Patricia runs a small graphic design company. She employs several designers, illustrators and copy writers. Her office is a beehive of creative activity and often deadlines can mean a hectic atmosphere.

This is a typical right-brain office and when you have so many creative employees, there can be friction between team members. Her employees are highly talented. Sometimes these creative people lose track of time and deadlines. Pat, on the other hand, has a business to run and cannot afford to be late with the end product. Her clients wouldn’t stand for that.

But I am surprised she never loses her temper with either her employees or clients both of whom can try her patience. I asked her once what her secret was. Pat seems unfazed by all this but I know she must secretly froth at the mouth. Here’s what she told me.

“Marilyn, it is hard to be the boss of creatively charged twenty somethings and if I don’t manage it well, I would be close to losing my temper every hour of every day. I find it better to hold my tongue than let go of a valuable employee. I have spent hours training them, refining their skills, and that is too much of an investment to lose. I wait till my anger has passed and then speak calmly to them. Most of the time I am able to get the point across and avert a crisis.” Patricia said.

I employ the same strategy myself. Our conversation re-affirmed my belief in not making a decision or delivering criticism when angry. Anger can spoil a good thing – it is a moment of weakness for a business owner and repeated bursts of anger with employees can destroy a good team.

Sometimes your clients or employees will make you angry. The trick is in not dealing with them right away. Take some time to compose yourself, rehearse your case, and then present it to the other party in a calm voice. Invariably, you will come out the winner.

A good strategy is to let the phone call go to voice mail if you think the caller will be telling you bad news or you have just handled a stressful situation and are still upset. Always invest in caller ID!

If you are talking to an employee or client and the conversation is going badly, take a break and think about the situation. Hardly any problem cannot wait a few hours for a solution. Always leave yourself time to think. It is better to be seen as “not decisive” than make a decision you will regret.

Use this strategy when you anticipate bad news or even when you have to deliver a bad news. It is better to wait and think about a problem with clarity in your mind before responding. You can never take your words back or undo an action taken in anger.

Marilyn Sweet has started eight businesses over the last 25 years, spent less than $5,000 each time and earning up to a six figure income. The low investment, low risk “5k Biz” model has been developed for the average person. She retired at 51 because of the success of her 5K businesses. Her website is http://www.5kbiz.com and she teaches small business startup classes at colleges in Colorado.“A Fearless Guide to Starting a Profitable 5K Business” is available at Amazon.com.

Catching Lightning Bugs in a jar on a late summer evening at dusk! The earthy smell of the country during a late evening drive! The first kiss with that special someone you just knew was THE one! The first time you held that new-born baby! Memories…they can make us sigh. They can make us laugh. They can make us cry. We cherish those memories and we hold them dear.

BUT, what about those memories that aren’t so happy? Far too many people have memories they would like to forget. Let me tell you a story to illustrate my point…

Once there were two brothers and they grew up together in a family that was very harsh and critical. They were physically abused and slaps in the face were a common occurrence. Their father was an adulterer and an alcoholic. Their mother was an emotional wreck and she was a very angry person. She would, sometimes, pull a large knife out of a drawer and she would threaten to kill one of them if they didn’t stop acting up.

These boys grew up being told how sorry they were and how they would never amount to anything. If they cried for any reason, they would get backhanded across the face and told they were sissies. Any sign of a tear was ridiculed and made-fun-of! They were not allowed to cry.

When they were punished, it would be with a belt, or razor strap, and they would be beaten until they had bloody stripes across their backs and legs. When they went to school, their parents wrote them excuses to get them out of P.E. so no one would see the evidence of their abuse.

The fights between their mother and father were quite terrible. They would hide in the hall closet and listen to the raging and cursing coming from the violent fights. Both parents had violent tempers and they would explode without any reason.You see, we can’t choose the kind of environment in which we are raised. We can’t choose the kind of parents we have. We can’t avoid a lot of the things which happen to us in life. BUT, we CAN choose how we react to those things!

You DO NOT have to be an angry person! You DO NOT have to be so critical of everything! You DO NOT have to hold a grudge against anyone! You DO NOT have to be a bad parent! You DO NOT have to be a bad spouse! If you are any of those things, YOU have chosen to do that! But, you can choose not to do those things any longer! Let me give you five things to help you overcome stumbling blocks that have crippled you emotionally in your life…

1. Learn Forgiveness! You are not responsible for the things that have been done to you but you ARE responsible for how you choose to react to those things. Learn to forgive those who have wronged you. An unforgiving heart only hurts you, not the one who wronged you. Most of the time, they don’t even KNOW you are mad and angry. You will, truly, be surprised how good life can be after you set that grudge down and never pick it up again!

2. Learn to Like Yourself! People who experience unwholesome things in their life always suffer from low self-esteem. Somehow, it is THEIR fault. Somehow, THEY were the cause of it! They believe all the cruel things that were said about them. Learning to overcome low self-esteem is a whole book in itself and we will get to writing more about it some time, but for now, just remember, you ARE NOT who other people say you are. You are who YOU choose to be and you should choose to be the person who always takes the higher road. You ARE a good person!

3. Learn to Speak Only the Truth! “Man, am I stupid!” “I’ll never be a success!” “I’ll never be as pretty as her!” Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! That is low self-esteem talking and you need to stop that right now! We bring into action those things which we speak out loud so you should only say positive things. Did you know your mind believes what it is told over and over again? That is where your low self-esteem comes from. You were told things over and over until you started believing them. Well, you can make HUGE changes in your life by what you tell yourself now! Pay attention to what you say and make changes where necessary. This will make a huge difference in your life.

4. Learn to Stop Being Critical! YOU don’t like having low self-esteem so why are you giving it to your kids, spouse or anyone else? Think of the impact you are having on other people’s lives. Words are a VERY powerful thing so you should use them wisely. Just like everything else, what you say to people is a choice YOU make. Choose to be uplifting. Choose to be complimentary. Choose to speak words of caring and love. Remember what I said about bringing into action those things which we speak out loud? It is VERY important that you choose your words carefully. Get into the habit of thinking about what you are going to say instead of just blurting out something reactively.

5. Learn to Walk a Mile in Someone Else’s Shoes! Now stop that! You know it’s just an expression! Seriously, try to see things from the other person’s perspective. You will be well on your way to enjoying life when you can look at things from another person’s point-of-view. You will find yourself becoming less angry. You will find yourself becoming less judgmental. You will find yourself viewing life with a freshness you have never known before. Actually, you will find yourself!

You see, it’s not the environment we are raised in that determines who we are. It’s not what our parents are like that determines who we are. It’s certainly not what people say about us that determines who we are! We are who we CHOOSE to be. Some people live their whole lives blaming their present on their past. What a sad and wasted life that must be! Instead of blaming your parents, forgive them! Instead of blaming your poverty, learn from it! Instead of blaming your physical disabilities, overcome them!Oh, I almost forgot about those two boys in the story. Whatever happened to them you ask? One of them went to college, got his doctorate degree and he is now a Chaplain at Baylor Medical Center in Dallas, Texas. The other one just wrote this article!

Life is meant to be good and you get one chance at doing it right! This is not a play where you get to replay a part in a movie. When the Director yells CUT, it’s all over. There are no retakes or reshoots! Do you want to learn to live life like it was meant to be lived? If so, you can subscribe to our free newsletter called Front Porch Attitude Newsletter at http://www.front-porch-attitude.com

Does Road Rage interfere with your love of driving? Can you enjoy being on the road when the threat of road rage lurks in the next lane? Can you take pleasure in driving when the road rager may, at any moment, be YOU?

Driving is not something that occurs like a sudden sneeze. It is an intended act, and it can no longer be taken for granted. A driver must prepare in advance by following some smart ideas, otherwise his lack of preparation can lead to danger or death.

1. Understand your relationship with your car. Do you know where it begins and ends, or is the car your territory which spills over its sides so that you could become enraged if someone got too close or tailgated you or stopped too suddenly in front of you? Your ego may have stretched too far. Choose to see that you bought a car, not everybody’s highway location. Feel yourself edged and protected by your vehicle, not stretched out all over your lane. The fear that leads to anger and on to rage can be nipped right in the bud by identifying your interpretation of your territory and restricting it to the edges of your car.
2. Treat your car as your best friend. Keep all working systems in excellent condition. Be sure the wipers leave no smears and that your tires are properly inflated so as to give good traction and no swerving during storms. By staying in your own lane, having excellent brakes, good brake lights and working turn signals, you can make other drivers comfortable and prevent road rage.
3. Plan your driving: familiarize yourself with directions, road conditions, and any congested areas you will want to avoid. Knowing where you are going and how easily you will get there takes away a lot of driving stress and fear.If you can find an alternate route, keep it in mind in case there’s a lot of road construction or an accident blocking the way. Be alert to locations where you can use a rest room or get gas.
4. Keep a ready supply of water in the car (dehydration is pandemic and a dried out brain is already in stress). The season will determine how you store it, but do drink the water as you travel. To prevent low sugar energy drops, carry and snack on a small supply of packaged food (crackers & cheese, etc.). They’re good for you, and these resources will cut down on the aggravation children often experience when buckled in.
5. Evaluate yourself. What is it that really presses your button? Is it that cell phone addict? Or the person who won’t let you go in front of him when there is an obstacle in the road. Or the person who dwaddles at the green light? You know why you get angry, but now you know that a sip of water might help you to be more forgiving.
6. Understand driving. It is not a completely left brain, conscious behavior. It was only that way when you were learning to drive and when you took your driver’s test. After that, it became a habit. It is a sort of hypnotic experience, a relaxed and easy ride. While that makes it easy to drive, it does set you up to be startled by aberrant behavior–like someone appearing out of nowhere and flashing by you.The car is gone in a heartbeat, but your heart is beating too fast. A complete deep breath and a smile wipes out the fear and brings back driving pleasure.
7. This may be number seven, but it is first and foremost a way to prevent the anger and annoyance from ever happening. If you know that the traffic streaming up and down in front of your office irriates you at the end of the day, tap your temple before you start the ignition. If waiting for a freight train makes you go bananas, tap your temple a block ahead of time. This meridian tapping affects your emotions and turns down the angry ones. Nothing could be simpler.

Your driving life can take on monumental pleasure when you use smart ideas. And because what works for one may not work for another, there are many ideas and suggestions waiting for you at http://TametheRage.com and at
http://thearticleguy.com/roadrage.htm

Share them with your family and friends; keep them free from road rage.

My thoughts are with you,

Lillian Swanson

My patience has been tested in the last few days.  I’m generally a pretty even-keel person (at least I think so… my friends and family may beg to differ?).  In any event, dealing with annoying situations isn’t my specialty.  Lately though, I’ve made a conscious decision to rise above my frustrated feelings.  I’ve decided that, even though life may throw a few challenges my way, I have it within myself to deal with these situations in a mature and positive way.

Okay, I haven’t been able to maintain this mature and positive attitude at ALL times (in fact, I’ve found that I’m just a normal human more often than not).  But I have had moments where I’ve been able to pull myself out of the vicious downward spiral by trying the following tactics:

1. Vent to someone I trust.  Yes, I know this sounds like I’m doing anything BUT getting over my frustration.  But hear me out.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t just “let it go” when I’m really upset about something.  I need to get rid of that negative energy somehow.  Otherwise it just builds up and I end up overreacting to something really small later on.  I suppose exercising or screaming into a pillow would accomplish the same thing, but I prefer to verbalize my frustration to someone who will be supportive and just let me talk.  If a person isn’t available, I’ve found that my journal can provide this same type of support.  The key to this step, though, is that the venting period has an ending.  There’s no point in just venting non-stop.  A good rule of thumb is once you start repeating yourself, it’s time to start moving on.

2. Regaining control.  In a lot of cases, I’ve noticed that most of my frustration comes from feeling like I don’t have control of the situation.  Someone’s “wronged” me.  Or I can’t obtain what I need to overcome whatever challenge I’m facing.  But my frustration usually vanishes the second I figure out how to regain even a little control of the situation.  This may be as simple as accepting the situation as it is (i.e., cutting my losses).  Or it may mean collaborating with someone else who can provide what I need.  Either way, focusing on what I CAN control, and letting go of what I CAN’T control usually helps lessen the frustration.

3. Figuring out my options.  Once I’ve calmed down a little, then I’m able to start thinking about ways to resolve the actual problem.  I’ve found that brainstorming is a helpful method for figuring out what my options are.  Sometimes I’ll enlist the help of a friend (or a Coach!) for this step, but other times just writing down a list of everything I can think of works just as well.  The more options I have for dealing with a negative situation, the less frustrated I feel, so I often just throw out any idea I can think of.  Once I have a complete list, then I’m able to evaluate all of my choices and choose the best one(s).

There are plenty of times in our life when we’re going to feel frustrated.  There’s just no way around it.  But figuring out how to use your frustration to come up with an even better plan can make it all worth it in the long run.

About the author: Sarah M. Schultz, MA, CPC is a certified
Personal Development Coach in Park City, UT. Sarah coaches
quarterlifers (adults in their 20s and 30s) who want to create
meaning and passion in their lives by building lasting committed
relationships, creating a fulfilling work/life balance, and
managing the stress of major life transitions. Receive your
free copy of her Special Report: “Five Steps to Creating a Life
You Love!” on her website at:
http://www.newheightslifecoaching.com.

Do you find yourself having to resort to shouting or anger to get your point across? Do you feel that others rub you up the wrong way and as a result you lose your temper and go ‘out or control’? Do you feel that sometimes you can go just a little too far? If so then you need to consider getting some help… and fast! In this hectic age that we live in, more and more people are finding it increasingly more difficult to manage their anger. This is due to many reasons; however there are some things that are the same for everyone. Increasingly over the last few years, hypnosis has become a well accepted way to get the help that you need for anger management.

Hello my name is Richard MacKenzie and I am an emotional Freedom Technique and Neuro-linguistic Programming practitioner as well as a Hypnotherapist. For years now I have been helping clients with issues around anger management. Hypnosis is a very successful resource to help control anger, so if you find yourself needing a little help in that area then you may just have found the right solution for you. So what is Hypnosis and how can it help you to control your anger?

Well first of all – Hypnosis has been around for many hundreds of years and in the 1950’s it was accepted by the medical professions as a very viable option to help deal with a great number of issues. Nowadays hypnosis is used for things such as stopping smoking, losing weight, gaining confidence and for anger management.

When we get angry it is because an area of our brain that we refer to as the sub-conscious mind, doesn’t know how to better resolve the situation that we are in. The more we lose our tempers the more the sub-conscious mind begins to see anger as a habit and before we know it, it has all gone out of control.

Hypnosis plays the sub-conscious mind at its own game and begins to re-program it to change its beliefs, thus changing this bad habit. There are some many other benefits to using hypnosis or self hypnosis for anger management; however none as more needed as its speed and efficiency in dealing with such a negative behaviour.

So if you want to give hypnosis a go then I would suggest that you start with a hypnosis download, recording or take a visit to your local hypnotherapist.

Learn more about Richard’s anger management technique and anger management in general at his website.

There is a part of the sea known as “the cushion of the sea.” It lies beneath the surface that is agitated by storms and churned by the wind. It is so deep that it is a part of the sea that is never stirred.

When the ocean floor in these deep places is dredged of the remains of plant or animal life, it reveals evidence of having remained completely undisturbed for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. Unaffected by all the turbulence that was above it.

The peace of God is an eternal calm like the “”cushion of the sea.”” It lies so deep in our hearts that no circumstance or difficulty can reach it. We can go within and access that place at any time, and in doing so in the midst of difficult circumstances, we draw those around us into the presence of our God whose everlasting arms are beneath all of our stormy seas in life.

Psalm 62:1 says, “”My soul finds rest in God alone.””

We don’t find it in eating or shopping. They don’t satisfy even for the moment we do them, because we know they are substitutes for what will truly satisfy, and guilt begins to creep in before we finish eating or arrive home with our packages.

Why are we so unsatisfied? Why does there seem to be gulf between us and the love of God? The words are written and spoken that God loves us, but we don’t seem to be able to feel it, to touch it, to know it so much that our lives are changed by it.

When we fall in love with somebody it turns our world upside down. We become somebody different and all of life seems wonderful. If we could grasp God’s love every day would be grand and magnificent, regardless of what it held.

Is it because we feel unworthy? If you are allowing those thoughts to continually be in your mind, you will not be able to see life with clear vision. You will not be able to see the love of God. You can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought. Thoughts are seeds and they have power to grow into an awful harvest of depression if you are planting bad thoughts.

God pardons you! Why won’t you let yourself off the hook? You’re not a bad girl! You’re not a bad boy! You were created by God and He calls you GOOD!

Consider Micah 7:18-19:

“”Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.”

God did that with Jesus. He gave His Son to die for us so we might receive forgiveness. Who are you not to forgive yourself when God forgives you? Do you think you are a better judge than God?

Release the past. Live for the future. Forgive yourself, forgive others! Don’t sacrifice your entire life for a few awful moments you endured. Dump those transgressions into the sea and take God’s peace!

It will take time to renew your mind, but you can do it with one “”healing moment” at a time. Refuse to listen to those thoughts. When they come, immediately think and visualize a big NO and think God loves me and I love Him, so I will not think badly of His creation. You can do it! Put in on a piece of paper and stick it in your pocket - put it on the mirror - on the kitchen counter, on the refrigerator when you go for something that will not satisfy. Wrap your credit card in it and read it before you make a purchase.

Don’t give up the best for what the world offers in place of it. Eating and shopping will not satisfy. God’s love will fill all of your emptiness.

Donna L. Watkins lives in Central Virginia with her wonderful husband enjoying birds, wildlife, gardening, forests, nature travel and her cat, Squeek. She has one grown-up son who inspires her life in many ways. Read more of Donna’s articles at TheHerbsPlace.com and subscribe to her free mailing, A Healing Moment. http://www.theherbsplace.com/ahm.html

Understand that any anger or frustration is a sign of pain; I am suffering, in torment. The reason or cause of anger is usually deep seated and may well be due to not receiving enough love when a vulnerable child. So the frustration grows during life.

The cause of anger can be due to regret over ones life: not having lived a satisfying life. You may have wasted time, missed great opportunities or been obstructed by circumstances and other people. The list can be almost endless. If you feel you have wasted all your life or even only some of it then that regret or even repentance manifests as anger. It’s a dissatisfaction or frustration with the self.

Anger is a learnt response that you use, probably self taught but also picked up by seeing parents using anger in order to make things happen. See young children and you may notice that they also can have so much anger. It means that they are getting influenced at an extremely young age. Some experts even conclude that the first influences or causes of anger are within the womb where the child is picking up the vibrations of anger from the mother and other people around. Of course it would not be just anger. If there is a very loving environment that the mother to be keeps her self in then the child is getting the benefit of that.

The influences of society are a major cause of anger. Adults and especially children are getting influenced by the peer group and family and friends. We are all learning off each other about how to respond to people and situations in life. As the general response is prone towards anger so it is much easier to learn to use anger than to use peace, calmness or tolerance.

Another important cause of anger is Media. From a very young age we are being ‘educated’ to believe that anger is a reasonable way to respond. It’s in the cartoons, comic books, films and tv series, newspapers and journals and so the list goes on

So with so many reasons as the cause of anger revealed so far plus many that have not been mentioned is it possible to manage anger and if so how? It is of course not only possible to manage anger but once we have decided that it has to be done it is actually not as difficult as we might imagine. Also we can learn how to manage the anger that is coming from other people that is often the cause of anger in the self.

For more great tips on anger management visit
http://anger-management-tips.improvefast.net, a cool anger management website that provides advice, resources and tips on dealing with anger. There’s also a section
on ‘anger management for kids’

There is no doubt that virtually everyone has to deal with anger. We have to deal with anger either of our own or of someone else. It is simply a daily reality. To effectively deal with anger which means to either reduce your own anger, reduce the effect on you from other people’s anger or to remain calm in difficult situations, you must have some very effective strategies and techniques. Those techniques also need to be ones that you can easily learn and adopt in practical daily life. The following techniques for dealing with anger are certainly effective but are not the whole list by any means.

Try and detach from your anger, seeing it as ‘over there’ rather than being right inside of you. If you are being anger then there is no room for controlling it. If you distance yourself from your own anger by seeing it as ‘over there’ you are in a position to know the anger for what it really is; that of an external influence. In order to use this technique effectively you will need to learn to place a space between the anger and your immediate normal reaction. There may not seem like there is a space but when you observe you will find that the space does exist. That space is your opportunity to detach from the feelings of anger and place it somewhere in front of you. If you do this the greater power of that anger has been immediately dissolved and the remaining force can be dealt with more easily. This particular technique to deal with anger may appear to be too simple to be true BUT try it and you’ll more than likely be pleasantly surprised.

Another technique to deal with anger is to speak calmly even though you feel angry inside so that you do not exacerbate whatever the situation is. By allowing the anger to come out in the form of angry words or bad behavior or even violence you fuel the fire that is going on inside plus the anger gains control over you. Once you are under the control of anger it is very difficult to regain that control. Speaking calmly even though you may not feel in the least bit calm probably seems very artificial and perhaps even fake. But it works! After several attempts at this you should notice a much greater control over the emotion of anger. When you gain control on any emotion there is automatically happiness as a result. Happiness and anger cannot co-exist!

For more great tips on anger management visit
http://anger-management-tips.improvefast.net, a cool anger management website that provides advice, resources and tips on dealing with anger. There’s also a section
on ‘anger management for kids’

Is all anger sin? No, but some of it is. Even God Himself has righteous anger against sin, injustice, rebellion and pettiness. Anger sometimes serves a useful purpose, so it isn’t necessarily always a sin. Obviously, we’re going to have adverse feelings, or God wouldn’t have needed to provide the fruit of self-control. Just being tempted to do something is not sin. It’s when you don’t resist the temptation, but do it anyway, that it becomes sin. God sometimes allows us to feel anger so we’ll recognize when we’re being mistreated. But even when we experience true injustices in our lives, we must not vent our anger in an improper way. We must guard against allowing anger to drag us into sin. Ephesians 4:26,27 tells us, When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down. Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him]. Refuse to give the devil any opportunity to get a foothold in your life through anger.

All anger, regardless of its cause, has the same effect on our lives. It upsets us, causing us to feel pressure. Keeping anger locked inside and pretending it doesn’t exist can even be dangerous to our health. Most of the time we’re only hurting ourselves, and the person who angered us isn’t even aware of it. So we must take responsibility for our anger and learn to deal with it. Process it and bring closure to it, and that will relieve the pressure. I have been through some rough times in my life, and for many years those experiences caused me to feel miserable. I was so mad about the abuse in my childhood that it was making me bitter and hateful. I was angry with everybody, but one day God confronted me and said, “Joyce, are you going to let that make you bitter or better?” That got my attention, and I eventually had to find a positive way to process my anger. That was a place of new beginnings for me.

When you face your anger and decide to deal with it God’s way, you can overcome it. The Holy Spirit gives us the power to be stable and walk in the fruit of the Spirit. We have the power to forgive those who do injustices in our lives and to love the unlovely.

After all, people can tell when something isn’t right. You may think you’re hiding your anger, but it’ll eventually find a way to come out—either in voice tone, body language or attitudes. Some people use the cold-shoulder mask. When someone makes them angry, they may say they’ve forgiven them, but they become cold, showing no warmth or emotion in dealing with that individual. These people live a lonely existence. Because they’re so afraid of being hurt, they avoid close, meaningful relationships. This is a classic example of “choosing your pain.” They’ll choose the pain of living an isolated, lonely life instead of working through the problem, determined to develop good friendships. Other people like to use the silent-treatment mask. They say they’re not angry with you, yet they refuse to talk to you, or they only communicate when it’s absolutely necessary, usually with a grunt or nod. When people avoid being with, touching, or doing things for the person they’re angry with, they’re hiding behind a mask, which isn’t the answer.

FACE THE TRUTH…AND CHOOSE YOUR PAIN

If you want the great and mighty things God has for you, you must get to the root of anger and deal with it. Get rid of the masks and face the things that happened in your life that made you the way you are today. Admit that you can’t change by yourself. Until the root is removed, it’ll continue to produce one bad fruit after another. Too often we spend our lives dealing with the bad fruit of our behavior, but we never dig deep enough to get to the root of the problem. Actually, when we’re faced with anger, we must choose our pain. Digging deep to take care of the bad root is painful, but it’s the only lasting way to take care of the problem. We can either suffer positively, doing what’s right or we can go with the devil’s plan. But remember, the same devil who tempts you to follow your human feelings will later condemn you for doing it. You must decide if you want the pain that will take you into a new realm of glory or to keep your same old pain and try to hide it while it’s rotting inside you.

Peter tells us to be well-balanced and temperate, withstanding the devil at his onset (see 1 Peter 5:8,9). When you begin to feel anger, it’s the perfect time to exercise the fruit of self-control. You may have a good reason to be angry, but don’t use it as an excuse to stay that way. Instead of denying or justifying it, ask God to help you deal with it in a positive way. Romans 12:21 gives good advice: Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good. When Satan attacks you, instead of getting mad, go bless someone. Responding in a positive way is the direct opposite of what the enemy wants you to do, defeating his plan to keep you upset. It doesn’t come naturally, and it isn’t always easy, but when we do what we can do, God will do what we can’t do. Do not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9).

If we hang on to anger, we’re just being foolish. We must turn the anger and the people who caused it over to God and let Him take care of it. …Vengeance is Mine, I will repay (requite), says the Lord (Romans 12:19). Trust God and He will take care of you and protect you. You can’t change your past, but when you give it to God, He’ll use it to bring you a better future