God looked at me and said, “Okay, enough of this, I’m going to make this guy a parent and teach him some things, because all he’s learning now is how to drink more beer and still perform his stupid job.” Maybe not in those words, but God must have been thinking something along those lines…either God or may daughter, one of the two.

At the end of the day I’ll never know why it happened, all I know for sure is that it did happen and that parenting was God’s way of teaching at least one person humility. Which, it seems to be, is kind of how this whole thing works.

Trevor Kugler is co-founder of JRWfishing.com and an avid angler. He has more than 20 years experience fishing for all types of fish, and 15 years of business and internet experience. He currently raises his three year old daughter in the heart of trout fishing country…..Montana!

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