Being chubby or ‘large’ is not so easy now a days because the press, media or in other words society wants you to be skinny. Guys see what is fashionable and skinny, anorexic, little itty bitty things with no waist or curves to speak of are attracting in my school now a days. If you can’t find a date for Friday or your always being stuck with “your my friend, just my friend”…. do not worry I have been there , am there and maybe always will have difficulty getting a guy because I am a ‘chubster’.

It is not so bad since most teenage guys are going threw puberty and just want to figure out the physical part of a relationship not the intimate part. I am mostly talking to middle school and maybe even early high school. We are not done growing you could lose that fat without puking up the dinner your mother cooked for you or not eating until you can see where your rib starts and where it ends. The thing is I am not that big most of you ‘chubby’ girls aren’t either.

I have learned to appreciate my body for being what it is. I know, your probably thinking how could that be! It’s almost inhuman to dislike your body. I am comfortable with it, I will not make excuses to why I wear a size 12 pants which by the way is huge to most the girls in my school. I used to be awkward and avoided most of the good looking guys. But then one day I woke up and said who gives a f***? I slowly built up my self esteem, becoming more self assured and in the end I started to socialize. Now some guys will see your weight but most in the end will look past that. Or just acting normal like you love your self and use that I-don’t-give-a-damn attitude towards what people think of you, guys naturally gravitate towards that. I have a friend Britney she is an ‘extra large’ girl but she has everything I just spoke about and she gets a lot of boyfriends.

I would hate to see your teenage years waisted on stupid thoughts about how your could be better, instead of how you are better.

My name is Stephanie Liegh Kaltenbach, I am in my first year of high school. I grew up in Georgia and me and my family didn’t have much money. Then when I was eight we moved up to Oshkosh, WI. I’m living with my parents and my huge Saint Bernard dog Moose now. I have a good life as a ‘chubby’ girl and a nice boyfriend Danni.

If you are interested in summer camp jobs, there are a few basic questions you need to ask yourself first. The most important questions you need to ask include:

Do I enjoy working with children?
Do I enjoy being outdoors?
Do I have experience working with children?
Have I worked with children within a similar setting before?

If you answered yes to all of these questions, you are the ideal candidate for summer camp jobs. But, if you answered no to the last two questions, you still might be great for a summer camp. Just be aware that you might have a slightly more difficult time finding summer camp jobs that you are eligible for if you do not have experience to back up your interest.

Deciding What Type of Summer Camp Jobs are Right for You

Whether you are experienced or not, there are several steps you can take to help guarantee the summer camp jobs you consider are right for you. First, you need to decide what type of camp you want to work for. For example, are you interested in a residential camp or a day camp? At a residential camp, you will likely be expected to stay on site both day and night along with the campers. At a day camp, on the other hand, you will be able to go home each evening. If the camp is near to your home, this wont be a problem. If the camp is located far from home, on the other hand, you will need to find your own housing if you decide to work for a day camp.

Choosing Summer Camp Jobs that Match Your Philosophy

In addition to deciding whether you want a day camp or a residential camp, you need to also be aware that each camp has its own philosophy. Some are competitive while others are not. Some specialize in certain sports or activities while others are more general. Some focus on teaching new skills while others are more recreational in nature. Be sure to find camp that suits your personal philosophy. Otherwise, you will struggle with performing your job properly.

Getting Started Right Away

If you have decided that you are truly interested in pursuing summer camp jobs, you can’t wait until the last minute before applying. In fact, most camps have their returning staff in place already by fall. If spots are still available, they begin the interview process over the summer and the early spring. Therefore, waiting until the summer to begin applying will be too late for most camps.

Doing Your Research

Before you start browsing through available summer camp jobs, do a bit of snooping around. If you know someone that has worked at a specific camp or has any type of experience with a camp, ask him or her about the experience. Find out if it is truly a good place to work for our not.

Once you have combed through the summer camp jobs and found the one that is perfect for you, you will be starting down a magnificent path toward a job with numerous rewards - namely, life long friends and the knowledge that you have made a difference in many young lives.

Find summer camp jobs this summer. Hundreds of summer jobs listed everyday for FREE! So whether you’re a student or a teacher on summer break, OnlineSummerJobs.Com is for you. Visit there now: http://www.onlinesummerjobs.com

A child with special needs and learning disabilities is someone who is different developmentally and formatively from normal children. This is either due to a physical, mental, or emotional handicap, a formative delay, or a particular learning disability.

Nowadays, a lot of educational allowances are accessible to families in order to assist them with the extraordinary costs of giving special educational or related services to children with special needs. This, very often could include a very gifted child with certain physical and mental disabilities.

Assessment of developmental problems

Kids with developmental problems are entitled to educational evaluations as part of the medical clearance process. No sooner has it been suspected than parents ought to describe the child’s developmental problems on their medical history form.

This is so that evaluation and treatment plans of the childs educational needs may be devised early in the child’s life. Experts, with special education degrees, in the field emphasize the importance of early intervention.

Children with learning problems ought not to be considered abnormal. They just have a different way for handling information. The solution lies in parents and teachers finding out what the childs processing system is as it helps the kids compensate with their strengths. Since developmental problems affect several aspects of a child’s physical and psychological health, oftentimes the assessments are extensive.

The assessment of a child having trouble in school could include an educational evaluation as well as the special needs of a child such as speech, hearing, and neurological examinations, plus a series of psychiatric interviews.

Processing a childs developmental problem

If developmental problem is suspected when parents are abroad, the family should have the child examined by a Regional Medical Officer, Regional Psychiatrist, or Nurse Practitioner. Parents also ought to get written reports from a school so that the problem can be fully understood.

It is unlikely that a full assessment will be completed immediately. The complications of the issues often call for a multi-specialty approach. This is why evaluations are usually done. However, a medical evacuation is not normally required.

After the assessment is done, the child will be cleared to return to post. Then the school at post will have the benefit of the childs specific educational recommendations in trying to develop a program for the child. However, before the child is cleared for an onward post, a letter from the proposed new school will is required.

When making a clearance decision for the child, assessors and the Medical Division often consider the appropriateness of boarding school placement or home study options or online special education courses.

Pederson writes content for learning pulse a website that offers valuable information on special education for gifted children and recognizing signs of learning disability.

An allowance is an important part of growing up and plays a significant role in developing the ability to manage money. Seen this way, your management and communication about it may be different than if you think of it as just a tactic to control the inflow of toys into the house.
When to begin a kid allowance? Age six would be the right time to start, after kids can count and begin to understand the price of different things they want to buy.

And, how much to give? A good rule of thumb is $1 for every year of age, or so says TheAllowance:It’s Not Just About Money in the NewYorkTimes. Or, as the article counters, “half of that,” noting that most people decide the allowance based on a very unscientific survey or friends and family.

The New York Times article cites a Yankelovich study, breaking down allowances to $5 to $9 for six to eleven-year-olds, and $10-$19 for 12 to 17-year-olds (which conveniently fits the rule of thumb). Like so many things in the financial area you’ll have to figure out the most appropriate rate for your own area and child, and expect continuous negotiations, as your children get older.
A few other things to keep in mind:

1. Keep the allowance accounting simple and clear. If you hold the money in your wallet for your child, keep written accounts that the child can monitor easily. You don’t want to be in a “he said, she said” situation due to a few bucks.

2. Experts disagree on whether allowance is an “entitlement” or a quid pro quo for doing chores. Some think it’s important that the child see the value of work to earn money, while others think kids need to understand that chores are a thing you do as part of the family, and are separate from the allowance. Like a lot of things about parenting, it’s hard to say which is right or wrong, or best for the child as a life lesson, and much will depend on your own philosophy or worldview. You might consider a blend of the two where certain chores (ex. taking out the garbage, emptying the dishwasher, and shoveling the snow) are part of the family responsibility, while other work is compensated by or outside the allowance.

3. Given that an allowance is a key aid in teaching money management, pay out the allowance at a regular time each week without fail. Keeping a tight schedule, like a paycheck, allows your child to plan and budget, which are the skills you are trying to develop.

4. Consider putting away an extra sum for charity or long-term savings so that the child can monitor this over the long haul. Avoid making this an accounting issue by keeping the math simple (ex. $1 week = $52 year into a charity fund to allocate at the end of the year) and only reporting on it at longer intervals, say quarterly.

Amazon has several books on raising smart money kids , and the New York Times article recommends Raising Smart Money Kids by Janet Bodnar of Kiplinger’s Personal Finance (I have not read this book). Much of allowance rules and amounts will be subject to change over time as kids develop their own tastes and needs that fall far from the opinions and view of mommy and daddy. Making a six-year-old pay for their own movie with mommy and daddy is not the same thing as watching your 17-year old roll out the driveway on her way to make her own movie choices. Good luck with the evolution in your thought process, while trying to keep a modicum of consistency in your communications.

Author is an expert author for dad and kids related advices for e.g. kids allowance You can contact anytime for kids or parenting related issues.

If you have a young daughter, then you have most assuredly been introduced to My Little Pony® toy figures. These vinyl toys have been a staple of many toy-boxes since their introduction by Hasbro© in 1981. These mass-produced figurines come in a huge variety and each character has its own sticky-sweet name like Rainbow Dash, Minty, Sweet Berry, Rarity, and Thistle Whistle. If the names alone didn’t make these little mares irresistible to little girls, then their colorful tails and manes, “brands” painted to their flanks, and various adornments will definitely catch your daughter’s eye in the toy-store.

Once a child’s heart has been captured by one My Little Pony® character, others are sure to follow. Many times these toys become one of the first collections a young girl pursues, always looking in the toy aisle for a different character to add to her growing stash of play pals. Hasbro© has obliged this fascination by producing new and ever more adorable ponies, which now include unicorn and winged Pegasus-type characters.

So how does a caring parent get involved with their daughter’s room full of plastic ponies? By getting down on the floor and playing out tea parties and visits to the Rainbow Castle, which will be to the ongoing delight of your child. However, if parents end up playing regularly, the themes can become redundant as many times the play follows story lines the child has picked up from the simple My Little Pony® cartoon movies on the market. Since this precious, quality time doesn’t include a television or Nintendo®, it is important to propagate this one-on-one, imaginative play as much as possible. Here are five theme ideas that can use several ponies at one sitting, adds some real world thinking skills and can ultimately add enjoyment to this time spent playing with your child.

1) COSTUME PARTY THEME: Have your daughter pick out eight ponies to come to a Costume Party at Rainbow Dash’s home. As each pony “arrives” to the party, you and your daughter take turns describing what kind of profession or specialty the pony is pretending to be “dressed” as. For example, “I spend time in a fast car and I am wearing a helmet and gloves”. Rainbow Dash will then try to guess what the pony is dressed as, which in this case is a racecar driver. Other professions that have unique outfits or jobs to describe can include a doctor, mechanic, zookeeper, librarian, grocery clerk, policeman, fire-fighter, and scientist.

2) NEW KID IN CLASS: Have your daughter pick out five ponies for a classroom and one pony to be the new kid in class. The new kid comes in to introduce herself and each of the “classmates” introduced themselves by name and gives the month of their birthday, favorite color and their favorite subject in school. The new kid then has to recite this information back to acknowledge each of her classmates. When the child gets stumped, the parent can chime in with a reminder.

3) COOKING SHOW CLAMMER: Have your daughter pick out five ponies for an audience and one pony for the chef. You are going to play out a cooking show theme, which will include each of the ponies requesting a special recipe to be made by the “chef”. As the chef begins to put together the dish, the ponies all yell out what ingredients she must use and how to cook the specific food. For example, Chocolate Chip Cookies would need flour, butter, eggs, salt, chips, and sugar. Now mix into a mixing bowl. Spoon onto a cookie sheet and bake in the oven. Other examples that have simple ingredients for girls to call out can be chocolate cake, omelet, pizza, spaghetti, and hamburgers with all the fixings.

4) DISNEY THEATRE: Have your daughter pick out a Disney classic movie she enjoys or has recently seen to become the stage play for the ponies. Some ideas include Aladdin, Snow White, Cinderella, 101-Dalmations. Then pick out appropriate number of ponies to become the actors. Together you will act out the scenes to the movie and talk about which scene you each remember. This can be very imaginative as you each take on the Disney character acting through the pony. If you have soundtracks to a particular movie, it is fun to act out the play in musical style, having the ponies move while you both sing along.

5) ZOO IN THE HOUSE: You and your daughter will create a zoo using each of the ponies as a particular animal. As the zookeeper, you will go from pony to pony while your child gives you a hint as to what animal the pony is portraying. This can be done by making the animal’s sound, or by expressing what the animal would like to eat. For example, the pony that pretending to be a monkey, can ask the zookeeper for some bananas. The zookeeper guesses right and feeds the monkey other things this animal would enjoy then moves on to the next “zoo animal”.

Anna Chavez is a former Editor Owner of a large weekly Newspaper. She is currently Editor and Author of several online resource sites that can be found at http://www.thirdplanetsearch.com

As the parent of a pre-teen or teenager, you may long for the days when you could hold your child on your lap and they were eager to talk, laugh, and play with you. Those days may be long gone, but you can still find ways to connect with your teen. Here are a few tips to make process easier.

Talk About Your Past Experiences
If your teen is having a problem, they may think they are the only one in the world who has ever had that particular problem. Talk to your teen about the situations you experienced as a teen. The clothes and music may have changed, but you still dealt with peer pressure, sex, drugs, and homework. Let them know you understand and will be there for them, if they want to talk about their problem.

Express An Interest
Make time for your teen, and express an interest in what they are doing. You don’t need to use this time to lecture them, or even talk. You can simply sit and watch their favorite show or listen to their favorite band. Try not to pass judgment or criticize anything. Just make time to “hang out”. Your teen will appreciate your interest and this will help develop open lines of communication.

Let Them Know When You Are Wrong
It is hard to admit when you are wrong, especially to your children. However, admitting your mistakes, and apologizing if necessary, will strengthen your bond with your child. It will also let them know that it is okay to admit the things they have been wrong about.

Let Them Know You Love Them
They may roll their eyes and shrug whenever you say “I love you”, but they do care, and they like to hear it.

Go For A Drive
Ask your teen to take a drive with you. You don’t have to have any particular place in mind, just start driving. The simple fact that you are in the car can help open up a conversation, and since you are not looking each other in the eye, it may be easier for your teen to talk to you.

Take Turns Listening And Speaking
Make a deal with your teen that when you are having a conversation, only one person can speak at a time. If you are speaking, your teen needs to sit and listen. When it is your teen’s turn to speak, show them the same respect and listen to what they are saying.

While your goal is to have a better relationship with your teen, you still need to set boundaries and let them know that you are the parent. Teens may complain about rules, curfews, and chores, but secretly, they like the fact that you care enough to set them in the first place.

Need more tips on parenting your teen? Visit Parenting My Teen for free tips, resources and a bi-weekly podcast dedicated to helping you parent your adolescent.

Education is not restricted to school. Reading and training are part of your education. Set your mind to making money and you will succeed. Right now you have no idea how much money you will make in your life so don’t put any limitations on it. Get into the habit of building a positive image about money,

It may seem a silly thing to do but the results may impress you. Thoughts are things put them to use for you. Think good thoughts and good things will happen

Recently I read a very interesting book from two famous authors; Donald J. Trump and Robert Kiyosaki called Why We Want You to Be Rich. Both of these gurus feel that lack of financial education is the cause of the world economic problem. In this book he shares about vision that most people never see. Both of them share what they think and why they think the way they do, through their eyes you will gain additional insight how one can improve your financial future.

Your education fund is the first priority in your goal setting we want to give you a tip on how to make it grow. Once you have set up an account with either your local bank you need to plan how to put money into it.

One of the best ways is make deals with your parents. Tell them college is a big dream of yours and that each month you are going to put $20 into your account. Ask them to match it. Your parents will like that you are helping pay for your education and it shows that you are willing to work for it, suddenly you are getting twice as much money and your account is growing faster than it otherwise.

In the first year you will put $400 into your account and with interest you could have saved over $500 at the end of the year.

Financial education is very important to everyone who wants to seek a better life at a time when we all need to be financially equipped for the future we face.

Your teen buddy
Christina
http://teenagermoneyhabits.blogspot.com/

Sound is everywhere. It can travel through solids, liquids, and gases, but it does so at different speeds. It can rustle through trees at 770 MPH (miles per hour), echo through the ocean at 3,270 MPH, and resonate through solid rock at 8,600 MPH.

Sound is made by things vibrating back and forth, whether it’s a guitar string, drum head, or clarinet. The back and forth motion of an object (like the drum head) creates a sound wave in the air that looks a lot like a ripple in a pond after you throw a rock in. It radiates outward, vibrating it’s neighboring air molecules until they are moving around, too. This chain reaction keeps happening until it reaches your ears, where your “sound detectors” pick up the vibration and works with your brain to turn it into sound.

As long as there are molecules around, sound will be traveling though them. That’s why if you put an alarm clock inside a glass jar and remove the air, there’s no sound from the clock. There’s nothing to transfer the vibrational energy to. It’s like trying to get a ripple on a frozen pond. The rock just stops on the surface.

Sound can change its travel speed. Another word for sound speed is pitch. When the speed slows down, like with drumming, the sound speed is low. With clarinet reeds, it’s high. Guitar strings can do both, as they are adjustable. If you look carefully, you can actually see the low pitch strings vibrate back and forth, but the high pitch strings move so quickly it’s hard to see. But you can detect the effects of both with your ears. The range of your ears is about 20 – 20,000 Hz (cycles per second). Bats and dogs can hear a lot higher than we can!

Let’s try out some experiments with sonic vibrations:

Bobby Pin Strummer: Straighten three bobby pins. (A bobby pin, when straightened, has two different sides – a smooth side and a rippled side.) Wrap a rubber band tightly around the base of an empty tin can. Slip in a clothespin under the rubber band, jaw-end first. Add three clothespins, about 120 degrees apart. Clamp the rippled end of a bobby pin into each clothespin, so that your contraction low looks like a can with three legs. Strum each pin, one at a time. What happens if you clamp the pins at different heights?

String Test: Push the end of a length of heavy string and a length of light thread through a hole punched in the bottom of a can. Tie the ends inside the can to a paperclip so they stay put. The can should have two different strings coming out of the bottom. Place the can near your ear as you strum each strand. Can you make the pitch high and low? What other types of string, yarn, thread, fishing line, etc. can you use?

Mystery Pitch: Blow across the mouth of an empty soda or water bottle to make a whistling sound. Add a little water and try again. Add more water and try again. Add more water.. What happens if you use a glass bottle? Place an empty glass under the sink faucet and tap the side of it with a fork and listen to the sound. Slowly fill the glass with water while you continue to tap. What happens if you use a spoon? Knife? Whisk? Wooden spoon? Of these two experiments above, which one increases the pitch and which decreases the pitch?

Phonograph: Pierce the bottom of an empty plastic container (such as a butter tub or yogurt container) with a tack. Choose an old record that you don’t mind scratching and place it on a turntable. (In a pinch, you can place it on a pencil tip and spin, but this takes practice.) Use your new “stylus” and hear the music! Doe the size of the container matter? What if you use a pin instead of a tack?

Easy Guitars: Wrap a rubber band lengthwise around a ruler. Push a pencil crosswise (perpendicular) under the rubber band. Pluck the rubber band. What happens if you move the pencil? What if you use a different kind of rubber band? What if you use a different sized ruler?

Sneaky Clocks: Place an alarm clock (the kind that ticks) or a timer that is ringing on a table and listen. Now place your ear on the table. Fill a zipper bag of water and press it between you and the clock to hear the difference. Next, place the clock in a closed metal can (like a cookie tin or coffee can). What about a paper bag? A glass jar? A newspaper-filled shoebox?

Stryo-Phone: Make yourself a telephone by punching a small hole in the bottom of two cups (foam, paper, tin… is there a difference?) and threading string into each one. Tie the end of the string inside the cup to a paper clip so the string stays put. Cut the phones apart and tie each end to a slinky and try it out. What happens when you bang the slinky into different things, like walls, metal chairs, wood tables, or the floor? Untie the slinky and try a wire coat hanger, fork, spoon, or other kitchen utensil.

Since 1996, Aurora Lipper has been helping families learn science. As a pilot, astronomer, engineer, rocket scientist, and former university instructor, Aurora can transform toilet paper tubes into real working radios and make robots from junk in the back desk drawer. You can download the free science experiment workbook at http://www.SuperchargedScience.com.

Finding summer jobs for teenagers has not always been easy, but now you no longer have to worry about what your kid can do to earn their own money. Recently I found some different sites online that offer information about what kids can do. Below is some of that information, along with questions to think about to help you come up with your own ideas.

Ideas for summer work:
Parks and Recreation Programs
Babysitting during the day of school aged kids.
Working part time at a day care for the summer.
Car washing
Put on garage sales
Work at local vegetable stands.

And now on to the questions.

Working outside:

What do you have to do each summer to make your lawn look nice?
What do you have to do to keep up your garden, or gardens?
What has to be done around your house outside to go from winter to spring, spring to summer?

Working inside:

Are there any chores you specifically do not like to do?
Would it be easier to have someone do all your once a week chores?

Family:

Would it be nice to have an occasional helper for the kids?
What kinds of things do you do as a family?
Which of these things could you do together to make money?

The easiest way for you to find ways for your child to make money is to think about inconveniences. Such as the questions above, think of things you need done, or would to have done, and what you would consider paying for these things to get done. Once you have some ideas, you can sit down with your child and talk to them about what they would be interested in doing. Then once you have an idea of what they want to do you can help them come up with fair prices.

After this to advertise you would want to start with your friends and family or your neighbors. Preferably you would want to only have your child working with people you know and trust, or in the least bit you could have your child pick a partner. That way with each of them carrying cell phones, even those without service can call 911, they will be much safer.

You can find out more information and many more ideas for kids to use to make money on their summers off, by visiting http://www.kidswantmoney.com, the author of this article is also the owner of the new website http://www.biznetwomen.com, where you can find all the resources you need for business women online.

Campus Calm had the opportunity to talk with Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M., LCSW, about why students are increasingly becoming more packaged for success and the price they’re paying in the process. Kendrick, author of “Take Out Your Nose Ring, Honey, We’re Going to Grandma’s” (Unlimited Publishing LLC), is a licensed psychotherapist, noted national speaker, social commentator and author.

Campus Calm: Our first question stems from your article, “High Achievers: What Price Are They Paying? A Harvard Interviewer’s Honest Assessment” that was published on FamilyEducation.com. Why do you think high school and college students today are increasingly becoming more packaged for success?

Kendrick: Because there are many parents who are frightened, guilt-ridden and anxious about whether or not they can guarantee that their kids will get into the “best” colleges and have “a wonderful life.” I think that much of the hyper-parenting that produces this pressure cooker on children is more due to guilt than anything. It’s a result of parents feeling they are not spending enough time with their children and not really being “good enough” parents.

So if you can’t have fully realized, loving intimate relationships with your children you may be able to compensate by treating them, well-intentionally, but never-the-less like a commodity, which will eventually be “bought” by a college. You can do that by micromanaging their life from preschool on. That includes telling them what courses to take, compelling them to excel in one sport, perhaps even in one position. Some kids are sent to summer camps at very young ages to specifically learn skills that have to do with one specific position for a sport, as opposed to kids playing. There’s no time to play now because you have to go about the business of assembling your success portfolio. Some parents are obsessed with this.

Campus Calm: Is this spread out across all social classes?

Kendrick: In my research and in my professional experience, this is an obsession that is certainly more dominant in the “moneyed” classes, although the contagion does spread up and down all the classes. Scholarships withstanding, it’s typically only the moneyed that can pay for the elite schools and camps. Money is a factor and buying into the notion that the right college will confer a great life. Of course, that totally delusional belief is sometimes as embraced by folks who are not moneyed and not in a higher educational status.

Campus Calm: What’s the harm in packaging kids for success?

Kendrick: Well, I think when you are handled like a detergent, being created, packaged and sold by an ad company, it’s dehumanizing at the core. It is an orchestrated attempt to author who someone naturally is. It communicates to children, “You’re not OK as you present. You need something or someone to guss you up.” I think it’s unnatural and ultimately dehumanizing to take children and basically tell them that they’re not good enough as they stand.

Campus Calm: If some parents have hovered over their children for years and they now realize that it was a mistake, how could they go about changing their relationship with their teens? When their kids are used to having their lives scheduled and mapped out, can they just easily switch over to being more independent?

Kendrick: These parents have usually greatly disabled their kids, encouraging an unhealthy dependence and reliance on them for directing most aspects of their kids’ lives. That said, many, if not most of my teen patients, as well as teens I talk to in my seminars, would welcome their parents backing off of micromanaging their lives.

I would recommend that parents have a series of discussions with their teens in which they acknowledge their mistakes as hovering, micromanaging, anxious parents and the harm this suffocating parenting has caused their kids. I would then have parents tell kids that their role will be supportive, encouraging and directed at cultivating their teens resourcefulness, independence and resilience. Parents will go through some forms of emotional withdrawal from their former roles as hovering managers of their kids’ lives and teens need to understand that this transition will probably be more difficult for their parents than it will be for them.

Campus Calm: How can students begin to look at an education as an end in itself and not simply a means to get a high paying job with all the status and presumed happiness that goes along with it?

Kendrick: It’s very hard for students when so many people are telling them, “This is the road to success.” You go to this school or a school like this. Then you may be told you need to go to grad school. You also need to do summer work that shows the schools that you’re applying to that you are very serious, whether you are or not. This is the equation; this is the formula. You just plug yourself into this and you are guaranteed that your life will be rosy.

Somewhere along the line, we miss teaching kids that it’s in the process; it’s in the challenge and the hard work to learn something. The best experience my daughter had in school was working so hard to get a B- in Physics when she got A’s in basically everything else. She was more proud of that B- because Physics was something she didn’t take to that easily. The other things came easy to her, meaning she wasn’t necessarily challenged by them intellectually. Now somebody may have looked at her report card and said, “Hey, what happened here with that B-?”

Campus Calm: Each student excels in one area and struggles in another. How can parents & educators encourage them to define and enhance their unique skills while never labeling them “lazy” or “dumb” in the areas that they may struggle with?

Kendrick: There has to be a paradigm shift here and the paradigm shift has to be early on with parents and educators - and anyone who encounters the child. I have seen enough kids to know that children show you who they are very early and if you’re not paying attention to who they really are - meaning their curiosities and the natural rhythms of their life - and instead you have your blueprint for them and you basically ignore the natural life of the mind of the child, then you’re trying to pull the hardwiring out of your child.

The paradigm shift must be on the emphasis on further encouraging and emphasizing the child’s natural abilities and interests and skills set that they show you early on. That is not to say you neglect what they might have trouble with. You recognize their “deficits” but you don’t make them the focus. Nobody does well at everything.

Campus Calm: A teacher recently wrote to tell me that she sees students more stressed out about grades than ever before. A few of her students started crying when they received a “B” on a test because they were afraid to go home and face their parents. How has this happened and what can we do about it?

Kendrick: We need to change how we raise our kids to view the word success. Most people would argue that Mother Theresa was successful. Now if you check out Mother Theresa’s academic background you will not see Mother Theresa blowing any academic institutions off the charts. Would we consider that she gave a lot to the world? Would we consider that musicians and artists that we revere who never made it out of high school gave a lot to the world?

“Wait,” say many adults, “don’t encourage children to think that they don’t have to go to school.” That’s not the point. It is that we all have some inherent abilities and encouraging them and perhaps showing children how they can manifest those abilities and marry them with some sense of purpose and mission that’s gratifying to them, not their parents and larger society.

Campus Calm: The only way to reach success in life is to make mistakes and learn to deal with the occasional failure. Do you think our education system encourages students to learn how to handle this notion? If not, how can schools work to help kids take chances and appreciate mistakes as part of the process?

Kendrick: We need to let children know that challenges do not always equate with an honors grade. It takes bravery and courage and being vulnerable. We need to teach kids to be open to “failure.” If you’re only applauded for your honors grades, or for the school’s you get into or for the money you make doesn’t that put an awful lot of pressure on what happens when you don’t?

Campus Calm: I want to change topics for a moment and talk about perfectionism and how it contributes to both male and female students developing unhealthy body images. Campus Calm believes that self-love is a driving force behind success in life. How can young people develop healthy relationships with their bodies and their selves despite our culture’s preoccupation with outward perfection?

Kendrick: How does a young person who’s seeking to be appreciated, liked and wanted - how do you tell them not to buy into the magazine covers and the music videos and that culture of perfection? It’s pointing out again that there’s something wrong with you. You’re average academically and now you’re not thin enough or your breasts aren’t large enough or your hair isn’t straight enough. Or to a young boy, because I’ve seen so many young boys take steroids: “You’re not tough and strong enough.” I don’t have any magic answers on how kids cannot be seduced to hate and detest and loathe their bodies.

All I can say is when you can make friends and make relationships that have nothing to do with how popular you are perceived socially, how much of a hero you are athletically, or how much of an academic star you are, hold them close because they are then appreciating you. Whether you put on 30 pounds, whether you get your teeth capped or not, whether your dad drives the newest car.

Especially in the area of adolescence, it’s our friends more than anybody who helps determine our sense of self. If you can find in your travels someone who really appreciates you for who you are and for what you actually want to be known as, know that this is the essence of meaningful relationships despite the seduction of perfection. Look for those relationships with friends, as they will help you define yourself around those things you don’t have to fine tune.

Maria Pascucci is the President of Campus Calm (http://www.campuscalm.com).
She helps high school & college students find balance, reduce stress, increase self-confidence and get out of overwhelm. Free reports for students, parents and educators are available with free subscription to Campus Calm Connections. Maria lives in Buffalo, New York with her graphic designer husband, Shaun, who shares the homepage of their personal writing/design website (http://www.creativetypeco.com). Contact her at maria@campuscalm.com.