Are you stuck in divorce indecision and feeling lost, confused and as if your life is falling apart right in front of your eyes? I was there too, and not only survived the ordeal, but was stronger having lived through it.

I\’ve never been accused of being overly sympathetic to those people suffering from chronic misfortunate in their lives because I believe we manifest the majority of the bad luck we encounter by our very own destructive thought patterns.

Divorce, however, is complicated because it involves two human beings and one of them is usually much more at fault than the other. The problem is, that fact really doesn\’t matter because both of you are going to suffer the consequences of divorce and it\’s generally the party with the “best” lawyer, and I use that term lightly, who comes out with fewer emotional and financial bruises.

If I were to have done things differently when I was making my decision on whether or not my relationship was truly over and if I should file for divorce or not, it would have been to hire a professional counselor to guide me through the transition.

I made a lot of financial mistakes because of emotions, ignorance and indecisions. A counselor will work with you one on one, really listening and evaluating everything you say in order to offer you constructive feed back and guidance. They are knowledgeable in divorce proceedings as well as possible relationship remedies you may not have been aware of.

I, myself, would still have pursued divorce but I would have tried to convince my ex-husband to use divorce mediation instead of hiring divorce attorneys. Ending a twelve year marriage was sad, but the financial devastation both myself and my ex experienced at the hands of self serving attorneys and unnecessary judicial proceedings, magnified our misery a hundred fold and shaped our barren financial landscape well into the future.

Right now I\’m sure most of the people reading this article are feeling one of two ways:

One, your unhappy in your current relationship and are seriously considering whether you should stay and work things out or whether you should go ahead and call it quits.

Or Two, you have already made the decision to end your marriage and want some type of confirmation that you have made the right decision

A professional counselor can certainly help you with both of these questions, but at $75-$100 dollars per session, it certainly isn\’t cheap. Throw in the fact that if you are like most couples in unhappy relationships, money is most likely what you fight about and is often the cause of your marital unhappiness, it\’s likely you simply can not afford the $300-$600 per month this could end up costing you anyway.

It is difficult to put a price on happiness or to even make an accurate guess as to how much a counselor could save you in the end, but if she does nothing more than convince the two of you to seek divorce mediation, you\’ll be thousands of dollars ahead in saved attorney\’s fees alone. The devastating financial cost of a divorce is usually why the majority of them turn so ugly and the two parties resent each other for years to come…sometimes at the expense of your children. There is another option…

For anyone considering leaving a relationship or getting a divorce, got to http://www.grapevineassociatesinc.com/divorce for more info on avoiding costly mistakes. Myla Madson is a relationship expert and founder of the popular women\’s website http://abrandnewyou.org

I\’m not a big fan of lawyers because they usually need to be hired when things are going wrong and in my opinion, only add to the misery. The retainer alone for a typical divorce is between $2,500 - $5,000 dollars, just to get the ball rolling.

When you go through a divorce, your finances are going to take a huge hit, even when you don\’t take into consideration the fifteen grand the attorneys milk out of you. And finances are often the cause of marital turmoil in the first place, so divorce only compounds the problem.

A recent pole was conducted on what topic most couples fight about the most often. Well of course money, or lack there of, won the pole. And it wasn\’t even close!

Fighting and worrying about money are the two most destructive things couples practice with religious regularity in most marriages. Every fight or worry takes a bite out of the relationship and leaves it\’s mark until there\’s so much bitterness and hatred for the other person, it would be impossible to ever reconcile the marriage even if the lack of money suddenly no longer existed.

Lack of money can be a temporary thing, but the caustic emotions and venomous insults hurled at one another during the experience can last a lifetime and be impossible to recover from. I suppose it\’s possible but I\’ve certainly never seen it done.

With this in mind and assuming for the moment you have not crossed these invisible boundaries, here are three things to consider when a woman decides to entertain the discussion of dwindling finances with her man:

One - Believe in him. More than just about anything, men crave your support. Especially if you are having difficulty with your finances and things are not going exactly as planned. The absolute last thing he needs is a critic, he already knows things aren\’t as they should be. He knows he\’s stumbling and in danger of losing sight of his hopes and dreams, he certainly doesn\’t need you piling on. He needs your support and encouragement. If he sees you have lost faith in his ability to provide, he will quit, his spirit will be completely and utterly broken and there will be no chance of pulling out of this downward financial spiral.

Two - Be kind. Men are fragile creatures whether you want to believe that or not. If you disagree with a course of action your man has taken and you think you have a route that may lead to a better result, try and guide him back on course instead of being forthright and critical. Remember how you treat a new friend when your opinions differ and how diplomatic and considerate you are of that person\’s feelings, your man deserves the same respect. And limit your criticisms to the things that really matter. If everything he does bothers you, why are you with him in the first place? Perhaps it\’s time for a self evaluation.

Three - Be tolerant. Your man is not a work in progress, quit trying to change and mold him into something he\’s not. Accept him for who he is and encourage his interest and needs, even if they seem immature or a waste of time and money. Men need alone time as well as time with their guy friends. Just as you need to get your nails and hair done every two weeks, he needs to golf or have a beer or two with his buddies on a regular basis.

Trying to change a mans behavior is an absolutely horrible and cruel thing to do. You would not want him to consider you a “diamond in the rough” and constantly try to polish and shape you into his ideal version of what he thinks you should be, would you? If his behaviors are a complete turn off and are financially ruining you, once again I ask, why are you with him in the first place?

These three considerations will go a long way in smoothing out some of the relationship bumps, but if you are no longer able to even consider any of these suggestions, maybe it is time to consider calling it quits. Divorce ain\’t cheap though. It\’s emotionally and financially devastating to both people involved and should be considered carefully.

You can pick up a wonderful guide at my website to help you decide if divorce is the right decision for you, and should you decide that it is, this guide can literally save you thousands of dollars in costly mistakes you can avoid during this trying time.

For anyone considering leaving a relationship or getting a divorce, got to http://www.grapevineassociatesinc.com/divorce for more info on avoiding costly mistakes. Myla Madson is a relationship expert and founder of the popular women\’s website http://abrandnewyou.org

If you have gotten to the point that you need help saving your marriage and identifying risk factors that are working against your marriage from the start, then you need the best information available now to save your marriage today from destruction and becoming another divorce statistic.

If you want to help save your marriage you must know that marriages either grow or they crumble, they don’t remain passive, meaning that a secure marriage isn’t one where things are always the same. A strong, solid marriage is a marriage where one never stops trying to make things better.

If you want to help save your marriage today and understand why your marriage has gotten to this point you need to understand the behaviors that will lead you to further destruction or will help you strengthen and help save your marriage.

If you want help to save your marriage today you must begin by identifying the top six risk factors of divorce today. Many marriages are challenged and start off with many risk factors, while others marriages begin with factors that are in their favor (good risk factors).

If you want to save your marriage today, you must also know that these are only risk factors, not determining factors for marriage survival. If you have more risk factors against you, this may mean you will need to seek extra help such as expert help or counseling to work through the issues in your marriage to be able to stop a divorce or separation.

These factors are the things you can’t change but…

1. You may need help to save your marriage if you married in your teens. Statistics show that if you marry before twenty that this may be the most powerful and consistent risk predictor of marital stability.
2. You may need help to save your marriage if you lived together before marriage. Despite the widespread prevalence of this belief, the evidence says living together before marriage considerably increases the chances of divorce, unless you were already engaged beforehand and marry soon after moving in together.
3. You may need help to save your marriage if your parents or your partner’s parents were divorced. Statistics prove that children of divorce are more likely to divorce themselves, this risk doubles if both partners are children of divorced parents.
4. You may need help to save your marriage if you had a child together before marriage. However, couples with children have a slightly lower risk of divorce than childless couples.
5. You may need help to save your marriage if you haven’t been married long. The longer you’ve been married the more likely you are to stay married. The first two years are the most critical, but half of all divorces happen by the seventh year of marriage.

6. You may need help to save your marriage if your annual income is less than $25,000. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers considers financial problems to be one of the five top reasons for divorce.

If you need help saving your marriage you may be at ease knowing that the following predictors are in your favor. These predictors apply to when you were married and do not include factors such as good communication and conflict resolution skills that you now currently possess in your marriage.

1. You were both older when you were married. Marrying after age 25 decreases your chances of divorce because you tend to be more mature and clearer in what your looking for in your partner.
2. You share the same religious beliefs. This tends to give a marriage a higher purpose and brings you together on a spiritual level. These shared religious values can help keep your marriage growing together, as opposed to apart.
3. You have some higher education, this decrease the chances of divorce in comparison to a high-school drop out.
4. Your parents are still together and what you learned about marriage comes from watching your parents. If you’ve learned strategies that helped your parents stay together your chances of divorce decrease.
5. Your income is above $50,000, couples in this income bracket tend to experience less stress over money.
6. You have a child together, couples with children again, have a lower risk of divorced compared to childless couples.

   Keys to a successful marriage really boil down to three things; people want to stay, people feel they ought to stay in their marriage, people feel they have to stay. It is not luck and love. This personal, moral and structural commitment is what keeps marriages together, not happiness. Research shows us that unhappy periods in a marriage are not predictors of our future. If you want to save your marriage consider these factors, but do not rely on them solely, if you need help to save your marriage, then seek it.Statistics also shows that couples who were unhappy with their marriage who stayed together were happier or very happy five years later.

   If you have gotten to the point that you need help saving your marriage and identifying factors that are working against your marriage from the start then check out SaveMyMarriageTodayOnline.Info

Are you at the end of a relationship and finding it hard to come to terms with your loss? Are you finding it hard to understand why your relationship has come to the end in the way that it did? Are you feeling that this may be something that you just can’t get over? Do you just want the pain and anguish to go away so that you can heal and start over again? If you are experiencing a bad relationship break up then you can certainly understand the negative impact that it can have on your emotions and also the feelings of the people that love and look out for you.

In my career as a hypnotherapist I have helped hundreds of individuals with soothing that pain and hurt that comes from hard relationship break-ups. Some people that I have seen see it as the end of their world and in the first instance find it very hard to move on, put it behind them and get on with their life. For them this is a real pain that is not even comparable to the worst kind of physical pain. If you are suffering in this situation right now then I want to offer a message of hope and say that how ever hard it is to believe right now, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just hang in there.

With the clients that I help, I use hypnosis, this is done on a one to one bases or through my hypnosis download for break ups. Hypnosis basically works to reprogram the part of the brain that we call the sub or un-conscious mind. It is the sub-conscious mind that holds all of our thoughts, beliefs, memories, behaviours and habits, so it is a great place to start to deal with the negative impact of your break-up. By soothing the pain and other emotions related to break ups you can then start to look at your situation differently – in another light. This allows you to make decision about your future with more clarity.

If you are serious about getting over the pain and discomfort of a relationship break up then I wish you the best of luck and success. I suggest that you start with a hypnosis recording or download or even look up your local hypnotherapist to seek their help.

I really wish you the best of success in this and remember – this is not the end of the world – you are strong enough to beat this.

Richard is an expert in helping people through break ups. Try his hypnosis download for breakups today!

The decision to leave a marriage, when there are children involved, creates many unsettling questions: Will the kids be okay, how will they handle having two homes, two lives, parents that don’t live together? Will they be angry at me? Am I being selfish by only thinking about myself?
The good news is that studies have shown that Divorce isn’t a traumatic event for children. The bad news is that what happens after can be, though it is something in your control. So take the reigns immediately and focus on your children’s transition into this new living situation.

Your job as a parent has always been to care for, protect and love your children at all costs. Your job now, is still that, but with even more emphasis on how much they are loved. Once you accept that, you are ready to focus on the transition of your children having two homes, each that provides a safe environment and a parent figure that loves unconditionally. Here are a few ways you can make the transition into having two homes a little easier.

The goal is to make each house as self-sufficient as possible for your child:

1- The only bag they should have to bring is their school back pack, which they are used to bringing everywhere anyway. Each house should have all the clothes they need for the amount of time they spend there. Even if it means going to the store to buy a whole new set of clothing, do it. It’s a small inconvenience for you, but will assure them this is “home.”

2- They should have a room in each house that they feel safe in. Whether they share a room, or have their own space, let them help you create the space the way they like.

3- Have books, games, computer and video games that they are used to having.

4- Do not try to recreate the old house. Each house does not have to be the same, as little differences will be what make your time and your space, special.

5- Set up routines, just as you did as a larger family and create new ones as well. Often we want to win them over by having fewer rules, yet in fact children flourish with routine. Children need routine and if they’ve always had it, they will need it now more than ever.

6- Have family dinner time. No one ever said “family dinner” had to be a certain amount of people. Family dinner merely means a time for you to all sit down, eat and share a piece of your life with each other. Don’t give that up, no matter how loud the TV calls to you.

7- Talk, talk, talk. Be direct. Ask them how it is for them having two homes, without fearing the answer. Ask what their favorite part is, as well as what the most difficult part it. Then just listen, no matter what their answer is. This open communication with them, one that is safe for all feelings, will assure them of your love for them.

The goal here is to have them feel that no matter which parent they are with, they are “home”, not just visiting. Think about what makes your home feel homey and then create that for them as well. You will be amazed at how well they adjust. The old saying really is true: Home is where the heart is. And hopefully they will experience an even happier heart from you than they ever did before. Don’t get stuck in the fact that it isn’t going to be the same, because you are right, it isn’t. I will repeat that: it isn’t going to be the same. But now is the time to embrace the change and see what great things can come from it!

Lesley Moore is President and Owner of LifeScope, Life and Executive Coaching. She specializes in working with individuals in transition, empowering them to create a life they love and with professionals to help them bridge the gap between expectation and performance. She is a Freelance Writer and co-author of: 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. Lesley graduated from the University of Maryland with a degree in Journalism and has studied coaching through the Mentor Coach Program, which is recognized by the International Coach Federation. For more information about Life and Executive Coaching, visit her website at http://www.LifeScopeCoach.com or e-mail her at lessmore4@comcast.net

How to protect your assets during a divorce? Protecting assets through a divorce can be a complex financial process further complicated by the emotional devastation. If you are going through a divorce it may be important to you to determine ahead of time what your assets are and how you will protect them from your spouse.

The first step will be to hire a lawyer familiar with the laws for dividing property in your state. Good legal council will prove invaluable in defending your claims to property and can give you names of appraisers and accountants to help your case. Your divorce lawyer will also assist you on how to remove any Powers of Attorney granted to your spouse for control of your property and finances.

There are several steps you should consider when trying to protect your assets during Divorce:

1. Identify everything that was given to you as a gift or family heirloom.

2. Identify community property.

3. Hire a professional appraiser.

4. Figure out how you will split retirement and physical assets.

IDENTIFY GIFTS AND FAMILY HEIRLOOM TO PROTECT ASSETS DURING DIVORCE

A camera will prove to be your best friend during a divorce. You should make a list of all items which were given to you before and after the wedding and take pictures of these items prior to removing them from the residence. Once you have compiled your list you should remove all your personal items to a location not easily accessible to your spouse.

Your spouse will be within their rights to claim any items you leave behind in the residence and do not immediately claim. If you or your spouse left the residence voluntarily, either of you is entitled to return at any time and retrieve belongings. If locks have been changed, except in the case of a court order, you are within your rights to have a locksmith open the doors. Your next step will be obtaining, if possible, written proof of who gave you the items and when they were received.

COMMUNITY PROPERTY ASSETS

Community property of assets refers to the belongings shared by you and your spouse, such as the furniture, pots and pans, etc. It is important to take pictures of these belongings as well before you remove the items you wish to claim as your own. Photographs are especially valuable if there are expensive items you would like to have but did not have the ability to move and you feel your spouse may try to take them. All photographs should be kept in a secure location not readily accessible by your spouse.

HIRE A PROFESSIONAL, INDEPENDENT APPRAISER FOR DIVORCE ASSET PROTECTION

Division of property during a divorce is determined by the fair market value of the disputed items to ensure one party is not being favored over the other during settlement. An appraiser will be necessary to determine accurate estimates, although you should consult your lawyer on finding a qualified individual.

Using the same accountant who handled your assets in the past may seem suspicious and a court may order another appraisal or rule in favor of your spouse’s accountant. It is critical that an appraisal be straightforward and unbiased for the protection of assets during Divorce.

ESTATE PLANNER CONSULTATION TO DIVIDE AND PROTECT ASSETS DURING DIVORCE

When considering how to divide assets prior to divorce settlement, it is wise to consult a professional estate planner or financial analyst. For example, if you are thinking about selling your home it may be wise to do so prior to settlement since you are entitled to deduct up to $500,000 of the sale from capital gain taxes.

Selling the home after the divorce is final and reduces your benefit to only half of the sale price. Retirement assets and stocks should also be discussed. If you and your spouse choose to split the retirement benefits you must sign a Qualified Domestic-Relations Order (QDRO) which notifies the pension sponsors how to pay the benefits. Although you cannot take stocks in your spouse’s name you may be entitled to the proceeds once they are sold.

EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE ON DIVORCE ASSET PROTECTION

Some states, such as New York, are known as “equitable distribution” states. “Equitable” mean “fair” and assets will not be divided right down the middle based on their fair market value. Division of assets according to New York Divorce law states that all property obtained prior to the marriage still belongs to the individual and all property obtained afterwards will be distributed by the court based on established guidelines.

The factors a court considers in equitable distribution states for divorce assets are:

1. The difference in income and property from when the marriage began to the date divorce was filed.

2. The age of both individuals and how long they were married.

3. The needs of a parent who has won full custody of children involved (i.e. will they need the house to properly care for the child?).

4. Any loss of pension or inheritance.

5. What contributions the parties made to acquire the property.

6. Future earning potential of both parties.

7. Tax consequences.

If you are considering divorce it is wise to consult a lawyer as soon as possible to ensure the protection of your assets and help you understand your rights as they pertain to individual state law. For maximum protection Estate Street Partners is available for consultation during and before a divorce.

Author bio - Rocco Beatrice, CPA, MST, MBA
Award-winning estate planning & trust expert
MS - Taxation, Master of Science Taxation
MBA - Management / Taxation
BSBA - Management / Accounting
CPA - Certified Public Accountant
—–
Asset Protection Irrevocable Trust, Estate Planning
Hide Your Assets Now
71 Commercial Street #150, Boston, MA 02109
tel: +1.508.429.0011 fax: +1.508.429.3034

In today’s American society, with approximately 52% of marriages ending in divorce, it is a given that you will encounter a friend or family member who has become an inhabitant of that niche of humanity. It may even be you.

In most cases the children are awarded to the wife or there is joint custody. Depending on the reasons for the divorce and the personalities of the separated partners, the father is often the one who is on the short end of the stick. (I am not a man, by the way.)

As a Facilitator for a Divorced/Separated/Widowed, Support Group I know from whence I speak. Those who do not make a plan to move away from the anger and resentment can end up in harming their children by the constant bickering and sniping at each other. This is called emotional immaturity. Some go to the extent to try to “win” the children’s affections away from the parent who is not present…Similar to children who say, “Na, na, he likes me more than you!”

I think they call that childish behavior.

It is always refreshing to see a parent who in spite of the odds goes the extra mile to continue demonstrating love for his or her children, regardless of who spends the most time with them.

I recently had a conversation with Jeff Herring, extremely successful, Internet

Business/Writing Guru, who is a divorced father of two sons, 5 and 12. He has been divorced for a year and a half.

Knowing that he had just moved from Tallahassee, Fla. I asked him, “Did you move from Florida to Atlanta, Ga. because of the business prospects or to be closer to your children?”

He said, “I was very settled in Tallahassee with a great practice and thought I would never leave. Then my ex moved north of Atlanta with the boys, so I was going to move up there no matter what, even if I had to be a greeter at Wal-Mart. All of the incredible business opportunities, including the relationship radio show, occurred after I was in the 8 month process of moving up here.”

“So, you have shared custody?” “Yes.”

“What fun things do you do with your kids?” I asked.

“Hunting, fishing, camping. There is a huge, heated pool at the gym I belong to. We have the Braves, Falcons and Hawks games in Atlanta and other cool stuff. I wrestle with them. Once a month I take them to a really nice restaurant so they are exposed to different things.”

“What nice/fun things do you do for yourself?”

“Go to the gym, play racquetball, play with the boys.”

“I already know the extent that you will go to, to be at your son’s ball games when you are willing to change a money-making tele-seminars, so you could be at his game. Very impressive!”

“Do you have any difficulties concerning child-sharing from your ex?”

“Not really, just small annoyances-for instance, she was mad at me Monday night because I was not going to be finished with the tele-seminar, that I was the Featured Guest on, before she had to leave with our youngest boy. No big deal, I’m used to it.”

“And we all know you stopped in the middle of the tele-seminar to say “good night” to your 5 year old son. Hearing that big smack of a kiss on the air was a classic, very loving and sweet.”

“Well, he needs to know I love him!”

As readers, you can draw your own conclusions as to whether Jeff is a good father or not. I have!

All too often in the anger, hurt and resentment that arises from a divorce, the children are often made the pawns. They are sometimes urged to tattle on the other parent, or sometimes told untruths in order to make one adult feel better about their decision to divorce. This is so unfair and just plain unconscionable.

YOU DID NOT DIVORCE YOUR CHILDREN! If you truly love them and are an intelligent, mature adult, you will put the feelings and future of your children in front of your desires to hit back. Children do not forget how parents treat each other. They are learning every day how to be adults and they are learning it mostly from YOU!

If you have frustrations that make you feel like you want to slug the other person, bite it back and later go tell it to a close friend or a Therapist, write it in your personal journal, but not to your children. Go to the gym and punch the punching bag, lift weights, run a few laps, anything physical that releases the bad omens.

If you wish to have happy, well-adjusted children who will succeed in their lives, their feelings should be your first priority. If you want loving children, you must be a loving parent. By truly loving them, you will in turn love yourself more.

For more tips and tools to on how to survive divorce and loss and make healthy relationship choices you are invited to visit http://www.Butterflyintonewlife.com or upathubbard@gmail.com

Patricia Hubbard has Facilitated a Support Group for Separated, Divorced and Widowed people for the past 11 years. She has been the writer/ producer of “SINGLES PERSPECTIVES” in Virginia Beach. Besides her writing, coaching separated, divorced and widowed persons occupies most of her time.

Do you want to save your marriage today and stop a potential marriage separation or divorce? Do you feel as if your marriage is lacking spark or you just can’t get it right? Do you fear a marriage separation or divorce is the only answer?

With one in three marriages ending in divorce, consider what effect is has on you and your family and whether or not you want to become another divorce statistic?

Have you considered getting help to save your marriage and stop divorce or separation? You should give yourself and your marriage every opportunity to succeed. There are techniques you can apply to help save your marriage today and stop divorce or a separation.

Do you want help in healing your relationship, resolving those painful conflicts, putting an end to the silence? If you want to help save your marriage you must learn how to communicate effectively and learn how to accept each others differences without the stress and pain of a separation or divorce. You don’t need to regret wishing you could have done something to help save your marriage. If your wish is to save your marriage act, learn how to apply techniques that work, do something now, to save your marriage today.

I am sure most of you have tried ineffective methods to help save your marriage. There are millions of couples today that need viable techniques to help save their marriage. Not knowing proper techniques only make things worse and the techniques they’ve used to help save their marriage or stop divorce only end in disaster. Having the right information is vital when when you need to save your marriage today.

With the right information I believe anyone can have the marriage of their dreams, if you apply the techniques that work you can help save your marriage too.

• Do you know learning how to communicate better does not solve your communication problems and won’t necessarily help save your marriage or stop divorce. You’ll find that it simply teaches you to fight better. What you need to focus on is to give up on arguing. It always inevitably leads into a battle of opinions, and neither of you is likely to change, especially if either or both of you are stubborn.
• Learn how to identify risk factors for divorce and why you should ignore them. Become aware of the top six predictors of divorce and how to confront them head on. If you know the steps to having real power in your marriage, then you can help save your marriage and stop divorce.
• The Real Marriage Killer: Loss of love and intimacy and how to recognize the real dangers in your relationship could help save your marriage, prevent you from separation or stop divorce. The real danger is not when you are arguing all the time, but disillusion and disappointment in your marriage can end it in divorce or separation.
• Affairs: How to spot them and prevent them before they occur. You can learn when affairs are likely to occur and happen and prevent them before they happen by watching out for troublesome areas in your marriage. If you suspect an affair you should not come straight out and accuse your partner, but learn what techniques work best that will actually help save your marriage.
• Lack of Commitment: If you’re involved in something (or someone) else (workaholic, Internet), you’re not involved with your spouse: learn how to spot how modern attitudes towards marriage that can work against commitment and can actually do harm and sabotage your marriage.
• Growing Apart: Keep it from happening to you! You should know how to read your partner like a book and be able to identify crises and danger zones. By knowing how to identify them you can help save your marriage and spare yourself a lot of pain. Learn how to spot them before it causes a marriage separation or divorce.

Most couples fail to stop a marriage separation or divorce because they fail to take action. They fear that it may be too late. In order to help save your marriage, you need to have patience and perseverance to get through the tough times. But never give up on your marriage.

When facing marriage problems or trying to stop a divorce, you know that time is of the essence. To Save Your Marriage Today you can not rely on ineffective techniques.

Get expert information now at SaveMyMarriageTodayOnline

How to tell if your spouse is cheating on you? Unfortunately the clues are not really that obvious nor are they very reliable. If your spouse is being very careful it will be very difficult to tell if your spouse is cheating.

If you suspect that your spouse is cheating, then take the time to come up with a plan and do some investigating on your own. If you have a gut instinct that he/she is cheating, 9 out of 10 times you will be right. That feeling will be there for a reason, don’t ignore it, check it out. If you suspect that your feelings are correct then here is how to tell if your spouse is cheating.

1. Pay attention to your spouse’s behavior. Are they suddenly buying a lot of new clothes? New undergarments of a different style? New perfume or cologne? Do they spend an unusual time in front of the mirror, changed hairstyle or grooming habits?

2. Look for physical signs. The obvious lipstick on the collar, also look for bruises or scratches on the back or shoulders. Does your spouse’s laundry smell like men’s cologne or woman’s perfume? Check their laundry daily and if you can, check their bare back and shoulders every night after they are asleep.

3. Have their driving habits changed? Does the car need gas more often Than before? Monitor the odometer closely to see if they are putting a lot of unexplained miles on the car.

4. Monitor the time they leave for work and come home. Keep a note book and record everything, this should enable you to establish a pattern. If your spouse says that they are working late, check the pay stub for overtime to verify.

5. There may be unusual changes in their usual routines or habits. They may want to be with their “guy or girl friends” more often. And if you offer to go with them they will have all kinds of excuses why you can’t go.

If you use the methods explained above to find out how to tell if your spouse is cheating on you and you find that they are cheating, what do you do next? First, don’t panic, stay calm, you don’t want them to know that you know. This can be really hard but you should treat your spouse the same as you always have. Be an observer, let him/her show you their cheating ways and give them enough time to collect some hard evidence.

If your spouse is cheating, do you have a plan of what to do next? You should think about what you want. Do you want a divorce, a separation or do you want reconciliation? You should know exactly what you want before you confront them with the evidence. If you have done your work properly beforehand you should be in control of the situation and hopefully the outcome. If you are unsure, please consult a family lawyer or professional investigator.

If you suspect your spouse may be cheating on you then you are about to discover what they’ve been
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If you think a poor Work/Life balance may be causing your relationship to fail, take a look at these points and see if there is something you can do to improve the situation.
Consider Your Priorities – While doing well at work can be hugely rewarding, you have to ask yourself how important that success to you is. Jobs don’t last forever but marriages are supposed to. If you feel you aren’t being appropriately rewarded for both your time and effort in your job, it might be worth considering looking elsewhere. Many forward-thinking companies are beginning to realise that they can be much effective companies with well motivated happy staff as opposed to stressed employees. At the end of the day it’s a simple question which is more important to you, your job or your marriage?

Not the quantity of time, it’s the quality – Too often people think if they spend more of their time at home their relationship will instantly improve. While time certainly is important in the equation it doesn’t solve the problem in isolation. A few hours of quality time where you both have fun and enjoy yourself is worth much more than all the time in the world if you are stressed and thinking of other things. Try to do things with your free time, even if it’s just sitting in front of the telly watching a film you saw when you first got together. Give it your full attention, it will be really worthwhile.

Don’t be a perfectionist – You might have taken time off work to plan that perfect meal for your anniversary but you mucked the starter up. Don’t let it spoil the occasion. The less free time you have the more likely you are to want that time to be perfect. If you put too much pressure on yourself it is inevitable something will go wrong. Don’t be a perfectionist, enjoy the moment and time you spend together.

Get Help – for many couples the idea of approaching someone for professional relationship help is hugely daunting. It shouldn’t be. Just about every couple experiences difficulties in their relationship at one point or other. It’s normally those who don’t get an outside opinion that end up splitting up. Approaching a therapist is one of the most positive things you can do to try and avoid a divorce.

Plan Ahead – If you find you are increasingly busy, it’s important to plan ahead. This goes for work as well as your personal life. Think about when you are going to be busy at work and plan your diary accordingly. You are never going to be able to predict all your work commitments in advance but some forward planning can certainly help cut down on late nights at the office. It’s worth taking the same attitude with your personal life. While spontaneity is romantic that doesn’t mean a meal or date planned in advance can’t be. Knowing you are going to be spending some quality time together soon can make the difficult periods that little bit easier.

Understand Your Life Period – It’s inevitable certain times of your life are going to be busier than others. If you’ve just had kids of course you are going to have less time. Similarly if you have set up your own company you might be more stressed. Accepting this means you understand that while you may be busy that doesn’t mean your relationship should suffer.

Nobody wants their marriage to end in divorce; taking some positive relationship action can be the difference between a happy and contented couple and two unhappy divorcees.

Chris Norton writes for Armchair Advice. Armchair Advice is a UK website providing specialist job loss and relationship advice. Whether you require emotional support, financial advice, employment law or divorce solicitors, you can find them all at Armchair Advice.

For more information please visit Armchair Advice.