Recently, one of my clients told me that her thinking was often muddled. Clear thinking is crucial for carrying on a conversation, making decisions, and practically everything we do. Thinking can be clouded by a host of conditions including stress, dehydration, and poor nutrition. Now, studies reveal that rejection and criticism also have a significant influence on how well a person thinks.

In a series of experiments at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, participants were exposed to a series of situations that resulted in manufactured feelings of rejection. The participants were given before and after intelligence and analytical skill tests. The researchers were amazed to learn that the intelligence scores plummeted by 25 percent and the analytical reasoning skills declined 30 percent on average.

We are born with the fear of abandonment. As humans, one of the most powerful drives we have is to connect, and be accepted. When rejected, some people’s self-esteem tends to become unstable.

A person’s self-esteem is forged in the first seven or eight years of life. Low self-esteem is fostered in an atmosphere of conditional love. It robs an individual of the psychological defenses needed to ward off the slings and arrows of life. One of the most vital responsibilities of a parent is to cultivate a robust self-esteem in their children. It is unconditional love that nurtures healthy self-esteem. So equipped, an individual can brush aside the occasional rejection that is bound to occur.

During research at Montreal’s McGill University, social psychologists found that people under stress tend to pay more attention to frowning faces than smiling faces. Like the Law of Attraction suggests, whatever you focus on, you will attract more of. A person’s depressed mood filters out positive situations, causing more focus on social threats like rejections and criticisms. These in turn will feed muddled thinking. Negative emotions can inhibit cognition, memory, and generally fracture human wholeness.

Bestselling author and international speaker, Brian E. Walsh retired from a 30-year management career to further his earlier interest in NLP and hypnotherapy. He returned to formal study, and within four years had achieved his PhD.

Dr. Walsh regularly conducts workshops and teleclasses on enriched learning. He is a master practitioner of NLP, an acupuncture detoxification specialist, an EFT practitioner, and a clinical hypnotherapist.

His eZine, “Personal Enrichment Digest” has subscribers around the world. His most recent release is a 90-minute DVD of his presentation, “Enriched Learning”. He has also co-authored with John Gray and Jack Canfield in the self-help book, “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2.”

His website is http://www.WalshSeminars.com

At the most fundamental psychological level, there are, essentially, three kinds of people: Those that see the glass as half-empty, those that view the glass as half-full and those that will argue for hours as to whether it’s a glass at all!

Now ask yourself, which category do you fall into? Do you inflate and encourage - or are you more like a human vortex, a steady drain on emotional resources? Are you a courage-builder or a spirit-sucker? Do your colleagues view you as a burst of upbeat energy - or as a vitality-vampire, sucking the positive lifeblood out of your co-workers? Are you an ego-booster or an ego-buster?

When you truly begin to embrace the fact that your words and actions contribute to the overall energy and happiness in your life and the lives of your co-workers, you’ll make a radical decision to positively reframe your outlook, speech and actions. Now, let’s look at the seven top ego-busting behaviors - How we can help those who use these destructive communication patterns, and how we can change these behaviors in our own speech.

1.-Overwhelmingly Negative Speech - In order for an organization to flourish, and not flounder or experience flat growth, they need to pump up their positive speech. Quite often, these are people who suffer from the ball-and-chain syndrome - where every task (no matter how small) - is a crushing chore, an insurmountable burden.

–You: If most of your day-to-day dialogue is negative, pessimistic, sarcastic, hurtful, harmful, blame-ridden, guilt-inducing and filled with, “I can’ts augmented with extra doses of, “poor-poor-pitiful-me,” it may be time for you to make a healthy change to the positive. Try to strike a better balance by choosing positive, optimistic, reassuring, encouraging, morale-building, forward-thinking, “I can” words.

–Others: If you hear others engaged in negative dialogue, first acknowledge them by saying, “Gee, it sounds like you are really unhappy,” or “I can tell by what you are saying that you are frustrated.” Then ask them, “Share with me something that is going right.” You can also offer a comment such as, “Do you realize that when you complain/are negative about ________ that it really has a negative impact on my morale - and what I need from you is to hear you offer up some of the positive things that are going on around here.”

2.-”I Didn’t Do It!” - Truth be told, no one really cares about what you are unwilling to do or can’t do. They’re only interested in finding out what you have done, are willing to do, or can do. Experts agree that if every person involved in a task took a mere 10 percent responsibility in a project’s outcome (negative or positive), the work responsibility could be evenly distributed and shared.

Folks that play the “blame game” lose on all accounts: They fail to function as a team player and lose their co-workers’ respect. Playing the “blame game” is a career-killing move.

–You: If you are blaming another, and the task truly wasn’t your responsibility, then give the person who needs the task completed very specific and helpful information. Without this, you will seem lazy, uncooperative and a non-team player. If you continue playing the “blame game,” no one will approach you with any new tasks. Task assigning = trust.

–Others: If someone is blaming another, you can ask them: “What can you do and what are you willing to do in this situation?” In these situations, blaming-throwing can go on indefinitely, so oftentimes, eliciting some information is better than none.

3.-Grapevine Gossipers - If you think that you’ll have nothing to talk about if you omit all of the gossip in your everyday speech - You need to reassess your communications! Gossip is damaging, especially in a work environment. Just how far will employers go to stop gossip? Two years ago, municipal workers in Cascavel, Brazil, were banned from gossiping during working hours under a new law. Any public employee caught spreading rumors or gossip about their colleague ran the risk of being fired. The city claimed that civil servants have the right to work in a professional environment and said the new law promotes integrity.

In 2001, a nationwide study conducted by a UK group, Industrial Society, claimed that, on average, American men gossip more than women. The idea that gossip is largely a women’s thing is deeply ingrained; saying that men gossip more than women is like saying that men have more shoes than women!

How do you define gossip? The authors of the study described true gossip as meeting five essential criteria:

–The person being talking about is not present;

–The people having the conversation have an established relationship with the subject;

–The information has no direct impact on the lives of the people conducting the conversation;

–The conversation is generally negative in tone, and

–The conversation is morality-based in its implications.

The study concedes, however, that men and women gossip quite differently. While women gossip primarily to bond with one another, and men do it to bolster their self-esteem.

–You: If you’re the department’s “gossip grapevine,” try to cut your gossip by 10 percent. You’ll soon find that it’s easy to cut back on the time you spend “sharing news & views” about co-workers and managers. You want to feel included and embraced in your group, but what you’re really doing is serving as the “enabler” of negative relationships.

–Others: When someone tries to share gossip with you, ask them, “Why are you sharing this information with me? I would prefer not to talk about ____ without him/her being here.” Defend others in their absence, just as you’d wish for others to defend you. And remember, if a person gossips with you, they’ll gossip about you!

4.-”I’m Okay, But You’re Not Okay” - Perhaps the most difficult behavioral pattern to deal with, passive-aggressive behavior plays an insidious role in interpersonal communications. This “I’m okay, but you’re not okay” (but I’m not going to verbalize this, I’ll just subtly undermine you) conduct can prove frustrating.

–You: If you’re the culprit in passive-aggressive conduct, you need to more carefully identify your needs. Don’t expect positive responses from your negative innuendos and sarcastic “off-the-cuff” comments. Try to more articulately, concise and clearly state your needs.

–Others: Those that fall into passive-aggressive behavior tend to take negative jabs in their speech and then follow it up with comments like: “Gosh, I was just joking,” or, “Lighten up!” and “Can’t you take a joke?” remarks. In order to deal with this type of conduct, you can ask the person to repeat any necessary information, deadlines, agreements, etc., and (face-to-face) agree to specified terms. Whatever you do, don’t be sarcastic or attempt to “even the playing field” with similar negative comments, this will only serve to further “fuel the fire” in passive-aggressive individuals.

Controllers & Micro-Managers - This is, at its primal level, a form of controlling behavior.

–You: If you find yourself micro-managing your employees and co-workers, your core issue is trust. You don’t trust people. As a result, people will not trust you. Let people set their own deadlines - typically, they’ll set shorter deadlines than you would and, as a result, they’ll have a better attitude about their project and their own abilities.

–Others: When you find yourself working for a micro-manager, you need to start a positive communication campaign. Push a constant stream of communication out to your manager. Use phrases like: “This is where I am on this project, and unless I hear from you otherwise, I’ll move forward to [Step B].” Send out a copious flow of updates and information, allowing the person to (slowly but surely) develop trust in your working relationship.

5.-”Poor Me” Victim Mentality - This very damaging ego-busting behavior can spell “disaster” for a budding career.

–You: If you indulge yourself in “victim mentality,” realize that you can badly (sometimes irretrievably) damage your career. Using the “poor me” excuse in professional environs can make you seem ill equipped in handling undemanding situations, thereby allowing others to deem you completely incapable of managing more stressful and challenging ones. Realize that it serves no positive purpose to whine and moan, “The other department got all of the new computers… We never get any of the good stuff,” type of speech. It merely brands you as the department’s top grumbler, grouch and complainer.

–Others: If you work with a person who continually views the half-full glass as half-empty, you’ll need to assist them in moving their communications in a more positive direction.

6.-Cyclops Syndrome - Diagnosing “Cyclops Syndrome” is easy. People who have it, have one big “eye”- that is focused solely on themselves. This self-centered behavior stems from egocentric mentality - “It’s all about me . . .enough about you . . .now let’s talk about me!” I also call this “one-upmanship” communication or “OOPS,” syndrome - or Our Own Personal Story (OOPS) syndrome.

–You: If you find yourself using “I”-focused dialogue, it’s time to reassess your focus on others. If you find you don’t congratulate others on their victories, but rather use them as (yet another) opportunity to build yourself up: “Oh, I already got a raise” rather than, “Congratulations on your raise!” - stop your egocentric speech patterns.

–Others: People suffering from the “Cyclops Syndrome” don’t allow others a moment “in the spotlight.” Completely unaware of other’s needs, they always have a better story, a bigger win or a more impressive development than anyone else (or OOPS - Our Own Personal Story). Self-centered Cyclops-sighted folks will always shift and bring the focus back on themselves: “Oh, you think you’re having trouble on your ward, just wait until you hear mine,” and “If you think your child is doing well in school, mine is doing better…”

Susanne Gaddis, PhD, known as the Communications Doctor, is an acknowledged communications expert who has been speaking and teaching the art of effective and positive communication through workshops, seminars, and keynote presentations across the United States since 1989. Past clients include: NASA, Oracle, Schlumberger, and the American Nurses Association. For free articles written by Dr. Gaddis, or to purchase her book Communication Booster Shots: Prescriptions for Effective Communication visit http://www.CommunicationDoctor.com or call 919-933-3237.

I turned 50 this year (2000). I never thought much about my age before, but 50 has always sounded rather old to me. Now those of you who are in your 60’s and 70’s will just giggle and say, “young whippersnapper.”

When you have health problems that prevent you from doing what you want to do, you sometimes doubt that you can make a difference in life. People rather expect to slow down and do less when they get “older” but that doesn’t mean they are worth less.

I saw a plaque one time that said, “By the time you get to greener pastures, you can’t climb the fence.” No matter whether we age as we get older, or if we’ve “aged” rather young due to health problems, we really like to be able to do all that we want to do. Much of our opinion of ourselves might depend on our being able to do so.

Performance is a big deal in our culture and it’s hard to escape from it even with the greatest of efforts to simplify your life.

Performance is definitely overrated in our society. Your level of performance has nothing to do with your value as a person. Just because you can’t do some things that others may be able to do doesn’t mean that you can’t do other great things.

Scripture tells us that it’s not what you do that counts with God. It’s what you ARE. Life is a process of becoming more like Jesus. The God of creation is looking for a personal relationship with you, not a power-packed performance that wins the gold. He wants us to KNOW HIM and the power of His resurrection. He wants to be our very best friend without any expectations.

What a goal to look at … rather than the list that the world gives us.

Donna L. Watkins lives in Central Virginia with her wonderful husband enjoying birds, wildlife, gardening, forests, nature travel and her cat, Squeek. She has one grown-up son who inspires her life in many ways. Read more of Donna’s articles at TheHerbsPlace.com and subscribe to her free mailing, A Healing Moment. http://www.theherbsplace.com/ahm.html

If you look at most successful people, you’ll see that they all have one thing in common - self-confidence. Yes, some people are born with it but for most other people, it’s a learned skill.

Here are my top suggestions to increase your confidence:

1. Work on your body language. We’ve all been at places where someone quite ordinary strides into a room, makes eye contact and starts impressing the socks off everybody. Or where you think somebody’s at least 6 feet tall because of their bearing and the way they carry themselves and then later you realize they’re quite average.

Like it or not - first impressions do count. So stand tall and practise good posture. Imagine that you’re being pulled by a string going all the way from your toes to the top of your head. And whenever you enter a room, don’t walk in almost apologetically. Stride in, make eye contact and be the first to introduce yourself.

2. Get involved in a physical activity - walking, swimming, etc. Any physical exercise like walking, running, dancing, etc. will make you feel better about yourself. Firstly, exercising releases all those good hormones and then your body image will improve the fitter you get.

3. Wear clothes that fit you correctly. In the past, I’ve made the mistake of trying to disguise my body flaws by wearing baggy clothes. Have you?

The truth is that wearing ill-fitting clothes only serves to accentuate the very areas you’re trying to cover up. Those big, baggy T-shirts don’t do any favours for most women. In fact, they make you look even bigger.

Sometimes we squeeze ourselves into a pair of jeans (in the correct size) but they look terrible because of the cut. It is much better to buy a larger size and be comfortable. It’s the fit not the size that matters.

4. Be kind to yourself. Think about the things you tell yourself when you make a mistake. Would you say those same things to your friends? Probably not.

When we make mistakes, we are often very hard on ourselves. Yet we treat other people much, much better. Next time this happens, stop and start talking to yourself as you would talk to a friend.

5. Remind yourself often of your good qualities. Do you know what your best qualities are?

Are you kind and compassionate? Do you treat people fairly? Are you a friendly person? Do you like to help people?

Make a list of at least five good qualities and remind yourself of them daily, but especially when you’re having a bad day.

6. Don’t dwell on your past mistakes. Recognise that the mistake does not define who you are. You can fail an exam without being a failure. Your relationship might have gone off in the ditch but that does not mean you are a failure.

Keep things in perspective. It just means that you failed the exam or that the relationship failed.

7. Surround yourself with supportive people. The last thing you need when you feel down or less-than-fabulous is to be surrounded by naysayers and negative people telling you that “all men suck” or “it’s impossible to get that job you’re after”.

Choose carefully who you share your heart with and surround yourself with people who will encourage and motivate people. If you don’t have many of those in your life, then contact me and I will be your cheerleader!

8. Keep learning new skills Aside from keeping your mind sharp (and preventing Alzheimer’s), be a life-long learner. I’m not necessarily talking about formal education.

What’s stopping you from learning a new language, taking a dance class, learning some new computer skills, taking up blogging, etc.

Learning will improve your confidence by leaps and bounds.

9. Take the time to reach out to other people through community programmes, etc. If ever you feel down, there’s no better upper than helping other people. Volunteer your services at a children’s orphanage or an old aged home.

My challenge to you is this - next time you eat out at a restaurant, instead of sending half your meal back to the kitchen, get a doggie bag and give it to the beggar on the nearest corner. His appreciation will melt the hardest of hearts.

10. Learn to stand up for yourself Your soul dies a tiny little bit every time you keep quiet when you should speak up for yourself. Being a doormat is not attractive and will get you nowhere in the long run.

If haven’t had much practice before, start with small things. Insist on low-fat milk in your coffee. Return the milk that went sour before the due date. Write a letter of complain if you get bad customer service.

And only when you’re feeling more confident, then tackle bigger issues like speaking to your boss about overloading you with work or your friends about relationship issues.

Learn to say no. It’s not a swear word - I promise.

Marcia Francois is a personal life coach and professional organiser who teaches small business owners and other busy people how to have more time, less stress and a more organised and fulfilled life. Visit http://www.takechargesolutions.org for your free Organise your Life e-book and other helpful tips.

What is it that gives some people a vast reservoir of self confidence, and others such a crushing lack of it? It is almost like there is only a finite amount and when one person increases their self confidence then it drains it from someone else. Here I am going to show you that anyone can build their confidence and give you my 5 top tips to building rock solid self confidence:

Tip #1 - Make a list of your strong points or successes.
Yes I know you don’t want to do this part, nobody ever does! However if you write out every weekend a list of all your positive achievements in life, all your strengths and everything you have to be grateful about, then you are slowly increasing your self confidence. Forget about any negative events or any weaknesses, play a game with me and just pretend that they are not there while you write.

Tip #2 - Never openly put yourself down or say you are not capable of something.
This had a huge effect on me and my self confidence, and it is amazing just how often we do this, and what a detrimental effect it can have on your psyche. If you are talking to someone and you say something like, ‘I could never do that, I’m just not good with figures’ etc, then you are affirming negativity about yourself. You may see it as a passing remark, a gentle jibe at yourself or just a joke, but in reality you are letting your subconscious know that you don’t have confidence in yourself. Stop doing it, say instead, ‘I could do that if I brushed up on my grasp of figures’. You can do anything you put your mind to, now start your mind believing that! If you catch yourself saying anything negative then just stop and switch it round to saying something positive. You will soon start to notice that you say negative things a lot more than you would imagine.

Tip #3 - Set daily goals
Self confidence is built up in small positive steps. Each day set yourself a goal, in can be something easy or something hard, as long as you know you can achieve it. Write down that you are going to achieve this and go out and do it. When you finish the day write down that you achieved your goal and any comments about it you would like to make. If you fail to meet your goal then just move it to the next day and don’t comment on it. You will soon find that you enjoy the feeling of achieving something every day and your self confidence grows as you see that you can achieve you goals consistently, you start to believe in yourself.

Tip #4 - Model people
We all have people that we look up to, whether in work or out of work, well if they have the self confidence that you want then you can model them. The best way to do it is to speak to them to see if they have any tips for you, but I know that could be embarrassing, so start to model the way they walk, the way they stand, start to watch how they handle situations. When you come across a tricky situation try and think how the person you are modelling would handle it, you will be amazed at the boost in self confidence this ‘play acting’ can give you. It kind of absolves you of the responsibility of being confident for a time, and in the end you get so used to playing confident that you are!

Tip #5 - Visualise your success
Take the time out at the end of the day to visualise yourself successfully doing whatever it is you have to do the next day, run through it all in your head going to plan. Then when the time comes you have effectively done it all before, and done it perfectly, so you will lose some of the nerves and will be more confident. Each time you do this and pull it off the next day then your self confidence will slowly blossom!

Now I know some of these seem like hard work, and we all hate hard work, but please agree to try them out for 30 days, what is 30 days in the long run for the confidence that you desire? If they do not work for you then discard them, but they will and you will see an increase in your self confidence in a very short period of time. If you have any setbacks then just forget about them and continue on the upwards spiral towards the supremely confident new you!

Do you have the life of your dreams? Neither did I, take life by the horns and make it work for you for once! Learn the technique that will literally kick your mind into shape and have you catapulted onto the rails of happiness and success while everyone else stands by and looks on in amazement. ~Click here to see how and to get your FREE report~

THE INCREDIBLE, AWESOME YOU

Who decides how lovable we are or how valuable we are?

One answer would be our friends and family. Another answer would be ourselves. Unfortunately, some of us allow others to define us, and we tend to value other people’s opinions of us over our own.

In researching self-worth and self-esteem in women, I learned a very important fact. I learned that a woman’s spouse or boyfriend contributes to over 80% of what she thinks about herself. Her self-esteem is defined by how he relates to her and treats her. That places a woman’s significant other in an ultra powerful position.

I am inclined to believe that women are born with an innate need for a man’s love. Why else would I have remained in unsatisfying relationships time after time? I am also led to believe that just because a woman is born with such an innate need doesn’t mean she can’t change things around.

Who says someone else has to define our worth?

Why can’t we define our own self-worth? The answer is: We can! The key is for women to realize that they can, indeed, define their own self-worth without the approval of a man or anyone else.

Any woman, at any time, has the power today to decide for herself that she is beautiful, lovable and worthy of everything life has to offer and not because she says so or because I say so, but because it is so.

For those women interested in building their self-esteem and self-worth, I offer one major suggestion to get you started:

Avoid or limit contact with people who make you feel bad about who you are or who just make you feel bad (on a scale from 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, my self-esteem shot up from 5 to 12, off the chart, just by divorcing my husband).

Your assignment for this week is to make a list of everything you have accomplished in your life, everything you are good at and the one thing about you that makes you special. It can be your smile, your excellent cooking, or your great hair.

And finally, learn to sing yourself praises. Because I promise you, if you show the world how much you love and adore yourself (without coming off as conceited), they will follow suit. And, you can write that one down.

My accomplishments:

What I’m good at:

One thing that makes me special:

by Jessie Jamie Coleman

Jessie Jamie Coleman is an author, screenwriter, freelance writer and a self-esteem expert. She is the author of two self-discovery journals, “The Incredible, Awesome You” and “Where Will You Be in Two Years.” For more information, visit her website: http://www.autumngirlpress.com and http://www.jessiejamiecoleman.com

It is interesting how sometimes we remember random things that people have said to us in life. One of the memories I have is of me sitting on a bench in a public place with my grandmother. She was telling me how fun it was to just sit and watch people. “Short ones, tall ones, fat ones, skinny ones, black ones, white ones. Just watch.” For some reason those words have stayed with me and I think of them often.

Last year while spending time walking through the trees I began to reflect on the size of the trees. There are a variety of species. Some are tall, short, round, thin, old, young, alive and dying. Do they compare themselves to each other? We can learn so many lessons from nature if we will be still and just listen, observe and reflect. Why is it that humans find this need to compare ourselves to each other? Why can we not just simply be as the trees, plants and animals?

Our body is a vessel for ’something’ much greater. Can you love and honor your body regardless of the size, color, age or whatever? I enjoyed listening to Eve Ensler’s book The Good Body as she speaks with different women about their bodies. There is an African woman that Eve talks with about her ‘boody.’ I absolutely love the response that the African woman gives her. She was a very wise woman. If you don’t mind listening to some straight forward, hardcore language it is definitely worth a listen to by the way.

When we look at most magazines, advertisements, celebrities, television or society there is an image of ‘perfect’ that is set in our consciousness. Why do we keep supporting this? We are ALL beautiful in our own way. We are all unique and if we weren’t then we wouldn’t be our Self. The universe is a creative one. So, why on earth should we be cookie cutter people?

Diversity is beautiful. If labels must be used…short, tall, fat, skinny, African, Asian, Indian, European, young, old, poor, rich, dressed in style or not…love and honor your body. You can honor your body in many ways and only you know what is best. Simply allow yourself to be You. Things are always changing. Just as the seasons change so do we.

We can love and honor our body no matter where we are along the journey or who we are. Here are a few ways to get you started:

Spend some quiet and contemplative time in nature.

Look at the trees or plants and reflect.

Nourish your body with whole foods.

Not comparing yourself to others.

Being true to yourself and not worrying about what others think.

Dressing in your own way.

Grey hair is beautiful…go natural and allow your wisdom to shine.

Enjoy a long warm bath, candles and some herb tea.

Enjoy a massage or special treatment.

When standing in front of the mirror, without judgement recognize and speak to your body about all that is beautiful.

Adorn a certain part of your body that you have not honored with jewelry, body art, clothing or a special gift to show appreciation.

Change your beliefs.

Think for yourself.

Support companies that value diversity. Whether it be age, race, size or ?

Remove yourself from an abusive relationship.

Do something that you have always wanted to.

Be creative in ways that you nourish your body. When you are walking down the street, people watching or at work maybe you will look at the beauty that goes much deeper. By loving and honoring the body may you be an example and an encourager to others. Have gratitude for the body that travels through the journey of life.

May we reflect on the words that stay with us through the years ‘for some reason’ and give thanks as well. Love and honor your body whether it is a short one, tall one, fat one, skinny one, black one, white one…no matter what.

Lisa R. Marshall is the facilitator of Path to Nature…honoring life through whole health, natural living, herbal healing, sacred celebrations & journeys. She is also a mother & doula. Lisa is a facilitator to those who want to make changes in their lives. Please visit http://www.Pathtonature.org for further information or to contact the author.

Nothing is going right. I don’t even have enough money to pay attention. Me and my mate keep fighting and my kids are driving me crazy. My job is totally unfulfilling, I hate it.

Some days I don’t want to get out of bed. Lately, just checking out seems like a good option. I don’t know what to do or where to get help. My life is not going how I planned, it just plain sucks!

If you see a picture of yourself here or someone you know personally, then let’s talk.

In this current frame of mind you will probably resist my next statement. “It’s all in your head.” Yes it is, the bills, the bickering, the bouts of emptiness all start in your head, then work their way into your life. You don’t have to believe this right now. Come back to this statement later, when you’re feeling better.

It’s like a game of which came first the chicken or the egg. I don’t feel good because my life is so bad. I’m telling you, “Your life is so bad because you don’t feel good.” If you will learn how to change the way you feel in any given moment, your life will begin to reflect the good by showing and giving you good moments, then even better and better moments.

You can feel better even if you have cancer, even if you have been sexually or emotionally abused, even if you are going through a divorce, even if you are a single parent, even if you are overweight, even if you don’t have alot of money, even if you are moving again for the 10th time.

This I know for sure because I’ve overcome all of these things at some point in my life. It’s not about what’s happening to you, it’s about your reaction to what’s happening in your life.

Here are 10 ways to feel better in the moment:

Now, let’s go back to my previous statement, “It’s all in your head.” Feeling good is a choice, just like feeling bad is a choice. Let go of thoughts that try to control you.

If you will begin to change the way you see things, the bills and bickering may not stop overnight but you will feel better in the meantime. And then depending on the strength of your beliefs, your life will get better and better. How fast this happens is totally up to you.

In the words of Abraham, “There is nothing more important than that you feel good.”

Become part of something that is sweeping the world with inspiration. You’ll find jokes, free audio affirmations and other secret tools to download at http://www.LiveTheSecret.us. Priscilla Parham coaches on awareness and goal setting for your health, your business and your relationships.

NOTICE: Copyright 2007 - Priscilla Parham. Article(s) may be republished free of charge to relevant websites, as long as Copyright and Author Resource Box are included; and ALL Hyperlinks REMAIN intact and active.

9 Things to Remember When Your Feelings Get Hurt

If you were a sensitive child chances are you are now a sensitive adult. Everyday events may affect you differently than someone who is less sensitive. Other people do not understand this many times and will tell you that you are just being “too sensitive”. How we feel each day can have a powerful effect on our self-esteem. Maybe they are just being “too insensitive”. To effectively cope in our world you must remember these things:

• Remember that what people say to you or about you is really about them and has nothing to do with you
• If someone says something to you that hurts your feelings tell them that you did not like how they spoke to you
• See if sometimes you are misunderstanding what someone else says to you
• Realize that many people talk just to have something to do and don’t even know they are being insensitive
• Stay away from people who have been hurtful to you in the past
• Spend time building you your self-esteem
• Focus on your own interests and beliefs and do not become involved with other people’s opinions
• Celebrate the fact that you are sensitive. You are most likely also a very creative person.
• Look for other people who are also sensitive and form friendships and alliances with them. They will understand how you feel and be better friends to you in the long run

Many people will tell you that you are being too thin-skinned and should just let insensitive comments roll off you “like water off a duck’s back”. But only you know how you feel and you will feel better if you acknowledge your emotions and feelings. We all have an emotional guidance system that lets us know at every moment how we are feeling. Look for situations where you feel good and avoid those that make you feel bad. You are a special, unique being that deserves to feel joy and happiness as much of the time as you possibly can.

Connie Ragen Green is a motivational writer, speaker, and mentor. To find out more visit her at http://greenhouse.typepad.com/law_of_attraction

Self-confidence and making money go together. Have you ever met a person of very low self-confidence making lots of money? No, because unless some one is confident about themselves they cannot make money. Do you wish to make lots of money? Increase your self-confidence with these easy steps.

Forgive yourself every night about all the blunders you make during the day. Do not criticize yourself. Instead analyze your mistakes and find out what went wrong in a surgical manner. Do not involve any emotions. Analyze and find out how to correct things next time.’

Read books written by good authors. Write down the passages that you like. By writing, you develop hand and mind coordination and mind remembers the text more easily. Write down and paste the paper around the place you sit most.

Thank god and everybody else for any favor done to you. Attitude of gratitude is very important in life. When we express our thanks, we feel good. This feeling increases our confidence. Try it once and you will realize the relaxation and energy you feel.

Keep negative people away from you. There are many people who enjoy criticizing others. They try to put their friends down. Keep away from such people because they will take away your self-confidence. Keep company of those people who add to your confidence. Be with them who praise you for your achievements and qualities. They will add to your confidence.

Forget failures as soon as possible and remember your successes. Remembering failure makes us negative. Avoid that. Remember your good qualities and achievements. Thinking of failures makes us feel bad. That changes our thinking. Thinking of a smallest success makes us feel happy and adds to our confidence.

Help others whenever you get an opportunity. Smallest help will make you feel good. That will make you feel worthy and increase your self-esteem. Good luck.

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