Want to do something about lowering child support or gaining
custody of your kids\’ or, maybe improving visitation rights?

Well, we\’ve all thought about it from time to time, but often don\’t
take action because we as men are much more the procrastinators than
our women counterparts. We also think that the costs are prohibitive
and that we\’re screwed in family court anyway, so what\’s the use?

These are pretty much the same thoughts that go through every father
mind every time their hand shakes writing that child support check, or
argue with the X about visitation.

So what do you do? Out of total frustration most consult with
attorney\’s or seek advice from well-meaning friends. But you don\’t
need sympathy and high legal costs. You need a mentor, a person that\’s
been there and can relate to your situation. Someone who can guide
you, step by step, through the legal maze.

After many unsuccessful attempts, most guys come to the conclusion
that if anything\’s going to get done that they\’d have to do themselves
and get personally involved. After all, who knows more about your
situation than you do?

If you don\’t know what to do, get some good information by finding out
what other Fathers have done in similar situations. Then, mimic what
they have done successfully…This is called the “mirroring principle.”

Follow success to a “T”. Use all guidelines that you can and keep
trying to work in more options. Have a trusted friend look over your
work and ask for objective opinions. This is the true method for
knowing that you\’ve got a killer case - that\’s worked before and will
gain you more rights.

Dennis Gac is widely known as “The World\’s #1 Fathers Rights
Consultant!” But what do you care? Well, if you rush over to my
site… I think you\’ll come to your own conclusion that I\’m the real
deal, and you see how much FREE (yet extremely valuable!) Fathers
Rights Winning information I\’m giving away. Check it out now at:

http://www.fathershelphotline.com

Dennis Gac

National Brotherhoodf of Fathers Rights

Divorce makes people angry. There’s no getting around it. The problem lies in holding onto that anger like a security blanket. How many of us know a bitter divorcee? You know what I’m talking about. You can’t mention their ex-spouse’s name without hearing a rant. They bring up their ex-spouse in every conversation just to have another opportunity to lash out at them. Got the picture? Of course you do.

Today, let’s focus on 3 reasons why holding onto that anger is not a good choice for you or your children.

1. It imprisons you in the past - This is anger about a relationship that is not in your future, it is ONLY in your past. You may be co-parenting with your ex-spouse and have a connection to them in that way, but no longer are you romantically linked with them.

Holding onto the anger keeps you focused on what could or should have been. With the demise of any marriage, there are broken dreams.

It also keeps you focused on only the bad things that happened in the relationship. When we are this angry, things that fuel that anger are all we focus on. It’s as if we have glasses on with a lens that filters out any happy times in order to continue feeding that anger.

2. It doesn’t allow you to move forward - You aren’t able to focus on the possibilities that lie ahead of you. All you can see are aspects of that past relationship.

It also causes you to hold onto the pain from that broken relationship. That pain becomes extra baggage that you carry around with you wherever you go. Think about it, would you be interested in going on a date with someone who spends the evening complaining about their ex-spouse?

3. Ultimately holding onto that anger hurts your children – Your children love both of you very much. That aspect has not changed for them just because the two of you are no longer married.

Children are very adept at knowing when their parents are fighting whether it’s done right in front of them or not. When these two people that they love, are at odds, it becomes very confusing for kids. They can’t make sense of how this is possible. This confusion typically creates a lot of anxiety for children. In response to that anxiety, frequently they take on the responsibility of maintaining the peace rather than just being children.

Is it wrong to be angry? No! Anger is an emotion felt without our control. The way we react to the emotion such as blowing up, or choosing to fester in it is completely in our control! You have a choice to make. No, this is not an easy process and it doesn’t just happen overnight.

If you’re interested in learning how to get a handle on your anger and move forward rather than be stuck, I’d like to invite you to learn more about our Special Report, “I’m Just So Mad! Dealing with the Anger of Divorce.” It can be found at http://www.RemarriageSuccess.com/somad.htm

For more information on how to prepare yourself and your children for a new future, please visit us at http://www.RemarriageSuccess.com

Thousands of people have gone through divorce, so you are not the only one. Divorce is not the end of your life, it is just the end of a marriage. You have other things that you need to focus on, rather than you marriage. If you have children for example, this is a great time to start focusing on them more.

Many people will find that it is hard to let go of their feelings during a divorce. They become angry and feel like they will lose control at any moment. Don’t forget that there are thousands of people who feel this way. What you need to do is to seek therapy to help you control your temper and feelings of rage. This way you’ll learn how to get along with your ex partner for the sake of the children.

After divorce, you may find that your self-esteem is completely gone. The most important step for rebuilding your esteem after divorce is to let go. You must place the past in the past and start to think about how you can improve the way you feel about yourself.

Never beat yourself down. It is not your fault, it’s not anyone’s fault, perhaps you just had a bad relationship. Don’t think about the past – think about the future. Learn to use positive words to describe your personality (like smart, attractive, aspirational, etc). You image of yourself will effect your life very much. Sometimes it’s better to be on your own and follow your own path, rather than following someone else. Your self-esteem will rise because you are an independent person.

One the most important lessons that you will learn from divorce is you are much stronger than you think. Going though all that you have, you will become a stronger individual. Now, you will be able to handle situations that you usually wouldn’t think you could handle. Divorce definitely makes you stronger.

Read more about infidelity, getting an ex partner back and saving a marriage at http://www.RelationshipTrouble.info

Yes you can be happy, not sad, not despondent, not lethargic, not depressed, not desperate, but truly happy after divorce. Read on.

It was fourteen years ago my wife gave me the marching orders. She told me to pack my bags and leave and within a day I had gone and I cried for a number of years. A very wise minister told me to stay single for a couple of years and now I am happy to be single the rest of my life.

But if you are in the midst of a divorce and it can’t be stopped be sure as long as the sun comes and sets 12 hours later, so you might be in the throws of a divorce now, but there will come a time when you are happy.

The day of my divorce was a hard day for me, I lost all hope for living and I mention that day in my other articles, but now with 180 articles online and one book published life is going quite well for me and I am happy.

I have my struggles, I am overweight and starting to feel it in walking and I am mentally ill and I have been suffering depression lately in the last six months, but I am coping. But inside I am overjoyed as I work on my second book and another project and I write a few articles every week.

One of the things you need to find is purpose. You have to find who you are outside of your partner. Are you just an ex wife or a mother of a couple of children? What are you good at? It’s time to stretch your wings and take some time to find yourself. Therapy can be good.

Every week over 1000 people read my articles. Do you know how happy that makes me as a writer? That’s like preaching to a medium church each week. I am overjoyed but I am 14 years up the track and I have found my purpose and have been getting trained in it for a few years.

Don’t celebrate the fact that you are free of your partner. So he or she could have been bad for you, rather take the time to find what your made of and invest in some good things for you and yours. Spend time on yourself, spend some money on yourself and have a good cry if you must.

And above all seek God where He is in the Bible and a faithful church. Use this opportunity to foster a relationship with your Father in heaven.

Let me pray for you

Father

This is a hard time for this person. I pray that they make the right decisions and you help them to forgive and act wisely through this divorce process. I pray that they will gather the right information that they need at this time. I pray for them that one day they can smile again and be happy. In Jesus name I ask.

Amen

Matthew is one of two people that operate a site at http://www.escapeministries.net Escape ministries is a place where people can be ministered to over the internet, by reading articles, watching videos and receiving personal prophetic words. James and Matthew invite you to visit today to look at some of the articles they have collected and watch some of the video teachings they are setting about to produce for you. You are encouraged to sign up for our monthly newsletter or simply email James or Matthew with any of your comments. We hope that you might bookmark it and come back to visit often as we pursue our mission statement that is found on our home page.

You can visit and view their video’s live at youtube by going direct to http://www.youtube.com/EscapeMinistries

Getting back in the dating world after a divorce can be difficult and downright scary. Unfortunately, divorce can leave you emotionally scarred and feeling less than desirable to the opposite sex. It is important to take a step back and evaluate what you want and what you are ready before jumping into the dating scene once again.

You don’t have to rush back into a serious relationship. Enjoy dating and just getting out there to meet new people. You need to take the time to discover who you are now and what you really want in a relationship. Getting too serious too fast after a divorce can lead into some major problems. Date many different types of women before you settle down again.

Your self esteem has probably taken a big hit, so it is best to take some “me” time to work on yourself physically and emotionally. It is an excellent time to join a gym or take up a new sport or hobby. Until you face the emotional baggage you have from your past relationship, you cannot have a healthy relationship. Take the time to figure out your past mistakes to make sure you do not repeat them with your future relationships. If you need professional help to get over emotional issues, seek it out before you move forward with someone else. You will be a better partner and you will feel better yourself.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable or you won’t be able to give 100% to your next relationship. Love can hurt, but you can’t let it make you bitter inside or you will miss out on so much in life. Just because you have been hurt in the past doesn’t mean the next relationship you have will end in the same way. Most importantly, don’t make your future relationships suffer for your past. It is not fair to assume all women are the same.

If you are ready for a new beginning, then online dating is a great way to get started after a divorce because you don’t have to find a single social circle. If you have been out of the game for several years, you can’t possibly know what to expect. Online dating makes it easy to meet single people of any age.

Chet Rowland is the author of several courses and dvds on online dating for men. For more information and a free course on meeting women visit http://www.chetsdatingsystem.com

Dating after divorce is a natural process for you. It may take awhile to get there, but most of us eventually would like to be in another relationship. Your dating is NOT natural to your kids. For teenagers, thinking about their parents having a boyfriend or girlfriend will probably elicit something like “Ooh, gross!” And for younger children, it just seems wrong that their mommy and daddy are with someone other than their mommy or daddy!

So, what do you do with these conflicting emotions from everyone? Let’s take a look today at some steps you can take to make this transition a little easier for your kids.

1. Be open – Let your children know that you feel like you’re ready to date. Explain to them what that may mean exactly for them. Don’t hide the fact from them. You aren’t seeking their approval, but you’re letting them know so they don’t become afraid about what all of this means.

This is an excellent opportunity for you to talk to them about what dating is and isn’t. You can share your values with them about relationships.

2. Reinforce how important the kids are to you – One of the reasons that kids get leery when their parents are ready to date again is fears that this will mean some type of abandonment. Their family has already been split apart and they are seeing less of each parent now than they used to. What will this dating thing mean to the time they get to spend with you?

It’s also not uncommon for children, especially the oldest, to try to take on a caretaker role for their single parents. They may fear they’ve not done a good enough job or will be replaced. Let your children know that you love them very much, but you require adult friendships as well as the relationship you have with them. This is not a taking away from them, but an adding to your life so that you may ultimately be a better parent because your life is more well rounded.

3. Be prepared for anger and resentment – This is yet another change in their ever changing lives. As I’ve said numerous times before in other articles, kids don’t like change! Honestly, does anyone? They may complain. They may ask a lot of questions or they may just sulk. You know your children and should be able to read their emotions. Deal with them head on. Don’t ignore them. Again, I’m not saying you shouldn’t date if your kids are unhappy. What I am telling you is that you need to address the issue with the kids, not ignore it and just assume they’ll get over it.

Another reason they may be upset is that with your dating, they need to accept that the dream they may have been holding onto, about you and their other parent reconciling, just isn’t going to happen.

This whole single parenting thing is tough. The only constant in it is change. Each time a new change occurs, it takes everyone time to figure out how it’s going to affect their lives and how to deal with it. Your dating is just another one of those changes. While it may be tempting to just not mess with the hassle of it all, remember that a happy and content parent is better able to parent than one who is frustrated and sacrifices their happiness for their children.

Preparing your kids for the beginning of your dating is the first step. What do you do once you’ve found that special someone? Helping divorced parents maneuver that minefield is one of the goals at Remarriage Success. I invite you to visit our website at http://www.RemarriageSuccess.com . We offer numerous other articles to help you through the many transitions from divorced through the creation of your step family. These articles can be accessed at http://www.RemarriageSuccess.com/articlesubscribe.htm . Perhaps you’re farther along in the process, and you’re already thinking about a remarriage wedding date. Well, if that’s the case don’t waste any time! Check out our 2 book set, “THE 7 Questions to Ask Before Saying “I Do” Again today at http://www.RemarriageSuccess.com/7questions.htm.

For whatever reason your previous marriage didn’t work out and naturally you’ve got mixed feelings about forming new relationships after divorce. You’re frightened of choosing the wrong person and making the same mistakes. You feel like you can’t afford emotionally, mentally and financially to go through all that pain again. And yet still… your heart knows that there’s love out there for you and that you have a lot of love to give too. Somewhere inside you still believe it’s possible to create blissful relationships even after a divorce. Listen to that wisdom. Hang on to that hope. Because it’s true. You don’t have to repeat the same patterns of emotional problems or communication problems in relationships. You can learn new relationship skills that will enable you to form a great romantic partnership that grows from strength to strength. Here are 3 love tips to help you on your way to fabulous, fulfilling new relationships after a divorce….

1. Make sure you’ve really learned your lessons
It’s frightening how many of us repeat the same mistakes over and over. It’s like we carry some kind of internal ‘relationships’ template and we try and apply that same pattern of behaviour every time we are in an intimate relationship. When forming fresh relationships after divorce, throw out the inner template. Clearly it didn’t work for you last time. Why repeat the same things? Come at your new relationships with nothing but a desire to discover new ways of being together in love. Understand that a relationship is a journey of discovery. It’s an adventure that you navigate through. You’ll experience storms, tempests, hurricanes, fog, and times when it seems like you are becalmed and nothing is happening in the relationship. Hold to your destination: love. Be true to your guiding light: love. And enjoy the journey.

2. Transform from powerless to powerful
Break the spell of the mundane and go within to really feel your feelings. Inside is where the magic of your life happens, not in the outer world. You’ve felt the pain of divorce and maybe you’ve deliberately numbed yourself to your feelings. That’s okay, it’s natural to protect yourself that way. Just realise that you fall in love and out of love in your head, in your thoughts and feelings about someone. As you can control your thoughts and manage your feelings, you have creative power over how your relationship feels to you. Right now, you could be in bliss if you wanted to. Or you could let your mindtalk create an experience of pain and self-pity. It all depends on what thoughts and feelings you choose to focus on. When building new love relationships after divorce it pays to take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings. Nobody else can make you feel bad or make you feel good without your participation. You’re the one who chooses how to process what you are experiencing. When you experiment with this you will rapidly come to realise that you are free to be happily single if you choose to be or to enjoy wonderful, warm, passionate, affectionate relationships. You are the point of power in any relationship. Therefore you have 100% ability to create a wonderful relationship.

3. Get a better understanding of energy and how it works
By learning about energy interactions you will improve your ability to navigate relationships after divorce. You will realise that when you get too clingy and attached to someone it actually starts to drive them away, so you will know to step back a bit and give them some more space. Give them too much space and not enough affection and the attraction between you will start to waiver. There’s a fine balance. And it’s an ever-changing dynamic. When you think you’ve cracked the code, the dynamic will change. Life’s like that. It’s designed to keep you on your toes — and keep you growing. Good relationships are alive and organic that way. Remember your romantic vision and your commitment to love as an idea and guiding principle, that way you will always find new, creative ways of building your love relationship. Like most things in life, wonderful marriages are earned through hard work, they don’t just happen. That’s the thing that we need to knock out of our silly little heads… this foolish idea that romance has to be spontaneous and that it will last forever. Even Romeo and Juliet would have gotten on each other’s nerves if they had been given enough time together! Develop a spacious sense of tolerance in your new relationship. Treat it like the ultimate self-improvement program. Each day challenges you to be creative and innovative in your romantic and loving gestures. If you take Love as a characteristic you want to build into your nature, and practice being more loving every day, especially with your mate, you will be well on your way to creating a blissful love life.

Get rid of your old templates and learn from those who know how to create blissful relationships, approach people afresh; exercise your creative power over the thoughts and feelings you focus upon; tap into your heart energy and strive to always improve yourself in your relationships. These are the simple steps that will help you create new, wonderful, love-filled relationships after divorce.

Want a ‘fairy tale’ relationship? They do exist! Don’t miss out! Discover the secrets to a blissful relationship at: http://www.blissfulrelationship.com your top tips resource for creating new relationships after divorce and building love-filled romantic partnerships that grow more joyful and fulfilling every day!

Copyright 2007 Anne Amore ~ May you be now and forever blessed with love. So it is.

Dating after divorce can be tricky. But introducing that special someone to your children is even harder. Let’s cover the 4 most important steps to take in that first meeting between your new partner and your children.

1. Don’t introduce them too early Be sure this is a committed relationship before you bring your date home. Having a revolving door of boyfriends or girlfriends is really hard on kids. Just when they start to get used to someone you’re on to another partner. This causes kids to become less likely to accept someone later on down the road when things really are serious because they’re tired of getting hurt.

2. Don’t do Disney World A lot of couples make the mistake of the first meeting being some grand affair. If you’re going to marry this person, the kids need to get to know them in a genuine way. They need to experience “real life” right from the get go. A meeting at a park or in your home with dinner and a movie rental are much more conducive to laying the foundation for what real life will be like.

3. Don’t have your partner bring their kids too This first meeting needs to be about your partner getting to know your kids. If their kids are there then things can get distracting. Your kids can easily avoid getting to know your partner by just hanging out with the other kids. Now, I don’t expect every minute of the first meeting to be spent focusing exclusively on your children but the door needs to be wide open for the opportunity for conversation and questions in order to get to know one another.

4. Don’t expect a lot from your kids other than their being respectful This is weird for kids. Thinking of their parents having a boyfriend or girlfriend just may not feel right. Remember that this meeting is the bringing together of strangers. Acknowledge that this is going to be awkward for everyone! Give the kids permission to express their discomfort. But, no matter how uncomfortable it may be, the expectation that they are to be respectful toward your partner like they would any other adult should be stated firmly.

First meetings are uncomfortable no matter who we are meeting or what the situation. This first meeting is especially charged because it’s vitally important to you that these two groups of people you love dearly come to like each other so you can begin to experience them together. Understand that this process takes time. Don’t force it and let it happen naturally.

This first meeting is just the beginning of a long process of building relationships between your children and your new partner. I encourage you to visit http://www.RemarriageSuccess.com for more tips and strategies for your step family’s preparation. You can join our free monthly e-zine at http://www.RemarriageSuccess.com/e-zine.htm to receive special articles and resources that will help you to learn how best to prepare for your remarriage. If you’re already preparing for that wedding date, be sure not to miss our best selling 2 book set, “THE 7 Questions to Ask Before Saying ‘I Do’ Again at http://www.RemarriageSuccess.com/7questions.htm. This set will walk you through other important aspects in building that relationship with your kids and discussing how to help all of you create a wonderful step family.

Divorced or not, your friends have mixed reviews about internet dating. One friend tells you that it’s wonderful; she met her new boyfriend on-line. Another friend relays horror stories! In any event, your divorce is final and you have decided to take the plunge.

Before you begin building a profile on an internet dating site though, you should be aware of some “rules of engagement”.

1. Personality is important. However, you may never have a chance to impress a man with your sparkling personality if you have not attracted him with your pretty picture. The fact is that internet dating is, at least initially, a superficial medium. You have to draw your target with an attractive, clear picture of yourself.

2. Your profile is your calling card. Take the time to make yourself sound interesting and really differentiate yourself from the herd.

3. Create a pseudo e-mail for “secondary contact”. In other words, when a man with whom you are corresponding on an internet-site asks for your e-mail address, provide to him a web-based e-mail, rather than your home or work e-mail address. If you decide that he is too strange-for-words, you can simply discontinue communications without interrupting your regular communications.

4. Do not release any personal information until and unless your internet date has proven trustworthy and safe. For the same reason, schedule your first meeting during the day-time, in a public location. Make sure you have an “escape plan” if the date is a disaster.

5. Anticipate that your date will look different, probably worse, in real-life versus his picture. Occasionally, you may have a pleasant surprise when a date actually looks similar or even better than their posted picture.

6. Be optimistic but realistic. There are women who successfully meet their boyfriend or husband on-line. However, enter the on-line dating scene with a conservative outlook.

7. Consider the necessary qualities of the person you seek, and stipulate accordingly in your profile. For example, if smoking is an absolute deal-breaker, indicate accordingly, in your profile. You could indicate that you want a man who “…leads a healthy lifestyle” or simply be blunt and state “no smokers need apply”.

8. Have a sense of humor. Always look on the bright side… your nightmare-date could prove an entertaining story at your next get-together with friends!

9. Watch your purse-strings. On-line dating can be expensive, depending upon which site you use, and what features you select. Paying on-line doesn’t seem like you’re spending real money. But you are spending money, and it can add up.

Above all else, keep your options open. Enjoy on-line dating after your divorce, as it’s a great way to widen the scope of the persons you can meet. Remember, however, that you might meet Mr. Right anywhere, at any time. Therefore, participate in on-line dating with your eyes open, but don’t turn off your sexy wit when you go for dinner with your parents at that fancy Italian restaurant…. You might hit it off with that charming waiter, who is working his way through medical school!

Terri Mann is the founder of WomanDivorceSupport.com, an inspirational Divorce Advice web site where divorced or separated women can find free Divorce Articles about Dating After Divorce and more.

If you are over 25 years of age, and undergoing a separation or divorce, you may feel the negative impact from being an “un-couple” in a world which embraces “couples only”. Before you were separated or divorced, a big night out for you and your husband may have consisted of dinner and a movie, with your married friends. Welcome to the “un-couple” world, where you are the “odd man out”, and perhaps unbalanced without your former partner and just plain lonely.

It seems that once you complete divorce post-secondary school, the world is geared towards couples only. You will never see a table set for one, at a restaurant. Even the rides at an exhibition park are intended for couples. Have you ever attended a movie theatre, alone? Chances are likely that the ticket person asked you twice, “for one only?”, because he was so shocked that a single person might actually enjoy watching a movie… alone.

So, how do you do it? After a divorce, how do you deal with being an “un-couple” in a “couple’s world”?

1. If you feel comfortable attending a sit-down dinner where you are the only un-couple, then you should attend these dinners. However, if you are not comfortable with this, consider asking the host to invite another single person, or single-parent family to the function. If you have a child, this may make your child feel more comfortable, as well. The other alternative is to refrain from attending these dinner parties, at least for a period of time, until you no longer sharply feel the absence of a former partner.

2. If you want to eat out, and you are shy about requesting a table for one, consider eating at a small restaurant which will be happy to make accommodations for your dining pleasure. Bring your entertainment with you, for example, a newspaper.

3. Invite your married friends to go out with you, without their respective “others”. It’s healthy for your married friends to spend some “girl time” together with you, anyhow.

4. If you have few or no single or divorced friends, start connecting! It may take time to establish new friendships, but start the process. Join a divorce support group where you can meet other women that will also want to “get out”. You could also sign up for a special interest class or activity.

5. After your divorce, if you are living in a home with sufficient or excess space, consider accepting a border. You may apply for a foreign student to live with you- the student is not your “instant friend”; however, it can be an incredibly culturally enriching experience for both yourself and children, you will have another warm body in the house, who may wish to participate in “family dinners” at friends’ homes.

6. Take up some hobbies that you can practice by yourself. One example of a hobby that you can do, by yourself, is scrap booking. The practice of scrap booking may motivate you to take more pictures of yourself and loved ones and of course you will then have to take the initiative to create new memories that you will have to then scrap book. Also, there are many social scrap booking clubs, so if you want to meet other divorced women that share your passion, you will be able to do so.

Above all else when you’re divorced, don’t settle for less than you deserve, simply because you no longer want to be an “un-couple”. If you are positive in your belief system, you can start having fun at this transition in your life! Eventually, when you feel ready and you meet the person that is right for you, you will again be a couple.

Terri Mann is a divorced lawyer and is the founder of http://www.womandivorcesupport.com where divorced or separated women can find free divorce articles about dating after divorce and more.